does anyone else have trouble making friends?

Danielle - posted on 06/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am 21 and had a year left of college, when I found out I was pregnant in April I lost all of my friends and neither of my parents wanted to help me in any way. I had to drop out of college and moved an hour and a half away from where I grew up and lived my whole life, from what few family and family friends I still had and leave a job that I loved to move in with my boyfriend and his family. None of his friends have any interest in including me or trying to be friends with me and no one ever talks to me. My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand how hard the move and abandonment of my family and friends has been on me. He still wants to go out and drink with his friends. I'm worried that it will only get worse and more lonely once the baby is here in December. Has anyone else had a similar problem? How or where did you find friends? I just don't want to get so depressed and feel so alone that I won't be a good mom.

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Sarah-Louise - posted on 06/25/2012

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I know exactly how you feel. I'm also 21 and had the same schooling experience which is really hard emotionally to come to terms with. I had moved to a new town on the opposite side of the country with my boyfriend before finding out I was pregnant with my son. It was brutal! With little to no support I did nearly all of my pregnancy alone. I had always heard about women who meet in prenatal class and form these lifelong friendships. That wasn’t the case with me, which I found very discouraging. At around 6 months I did however have one friend who is younger than me and had only just had her second son. It was great because her 2 and a half year old gave me great training for discipline and how to talk to a child that age, and the newborn was my practice baby for when I had my own. She however moved away shortly after my son was born. The friends I have made here are all still “living in their prime” as it were and free to do whatever they want whenever they want. I, on the other hand don’t have that luxury anymore. So what I did was went to the community center and asked about stuff for babies. I didn’t know what to expect and was worried about finding these older “Martha Stewart” type moms who were on their 3rd or 4th baby. I was very wrong. I joined a baby group called “Lunch Club” and found that there were actually some girls pretty close to my age, who had a lot of the same problems and hurtles as I have. It took a while, but after getting to know some, seeing how their kids are developing, having them see my son, I started to get one or two phone numbers. It’s kind of awkward at first, don’t get me wrong, but now I’m pretty good friends with some. On Thursdays it’s so nice to walk into a room and see people who are happy to see my son and I. With my friends from the lunch club we now have a play day at the park outside of the community center, and two of the moms and I take the kids swimming once a week! I love it. So my advice to you is to ask around at community centers and health units and such and find yourself a group to join. It really is wroth it.

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