family and friends treating you like your still a child?

Paige - posted on 08/31/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I'm feeling so frusterated with my boyfriends family, they are treating me like i dont know how to take care of a baby or child. I know i dont know everything, but im not their child to baby not that im a child/teenager im a mom now. i dont know how to deal with them anymore its driveing me nuts! any one else in the same boat?

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Jennifer - posted on 09/21/2009

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my inlaws adore me, i think its because they never thought they'd have grandkids cuz both their sons are pains in the ass lol and i don't have a problem telling people to F-off but my own family treated me like a child my mum was very dominating after i had my son and she wanted things done her way with him which didnt work with me or my sons temperment, i had to move out to get her stop and i did it on bad terms so my family wouldn't even speak to me for a while now shes realized that doing that to me was wrong and that shes missing out cuz i moved 2 hours away we have a good relationship now but it took time. But in regards to things you can and can't do while prego tell her your pregnant not dead!!!!!! I installed hardwood floor while 7 months pregnant so i think a walk isn't gonna hurt and refering to your child as her baby would irritate the crap outta me I'ld make some snarky comment about how you don't remeber her climbing on top of you to make the baby LOL good luck I wish you the best with your baby and the inlaws!

Tasha - posted on 09/21/2009

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I was so there! It is hard, when you are young and having your first child everyone thinks that they know better than you. Be patient. They all just want to share their expertise with you... remember garbage in garbage out. Be polite and thank them for their advice or tell them "you know, I read that recently" take in the advice you wish and ingore the rest. Best of luck to you!

Paige - posted on 09/21/2009

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thanks every one, im trying to just deal with things as they come up, think the ones that bother me the most are getting the idea and im learning they they are just trying to be involed and saying things out of love

Sam - posted on 09/21/2009

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YES! I get it a bit from both sides, not from everyone though only certain ppl. It will get easier if you just ignore them all, I had to learn to I wasnt dealing with everyone telling me how to raise my child so I started ignoring it. Dont be rude just smile and nod, eventualy they get the idea to shut up!

Chelle - posted on 09/11/2009

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yea....im 18 but my partner is 23...his mum seems to look down at me on every thing i do and choose for my daughter.

she really anoyd me the other day, i told her i was feeding my daughter 2 ounces of baby cereal and asked her if she could feed her that for lunch(she baby sat for the day)...when she gave me my daughter back she was crying with a tummy ache, i lookd in my baby bag and saw that she didnt feed her the cereal...she left a half eaten jar of baby food for older babys in ther! my poor little girl had the poops and a bad tummy all night....

i might be young but im her mum and i know whats best for her!

and i cant say anything to her because i dont want my partner geting upset by me because its his mum. xxx

Sophie - posted on 09/11/2009

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my boyfriends family is exactly the same and it does drive me nuts, i know for a fact that she doesnt feel as involved with my child as the rest of her grandchildren but still she puts me down second guesses me i dont mind her getting involved but she takes over and does things her way instead of mine and i cant exactly say anything without upsetting her. let me know if you find a solution because i could use the help too

Paige - posted on 09/02/2009

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after reading your comment i think that your right, she just wants to be involved. and i want to her be involved to, just as a grandma not the babys wet nurse.

as for how his family is treating me like a child... well this summer i spent some time with his family as a cabin and i was being told to go to sleep... i was being told what to eat and to eat more than i was. witch isnt so bad but his mom was telling me that i couldnt go on a walk with then cuz it was to far for me, and she told me i wasnt allowed to go swimming cuz i could drown and kill her baby probably. its these comments that make me never want to be around her and not want her to be around the baby when its born she is always hinting that it is hers.

Kayla - posted on 09/02/2009

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I think that's less of your age thing and more of an in-law thing. I think it's just that everybody has an opinion or knows the 'right way' to raise a child. I've had this problem a bit with my mother in law but I think she knows not to go there anymore. You just have to be firm and show them that it is not their place. They need to know that if you wanted advice or needed help that you will ask them.



It could also be something simple as them not feeling as involved with the baby. I know with me I want to do everything for my son, he is my first baby and I want to do everything right and didn't want people to help unless it was absolutely necessary. Now I try my best to take a step back and let others enjoy him too because he is a really great baby!



Maybe an example of a time you've felt like they were treating you as a child? That may help me to better understand it.

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