Feeling like I've ruined my life!!!

Heather - posted on 03/23/2010 ( 88 moms have responded )

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For the past couple weeks I've been really realy upset feeing like I've ruined my life and messed up really bad. I love my son to death and will do anything to keep him happy and healthy. But lately I feel like I screwed up for having him at 17. Like I'm going to mess up his life and like he will hate me for having him so young. I wont be able to go to his prom because of it. I can't work, I can't even attend highschool. I almost feel like regret having him. I don't want to feel this way. I feel like it's effecting me as a parent and I really don't want that.



The fact that I get put down for being a teen mom and constantly get dirty looks doesn't help either. I don't even like going out because of it. I also feel I've lost all my friends. I have tons of friends with kids bu none of them even want to do anything. I try planning things weeks ahead but then everyone backs out on me.



I guess I mostly just want to know if anyone else feels like they've ruined everything. Or am I just a bad mom for even thinking this? I really just don't know what to do at this point!!!

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Kassi - posted on 03/23/2010

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this is actually very normal its post pardum depression. i had it as well. u need to go see ur doctor and tell them what is going on and he will give u and antidepressent and u will start doing much better! also having a child was the best thing that ever happened to me and i think once u seek help u will think the same!



just think of it this way u can always get ur GED and once ur baby is old enough if u want to go to college u can. having a baby is not the end of the world. im starting college this summer and my son will almost be a year old. if u set ur mind on it u can do anything! hang it there!!!

Karie - posted on 03/29/2010

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I agree with Kassi, go see your dr and he will help you get on some medicine. I also had a daughter at 17. I still graduated from highschool. I worked a parttime job, and I am now going to college for nursing. my daughter is going to be 2 in april. It is possible to finish school or go to college as a mother if you put your mind to it!

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Mary - posted on 03/30/2010

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you didn't mess your life up.
im 15 and had a kid.
im still going to prom this year and i still live the same life.
if your friends aren't here for you now, they weren't there to begin with.
i feel like that sometimes but its also known as postpartum depression so be careful!
and don't let others put you down as long as your happy, it shouldn't matter what others think.

Rachel - posted on 03/30/2010

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postpartum depression trust me, I know what you are going through I think every mom does, you need to know if you are confident and secure in yourself your child will pick up on it.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/30/2010

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I'll have my Baby at 19--- Barely. That is, if she or he comes early, by less then a week from my due date. Being a young mom is nothing to be ashamed of. I would talk to someone about it. Maybe you don't want to be on medications, but that doesn't mean you can't get help.

Trust me, regret is something you don't want to live with. It's a terrible feeling. You must of had good reasons for keeping your precious baby, and you need to rekindle those feelings, and reasons. Just because someone thinks you can't do it, doesn't mean you can't. Plenty of women do better in worse situations. Hopefully, your family supports you, and so do your friends. Have you thought about trying to go to school online?

Get your GED, if you don't think you will be able to attend school, and then try to get job as a Medical Transcriptionist (spelling.). They work from home, and make their own hours. You can do it while your baby is napping, at night, or if you can get a friend/family member to take him once or twice a week.

That's another thing, You NEED to take time for yourself. Ask a parent, friend, or family member you trust to watch the baby for a few hours, while you take a nice bath, or go out and see a movie with an old friend. It helps. You'll feel better, and I am sure someone wants to spend time with that baby.

I hope this helps.

Emaah.

April - posted on 03/30/2010

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HI, I JUST BECAME A GRANDMOTHER, MY OLDEST DAUGHTER HAD A BABY BOY AT 17 ALSO. I LOVE HER TILL THIS DAY AND MY 5 MONTH OLD GRANDSON, HER FIANCE I STILL GOT TO GET TO KNOW HIM A LITTLE BETTER. SHE THINKS SHE RUINED HER LIFE, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHE GET BY REALLY GOOD, YES I ADMIT SHE THINKS SHE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE EITHER. BUT SHE IS GLAD TO HAVE HER SON AND SHE LOVES BEING A MOM, AND IF PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO DO THINGS, AND THEY HAVE KIDS, TRY MAKING A DAY FOR THE KIDS. MAKE A DAY WHERE THE KIDS GET TOGETHER AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER KIDS ARE GOING TO NEED FRIENDS ,SO WHY NOT START NOW. I HOPE THIS HELPS. CAUSE I KNOW HOW THINGS ARE SHE DIDN'T GRADUATE, AND SHE NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL. BUT SHE DOES PLAN ON MAKING SOMETHING OF HER LIFE IN THE FUTURE. WHEN HER SON GETS OLDER. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS I WOULD BE GLAD TO ANSWER THEM FOR YOU. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THINGS WILL GO BETTER THAN THEY HAVE.TTYL..HAVE A GREAT DAY !

