Experiences with ignorant strangers

Lorna - posted on 09/27/2010

a still get it am 22 n ma wee yin is gawna b 6 n the look a get from OLDER WOMAN is shocking a hate it thay thnk because we are young we cant cope well am sorry but as a said am 22 and a av always been a single parent yes its hard but a do everything i can to make sure my daughter has everything. the other day a was out shoping and i had my daughter and my neice and she was really tyerd and shes only a yr old and we were on the bus and my neice screamed the bus dwn because she was over tyerd and this old woman turned round to hur friend and said " see this is why young ppl souldnt have kids the poor wee thing is clearly upset and hur mum wont pick hur up its a discrace" i turned to hur and said for ur informaiton she is tryed and fighting it and iam not pickin hur up as there is nothing wrong with hur aprt for the fact she is tyerd so mind ur own next time was ragin with hur

Sarah - posted on 09/26/2010

i cant stand ppl that think they know bout us having childern and being mom's it aint none of there business! im 22 and raise my son just fine just cause we're young dont mean nothing. and cause there old doesnt mean they know better.

Courtney - posted on 09/26/2010

i cant take my children anywhere one is actually mine and another is my boyfriends with his Ex Wife, there both two. Now im expecting another i always get rude comments and snickers and dirty looks . yes im only 20 but im a stay at home mom as in your self and my Children have everything they need and more.

Whitney - posted on 09/26/2010

people have never really quite SAID anything, outside of my family that is, but i get those looks of near disgust whenever i take my 2yr old daughter in public now and then. people looking at me like i'm a bad person for not giving her up or worse. I won't lie, most people have been pretty accepting once they get to know me so the strangers being so ignorant and rude doesn't bother me much anymore.

Jai - posted on 09/19/2010

How rude! I would've reported her

D'Ericka - posted on 09/19/2010

i remember i was walking with my son who was 21months at the time and i was pregnant with his sister and an older lady looks at me and say "you just ruining your life" i lost my cool and had to put her in her place cuz for her to judge me not even knowin me or my situation i just lost it!

Traci - posted on 09/19/2010

I am 21 and pregnant with my second child. I work full time, I live in a privatly rented bungalow and my partner also works. I get the bus to work most days and take my son on the bus with me to drop him off with my mum or nan. Anyway there was this old couple who often got on the bus in the morning. They quite often made snide little comments about me. They thought I was wearing school uniform, on benefits, single, that both my kids have different dads that I probably don't see and that I lived on the nearby run down council estate. Every day they'd make these comments. Until one day I flipped. I am very proud of my kids and I know I'm young but that just means I can be more active with them. Also I'm proud that when I fell pregnant with my first I didn't give up on trying to support myself and just go on benefits (not that theres anything wrong with benefits, I just like to work). If I can get a job I would rather work than sit at home, sure I miss my son but his daddy only works part time so hes with him alot. I know I look young but I am not in school still, I'm in my uniform for work!! It's silly but I hate these people so much for automatically judging me. xx

Delainie - posted on 09/18/2010

Oh Krystal! That's horrible. How rude and completely unprofessional of that woman! Babies are blessings from God, not mistakes. I would've been really angry as well!

Krystal - posted on 09/18/2010

I had my daughter when I was 15 so I got that quite a bit and still somewhat do (I'm 23 with 2 kids now).
My experience I will never forget was with a healthcare professional. My mom was filling out the keepsake birth certificate the hospital gives you. She put some information on the wrong line and asked my nurse if she could get another one. She made a mistake. The nurse looked at my mom and said "Sure. We all make mistakes. That's why we're here, right?" Oh I was LIVID. My, at that time boyfriend - husband now, had to hold me back because I was about to go crazy. How DARE a NURSE call a baby a mistake!
When I had my son, I went to the same hospital but their nursing staff was a LOT better this time.

Mercedes - posted on 09/18/2010

as long as your baby is happy just ignore everybody elses ignorance.

