dads in the pic. but mom does everything

Amber - posted on 03/03/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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i need some advice my daughter father is in the pic. but i still do most the work except wen he watches her for maybe an hr all together. he likes to go out and do his own thing so iam left home wit aleia all day by myself. i have no selfesteem and he knos that. but it doesnt change anything. iam just gettin tired of feelin lik iam just his baby mama or place to live. some one help!!

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Eileen - posted on 03/13/2010

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Im like that now but you need to tell him how its going to go koz you dont need all the bullshit that hez doing ive told my babys father how its going down now we are algud but he needd tym to think koz i was not in the best of moods but you need to tell him how you feel and what you think or he is just going to keep on doing it

Jaqlyn - posted on 03/13/2010

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I am going through the same thing. I'm 18. My son father is 24 and i pay and do everything for my son all by myself. it gets really frustating and all. He watches our son for about an hour when i have to go to class and thats it. i only put up with it for my son. i mean i cant say much i am in the same situation

Cara - posted on 03/13/2010

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Wow..I thought I was the only one! My boyfriend is the same way with our son, He will hold him for like 10 minutes and no matter what Im doing, ( laundry, eating, etc) He starts complaining that he's tired and just wants to relax. He does work all day and I understand that he needs some down time, but I would LOVE to have a bit of time to myself to have a shower or just relax for a second! Anyone have ideas that work? lol let me know!!
Good luck Girls!!

Megan - posted on 03/13/2010

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I have the same problem. He is at wrk all day which i dont mind, but when he comes home he just expects me 2 have made him food and have tidyed the house. But when u hav a baby its hard 2 do anything cos it has 2 b dun 1 handed! And on the weekends i giv her 2 him 4 lyk an hr jus so i can have a nice long shower, but he refuses 2 hold her 4 more than 5mins b4 he puts her down 2 play herself while he plays his xbox...its sooo anoying i just wish he wantd 2 hold her and spend tym with her instead of me having 2 ask.

Kristen - posted on 03/13/2010

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i know the feeling... i cant even get him to play with her.it so annoy-ing and has +cau+se8d many problems in our relationship

Alyssa - posted on 03/13/2010

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Girl have you told him how you feel? You need to tell him that he cant act like a boy now he has to be a man and he doesnt need to go do his own thing whenever he wants! My fiance tried to pull the same stuff but I told him if he didnt want to grow up than I could leave and be a single mother. So you need to stand your ground and let him know who's boss and let him know what you want.. It worked for me.

Jennifer - posted on 03/11/2010

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ok i have a problem too....what if he still wants to bea part of the babys life but he is moving out of state and im not going with him but he wants me to drive about 4 hours every week twice a week what do i do how do i handel this????

Jessica - posted on 03/08/2010

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i have the same problem, he always wants me to go with him but he knows that me and my daugter need to be out till 2-3 am especially when he knows he never gets up with her in the mornings like 8ish. she is 8 months now and he has only changed her maybe 10 times fed her maybe 5 and has never got up with her even when he is here i will be cleaning and if she gets hungry i have to stop and feed her even when he is sitting right there. it ridiculous!

Amber - posted on 03/06/2010

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thank you everyone its nice to hear iam not the only one. i will take all the advice. great ideas, thanks again

Carlinna - posted on 03/06/2010

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thats how my bf was with our first,so i left him, it took him only a couple days to relize he wanted his family back, but i didnt trust him till about ten months later, he was a totally different person when we got back together, we went to counsling (something he wouldnt even talk about before) and that help us 100%, were happy now with 2 children and everything is great but i dohave to add that this doesnt always happen with selfish men, i have a couple friends and girls i know who did this and when they got back together their man was good only for a month or so and went right back to the way things were. its not far for you to wast you time and love on somebody who takes advantage, i do want to tell you to leave him, and mean it for more than just a couple days, many different things can come out of it, he could relize he loves you enough to change,or he could say he wants to change and doesnt at all once your back, or he could like the freedome and not want you back at all, these are things you have to concider, but most of all, think of yourself, and kids, its not healthy for you or your family, if you have girls they might grow up thinking thats how guys are suppose to treat women and they will find there own men like that, if you have boys they might treat women that way too. and the whole time you will be feeling the way you do now, and nobody wants to feel like this forever. i say this cuz i was there too, and in those ten months of being apart i was a happier person, and i got a break cuz when he saw our boy i was free to do my own thing. i hope this message isnt too long and scattered, i just hate hate hate seeing girls in this position and not doing anything about it, mostly cuz that was me once and if i knew then what i know now, i would have left alot sooner, alot of things wouldnt have happened to me, but live and learn i guess. make the right choice my dear, think of you! your child will be just fine if you dont work things out! and just fine if you do! think of what you need and what you want. and if you really dont know what to do, go see a counselor yourself, just for you to help with how you feel and how to deal with everything, that helps lots too

Krystal - posted on 03/04/2010

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My boyfriend is the same way. Except it's xbox. I've given up on trying to get him to help me out. I just do everything myself all day long. I really don't mind because when my daughter is like 5 + she will only want her mommy and will only go to mommy. And her daddy will realize then he isn't really in his daughter life cause he missed out on so much. Tell your man that, maybe he will change

Cassandra - posted on 03/03/2010

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I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend is the same. He is at school all day which is fine cause he needs to be at school. But then he comes home and sits on the computer the whole time and gets angry when I ask him to do something for me. Im stressed out as I have moved counrty and away from all my family and friends and we live in the middle of no where. We dont talk and we dont spend any time together. I have tried talking to him and he is good for a few days but then he goes back to normal. I dont think I can help you but I can tell you that I know exatly how you feel and just try and live day by day and do whats right by you and your daughter :)

Amber - posted on 03/03/2010

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i had that problem to...u have to tell him how u feel. if he doesnt listen then hate to say it but u have to turn into a BITCH!

its not easy but u have to or hell think he kan do whatever he wants to. u have to tell him he kant. u didnt make that baby by urself an its not right for him to still do whatever he wants wen he wants.

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