considering taking my daughters father to court...

Jessica - posted on 10/27/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My daughters 6 months old, her father has barely been in her life. Three weeks ago, he started seeing her twice a week, for the first time since august. Things were actually going really well (he was GOING to start giving me money, was actually taking her when he was supposed to, etc.) until he started telling me what to do, which is what caused all the problems back in august. He thinks he can take her wherever he wants, bring her around whoever he wants, and not have to tell me. His friends are absolute scum; they're all druggies and alcoholics who don't like me. He get's mad at me when I tell him I don't want her around them. Is it wrong for me to not want my daughter around these kinds of people?? I honestly don't care if he thinks he's keeping her out of harms way I just don't want her around them. He tells me I give her too much attention and basically that I don't know what I'm doing. We got in a huge fight on Sunday cause he wouldn't tell me where he was/was going after I dropped her off. Now he's threatening to take ME to court for custody. What exactly is he capable of? Could he possibly get custody, even though he's been arrested like 6 times (right now he's on probabation, has lost his liscence for 2 years and is doing community service after being caught with a pound of weed, when I was pregnant he was accused of assaulting a girl but was found not guilty, and a few years ago he was arrested for selling alcohol to minors and then A WEEK LATER was arrested again for providing alcohol for minors at a party at his house.) I've never so much as had a parking ticket, let alone be in trouble with the law.

Sorry this is so long, I just really don't want her around him at all and I'm not really sure how custody/visitation rights work.... I don't care about child support, I don't want his money. If anything he needs my money. He's not even on the birth cerftificate. I want him out of my life!

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10 Comments

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Sarh - posted on 10/29/2010

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If you do ever go to court bring those things up. And tell them you do NOT want him to have custody or visitation. You have every right to deny him seeing her so until he takes you to court (he probably will not), continue to keep your baby girl safe!

Jessica - posted on 10/29/2010

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Sarah, that's exactly what I told him; he's not on the birth certificate and that I was doing HIM a favor by letting him see her. He can request to have a paternity test done but he'll have to pay the $400 something that it costs. The absolute last thing that I want is for paternity to be established cause then I don't have total control. If he does get visitation, I'm not going to allow it unless its court supervised and he's drug tested.

Sarh - posted on 10/29/2010

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You are not in the wrong! You are mom you are the boss!!!! He has no right just popping up out of no where and trying to run how things go. There is no reason for your daughter to be around those types of people, and you can't keep a baby safe around those people. I don't see how you could give a baby too much attention!!!
If he has been arrested an you can get proof of this (from your states court access website), the court will need YOU to provide this "evidence" against him. If your record is clean and he has no evidence against you, he should not get full custody. From what you stated he should not get custody at all, you can if you want take him to court so you can fight for full custody of your daughter. IMO he is not a fit father!
Also, like Christina said, if he is not on the birth certificate you do NOT have to allow him to see her, and if you have not gone to court for paternity then again he has no rights to seeing her! Simply deny him visitation, don't drop her off by him ever again!!!! I told my daughter's father (who is on child support, but doesn't pay, who has visitation rights which where ordere through the court system, etc) he can either see her ONLY w/me around or not at all. I refuse to do anything, but supervised visitation w/her father, and he has not seen her since Early 2009, before that he had not seen her for about a yr. Now I have put my foot down and told him he will no longer see her. He is a felon, drugy, alcoholic, stupid gang banger, is not working or doing anything but running the streets. He could at any second call the cops and tell them I am refusing him visitation, but he hasn't in almost 5yrs! Not sure if I got too far off topic, but I hope this helps!

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2010

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My daughter's father only asks to see my daughter once every couple of months but his mom sees her 2 times a week and when he does want to see her he wants to take her to his friends house and he knows i wont let him take her over there because they r always doing drugs. And then the one time i have seen him with her was at her 1st birthday and he was being really mean to her because she would not eat her food and he was shoving it into her mouth. and also he has been in trouble with the law alot but i found out that if we ever go to court they wont care about what trouble he got into cause at the time he was only 17

Stephanie - posted on 10/28/2010

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yerr just refuse unless he comes to your house and you are there too or something

Kelina - posted on 10/27/2010

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I agree with others. If he's not on the birth certificate, he has no rights. If he really wants to see her then he'll have to take you to court and he'll be ordered to pay child support, which will probably be back dated, and then taken out of his paycheck. I don't think you're overreacting i think these are genuine concerns. And while i think every parent has a right to know their child, I also think you have the right/responsibility to protect your child. If he were to take you to court, given his past history, my guess would be he'd be given supervised visitation once or twice a week. and honestly, if he's had issues seeing ehr regularly since she was born i doubt he's gonna get his act together and take you to court.

Stephanie - posted on 10/27/2010

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My baby's dad did the same thing i took my baby to his house and his friend started chopping up a bowl of weed right next to me while i was holding my baby (who was old enough to reach out and grab it) and he said it was "ok and doesnt matter because it wasnt like he was smoking it near him" wth



If he is not on the birth cert then he has no legal rights i dont think just maybe tell him you dont think he is the father or something n see if that makes him go away

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I dont know the legal system where u are (Im in NZ lol) but honestly, Im so sure that the courts will see that your a devoted, caring and loving mother, and that u are doing what is right by ur daughter. Good on u :)

Jessica - posted on 10/27/2010

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that's what i'm doing right now. i don't think he'll actually take me to court cause he wouldn't wanna go through all that. he just wants to see her when and where he wants and not have any responsibility. he thinks i'm being completly ridiculous and out of line when i tell him who she can be around. yet everyone i've talked to about the situation says i'm not... sometimes he actually makes me feel like i am being crazy.

Christina - posted on 10/27/2010

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If he is not on the birth certificate, just refuse to let him see her. He would have to take you to court, demand a DNA test, and then the courts would set up child support that would come directly out of his pay check. What guy is going to do that?!?! Also, you have good reason to keep her away from him.

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