Jai - posted on 08/28/2010

I had my son at 14 and i received several rude stares and comments. But its ok cause I survived them and I am an excellent Mother (if I do say so myself)

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2010

I'm 19 and have a 6 month old son, I get bad looks a lot cause people think I'm 14. Just last night I was at dinner with my mom and son and some lady asked my mom how old HER baby was, she looked at me and I said he was 6 months. People just dont understand, being a mom is one of the hardest, least acknowledged jobs. While there are people who give dirty looks and ugly remarks some people can be nice too. I had a woman come up to me in a restraunt once and tell me what a great job I was doing with my son and what a wonderful mom I am. When people give me ugly looks or say something I just ignore them and do something to make the baby smile. there's nothing you can do to make everybody understand what its like, but not everyone is ignorant. Trust me, you'll be rewarded for being a good mother

Brianna - posted on 08/28/2010

old people can be so rude!!! I feel like they jump to conclusions the most. they dont no what they are talking about and need to mind their own bussiness! dont worry about it who cares what they think!

Kelly - posted on 08/27/2010

Obviously, he is the one with the problem. Your right that it is none of his business, and he should have kept his comments to himself, especially with his son right there hearing his comments. But in life, as you already know, people are rude and put there input when they have not been asked for anything. But again, this is HIS problem, not yours. Just because he was outspoken and rude, that doesnt have to make you feel like your a bad mom or whatever else you are feeling. You and your child have a purpose or else you wouldnt be here. God is the only one we should care to make an impression on; anyone else really doesnt matter in the big scheme of things. Let this be a learning experience for you, in that you will come across another young girl someday with the same feelings that you are having, and you can tell them that they have a purpose in God as well. Girl to worry about it. People are rude..

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2010

I had my daughter was i was 16. Me and my friends made a game out of it to be honest we would all take turns pushing my daughters stroller and the group would fall back abit so it looked like whoever pushed the stroller was by themselfs, we would then all watch out and soon as they got a dirty look they would turn around and say I got 1 and point to the person who gave the dirty look:) who would then get completely embrassed as they didnt understand wat was happening or why they were being singled out.... and it was nice turning the tables cause they thought they were being rude to one person next think they know a group of people is laughing at them:) honestly we had so much fun with it.

Tiana - posted on 08/26/2010

hi i know exactly where ur coming from im 18 and about to have my second son. im due for sept 20th and the stares i get when im out with my son and my fiance are horrible yes i know im young but i didnt plan on having kids and im a great mom and my son has a complete family mommy and daddy and soon a little brother. in my opinion i would rather have them young that way i know im gunna be around for most of there lives yes i agree i am young but i am a great mother and being a mom is the most important thing to me and i dont care what anyone says or there opinion

Lorisa - posted on 08/26/2010

I am 19 years old and I have a 4 month old daughter. When we're out together people look at me like I'm the most disgusting thing they've ever seen. When I was pregnant, older women would sneer at me. It's an awful feeling, but I just kept telling myself that what they think doesn't matter. I love my daughter and she is well taken care of. That's all that counts!

Samantha - posted on 08/26/2010

Im 22 now but i dont look it. people would look at me with twin boys and say wow i feel sorry for you sweet heart TWO babies bless your heart.. and other one i get WOW double trouble!.! and they would laugh after saying this!!... and i would just look at them.. Confused?!?!? SAYING why would you say that...? Do i look like i cant do it? or that im doing a bad job at mothering my kids? OR what!! MY KIDS ARE A BLESSING.. and wouldnt trade it for the world. I just walk away from STUPID people and their RUD comments... If you NOT know what to say.... DONT SAY ANYTHING!!!!!

Hollie - posted on 08/26/2010

I've actually had a woman walk past, look at my little girl & mutter "poor kid." It's awful. But, just because I'm young, it doesn't make me less of a mother than someone in their 30's. It's ridiculous how much abuse young mums get :/

Gina - posted on 08/25/2010

I also get the same thing. although i am not that young anymore =( lol I had my daughter when i was 15yrs old and now me being 29 saying i have a 13yr old kinda makes ppl whisper. But whatevs i like being a young mom & my daughter likes having a young mama

Catherine - posted on 08/25/2010

I was pregnant a few weeks after my 18th , I grew up fast . Sure I get looks all the time but nobody has had the nerve to tell me Im too young, Ive had people say I look really young but I mean well sure I do , not 12 like some people suggest since im borderline 21. If someone was rude to me Id probably just say do I look like I care what you think....... There are bad moms everywhere and has nothing to do with being young physically.