Tanya - posted on 03/29/2010

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Your not a bad mom at all! Just take it one day at a time things will get better! Just try and get your Ged or some high school diploma and the try and go to college your dont have to rush into it just think when hes old enough to realize everything it all will be better for him just stay strong!

Rachelle - posted on 03/29/2010

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You're not a bad mom for thinking it at all. Parenthood especially at a young age is stressful!. I was 18 when I got pregnant and 19 when I had my daughter. Everyone copes with having a child differently. You really just have to brush of the negativity from others. As long as you love your child and take care of him, that's all that matters. You didn't ruin your life. You simply changed the course of it. It was hard for me at first to be a mother because I was young and felt like I was going to miss out on so much, but really I just get to experience the joys of being a mother so much sooner than most!

Cheyenne - posted on 03/29/2010

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You probably do have something along the lines of PPD... But trust me, you're not alone in the being a teen parent. Just because you had him at such a young age you're not ruining his life... It'll be hard but things like this make you stronger. Just remember you're not doing this alone.

Michelle - posted on 03/29/2010

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I know the feeling honey! It will get better! I had my daughter when I was 15. I am now 25 and she is 10. It is HARD! I lost touch with friends, missed out on my teenage years and the judgmental, dirt looks from people were almost too much to take. I cried a lot the first year or so. I also had those feelings. Looking back now I may have had post-pardom depression and the added stress from being a teenage mom does NOT help that. I'm not sure when you had your baby, but if it was recent please talk to your doctor. They might be able to help. Otherwise, surround yourself with supportive people. Friends, family, and your online friends too. Let yourself vent openly with someone you trust, that won't hold it against you or judge you. You have to let your feelings out or they will consume you! I wish I would/could have done that myself. Hang in there honey. When you feel those crushing feelings, try to remember that overwhelming love for your baby. It can help ease the pain. You can't change the past. Just move forward and live each day trying to better yourself and make a better life for the two of you. Don't forget to take time for yourself, too! Hope I could help. I've been there! Message me if you need to talk!

Chantelle - posted on 03/29/2010

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I felt like that. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my son. And had him when I was 17 I am not 19 years old. And yes it may seem like you ruined you're life but you really didn't. The way I look at things now is it was my time to grow up and take responsibility. I didn't finish highschool or anything but you can always find schools that are for young mom's who have kids and that are able to bring you're child to school with you and there are people there who will watch you're child for you while you are learning and doing you're schooling. & yes I have lost friends over getting pregnant and having a kid. But that just showed me that they never truly were my friends. & I have alot of friends who have babies and we hangout all the time. And find it is alot more fun to be able to hangout with people who understand me as much as I understand them rather then people who don't understand parent hood. I grew up alot when I had my son and it made me realize what is more important in life.

Ashley - posted on 03/29/2010

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take a break...every mom needs a break...i had my daughter @ 17 & every once in a blue moon u need a break 2 just relax.

Tiarna - posted on 03/29/2010

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hi im tiarna i had a chld at 17 to and felt he same ay so i ent to the docters they gave me advce on courses to go to with ur child an also sai i as deppresd so they gave me antideppresents and that helped to dont worry bout other people just think bout ur son ur a good mum and u ill get there x

Braina - posted on 03/29/2010

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Ok first off I'm sure your not a bad mom. I had my baby when i was 18 and I'm sure people say I'm too young to have a baby but i wouldn't give him up. i wasn't able to go to prom because of me having a baby. when people give you dirty looks just tell yourself that your a strong person and at least you gave your baby a life to live and did't go get an abortion like some teens would. with the friend thing, i would just go make new friends or hang out with people that want to. see i had my baby this year of janurary and baby is a little over 2 months. i felt this way when i first had my baby its really normal to fell this way my best advice would talk to your doctor about this. its because your in that 6 week post partum stage and its your hormones just coming back to normal so its normal to feel this way. if u need anymore advice just ask.

