Guilt kicks in!!!

Chloe - posted on 04/26/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 10 months old and i've been out with my friends twice since i had him. Both times were at night and both times were the only time i've ever left him longer than an hour. He was with my mum so i new he was safe but both times i left early because i felt so guilty for leaving him alone, kinda like i was a bad mother. i'd go home and see him sleeping and mum would say how he was upset i wasnt there and i would just lay next to him and cry! I couldn't believe i'd left him! i felt so bad! i know im a good mum but i just felt so guilty! has anyone else ever done or felt the same???

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Christina - posted on 04/28/2009

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Honey, you need your time too. Just remember, you can't be there "totally" for your child unless you are there for yourself first. Being a Mother is “thee” hardest, tiring, stressful job that last 24 hours 7 days a week for rest of your life! You are there for your child needs, but no one is going to be there for your needs. You have to be there for yourself or you will end up more stressed, frigid, and resentful in the long run. Going out with the girls from time to time is fine; just remember there are other things you can do to get the same satisfaction. I had my daughter at 15years old, I went clubbing a lot. As I got older I realized there are other things I could do other then party it up. (note: I still have a girls night out 1-2 time a year). For example: get a pedicure with your best girls, plan a day get away and drive somewhere, get a MAC make over, plan one day a week to meet a girlfriend at the gym)

Yes, we all feel guilt when we leave our children for any length of time. But remember “when we address our own needs, we become happier parents”…

Laura - posted on 04/28/2009

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I have. In December we were visiting my dad and grandparents for Christmas. My daughters birthday was the day after and our wedding anniversary was the 29th. My grandma said she would watch the kids for an entire night so that we could go out and celebrate and have some time to ourselves. After we had been at the hotel for about 10min I started balling my eyes out because I missed them so much. I felt so horrible, but I also know that if I didn't get some time away with my husband like that it wouldn't be good for any of us. Sometimes you need to spend some time out by yourself/with friends. You're not a bad mom. You are definitely a good mom all of us good moms feel that way. That's how we are. So don't worry too much. When you go out every once in a while that's actually a good thing because it gives you the chance to regroup and it gives baby a chance to learn independence even though when you get home you kind of wish they hadn't learned it. LOL But that's just part of being a mom, and yes sometimes is sucks but in the end you love your baby even more. And when you actually think about it it's true. My dad always tells me that absence makes the heart grow fonder and since I've been married and had kids I realize he's right.

Kim - posted on 04/26/2009

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This will pass. Create a healthy balance. You can't make your children your life. You need time out and they need time away from you as long as you have left them with someone who loves them as much as you do. I was fortunate. my parents and family loved my children and when I was at work or "out" I missed them but I felt comfortable knowing they were well taken care of. Don't worry when they get older they won't worry about leaving you. lol

Elyse - posted on 04/26/2009

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I definitely feel the same way.

I have a 3 year old and 9 month old and I hate leaving them! I always end up going home early b/c I feel horrible that I have left them. Especially when we go out for dinner I feel like they can come too, but I know we need our time. I think it gets easier as they get older, like when my son was 2 before I got pregnant again I satretd to get used to leavign him at Grandmas the once in a while that we did go out, and he was fine, but now with having a second and she is only 9 months old I feel like I need to be with her ALL the time. But don't feel alone when u feel guilty I am sure there are many moms liek su out there! :)

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