Catherine - posted on 08/24/2010

I get it all the time. People should learn to mind their own business. I'm 18 with a 23 month old son. I find that it is the senior ladies that have the most to say.

Brianna - posted on 08/23/2010

lol, been there and did that =] isn't it great?? I was in Walmart with my newborn (I was 20 when she was born so not that young but I must have looked younger) this little old lady grimaced at me and said "i hope he married you since you two now have that mistake to take care of" i politely smiled and replied "mistake? oh you mean my daughter? if anyone has made a mistake today its you by thinking that i did something wrong and by assuming that i need to be married in order to raise my daughter correctly." (btw, im also a single mother, "daddy" left after the first sonogram)

theres nothing you can do when people make obnoxious remarks like that, you just have to smile and know that your an awesome mom =]

Laura - posted on 08/23/2010

i know exactly how you feel i live in ireland and am 24 and also a mother of 2 boys (Eric 4& Luke 5 months) i experience ignorance alot from elderly women it use to bother me but now i just ignore it coz they cannot afford to be judgemental as they were probably married and had loads of kids by the time they were my age so it doesnt bother me now

Faith - posted on 08/22/2010

ok. i had a really bad experience that i am willing to share. I was at a bridal shower and had my then almost 18 month old son with me. The bride to be was a good friend and there were other children there. i recently got married in April 2010 and turned 21 in june 2010. I am also pregnant with a 2nd baby, both with the same man i am married to. This girl in the bridal party kept asking questions like how old i was, how old my son was, how far along i was, etc. My son was a little cranky as he was getting molars and was around nap time. on top of being around a bunch of strangers in a confined area. Eventually i got tired of being judged for the life i chose. I could have gave both of my children up/aborted them both. I could have a way worse situation and have 2 young children, but i don't. I should not be judged for haveing children to the man i am married to. granite both were concieved out of wedlock, but we are married and plan to stay that way. We are both great parents and we wouldn't change our lifes for anything.
We don't go around judging others who are in the late maternal age to be having children who do, nor do we judge the 13 year olds with children. Personally, if they are taking responsibility, god bless them! There are people out there who do not take care of the children they have and should be banned from having kids. I am very open about this as my biological father has 9 kids, plus 2 that passed away, and don't care for any of us. He payed little child support if any for most of us.

Aubrie - posted on 08/22/2010

Also when i was at the hospital a couple of the nurses were veryyyy rude. I had three different nurses come in to my room and told me I was not feeding him rite. well what was stupid was when they said i was doing it wrongggg I was just doing what the other nurses said. Also they tried to tell me I was not aloud to go home yet (on my third day there) with my son bc I wasnt feeding him "strong enough" that he would just go home n lose weight and end up in the hospital. One of the nurses for someee reason was veryyyy rude and was like, well if you want to leave so bad then you can go but your son will have to stay here.. so would you like to leave? n of course i said no (also there was nothingggg wrong with my son there was no reason for him to stay there). My mom ended up yelling at the nurses n told her she was not aloud in the room ever again lol and i never seen her again which was nice. but dont get me wrong there was some very nice nurses there!!! and my son is a very biggg n healthy baby!!! never ever lost any weight from how i fed him!

Aubrie - posted on 08/22/2010

When i was pregnant at 17 i got tonss of looks. Had people point and be like oh my god look. lol I honestly think its funny bc i know Im a good mom no metter what age I had my son at! During summer school I had to sit in the office for 10 minutes extra after school. and one of the teachers was like. oh wow your pregnant.. your going to give it up for adoption right? and just stared at me like i was stupid. i just smiled and said no! Ones i left the room i thought about it n wished i would have said noo he was pland (: ! lol. but yes people are very rude, and should learn to keep there rude unwanted comments to them selfs.

