HELP please need some hubby advice

Chelbie - posted on 08/06/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Me and my husband arent doing that great at all! The past week has been to be honest HORRIBLE things were great he never yelled at me or anything he helped me out with stuff he was respectful and it was great. we got into a fight cuz i left my sleeping daughter with a 15 yr old for a few mins the other night while i went to the store a block away after i said i dint want to do that (roommate was drunk and her 11yr old sister wanted to get some food so i took her) i was gone 15 mins. so he hated my guts and i slept in the living room that night and then the next day i found a text message from the night before to a girl he used to work with who now works with him and he called her sexy so i got pissed he said sorry and we had world war 3 but we let it go or so i thought. Well then all of the sudden he changed hes snapping and yelling at me and hes blaming me for absolutly everything even if it aint my fault hes so defesive and angry hes emotional and says that i hate him and he dont no why. My natural reaction is to be mean back of course i dont no what to do im not just going to give in to him cuz that aint me i dont take orders and bow down at all im used to wearing the pants if you no what i mean what i say goes. But he just wont do anything i ask hes just being plain MEAN making me feel like im not good enough and cant do anything right and i feel like shit. I need some advice on what to do and how to get us back to the way it was. We cant afford to go on a date or get a babysitter and its harder cuz he works 12 hour days and he works the closing shifts so he dont get home till like 2 am. Can anyone help me?

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Samiya - posted on 08/06/2010

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IDK. I kinda know what your goin thru, and im not tryin to fill your head with thoughts, but i've gone thru what your goin thru. while i was about 7 months pregnant, around Valentine's day, i found out that my boyfriend/father of my babygirl was talkin to another girl, about having sex and tellin her how he loved her and things that still make me cry when i think about it. we were just like how you describe you and your husband bein. we were almost perfect. and then i noticed he started actin weird. he started wanting nothing really to do with me, he didnt hug me and kiss me all the time,barely ever. he was always rude to me startin fights sayin i was talkin to other guys and that i didnt love him. it was kinda like he wanted me to break up with him. after about 2 weeks i finally found out he was talkin to another girl and i freaked out. i told him i was leavin, and he was gonna be able to take our daughter from me when she was born. then i guess he realized he was about to lose everything over one girl...for a little while. then i seen he was talkin to another girl and i waited for him to go to sleep when i tried to leave. that was the last time. and he hasnt treated me bad since. I think the rudeness and them bein mean is a guilty conscience. im not sayin your husband is talkin to another girl, but you said you seen a text, so it may be a possibility...? and im very sorry if he is, cause i know all the pain you feel, but just know that if you guys can get thru whatever is happenin, it will still be hard to forget but if you forgive, you guys will become happy again. probably not as much as at first, but it'll be better.

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Gillian - posted on 08/07/2010

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I am so sorry you are having a bad time at the mo.
You said that every time you try and talk it comes out wrong... so maybe you can write a letter... give it to him or read from it. I really hope you can get things sorted

Chelbie - posted on 08/06/2010

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ya we went through what you have before as well last year we had that problem i dont think he would ever cheat on me again it literally almost killed him after awhile he got extreamly sick and had to come clean after i found texts and he ended up in the hospital cuz what he did to me made him that sick to his stomach. He still kisses me and stuff but idk what to think about him calling another girl sexy. He tried saying that it was her nick name but that bull. And then he just threw the fact that i left my daughter with a 15 yr old in my face like what i did was worse there for i had no reason to be mad. Im very sorry that you had to go through that i was such a reck when we did if you ever just want to vent you can talk to me im a good listener and i can try to help. I just think that we got passed all that. I dont no ill trry to talk to him but hell prolly just turn it around on me again saying im the problem. When i try to talk it never goes well? I guess i never word stuff right or just really dont have reason to be mad no matter how much i think i do. Thanks for the input ive thought of this possiblity...and it kills me to imagin it. Hell prolly say that i have the guilty conscience cuz its in my head then that will be the end of the conversation and well get no where cuz i dont take that bullshit anymore lol

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