bad mum cuz ur young...

Kay - posted on 04/06/2009

yea thats what i mean,they do make u doubt yourself..its almost as if u think well they think im such a bad mum then i jus will be..!

although i would never stoop to that but u no what i mean.! lol

tbh my health visitor,doctors and midwifes wer really nice to me,especially my midwife..she had her first at 17 so she was really understandin and helpful..

my doctor was reallyy good to me too..to be fair my health visitor needed a kick up the back side to actually bother with me but when she did she was nice..

i started to suffer with post natal depression and my doctor had a go at my HV cuz she didnt realise it at all.! lol

im all good now though,still get them off days but who dont..! lol



to be 20 and hav 2..well 3 i giv u major credit..! (happy birthday btw..!)

my friends havin twins in august an she 20 in august but noin what i no with havin jus one..NO THANK YOOOOU! lol..

it is hard work and i think people should PRAISE young mums for that not put them down..to be so young an ''ineexperienced'' (cant spell!) it obv takes more time and effort!



my mum used to hav a go at me for doin certain things and i had to keep reminding her,although im a mum now,im still a teenager! an i cant jus switch that off..!

yyea im more moody at times,an more tierd an that but..thats what we do..! lol

and thats besides the point..if we can get the job done and done well then,to put it nicely..FUK OFF..! lol

Terri-ann - posted on 04/06/2009

I understand completely what you are going through.... i had it ALOT with my health visitors tbh... the looks from them the comments of you cant do this with your baby..... as if to say you dont have a clue love.... your 18 witha newborn baby!!!! i stopped going in the end to get Porsha (my daughter) weighed as the constant critisim was reli getting me down... i was beginning to doubt myself as a mother to porsha..... just wasnt going to give them the satisfaction!

Zoe - posted on 04/06/2009

Dont listen to wot ppl say or do. i turned 20 yesterday but i look young. and iv got a 1 n a half year old and an 8 month old and the looks i get when im pushen them in there double buggy! and when iv got my 4 year old step son with me. it gets on my nerves. im still with the boys dad and we are engaged and we have our own place n my kids r everything to me! but ppl think yeh teenage mum she sleeps around and dont no who her kids dad is. well they probaly think they have diffrent dads! and the whole smokin thing! i get looks from ppl like im a scumbag! but they dont know us do they so let them get on with there sad stuck up selves n just enjoy ur baby n ur life. we r obviously happier then these ppl coz they r going round hatin n we r going round enjoyin ourselves! god that was long but felt good lol xx

Claire - posted on 04/04/2009

well i had my 1st child when i was 15 and back in 1996 it was practically unheard of, unlike nowadays. i remember being in hospital after id had him and all eyes were on me, but i was with (and am still with) some1 i love very much, we now have 3 children, our 2nd was born in 1998 and our 3rd was born in october last year so i just think thats 2 fingers up to all those older mums in that hospital who looked down their noses at me. they probably arent with their babies dads any more and iv been with mine 15 years.

Meagan - posted on 03/30/2009

Hey, so one in every four women in the United States get pregnant before the age 18. 35% of those pregnancies are aborted and 10% are adopted, and 10% end up being misscarried.  So dont question yourself  unexpected little ones happen to more people than most think, and you should be so proud of yourself for taking good care of your little bundle of joy.  What other people think should not matter to you as long as you and you baby are happy :). 

Kim - posted on 03/30/2009

hey hun.really dont question yourself cus i used to think that aswell.my little girl is four n i had her when i was 16 and i thought that everyone would be lookin down on me cus of my age.i totally agree about there bein mothers that are 30-40 out there that arent lookin after their kids properly.i know for sure my daughter has a better life and upbringing than those children so that just shows ya dont it! i rent my own place and me and my partner both work and pay our way but for someone to look at you in the street would think that u r unemployed and so called scrougning off people.i hate the way people r like this and my advice is to let it go straight over your head as theyre nosey nobodys x x

Margaret - posted on 03/30/2009

yea i know what you mean older people always look down on the young mums i think its terrible i am only 19 aswel married and got my own places i just egnore them, they dont know me to jugde me so who cares what other people think all that matters is your baby and that she is being looked after. older people was more than likely our age when they had there first child so most of them cant say alot.

Candace - posted on 03/29/2009

i got judged alot when i was pregnant and still do.i am 17 and had my baby when i was 16....did i ever think that i was going to get pregnant no.i didnt let peple put medown because from the start i knew i was going to take good care of my child even if i had to do it alone.