Rebecca - posted on 08/22/2010

I'm 18 and I have 3 kids. I got pregnant with my first son at 14 and had him at 15. Teen pregnancy wasn't very common where I was living and people didn't really know how to talk to me so they mostly ignored me. The worst part was that my friend's mothers didn't want them to hang out with me anymore. One of them even called my mother and tried to tell her that she was a bad mother for letting it happen. Also, I had to change doctors because the doctor I chose didn't want to be my doctor because I was too young. The doctor I ended up with was actually a really good doctor and didn't have a problem with me being a young mother. But she dealt with a lot of people with different, more severe problems.

Alison - posted on 08/21/2010

I'm nearly 21 with a 2 and a half year old son and little girl due in 2 months, and I get funny looks whenever I go out. I'm used to it though, I just look directly at the person staring and give them a big smile. They normally smile back but some people turn away disgusted (LOL!). Just remember, the proof that you're doing a good job is your healthy baby.

Melissa - posted on 08/21/2010

When I was 18 and my daughter was 8 months old I was at the store with my mom when we bumped into the mother of one of her students. When my mom introduced me and my daughter the lady said "She's yours? But aren't you only about 15?"
She could have thought of a more polite way of asking how old I was.

Patricia - posted on 08/21/2010

why did you even bother to explain yourself to that ignorant shit! Everyones ideas on what age good mums need to be is ridiculous age has nothen to do with it you do whats right for your child love feed dress and nurture what more do you need ? im a mum of six seperated mine are all grown up now and happy n healthy thats my greatest achievement so be proud of yourself coz you deserve it

Rachel - posted on 08/21/2010

i have just turned 18.. on 1st august and my baby is now 3 months old... i get such dirty looks but tbh i feel that they r so judgemental because all they see is that i was 17 when i had my little boy. i love him to pieces.. i would do anything for him. i love him soo much... i got a tattoo of his name on thursday and people just stare.. but i couldnt care less anymore.. its great seeing people that are happy i had him ....

Courtney - posted on 08/21/2010

I have been reading all of these posts and i would like to say its pathetic how ppl judge your parenting skills because of your age.I got pregnant as soon as i turned 18, im 20 now and i have a 15 month old son.I dont remember any bad stares or comments but im sure i have also gotten plenty(i look my age ) and just didnt even notice and let me just say, i am a great mother!!

Elizabeth - posted on 08/21/2010

You need to let ppls ignorance amuse you if we all took ppls ignorance to heart we would all feel disrespected,You have to think about his age and thinking Im pretty sure he was older than you and his way of thinking is probably dating back into the stone ages dont think to much about it You have your babies best interest at heart Theres always going to be somebody who thinks differently about your life and thats just life Keep doing what your doing dont worry about those who talk about your situation they dont live it you do so just brush it off

Ashley - posted on 08/20/2010

Definitely! but that doesn't make it right, I was 16 when I became pregnant with my son and 16 when I gave birth, a month later I turned 17. My son will be 3 next month, I'll be 20 in October and a week before my birthday I am two for my second precious angel!It doesn't matter what people think. The comments I find to be worse than those about my age are having to do with race. The looks and the comments while my older son and I were together were ridiculous, you would never believe what time period we're in. We are no longer together and I was a single mother until I met my boyfriend more than 18 months ago, hes spanish so I get similiar comments but not all the same. I'm italian and ironically enough puerto rican but you couldn't tell by looking at me,I know I'm right so I don't stress other people. I have bigger concerns and responsibilities!!