Tajrah - posted on 03/29/2010

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don't feel like that, all you have to do is find the strength to keep moving and show him just because your young you can do it to....make him proud of you.....he'll love you no matter what!

Shalah - posted on 03/29/2010

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Your not a bad mom. It is natural when we reflect on our choices to sometimes experience regret. You are just mourning your childhood. You are an adult now, like it or not. I was 19 when I had my daughter, she will be 17 this summer. It has been a long road but completely worth it. You will find the same , I am sure. Now you have a great reason to succeed. Whatever that means for you , only you can say. Do not worry about what other people think. Try to find other women in the same situation for support. All the best to you and your little one.

Josie - posted on 03/29/2010

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i had my son when i was 20 and i still finished school and i still work its hard but if u have a little help it goes a long way!

Amanda - posted on 03/29/2010

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hey there i had my baby at 19 and i was terrified and felt like u .. i think u need to see ur GP for th post partom depression dont worry its completely normal i think u r so brave for coming out with it and asking for advise it will get better xx good luck :)

Samantha - posted on 03/28/2010

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hey pull ya chin up dont eva think ur a bad mum ok i had my first bub at 17 to and yes i did and sum times still do feel ive missed out i no where ur cumin from i no how it feels its only now im reconecting with friends i lost im now 21 and have had a second i no the looks u r talking about to jus dont let them get to u if u want to keep studying there is always the option of distance education and sum unis do have daycare centres for people jus like u and if u want to conect with other mums try a play group good luck keep ya head up u r a great mum

Lynn - posted on 03/28/2010

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i know exactly how you feel, i felt like that after i had my son (who is now 2 & a half)
i had him when i was 16.
i feel like that now, i just had my 2nd child, she is 2 weeks told & i'm 19..
just post-partum depression.
just don't let it get to you too much, your son will pick up on your emotions
and get very fussy and make it harder for you to care for him, cause you'll be frustrated .
i been through it and it's not fun at all..
and the going out and trying to plan things, i know how that feels too, i'm going through it everyday.
and even with family, they bail on me too.
and school, i only have my grade 10.. i tried to go back when my son was 2 months, but he ended up really sick..and i dropped out when he was 5 months old & i want to go back, but i still don't feel ready, especially with having a 2 week old baby at home now.
good luck, hope you feel better. ♥

Randi-Marie - posted on 03/28/2010

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Hi Heather! I agree with all the moms responses on here. I myself had my daughter when I was 19. Luckily I had graduated 2 years early from high school but I had no family and the biological father of my daughter left me. I was high risk during my pregnancy and was unable to work. After I had my beautiful daughter I was homeless for almost a year. Times were really hard and I must say that there were times when I felt as if I was the worst mother in the world. I had my parents threating to take my daughter away but here is the thing, as long as you do your best for your child there is no one in the world that can tell you that you are a bad parent. My daughter is now going on two and I must say that she saved my life. I am now enrolled in college online for marketing. I am now married to an amazing man who loves both my daughter and I. She knows him as "dada" and my daughter couldnt be happier.
Hun, you really cant worry about what others think because half of the people that are looking down on you were probably in the same position as you are today. I think that you just need to go pick up your baby boy and tell him you love him and then tell yourself the same.
I know that you are scared and have no idea what to do, but when you feel yourself getting down just take a deep breath and say to yourself that you can do it!!! My aunt was a single mother of 6 girls!!! I told myself that if she can make it then so can I!!!
I will be praying for you and your son!!!! Keep your head up girl you will be just fine!!!

Kat - posted on 03/28/2010

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Your not bad at all. I had my first at 16 and second at 19. But why aren't you in school and can't work? I stayed in school and graduated and so did alot of my friends who were teen parents. In RI the state pays for child care if you go to school. Idk where you live but might be something to look into?



And don't worry, have you gotten checked for PPD? Thats what caused me to think like that. Sadly in my case meds and counciling dont work so I kinda deal with it but doesn't mean you shouldn't try.



Good luck.

Jessica - posted on 03/28/2010

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No your not the only mom that has felt like that I once felt like that but if you look at it in a positive way your friends aren't always there but your child would be. I think that all young moms go through this cause that's when reality really hits you.So just remain patient and in due time things will seem like they are getting easier.

