having 2 different fathers for your two children...what do u think?

Anastasia - posted on 12/30/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

14

10

0

Okay, so I had my first when I was 16, he is now 4 and will start school soon. I am 21 and my boyfriend now and I have been dating (seriously dating) for 2 years. He has no children, but keeps hinting to me that it would be to have a baby born right after our wedding ceremony. Have a wedding planeed out for September, and than have a baby ya know? But I still have feelings for Tims dad, and he with me. We both only have one child...everytime we see each other it feels the way it did back when we were kids again. So what do you think about having a child with a different father? I do have baby fever, I completely take care of myself and my child..have my own house, car, pay my own bills, I mean tim's dad helps out but he lives 4hrs away, we just recently moved ( me andtim) to PA for a job that required me to move. So what do you think? Wait it out, see if maybe a couple years things change for me and my bf, or go ahead and let the past be the past? Will it be too confusing for my son to have another bro/or sis with some1 other than his daddy he loves so much? I was always totally against having my bf move in with me i never wanted another man around tim, at least not now, he's so young. what are your opinions, advice, comments, and do you have two different childs fathers?

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

4 Comments

View replies by

Chrissy - posted on 12/31/2009

7

10

0

If you guys are making the commitment to get married then, yeah, I'd say yes- go for it. I mean you're gonna marry this guy right? So you DO need to let the past be the past with your son's father. It's kind of been over with your ex. You're over him- you've been dating another guy for 2 years! Your son must have some relationship with this new boyfriend of yours, so I don't think it'll be confusing... I think he would be excited at his age. You're financially stable and ready to make a commitment... yeah, I'd say you're in a good place. Marry this guy and get busy if that's what you want. The only comment I have is that this time, wait until you get married... you don't want three kids with three different fathers... And that is not to sound like I'm accusing you of anything or being judgmental at all- it's just exactly what I say to myself. "Be sure next time..."

Laurel - posted on 12/31/2009

53

19

4

Honestly, it sounds like you're not over the father of your child, which means you should not be starting the wedding planning, let alone thinking about kids, with your boyfriend. I watch friends go back and forth with this, and I think a number of them make the poor decision to PROVE that they are over their past, which may or may not be the case. Don't bring in a new life when you haven't sorted out your emotional baggage. I'm sorry if I'm over steping my bounds, but I wanted to give you honest advice

Jade - posted on 12/31/2009

29

28

0

i personally dont have two children, b ut i know plenty of people that do have 2+children to different men and its not always a bad thing, i know one that did so something that i personally think is wrong she has a 1 year old and a 2 year old and both are to different men which isnt a bad thing but she was teaching her 2 year old that the one year olds father was his father to, when the 2 yo still saw his actual father quite reguarly and was expecting another child to another women also this sounds a bit confusing i know but they worked out the diffrences and now they al know who their father are and brothers and sisters

September - posted on 12/30/2009

5,233

15

688

Being that you still have feelings for your first child's father I'm not sure that bringing another child into the mix would be the smartest thing to do. Why are you considering getting married when you still have feelings for another man? You still seem a bit confused about where you want to be. I'd give that some thought before you make the choice to have another child.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms