babies cant be spoiled by love

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/05/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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everyone keeps saying we spoil my son by giving him alot of attention, holding him when hea asks, i breastfeed him to sleep at night, etc.
but seriously, spoiling a baby would have to be with material objects, buying too many toys, giving in to every whim they have with stuff.
you can never have a child that loves you too much, they cant trust you too much, they cant count on you too much.
theres no age where a mom should try to force her child to stop depending on her I mean how many parents are frustrated at their teenager because their ten thinks they dont need mom and dad anymore! that they are an adult already, maybe tis because we keep trying to make our babies and toddlers grow up and not depend on mom anymore.
we try to make them seep alone, feed them selves, comfort themselves, play alone, etc
we seem to only want our kids to be independent and then when they grow up a bit and decide they ARE independent we try to yell at them that they are just a tenager and still need us!
I mean come on!
babies, toddlers, children, teens, they need their mom and dad to guide them to help them grow and develop.
they arent supposed to be independent until afulthood so why are we trying to make our 3 month olds sleep alone, with a pacifier as a fake nipple, holding their own bottles, self soothing, and having alone time to play? not holding them when they want up, not cuddling them, weaning them at a year, etc etc.
We brag about how independent our 15 month old is like its a good thing, and thn complain how our 15 year old thinks he is an adult.
doesnt this sound messed up?
YOU CANT SPOIL A BABY WITH LOVE!
babies need mom, they need comfort, they need safety.
dont make your baby grow up so fast.

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4 Comments

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Amanda - posted on 12/06/2010

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I think that holding a baby after 9 or 10 months constantly and when you put them down they scream or throw a fit, follow you crying...than yes you need to put them down. Do you seriously want a 3 yr old screaming and crying when you're taking them to preschool? Are you supposed to keep them home until they feel they are ready to go? No. Everyone needs to grow up eventually. I agree that you can't spoil an infant. No way no how. I always soothed my 4 kids back to sleep. But as they get older they need to become a little more independent. As parents it's our responsiblity to raise smart decision makers, and we may do that and our child not listen all that much, but when they are 15 and "out of control" screaming and yelling, than you obviously need some more discipline. My parents didn't get screamed at when I was a teenager. I respected their decisions. They always had the best intrest in mind. My son was sleeping through the night at 3 months and he didn't enjoy being cuddled, and carried constantly. My 3 daughters will come up and love on me when they feel like it but they learn to play alone, and do things for themselves. That's what your job is. To show them how. Not to just put them down and walk away. But teach them to know that you will be there when they need you. That you're not going to hold them 24/7, but you will when they're hurt or scared. Or even sick. It's not being mean, or rushing them it's teaching them to grow up. It's life. So I'd have to be yes and no with you on this one. :)

Stifler's - posted on 12/06/2010

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my kid never wanted to be held past 5 months... he wanted to get down and play.

Jessica - posted on 12/06/2010

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i completely agree with you!

Laura - posted on 12/05/2010

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i totally agree! i think to myself, imagine if an african woman (who goes by her and her babys instincts) saw how western society deals with babies and toddlers! im sure she would be shocked. i remember people telling me when my girl was 6 months that i needed to let her self soothe, and so i left her crying in her cot, and i cried myself, it was aweful and couldnt do it. then when i told people it was too hard they said 'its just because your instincts are telling you to calm your baby' lol! seriously, if thats what my instincts tell me, shouldnt i follow them!?