Brittany - posted on 03/28/2010

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i had my son at 18 and even tho i managed to graduate high school it has still been a struggle. a year after i graduated i got married and 9 months later we had our daughter. my parents wont even recognize the fact that im married and for awhile my husbands family tried to split us up. my sister in law still tries to get rid of me to this day and we jst celebrated our first wedding anniversary. my point is that being a teen mom is hard. being a parent in general no matter wat age u r is difficult and being younger makes it even harder. but jst because u were young doesnt mean ur a bad mother. u may have to work harder than someone who had their child when they were older but u can provide for that child jst as well and teach him jst as well as that older mother. and as for the dirty looks? get used to them! there is always gonna be someone to judge u and tell u that u were wrong but their not in ur shoes and they have no idea wat ur life is like. where do u live btw? my son is a little over a yr and my daughter is 3 months. were always looking for a play date!

Emily - posted on 03/28/2010

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I had the same feeling and it could be PND as I was diagnosed with this. Hope you feel better soon.. visit your GP. I was prescribed antidepressents but didn't take them as I feel better now, still have down days but want to try and get better first without the pills and see how I feel.
Its nothing to be ashamed of and you are not a bad mum because of it, it is an illness and its probably a shock to your system having a baby especially if it was not planned and you had a different life before.. Life has changed and you need to start to learn to accept it and think of the good things in it
xx

Katie - posted on 03/28/2010

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Post Partum depression, dear. This happened to me for a little while as well. You should talk to your doctor.

SAMMANTHA - posted on 03/28/2010

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DONT EVER THINK THAT UR A BAD MOM BC U HAD UR SON AT A YOUNG AGE. I WAS THE SAME WAY. I HAD MY SON AT AGE 18 BUT GOT PREGOS AT AGE 17. YOUR SON WNT HATE U BC U HAD HIM AT A YOUNG AGE, NOW AGE IS NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER, IF U CAN SUPPORT HIM LOVE HIM AND JUST MAKE HIM HAPPY THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. HIGHSCHOOL IS HARD I HAD TO STOP FOR A WHOLE YEAR BEFORE I GRADUATED,. AFTER I HAD MY SON I KNEW THAT I WANTED TO GRADUATE TO GET A JOB (YET I STILL DNT HVE ONE YET) AND SUPPORT MY SON I WANTED A BETTER LIFE FOR HIM DEN I DID, I WANT TO SHOW HIM BETTER AND NOT SCREW UP LIKE I DID IN SCHOOL. IF U REALLY WANT TO GRADUATE FROM HIGHSCHOOL GO TLK TO A CONSULOR AND TELL THEM THAT IS WAT U WANT AND ULL DO WATEVER U NEED IT. IDK HOW UR SCHOOL IS BUT IF U CAN TAKE PACK-ITS HOME OR ONLINE CLASSES EVEN GOIN AFTER SCHOOL FOR A WHILE TO A CLASS IT'LL HELP!
BUT LIKE I SAID DNT EVER THINK UR A BAD MOM! I THOUGHT THAT FOR AWHILE BC MY SON WAS BRN 3 MNTHS EARLY N I ALMOST LOST HIM SO MANY TIMES! N I THOUGHT I DIDNT EAT ENUF OR STAY HEALTHY WHILE HE WAS COOKIN IN ME LOL BUT YET IT HAD NOTHIN TO DO WITH ME AT ALL. SO THAT WAS A HUGE RELIFE!

HEY IF U NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO IM HERE JUST EMAIL ME N ILL EMAIL U BACK!

Melissa - posted on 03/28/2010

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I've been there and it will pass. You might see your doc about postpartum depression. Some anti-depressants might help. I had my son when I was 16 and felt completely lost for several months. I thought there was no way I could be a good mom. He is now 13 and him and his 2 brothers are the best thing in my life.

Nicola - posted on 03/28/2010

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Yes it sounds like you may have serious post natal depression, my friend got like this and was diagnosed with manic post natal depression but straight after that she was given some medication (some herbal and some drugs) and councilling and within a month she was sooo much better and within 2 months she had completely recovered and didn't need to take anything anymore.
I would highely recommend letting your GP, midwife or child nurse know how your feeling so for your sake and your sons things can get better.

Also your not a stuff up at all and you haven't ruined your life!

