Anyone else feel older than you are?

Amber - posted on 08/11/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Today I realized that I feel like I should be 40 instead of 20. When I was 16 I took care of my baby sister, my little brother, and the responsibilities of the house while my mom worked, partied, and dated. I lost my dad when I was 10 and I lost my stepdad when I was 17. Once my stepdad passed away my mom was never home. She worked, she went to las vegas and partied. She would even travel as far as New York to date men (We are from southern Pennsylvania) I didn't actually start to enjoy my youth until I moved in with my boyfriend at 18. And even then I couldnt live my life to the fullest because I was held down with an antisocial boyfriend. (I was hoping to date around but he was my way out and I did eventually fall in love) While living with him my birth control failed after taking a muscle relaxer and I had a baby when I was 19. I've been with my boyfriend (now Husband) for 3 years. I love my husband and my little girl and wouldn't give them up for anything. But because of everything I've been through and being a mom now I feel so worn down. I watch my little sister (now 4) and take care of my baby girl (7 months) all day until I leave for work. I work between 4 and 8 hours every single day. I rarely have a day off. And my husband goes to school 2 hours away so he's almost never home. Im always so tired and stressed.I feel like a single mother Worrying so much about money and everything. I haven't gotten to act my age in such a long time. I'm not quite sure what's been going through my head but I really miss feeling young and being single. I need a break and my husband thinks a mom should never have a break. So the very few times I do go out with friends it causes issues between him and I and then we argue. And that just stresses me more. I can't seem to win here. When will life get easier?

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3 Comments

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Tina - posted on 08/16/2012

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yeah I know that feeling I'm 24 and feel much older. I too was responsible for my younger sibling I married you. He was controlling and a jerk. I left him. I hooked up with a good friend have 2 kids 1 and 2 and I feel like I have the world on my shoulders worrying about everything. Right now is the first break I've had all day and even now it's not really a break my kids are sick I'm sick. My kids aren't settling. I got probably 3 hours sleep over the last 24 hours if I'm lucky. Been on my feet all day. I don't socialize much. I have made an effort to go for walks with my kids. I just stick them in the pram. It's just nice for us to get out. Sounds like your partner is jealous and controlling. That really doesn't get better unfortunately. You're entitled to some you time. You're not just a mum you're a person. You're entitled to unwind occasionally. Don't give into to his debates. Don't bother arguing with him you don't have to justify your need to get out and see friends. I've gotten to the point I refuse to debate with my partner. I'm not going to get into stupid debates with him and I'm not a child. I let him know what I am doing. I do not let him dictate though. Neither should you. I'm sure he does what he wants.

Sarah - posted on 08/15/2012

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I can totally relate! Im only 20, and my life is just take care of baby, have food on the table at 6 when my man comes home, do the cleaning, house work ect.

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2012

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I know somewhat how you feel. It is hard and you feel like you have the whole world on your shoulders? It is hard. Somedays I can't seem to take it.. I'm only 18, am out on my own have a full time job, a boyfriend who drinks more than I like, and smokes (adds stress to my pregnancy), along with just having a rough pregnancy, physically and emotionally.
I know it's gotta be hard on you, and I'm not sure how ima be able to do it but I suppose we have to go one day at a time.