anyone else sick of dealing with their babies daddy and his drama?

Amanda - posted on 03/31/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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okay so i was with my sons father for 6 months when i got pregnant. i didn;t know he had cheated on me when our son was.. created but i found out a week later! i was giving him a month to see if i could handle trying to forgive him and at the end of that month i got a positive pregnancy test! i took it as a sign and stayed. that's when things went down hill.. he lied all the time about who he was with where he was. he lied to everyone. i thought it was him freaking out about being a father. turns out he also cheated on me with around 3-5 girls (he Denies it, but i find it hard to believe that many girls were hacking his account finding every new password just to get to him). when i got put on bed rest i saw even less of him. i had preeclampsia and an irritable uterus so getting stressed out could be VERY bad and he knew that but he still lied i caught him one day he had spent the night one town over and kept saying he was at home (would have been fine if he had told the truth) after i found out and got upset he broke up with ME the next day we decided it was a break from each other for one week. during which if i called having a panic attack he YELLED at me. the day after we had started hanging out again our friend committed suicide... at the funeral i found out he had been telling people for a month that we weren't together and he was single. for some reason i stayed and he kept lying. i was an idiot for staying so long. when our son was born by c-section he seemed more excited about the scrubs then for the baby and showed no concern for me. the next day he left me there alone. i didn;t see him much after that.. when our son was three months i broke up with him and he came crawling back begging i gave him a chance. he seemed to have changed but i found out he didn;t when i had to move across the country. he was following a month after me. while i was gone once again it was the "i'm single' deal. he even dated a 14 year old (we were 18) and flirted with my ex friend. he got out here and I didn;t find anything out till a few months after. i decided i couldn;t be with him and broke up with him.. a week later i found out i was 6 weeks pregnant. now he's living it up and doesn;t hesitate to rub it in my face. he's even friend with his ex who he claimed was trying to break us up when i found emails between them. and today he called because he was upset and needed someone to talk to. i told him to call someone else. i want him to see his kids but im so sick of talking to him or thinking aobut him. he hurt me beyond belief. he barely showed an interest in his son and i still have yet to see a child support payment. he was the first and only guy i've ever been with. now I'm scared of relationships because i can;t trust anyone. anyone else have big problems with they're babies dads? can anyone relate to this? does anyone else not get along with they're babies dad but the dad and kids still see each other?

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[deleted account]

I also have some baby drama that has a lot to do with my current boyfriend and HIS EX.

I am new to this site--So I don't know if you can any of the threads that I have posted. But it may be in my profile. Please read and respond.

Need advice before I go even more CRAZY!



Thank You!

Amanda - posted on 04/20/2009

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okay new updates: he has now decided that the baby im pregnant with now is not his and he wants a dna test. i have only slept with him i never have cheated. and the worst part now him and his ex gf (who is getting NOWHERE near my kids btw) are moving in together. next time i talk to him he'll know that if shes with him he will not be seeing our kids because that much is up to me. she is not a good influance. and he pulled the i'm getting a lawyer bit. i still have gotten no money for child support. im getting a lawyer tomorrow. i tried to keep this nice and friendly and he's made it messy. honestly he has not changed he's still a child. he is in bc and im in manitoba so its going to be interesting to see how we'll be settling this. i wish he could have had a bit a relationship with them but... right now i wish he would just fade away. its insulting that he's with his ex all of three months after i broke up with him and he obviously has been with her for a while. he also ditched coming to our sons first birthday and the birth of our second child. he decided he wasn't coming to the birth because his gradmothers wedding was more important. i wish i could have kept this civial but he is pushing me at every turn! grrr! and seriously im wondering how many kids he'll have by 30... my guess atm about...8 maybe more. sorry im just so mad right now! especially now he's dating that whore. it just convinces me that he was sleeping with her when we were together. because i found emails and he said she hacked his account and sent them (yeah right how did she get your updated numbers?). so she ruins our relationship and you date her? suuuure buddy.

Kristen - posted on 04/20/2009

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my baby daddy and i barely get along but we've just made it a point to at least act civil in front of our son so he doesn't blame himself for our mistakes. as long as he takes care of our son then, I have no problem with letting them spend time together.