I got pregnant with my son when I was 16, got married to my fiance when I was 6 1/2 months pregnant and had my son when I was 17, I'm now 19 going on 20.
My husband (fiance at the time) at the time when I fell pregnant had no job, had just started a cert in science level 4 and had some serious adictions to alchol and drugs (dope and meth) and was 18... When Daniel (our son) was born joseph had sorted out his adictions the moment he found out I was pregnant and was starting his degree in Bussiness double major in IS&T and accounting... Now he is on his 3rd year of his degree (will finish the end of next year), is doing a great job as a father and is 21.
When I found out I was pregnant I was 16 and already out of school didn't have a job nor a courier I wanted to aim towards... When Daniel was born was the best day of my life and while I was in labour I chose in my mind the carrier path I wanted to follow...Daniel is 2 years old now, I'm 19 and just started (a couple of months ago) a cert in health sciences level 3 and this will give me entry into the degree in midwifery next year.
We do live on the student allowence which is a struggle to live on sometimes but where happy and although we have a son we are still able to futher our education (although we both left highschool at 16) and succeed in life. A child is not the end of the road its just a fork in the path and as time goes on you'll feel no different to any other mother even those who are 10 years your senior.
Good luck for the future!, I know times get tough but trust me its worth it!

Renee - posted on 03/28/2010

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I dont think your a bad mum for saying this, but you should enjoy what you have try not to feel the way you do or see a doctor to see if you can recieve help, I am nearly 18 i had my daughter 15 days after my 17th birthday and when i was preg older people used to give me dirty looks and i was the same i didnt want to go out and it really hurt but since ive had her im so proud of what i have that i dont care what people think and if anyone looks down on me now ill ask them what their problem is, you just have to think of it this way you have a beautiful child that you love and care for and if people want to be childish and look down on you then let them get on with it there pathetic and not worth worrying about you will be able to do things in life its not the end and im sure your child wont hate you when he's older if anything it'll be better you will be able to do things together rather than being to old or having no energy to go out im sure your a good mum my advice would be to concerntrate on the happy times in life that you can have with your child good luck and dont let people bother you, sorry its very long lol x

Babette - posted on 03/28/2010

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hi my name is babette i am 17 and i got pregnant wit my son elie at 15 i understand how u are feeling but just cuz u had him young dosent mean ur a bad person or parent everyone makes mistakes but that child is not a mistake its a blessing my son changed my life and i have felt this way befor my advides is that i think u should get some time away and do something on ur own like go out it helps

Rhonda - posted on 03/28/2010

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I had my oldest daughter at 17 and she is the best thing in my life. I am 21 now and I had another little girl when I was 20. I started having the same feelings you have after my second daughter was born. I also got married at 19 so that didn't help much. I sometimes get down because I feel like I jumped into something that I can never get out of. Don't get me wrong I love my daughters and my husband a lot. I would do anything for them. But I never got to be a teenager and it gets me down sometimes but than I look at my beautiful daughters and all my anxiety goes away.

Teharra - posted on 03/28/2010

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i felt like that for a while too but i got over it....for me anti deppressants werent the best idea because i was breast feeding but i had a great support system to help me i had my parents husband and brothers/sis inlaws to help me so if you can find a solid support system you will be just fine. i was also seventeen when i had my daughter and im now 18 and pregnant again with another little girl and i dont have many friends but im ok with that i know my responsibilities and i keep my head high. i dont care what any one has to say about me because my daughter dawna is the best thing that happened to me and the baby girl im carrying now is gonna add to my happiness....i dont have my GED and i still have a job working as a waitress its not the end of your life its just the beginning try to get assistance with daycare and look for a job that will give you time away and also help you with money.

hope you feel better =)

Faith - posted on 03/28/2010

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i know, a lot of mothers don't like hearing post postpartum depression. its very common, especially if you have a history of depression. I had the "baby blues" and then it turned into postpartum depression. It was horrible, but once on the medications it will help. It may take up to a month to get to feeling back to yourself though. Just be patient, and try to talk. They have a group on here for PPD. if you'd like i can send you the exact name of it. I don't have many friends either, becuase they don't have children. I try my best not to let it affect me or they way i care for my child (soon to be 2). Just do what is best for you, and your child. Remember that your child is more important than a friend who don't want to give you the time or day. Its there loss, not yours. Keep your head up.
BTW ill be 21 in june. but you can message me if youd like to talk.

Lisa - posted on 03/27/2010

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Is there a young moms group in your area that you can join? We all have regrets as parents....stay strong and don't give up. I got dirty looks when i was first pregnant and i was 23. Now my 17 year old is having a baby of her own and when we go out she holds her head high. You are not the first person to find yourself in this situation and will not be the last. I know that is is tough. Do you have any family supports at all? Try a parenting class or playgroup? After i had my first child i moved to a new city and i joined a support group for young moms and that is where i made friends and i still have some of those friends today. I hold you in my thoughts.....it will get better.