Nichole - posted on 08/20/2010

I had my son when I was 17 and I had the worst experience at the hospital where I gave birth to my children. I was treated like I was some stupid teen that couldn't keep her legs closed by this older nurse I had. She was very rude and snotty to me like I didn't know how to change a freakin diaper even tho I had babysat my niece and other friends kid for year. When I had him my blood pressure was kinda high so they wouldn't move me into the normal recovery room and when I was in this room they wouldn't let my hold my son because the med they had me on they said would make it so I couldn't hold him even tho I was layin in a bed un able to get up and had his dad with me by my side. But the nurse just acted like I was going to kill him and everything like that. Just the worst feeling in my life my newborn baby that I couldn't hold because they pretty much said I was going to drop him even tho I was in a bed. My boyfriends grandma believes in no sex or kids before marriage and she treated very rudely for the longest time, up until about 6 months ago, now she is not as bad but u can see it in her face when she comes up and visits.. Came from a small town as well, and everyone looked at me when I was pregnant like I was an illness they could catch. But I would never change anything Iove my children more than anything in the world and I think in the end we all become stonger by what stupid people say because we know we are the best we can be and always will be their for our children. But I can say I went to the same hospital to have my daughter about a year and a half after my son and had the same nurse who remembered me and everyone was so much nicer the second time around. Like the rude nurse was the sweetest thing to me and rubbed my back and everything. Execpt she told me my 1.5 yr old couldnt be in the room with me because I could only have 2 people and they considered him an adult... Made me cry because this was before I went into full labor having her come out of me. Just keep ur head up high and let them know what u feel about what they say. They can't really judge u anymore than they already have and if they dont like it they will leave! LOL.. How I look at alot of stuff now days! Keep strong everyone

Mary - posted on 08/20/2010

I'm 42, and I use to get that when I was having my kids too. And I was 25 when I had my first child. I can testify it's been going on for centuries. recently I was with my 22 yr old pregnant niece, she too got the "Oh my, another pregnant teen." stares. I'm not sure why strangers do that, but Yeah, tell them to quit being prejudiced (as in Pre-Judging). Tell them "Don't worry about me,I'm an Heiress to Wal-mart." LOL Wait till you have more than one, then you will get the 'Do you know what causes that" comment. I wish when I was younger I had the nerve to say something like, "Yeah I'm a Nimph and my Husband loves me that way." I wonder if they would quit butting in? Or maybe you can say something simple like " I'm pro-life" or like I like to say "I'm Pro-Choice, I'm Choosing to have children." I wish it was easy to just say ignore the idiots, but obviously, 17 yrs later, I can say it still bugs me. Therefore, I don't do that to others. On the other hand not everyone is staring at you because you look young. Some of us (me) love pregnant woman, they are so cute, so I find my self staring once in a while for that reason. You all are so darn cute. I also like to say"Just as the average 5 yr old loosed their first tooth, the average 20 yr old begins to starting their own family."

Laura - posted on 08/20/2010

I am glad that you stood up for yourself!,
i am 19 and my daughter is 8 months, i feel that where i live i am actually a old mum. most of them are 15!, i don't like going to melb because i constantly feel like im being judged!.
Although!! My baby is happy, happy and well cared for and i find thats all that matters, age is just a number!

Julie - posted on 08/19/2010

unfortunately people these days especialy the older generations are quick to judge and to pass judgement and comments and there is nothing we can do about it (not that many gags to go around). when i was 16 my sister was born and i used to take her out and people thought she was mine. i did put one lady straight and she accused me of disowning my own child. now that sister is grown with children of her own and people assume i am their grandmother. again i put them straight with no comments back. we should not have to justify our actions or children to anyone and no one should make us feel ashamed. ignore their comments get on with your family life and let the strangers do the worrying for you.

Krystal - posted on 08/18/2010

I think that people giving us dirty looks should encourage us to be the best mothers we can be whether we are single or in a relationship or married. They don't know our situations and when the have the guts to say something I vote we just nod politely and say "I'm glad you think you're opinion will change my life". They might not agree with our life decisions but that's why they are OUR life decisions not theirs. Let them criticize how they want. Just remember haters just mean that people notice you. I'd rather be hated in a world of stuck up non liberals than be ignored in a world of a million people in my situation. =]]

Delainie - posted on 08/18/2010

I do think it's important to stand up for yourself, and to not let anyone bully you, or make you feel ashamed. But I also think in doing so, we have to make sure to set them straight in a tasteful matter. I think being rude back will only futher perpetuate stereotypes.
As much as I would love to bite their heads off and cause a scene, I think it'd be counter-productive!