Adrienne - posted on 04/19/2009

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i hope my story helps... me and my boyfriend we dating for 2 1/2 years..we met in gr9..and when when we were on our 31/2 years together we found out we were having a baby... we were so happy buying things and think about how our baby was going to look like... and one day like the month when i was gonna give birth his cousin said.. " are you sure your the dad??" what the fuck kinda question is that.. ((okai im not a cheater and i dont lie . unlike her. steeling money form her family.. and nows the cousin has a daughter and pregnant with another kid. and the babyfather dosent help and she dosent have a job and keeps asking US for money.. to support her ass... you think thats right??? )) soo anyways. then i had our babygirl and he was with me... so we started to live with my God-fathers house and then he started to fuck me over... he started going on... TAGGED, IMVU,WOOME,YOUTUBE., and started looking for girls ages 16-18, in our area , White and has huge ass and tits. started emailing them.. and i soo BOOKED HIM FOR THAT i knew all this accout passwords ... and i when on his iphone sherching for a youtube video my mom showed me i was gonna show him.. but then i see all these saved "white girls shaking ass" and bullshit like that some here i am taking care of your daughter while you put the tv on low volume and watch porn and touching yourself while im sleeping.. WOOOHOO you can blust your self. like you dont think about your daughter your can fucking clean the damn house your always on the computer and ps3 and btw I BOUGHT IT.. and letting me pay the rent by myself?? and you dont even go to school when your tution is paid for.. and btw he was to pay it back.. and your wasting time looking and fugly girls on the internet sucking big cocks that you dont have .... am i just being over protective?

Dee - posted on 04/11/2009

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hi iam 19, i have 2 sons and my eldest son sees his dad at a contact center bty my youngest sons dad as vanishd he just dosent want to no and does not help me out in any way.. please dont get back with him as you have got to do the best for your childern.. if you still want him to see your childern the best thing tro do is contact your local child center or even nursery as thet will have or no some where that has a contact cener which all his contacts will be set up by some one else and you will not need to talk to him or see him.... good luck. x

Monique - posted on 04/08/2009

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I moved to Ireland with my family and my boyfriend (now ex) stayed in South Africa. We made a deal that I would come back to SA after 3 months so we could be together. I got the return tickets and everything. anyway a few days after I got to Ireland I began feeling sick and weak. A few weeks later my symptoms got worse, and I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend and he ignored me for days. He then sent me a long message telling me he loves me and we can be a family and blah blah.



Then I found out he slept with another girl and that he's telling people he is single. Eventually I confronted him and he told me he doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby and that I mustnt come home.



He still says he loves me yet hes sleeping around.. im really confused..

[deleted account]

I think it's best not to force these guys to be Dads.  I know you don't really have a choice but I honestly think its best for the baby not to have a guy in and out of thier life never knowing if he's going to be available for them or not. I had my son 10 years ago (I am 27 now) and he has never met his father.  His father stopped calling and had nothing to do w/ me from the time I was about 7 mos pregnant and I let him go.  I got married when my son was 5 and my husband adopted him and we are living happily ever after (not w/o any drama at all of course I mean men are men)

Hayley - posted on 04/07/2009

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i can kinda relate to some of it, my kids dad wasnt on drugs or anything like that, he was fine when he found out i was pregnant we hadnt been together long and i was only 16 at the time, through the pregnancy everything was fine he came to the midwives with me and was at all the scans and even at the birth.



everything went down hill after i had my son i had to move in with him and his parents and all he did was sit on the computer all night and sleep all day. when we finally got our own place he was still the same i did all the decorating and cleaning and looking after baby and cooking while he carried on with what he wanted to do. he even went to college and brought a bass guitar... we didnt have much money at the time.



before my son was a year old he started to get violent with me if he didnt get his own way, he also started to self harm and blamed me for it. he hit my son and that was it i kicked him out.  he saw him a few times while i went to college at night once a week for 2 hours and when it came to doing the exam he decided he was too tired to look after him, and didnt want to see him or me again. my son is 5 this year and hes had nothing to do with him since he was 1.



i think the best option is to not let them see the kids till they have sorted themselves out because its not good for the kids seeing their dads like that and if they dont want to sort themselves out then its their problem... you need to do whats right for the kids and you and leave them to sort out, you cant force them they have to decide they want to be a part of their kids lives, and im sorry to say some dads just dont want to because they cant handle the responsibility of a baby.



i dont know if any one has tried it but if they are interested, supervised access so you know they cant do anythin wrong by the kids

[deleted account]