Michelle - posted on 03/27/2010

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look i got pregnant at 16 and had my son at 17 i had plenty of support. and the one thing i learned is that people r going to stare but u shouldnt care because its too late to change it not to be rude but its the truth. honestly i have plenty of friends that have kids but their still in school they work and they still go out. sorry to say this but those aren't true friends if all they do is ail on u at the last minute.can i ask u a question? why dont u go to school ur education is important and u can still get a job dont let anyone get u down things happpen for a reason. and im pretty sure ur a great mom keep that in mind and good luck trust me it gets easier

Virginia - posted on 03/27/2010

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I am 36 yr old mom, i had my first son when i was 16, i have 3 boys now my oldest is 19 and middle one is 16 and my youngest is 11, don't feel bad about yourself i know how you feel like the world is coming down on you, you have to do is think positive and take care of your son and yourself no one is more important than you are right now, i still get looks like how old are you? for having a son that age and they are like really confusing to me cause, sometimes i wonder if maybe what would have happened if i gave him or not have had him, but now i look at him he's graduated high school he is in the army, he is a good kid growing up and i couldn't have asked for a more good child, i look back at my past and wonder, but it was all worth it missing high school or watching him walk for the first time and saying momma for the first time you will always treasure those with your child, and for your friends you are now finding out who are your true friends now, and the ones who will be with you on the long haul. peace be with you and your son have faith it will all work out in the end.

Dawn - posted on 03/27/2010

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i rnt a teen now, lol..i am 34 but i ad my 1st son when i wa 16..a long time ago now..i found it very hard at times, fell out wi friends n family just 2 prove i cud make a "happy family". my partner at the time was abusive..lasted 10 yrs..but i stuck it out 4 yrs. now when i luk bk i am proud ov myself 4 getting thru it and i am even prouder when i luk at my 18yr old son and see how well i did in bringing him up..we r like best friends, no 1 ever thought i cud cope..but i did n i sure dont regret it. ur real friends n family will b there no matter wot..u learn thru mistakes n choices in life...it makes u the person u r 2day..b proud ov urself, keep smiling.. u will b fine. xx

Natalie - posted on 03/27/2010

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I had my daughter at 15, trust me your not letting anyone down! Go to ur go x

Rebekah - posted on 03/27/2010

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honestly, i am a mother at 17 also. i understand where you are coming from, i know it hurts to lose your friends. an idea for schooling would be alternative high schools, or online classes. im doing classes online, and going to an alternative school next year. they have a daycare, and very flexable schedules. check it out:) because you are so young, people will stare. i deal with it everyday. none of my so called "friends" come to visit me, and i dont get to do much. but i have a baby girl. she is mine, nobody can take that bond from me. you have to choose to be a good mother. maybe not financially, but show him all the love you can. i was raised on the streets, in the trailer park. my mom was abusive, and my dad was a drug addict. they were never married. i feel inadequite, but im getting married august 8th, and im making the most of our lives. you can do it girl. i know im doing a hell of alot better then my parents did, and that is a step up from where i could be. your life isn't over honey, it has just begun. children are gods greatest gift

Kia - posted on 03/27/2010

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i fell pregnant at 15 & had my daughter at 16 i am now 17 & she turns 1 tomorrow! though ive never felt as if i ruined my life, sometimes i'll get looks to but iits all about your confidence if you feel your a good mother it wont bother you :] im still in highschool & plan to go to college & everything & im doing it all on my own. her father & i are still together but he isnt around much at all because of his job. things get hard sometimes, & your son will love you because of all the thigns you sacrificed to make his life better, you should see a doctor though about PPD, i hope things get better for you :]

Renee - posted on 03/27/2010

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Hey Heather,

One thing you have to do is remember some women need to talk to their doctor about what your feeling ok.. than I want you to remember that everyone makes mistakes in their life but, you can fix them...
You love your child and you also have to love yourself............. No matter what others my think of you brush them off and move on, you can do alot of great things still even thou, you had a child.. Don't let no one hurt your self esteem..
You can work, you can go back to school.., you can do what ever you like..you can have a life... Just because your young don't mean you can't do anything. GET on your feet and start a life for you and your child.. NO MATTER WhAT PEOPLE SAY YOU CAN DO IT!!