Teresa - posted on 03/29/2009

Hello, being a teen mom does not make you a bad mom and that goes for all teen moms. Some teen moms are the best moms and others need a guidance and dorection. Being a bad mom is abusing your child, druging and drinking, not being there for your child and the list goes on and on. So if your not any of the above hold your head up high and thank God for the blessing of your child. I was a teen mom also and I've raised my children very well and they are teens and adults now, the outcome is very satisfying. Be encouraged.:)

Nicole - posted on 03/29/2009

Hey, I'm 31 I am married and have five kids. I look like I'm about 15 or 16 years old. I did have my first child young (17).. But let me tell you this..ignore them if you can.. someone will always have something to say or a way to look at you crazy.. Just know that you are doing the right thing for your family and go on. If they want to belittle themselves by judging others then let them. They'll have to answer for it not you.. Remeber God always has the last word..especially in situations like those.. KEEP UR HEAD UP

Kylie - posted on 03/29/2009

no hun it's not just you i had my daughter at 19 and had people constantly looking down at me, and i still do now even tho i'm now 23, your not alone. too many people judge in this day and age!

Kay - posted on 03/29/2009

no,i agree it will NEVA end..! lol

congrats on the baby..she's gorge! lol

my daughhter was due on my bday! but she came 6days early which was luurvly as i wernt workin myself up bout it..! (if i got to like 1day b4 i was due i'd be freakin out..!)



oh god that ''babies havin babies'' or ''kids havin kids'' it drives me mad!

like i said before,i hate the fact that people paint all us ''young mums'' with the same brush..

yea there are mums out there that are young an dont look after there kids properly,i no cuz ive seen it for myself..but fuk me,we ent all like that!!!

Ashley - posted on 03/29/2009

agreed!!!!! I have random people come up to me, ask my age (17 BTW) and say oh wow babies having babies...i want to just seriously slap them. im also in a stable relationship. we dont have our own place yet, but we will eventually. right now we live with his mom and help her out with bills. i got pregnant actually on my 16th birthday lol. and had her almost 3 months ago. (january 7th) im so sick of people saying that young moms cant be responcible. YES WE CAN!!! it will never end though.

Gloria - posted on 03/28/2009

YUP YUP IT HAPPENDS ALL THE TIME .. I FEEL LIKE IM ALWAYS BEING TOLD HOW I SHOULD RAISE MY PRINCESS.. I FEEL LIKE AT SOME POINT THEY WERE 1ST TIME MOMS TOO SO WHY SHOULD I HEAR NAGGING LIKE IF IT WAS SOME BIGG THING!!

Kay - posted on 03/28/2009

oh no,thats fine enit..he does sound like a bit of a prick mate..my b/f asked for a dna and i told him he can fukin hav it but he ent cumin bak to me after..! lol



ah,mate..dont worry bout the whole benefit thing,we,to be fair,went ages without claiming anything but now we gettin some cuz i stoped gettin maternity pay so we needed the extra cash..! lol



an to be fair u do get quite alot..! lol

my daughters name is skye..an she a propa lil' madam.!

yea,do whatever is best for yur baby hun,if he wana fuk about an miss the best bits of his life then let him,he the one loosein out,and at least u get him all to yurself..! lol

and im sure ryhs will only lov u more for doin it by yourself..



not bein funny but so many people get left alone with their baby's an jus throw 'em into care..at least u takin care of yurs.! xx

Shellie - posted on 03/28/2009

yeh mines rented and im not ashamed to say that i get benefits, well i will be in a few months...long story but had to pay 6months rent upfront cos cuddnt find a garentor!!

its all fun and games this housing malarki!! lol

yeh Readings not far i used to go there with m8s shopping lol.

na his dad in Australia...he went traveling there just b4 i found out i was preg!...he kept in contact for a lil while wen i was preg.. and then just stopped!!

he doesn`t believe he`s the dad he wants a dna i was like fine come over here and u can have one PRICK!!

he pisses me off!! i only want the dna for rhys`s sake (thats his name btw lol) so wen he`s older and asks me hu his dad is il have proof on paper to say and i can tell him i did all i cud but he didnt want to no, its just so rhys can see on paper hu he is.

sorry for the essay.. and life story lol

whats ur lil gilrs name? xx

Kay - posted on 03/28/2009

yea we got our own place,well renting but still we payin for it.! lol

we been together 4years in august,been together since i was 16..awww.! lol

im from Reading..! so not far from u..!



is your littlens dad involved at all then..?

whats your babys name..? xxx

Shellie - posted on 03/28/2009

you got ur own place?...im from woking in surrey.

how long u been with ur lil girls dad?..

xx

Kay - posted on 03/28/2009

oh yea defo agree with ya,i would have another one..