im sorry to hear about all of you and the situation you have went through or still are going through with "baby daddies".I can relate to it..im a single mother of a beautiful 17mth old daughter.Her dad and I hooked up at a party and things went good for a bit,shortly after he went to jail and we called if off he wasnt in long as it was for breach of probabtion.After getting out we got back together although the whole time he was in he kept in contact and I visited him as much as I could.Shortly after he got out I found out I was pregnant we had our "little" arguements as most couples do but everything seemed to go great besides that.During my 22nd week into my pregnancy we had a scare I almost lost our daughter due to preterm labour and losing my mucus plug her father was in the city at the time with a job and trying to find us a place.Me im from a small town well when he heard the news he came home to us the rest of the pregnancy when great I was 2weeks over and got induced.The night I had her (1) day before my birthday her dad screwed off an hour after said he was getting something to eat and I didnt see or hear from him for over 2hrs or longer.He came back saying he ran into an old friend and went back to their place for a drink to celebrate.All I wanted was to be with my new family that night and hes out celebrating how nice.Well a couple months went by and after I had our daughter things went downhill we started argueing and couldnt stand each other I didnt want drinking or drugs around my baby so he would sneak off to do them when he told me he quit when i confronted him he lied.Middle of winter I packed the baby and I up and left moved back home with my mom well a couple months went by and we heard from him once in awhile it wasnt till after she was baptised we tried to work it out again and with no luck he cheated on me and I couldnt take being hurt like that so once again the baby and I left this was over 8mths ago.. He calls when he wants,makes an appearance when he wants and shows interest when its ohkay for him.. the love I had for him is still there and I do want him back to work it out not just for myself but for my daughter to.He just left here this weekend to go home and he has explaing to do to his gf as to why he cheated on her.He tells me he loves me all the time but im just unsure if I could take the pain and know hes cheated on me once and wonder if he would do it again

Amanda - posted on 04/01/2009

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oh god. it just baffles me how men can just walk away from there babies... i mean i look at my son and i could never put ANYTHING above him. my Ex use to put his friends above us to. he didn't do drugs but they sure did! reading that makes me feel sorry for your daughter and you. she never gets to know her father because he's to much of an idiot to realize how wonderful a child is. and you have to be there for here and try and explain why daddy isn't around. i don;t think men like that even realize what they're doing to us or their children. and yeah i definitely agree with you on not letting him have her for the weekend. my Ex thought he would just take our son for a week to go 12 hours to his grandmothers wedding! (i would be about 8and a half months pregnant) he never sees our son so our son would be terrified! its funny how they thing they can just pick up and be dads when they want to.

[deleted account]

wow, me and my daughters 'father' is somewhat like that.  I started dating him when i was in grade 12.  we were together about 7 months before i got pregnant.   I was three months pregnant at my grad. after grad, i made the choice to move back to the city with him, thinking we were gonna live happily ever after.  i was very mistaken.  living with him was hell, he did drugs around me all the time, the place was always a mess, and eventually his brother (who we were living with at the time) got us evicted.  So after that i moved back in with my mom, which i should have done long before then.  I eventally told her i was pregnant when i was about 5 months prego.  after I moved back in with her, he started not calling, not wanting to do anything together, he was still doing the drugs, but i just pretended like i didnt realize what he was doing.  Christmas time that year, he proposed and me being 17 and thinking that he was the best thing in the world i said yes... needless to say nothing was ever planned or anything,... anyways hmmm when i went into labour it was the middle of winter in the middle of the night, i called everywhere trying to find where he was, couldnt, and eventually when i did find him, he was hammered and stoned outta his mind, and thats how he was when my daughter was born.   needless to say things went downhill from there.. he made the little effort to come see her when i got home from the hospital, but eventally after about a month and a half it started getting less and less and eventually he just stopped coming over, to see her.  He' was stealing my money, the little that i had, and going to buy drugs/pay of his debts he owed to people, and then lied to me about it.  im still convinced to this day that he did cheat on me, but i cant say forsure.  eventually i left him, he came crawlling back lots and he got worse into the drugs, and everything,  He saw my daughter 4 times last year. he;s not giving me any money what-so-ever for her and he only wants to see her when its convient for him, and when im busy on that day when he decides he wants to see her, he yells at me and says that im such a bitch for not letting him see her. he says he wants to take her for the weekend, but i dont trust him, his place has been raided with gangsters with guns and sh*t 5 times in the last 3 months because of him dealing, and hes always high so im not letting her go to see him.   I'm at the point where i just dont care, i've raised her by myself since the day i found out i was prego, so i just dont care, i do not get along with him, it breaks my heart that he doesnt want part of her life, and she's at the age where she wants to know where daddy is.... so its hard, but its better.   I dont get along with him at all, His entire family i do, we go to their place every other weekend so they can see her, but for him, he couldnt care less, and his parents agree with me...... a part of me sometimes wants to get back with him just cause of my daughter, but at the same time i remember what all i went thru and all the bull shit that hes getting himself, and trying to involve me into, i just dont care anymore... It's kinda sad that the drugs and party lifestyle and his little gangster friends mean more to him then his own daughter.
anyways, sorry this is so long, but hope it helps... If you dont want him to see your kids, or if hes not making a effort or anything you can't force him, you cant force him to be a father if he doesnt wanna.  but yeah. .. . take care... your doing the best you can. dont let him get to you.  its his loss that he doesnt want part of your kids life..

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