Brittany - posted on 03/27/2010

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i didnt have that. but i do have depression period. and i refuse to take meds for it. Im affraid of the weight gain. But im gonna be 19 next month, and my sons gonna be 18 months. and there are some days still that i feel like a bad mother. and i get depressed. i think its natural, just try your best to ignore the haters. We've all got them sweetie. ive blew up on many of them, i was kinda embarrassed after, but i have a bad temper. and it ended up getting to me. But things will get better, you brought an amazing life into the world. And he will never hate you for that, you're doing the best you can, and if it wasnt for you, he wouldnt be here today. Its not gonna be easy, but its all worth it. If you need any advice, im here. i may be a tad bit older than you. but i also had my son when i was 17. So i know how you feel.



You certainly arent a bad mother. Just do your best & keep your head up girl.

Angel - posted on 03/26/2010

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non its all right i had my son @ 19 i got alot of talk because of it but all u need 2 do is the best u can be no 1 can be perfect. i finished school and im a single mom living off of welfare and its really hard but i hold on. and u r not a bad mom for thinkin wot u r thinkin. i thought that 2 but then i look at my son and all my problems go away. just hold on

Kristen - posted on 03/26/2010

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it sounds like you could have PPD. every once in a while I feel like I've messed up. but overall I think it's worth it. But if this is something that keeps bothering you non stop, you should talk to your doctor about it. Idk if the dad is still in the picture or not, if he is, try talking to him and maybe a family member you feel comfortable with or something. I know it's rough being such a young parent, and it's just starting for me. but if it is PPD you don't want to just let it go. Good luck! I hope it gets better for you soon! feel free to hit me up if you wanna talk.

Bonnie - posted on 03/26/2010

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it doesnt mean you are a bad mum. dont worry about how others see you...all that matters is that you love your son and want whats best for him. after i had my baby i cryed alot because i didnt think i was doing anything right and it really affected me. but i soon learnt it was very common for a mum to feel like it. my advice go talk to your doctor they can help you.

[deleted account]

You are definatley not a bad mom what so ever. Being a teen mom can sure be frustrating. Some of those people will put you down becuase of jeleousy, they could be afraid of you for the fact that you were brave enough to become a teen mom (whatever your circumstance was at the time, you chose the right thing to keep your baby) For the fact that you did decide to keep your baby shows that you are strong willed, brave, and have a good heart. Ignore those other people, if they think they are too good for you, than it is their loss. Your son will not hold that against you. If anything, he will respect you for not giving him up. You will have more energy to be with him because you are young. Keep faith in yourself!
And another thing people have to realize is that back in the day, thats what women did, they started having babies young, becuase they were strong willed, healthy and had a lot of energy. So to those people that judge you badly, screw them for not being supportive.

Genevieve - posted on 03/26/2010

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It shouldn't ruin your relationship with your possible soon to be mother in law (if I read your last post right). Every mom goes through a bout of baby blues, and she should know that since she's had children. I know I had it with my son, and probably will have it again after I have my daughter. It's important for your health and for the health of your son to be seen to make sure it's not something more severe. Especially since you don't want your son to grow up with a mom like that. I had bad depression through high school and after I had my son I wanted to make sure my baby blues didn't turn into something worse because I didn't want to be that kind of a mother for my son. Your MIL should definetly understand if you sit down and explain to her that your going through some baby blues, you'd like to see a dr to make sure it doesn't get any worse and you hope she doesn't think any worse of you for feeling that way. If you have such a close relationship, just talk to her. She'll understand. :) Good Luck

Allana - posted on 03/26/2010

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i get that feeling very often actually i think it hits the hardest when my friends without babies are telling me about a party they are going to or doing things i used to do when i was allowed to be reckless. i love my son though and knowing him i dont think i could go back an change a thing i mean sometimes i wish i was older so i was out of the adolescence stage of life on my own terms instead of being pushed out of it
but i don't really see much of my friends anymore even the ones who do have babies cause we all have different schedules and i don't like hanging out alone in the town i live near because some ppl give you dirty and the ones that don't are thinking it with a fake smile plastered on there faces
dont care about what other ppl think though because they dont matter it only matters how you feel about yourself and your decision to have him
i think this feeling is normal for young moms,
just hang in there and everything will work out for the best :D

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