BUT...not just yet! lol



yea most of the time i can never be arsed to do hair,make-up an all that shit..! lol.

i live in my ugg's too..! lol

or my dolly shoes..! lol where bouts yhoo from then..? xx

Shellie - posted on 03/28/2009

yeh we cant go out in comfy clothes cos we just get shit! i cant be arsed to do hair make-up, clothes, shoes and all that bollox everyday its pointless half the time!

i live in my uggs lol.

yeh its def hard and especially on my own! i live on my own so i dnt have the help i had at 1st!

but...i wouldnt change any of it, id quite happily have another one.

xx

Kay - posted on 03/28/2009

aww bless ya..yea my daughter is nearly 9months and im 20 in july..! lol



i give u so much credit for doin it all by yourself,i no u say u got family round u,but not meaning this to sound nasty but its never the same as havin ''the dad'' there..

in all fairness though i really do admiar u,i no how hard it is an i got my b/f PLUS family..!

what makes me laugh is that it depends what im wearin an how i look that people judge my age on..! if i go out in some comfy joggin style trousers,trainers an a jacket..my god do i get the ''looks'' lol

but if i got out hair done all nice,make up done,jeans,boots the works,then i get nothing! actually tell a lie,i get people actually talkin NICELY to me about my baby and no one ever thinks that she ent mine..! ARRRRRHH! lol xx

Shellie - posted on 03/28/2009

hey im new on here...but i no exactly wat u mean! im 19 and i get accused of being 13 sum times!!

it drives me crazy how ppl jugde us for being young mums, we do just as good as older mums!

my lil boy is nearly 10 months old now and ppl still look so shocked wen they ask if he`s mine!!

im a single mum, and have done it all myself since i was pregnant and i think im doing a pretty good job, he never goes without and he has the love and care he deserves and needs from me and our family.

i hate it i get funny looks all the time and ppl saying stuff all the time especailly the older generation!!!

im 20 in june but look ALOT younger it makes me so mad!! grrrr!!

xxx

Kay - posted on 03/28/2009

oh my god amanda..that is awful..!

sorry, i know im acting thick,but whats RSV..??! :o/

still,obv its sumut bad so that is really really bad of that doc to say shit like that..! i would have gone off on one..! lol

i took my daughter to the doc's cuz she was unwell,wernt nuffin serious jus a bit flu-ee!

and in the waitin room there was this old lady who kept lookin at me,really givin me the dirty look,i mean if looks cud kill..fuk me,id be gone! lol

so i jus tried to ignore her but i got so pissed off that i jus turnt round an stared at her! lol,she didnt like it much cuz after i turnt round to my cuzon an said (so she cud hear..!)

''god,what is peoples problems..! i mean hav i got sumut on my face or sumut..!''



it really got to me though cuz she smiled at me an my daughter when we first got there an spoke to my daughter but then i said to my baby..come to mummy or sumut like that an as soon as she realised i was her mum that was it..! xx

Amanda - posted on 03/28/2009

i kno how yall feel, my son was sick and i took him ti the er cuz it was a sunday the normal doc was closed . he only acted sick at nite and of course its daytime. the doc told me that he was fine that i was just wanting the drugs for myself. well i left there and took him to his normal doc the next day and found out he had RSV!!! just becuz im 18 doesnt mean anything i knew my son was sick and that er doc thought i wanted drugs. my son almost died becuz of that.

Tabetha - posted on 03/28/2009

I know exactly how you feel! right after i had my daughter, few friends of mine ( who also had babies) and i went to the mall and an old woman really said " Oh my god! Teenage moms, thats disgusting !"

Im in college now and my daughter goes to the day care on campus and all the other moms there look at me like i'm crap. It makes me so upset, i finished high school like everyone else, i'm in college with everyone i graduated with. They are the ones that look stupid because theyre like 45 trying to get an education, atleast i can say that im doing what i need to do to give my daughter a life and not depending on anyone else like im sure they did!