Lauren - posted on 08/18/2010

i had an elderly woman on a bus tap me on the shoulder and tell me i needed to "cover my breasts" (even tho they were, maybe i wasnt wearing a top up to my chin, but it wasnt as if my boobs were out there!) she also said that i need to respect myself as a young, unmarried mother, and set an example for all of the other young mums out there..
what really annoys me about it, was the fact that she doesnt know if im married or not, i actually have rings on my ring finger to stop people from judging.. and she thinkgs that just because im a younger mother, she thought that she could tell me how to dress..
ive been recieving looks and comments ever since i started showing and that was the last straw.. i told her exactly where to go.. and then she has the gall to say i have to respect her because she is elderly! HA!

Valerie - posted on 08/18/2010

dont let anyone put you down sweety....look i am 20 years old and i have 2 kids of my own...at that i am a single mom of 2 kids...so i know exactly how you feel i get looks all the time...and a girl i used to be friends with posted on facebook that she doesnt like teen moms and thinks they are too young and irresponsible....and i told her regardless of my age i am a great mom...my kids are fed, they have a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and are loved very very much...if you want to judge how great of a mom i am based on my age and not my actions then you are ignorant and need to open your eyes...needless to say i got an apology out of her. lol. chin up girl. we are strong.

Michelle - posted on 08/18/2010

i used to get so harrased at the stores that my bf of two years proposed and gave me a ring so they would stop. we have now been married for a year and a half and no one dares say anything

Angel - posted on 08/18/2010

I am 18 with a 11 month old. I get stares and comments all the time. But I don't let it bother me because I'm the better person who took this responsibility and is doing a fucking fantastic job. (:

Emma - posted on 08/18/2010

yea all the time :) im 23 with 2 children a 4yr old girl and a 2 1/2 yr old boy, im a single mother also, everyone that i meet say i look way too young to have 2 children and i do get looks, i havent had any comments to my face but some older people try to educate me on how to deal with situations and i allways say im their mam and mams know their kids the best, i also get a kick outta when ppl look over and then my daughter/ son say mammy loud enough and its priceless the look on there faces, lol, i also drive and have my own car, have a council house that is fully furnished, have worked before my 1st pregnancy and throughout it, went bk got pregnant again, had my son went bk, and ive only been outta work 18mths due to childcare and my seperation wid my ex, im due to get a job in the next 2 weeks, i fully provide for my kids they never go without, their dad dont pay support money/ or see them weekly, but i dont care im proud of who i am and who my kids are xx

Zatonda - posted on 08/18/2010

When I was a teen mother yeah people would make comments. I was a kid and reply as a child, as I got older and they find out the age difference between me and my daughter the look is a bit strange, but how you conduct your life after you have that child is what is most important. Of course your gonna already be labeled and it is not right, but prove to yourself and others your worth. I went to school, and got my life flowing and I can say I beat the odds. Don't allow statements to get you down let that be your gas to show them your so much more than a young mother. People use to ask me how old my little sister was and I would say my daughter is this old. oh boy the facial expression alone was enough. It's not the first or last time it may happen. Just reply kindly and move on, different generation think different, I can say when your child get older what is normal to them may not be normal to you then. A mature reaction is the best way to reply. Leave no question or reason for them to be right about their reaction.

Ali - posted on 08/18/2010

I think it is something that will happen to all of us at one point some more than others but to be honest they no nothing at all as women we have the right to have kids wether your 17 or 30 the law states (in england) that you are aloud to have sex at the age of 16 so we aren't breaking any laws the only thing we are effecting is peoples opinions which won't change. All i do is laugh as i know the truth and those arrogant people will never understand!

Kaylea - posted on 08/18/2010

yes! ppl in grocery stores malls etc think im not doing things right or judge im 21, single and i have been taking care of babies in my family and babysitting for over ten years i think i can handle it!

Dani Lyn - posted on 08/18/2010

i'm 18 and a good friend of mine is 22 and we both have 4 month olds. we went to target not too long ago and were sitting in the eating area feeding the babies and this older lady shook her head and mumbled "babies having babies". when she realized we heard her she asked us "did you girls plan this like that movie on lifetime?" it was so irritating.