Fawn-Marie - posted on 03/28/2009

i agree with u im 19 aswell and just had a little boy huz nearly 2 months and im constantly getting dirty looks specially when i was pregnant...people just look at u as a statistic not as a human being...i know im a good mum...i know a women thts nearly 30 that has kids and still lives with hr mum because the mums a live in babysitter she always has the kids...now she doesnt get judged for passing the buck!! people shud take a good look before they judge just because we r young dont mean we cant do the job as good as older mums

Mandee - posted on 03/27/2009

i know the feeling. before i had my daughter i was not married. i felt like everywhere i went poeple looked down on me because i was pregnant and looked so young. im now 21 but i was 20 when i had my daughter. and now i am married and she is 3 months old and i still feel as if everywhere i go people look at me and whisper to people they are with and i constantly feel like im being judged. my daughter always has someone watching her. whether its me or her daddy. im also very protective of who holds her and who watches her. my husband and I have our own house (which we rent fro right now) and he is in the Air Force, which means its a gauranteed job. dont ever question yourself about being a good mother. i did that when my daughter was first born and it will only make everything a lot harder to deal with. if you are doing everything you can to make sure your babies best interests are met then dont change anything your doing and dont worry about anyone else.

Karla - posted on 03/27/2009

well done kayleigh!

Karla - posted on 03/27/2009

well done kayleigh!

Anna - posted on 03/27/2009

take it as a compliment. I know, your thinking, how is that a compliment? Just think of these people as looking at you that way out of love for your child(ren). They cant help not knowing anything about you so all they have to go by are first impressions. Leave the negative feelings with them and focus on the love you have in your family that they dont know about.

Im 22, and sometimes I get the same thing but not as often (my sons daddy is 27 but he has grey hair..george clooney-esque lol and I can pass as mid to late 20's so people mistake us as older)

Alycia - posted on 03/27/2009

I understand what all of you are saying. I was 17 when I got pregnant, 18 when she was born. Now she's 4 and as happy as ever. But even now, I still get stares from the other mom's at the playground. What're you gunna do? I mean, my daughter is happy, healthy, and well-cared for and that's all that matters. Who cares what some 34 yr old doctor spock reading home-schooling mom thinks of me?!

Kay - posted on 03/27/2009

no i dont get them either..!

i dont see why they have the need to do it,it was worst when i went into labour,wen i went into the hospital the midwife that i had was a right arsehole..! cuz she see i was young she treated me like shit..i was 6cm dilated when i got to the hospital and she just told me to wait in the waiting room..! lol

but lucky for me she finished her shift and i got two really really nice midwifes..they wer great..



as for the social services,they are complete fuk ups!

my aunt had to take her daughter to the doctors cause some one with a '''rumour'' of havin HIV had cut himself an whiped it on her and as a result of being a cautious good mum she ended up havin them involved thinkin she was a bad mum..!



to be fair my aunt had her first at 19,he's 17 in august an she gets funny looks still..! cuz her son is taller then her people think that he's her b/f..! lol so she gets sum funny arse looks! it is funny when u look bak but not at the time..

i just wish that people wouldn't paint everyone wit the same brush..



yea i no that alot of yung mums are bad parents,and dont look after their kids properly but I ENT ONE OF THEM..!!! xx

Hailey - posted on 03/26/2009

Yep...young and pregnant is tough to hear people talk about you and stare, but young and a mom is worse sometimes i think for that ... everywhere i go there are stares and comments ... after you have your baby its even worse bcuz then ppl feel like you just NEED there opinion...UG ... im 17 and a good mom ... Ayden is always clean and has everything he needs...i don't get judgemental hypocrits

Monica - posted on 03/26/2009

Skye that is a really cute name! and she is soo cute!!!  i know i cant b-leave he is already almost 1! he climbed in to his walker all by him self the other day its crazy! just wate till Skye starts walking and  climbing, its great fun!

Briannalee - posted on 03/26/2009

everyone says i look 15, i'm very short, but i'm really 20. i get the weirdest looks when i'm out with my son. i had people come up to me and say aw how cute you're taking your little brother out or aw thats cute you're already starting the "babysitting" stage. its really annoying and i try so hard not to let it bother me, but it really does.

Marie - posted on 03/26/2009

I am not a young mum but I would just say take no notice. You are doing a great job looking after you beautiful baby and yourself and that's all that matters. Hold your head up high and be proud. There are lots of mum's out there in traditional family units that are not good mum's. Good luck to you and your baby.

best wishes

Marie

Nellie - posted on 03/26/2009

i fell that all the time coz im small people think im younger them i am im 19 and neva been happyer to be a mum i mean yh i wasnt ready to be a mum but would neva change a thing just coz we r younge dont mean nout we r doin just a good of a job as everyone eles

Kayleigh - posted on 03/26/2009

i totally agree im 17 got social services on my back just because my ex partner was beating me and i got the police wen it cum 2 the stage he was doin it in front of my 4 n half mnth old son n im taking him court and all that and now social services lookin at me 2 say it all my fault and trying everything to take my son away whn all i done is the right thing takes da piss really and when i got out i get people giving me dirty looks cause i look like if im 13 buhh my son has got everything he needs and always got a smile on his face well fed and everything and people carry on judging me feel like everything i do is never good enough 2 prove 2 people i am a good mum

Kay - posted on 03/26/2009

oh yea same with skye ((my daughters name!))

she is into everything an NEVA stops moving..her nick name from her nan (my mum) is bridget the fidget! lol

skye is one 29th June..i cant beleive how quik time fly's by,feels like only last week that i gave birth! its so sad :( xx

Monica - posted on 03/26/2009

my sons name is Camren he is just about to turn 1 on april 12. twins oh my! i couldnt do it one is hard i cant think how hard it would be to be telling two not to pull the kittys tails! he is one crazy baby! in to EVERY THING!

Kay - posted on 03/26/2009

aww,thank u so much monica..

im from reading near london..

yea i bet thats a pain wen one stops the ova starts..! lol

my mate is 19 and she found out that she's havin twins..! rather her then me! although it would be lovely to have twins,i no what its like with a newborn so..lol

what are your childrens names..? xx

Monica - posted on 03/26/2009

i think the reason so many people look down on it is because we being young may miss out on alot because we have children  you know what i mean... but they dont look at it from the point that hey we just started our familys sooner than most but we can do just as good as any one else!! look at your little girl she looks soooo happy and healthy, and beautiful so your doing awesome!!!

Kerry - posted on 03/26/2009

i know i love em so much with mine once 1 is sorted the other 1 starts i got 2 girls and i live in nottingham how bout u

Kay - posted on 03/26/2009

aww,bless..!

my lil' girlie is 8months,nearly 9..

and a defo big handflul! lol little bugger,but u gota lov 'em ent ya! lol

wer bouts u from..?

Kerry - posted on 03/26/2009

its ok i know wot u mean i didnt expect 2 have 2 by now either but things happen and i wouldnt change them 4 the world i love them so much it gets hard sometimes but its all good im 19 in june my oldest is nearly 2 and my youngest is 4 months how old is urs

Kay - posted on 03/26/2009

bloody hell..two kids at 18,im alright with jus the one atm..! lol

but to be fair my daughter is my 4th pregnancy so..! and im only 19,20 in july..

didnt mean that as an insult either..jus meant well,u no..lol! xx

Kerry - posted on 03/26/2009

i dont think ur a bad mum just cos ur young im 18 with 2 kids and everyone seems 2 think they no better just cos there older than me

Kay - posted on 03/26/2009

exactly..and i AM a dam good mum..!

and my daughter is so well looked after,no matter what we always make sure she has everything she needs an more..

she is loved,warm,clothed,fed and always so so happy..((very happy baby!))

she has only ever been ill twice in her 8months of life and they only ever been colds..!

so if i wer that bad surley my daughter wud be unwell all the time..!



not happy to hear it dont get better..! lol but thank u for sayin she's lovely,ur little one dont look very old in that pic..an is a real cutey..! xxx

Joyce - posted on 03/26/2009

I hate to be the one to say it but it doesn't get any better. I was 15 when I had my daughter she is 12 now and i'm still judged for been a teenage mum even tho shes happy healthy and goes to school every day.

Christina - posted on 03/25/2009

I am 19 too.. soon to be 20, but i look like im prolly 16!! and my daughter is really tall for her age so i am always gettin those STARES from older ppl and it really pisses me off.

I am also in a stable relationship actually engaged to be married next year and we have lived at our own place since FEB. of LAST YEAR and i go to college while my fiance works every day.

i completley understand where you are comming from and i think it is so rude the way ppl just look at you.. i have even heard ppl talkin about me under thier breath to other ppl !!

its a shame b/c for one.. you dont know us. for two. i know that i am a DAMN good mom!! my baby girl loves me more than anything and she has anything and everything she needs and wants at all times!! she will NEVER go without!! and she gets sooo much attention..she is a little spoiled but who cares!

so next time anyone goes out and sees a young mother.. dont give her that "STARE" or that "LOOK" b/c she just might be one of the best mothers anyone has ever seen!