How to tell my parents

April - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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For those of you who don't know, I just found out that I am pregnant due in May. Me and my fiance are not married yet. I have another child, not with my fiance, but me and her father weren't married at the time. My parents were furious when I told them about my first child. Mainly it was because I was not married but there were several other reasons they did not approve. The father was a child and still is. He did not treat me right, actually he abused me physically while I was pregnant. My parents hated him from the start of our 6 year relationship. My current man is totally different. He treats me and my daughter good. He treats her like she is his own. The only bad thing about him is that he doesn't have a job right now. He is looking but with this economy, it is hard. He has a few prospects but nothing set in stone. I have a job but my boss isn't making much money so he can't pay me every week. I am also looking for another job. I would just like to know if any of you have any suggestions on how I should tell my parents about the new baby. I know they are going to be a little mad, there is no getting around that, but I would like it to go as smoothly as possible. Thanks for your help in advance.

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April - posted on 11/05/2009

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Thanks for all your help ladies. I was thinking that I should wait until after Thanksgiving. My daughter's birthday is Dec. 4th and we are having her party on the 5th. I figured this would be a great time to tell my mom since we will be in a public place and she won't be able to kill me without witnesses. Haha, just kidding. I am very scared of her though, that's why I let my parents know with my first child over the phone. I will be almost 16 weeks by then and even with wearing baggy clothes I will more than likely be showing so might as well tell her during something happy right? Let me know if you think this is a good idea or not.

Sinead - posted on 11/01/2009

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it might make it easyer if you do it face to face and take a scan picture with you and just remind them that you are engaged and your happy with your fiance. Just remember it is about you and your fiance bring a new life into the world not about what your parents think

Victoria - posted on 11/01/2009

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i cant really give you any advice on this one. when i first found out i was pregnant i made plans to move out when my mom was asleep. my mom wouldnt approve at all. i was scared to tell her cause for one i was 18 and still in high school. and my mom thought i was still a virgin. but my brother told my mom that i was moving out and she asked why and i said because i want to. and she was like what are you having a baby. and i told her yes and she was shocked and ashamed, but all she could say was i love you.

Sammy - posted on 11/01/2009

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Do not tell your parents over text message. as that just shows how unmature someone is. You be a responsible person, you sit your parents down and you just tell them that another little somebody into the world. im sure they will be understanding, if they do not take to the situation straight away then give them time to calm down and maybe in a 3weeks or a month or even 2 months they may have come round to the idea.

Good Luck..x

Angela - posted on 10/21/2009

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first of all...congrats on your new baby best wishes and luck.....i understand how you feel about telling your parents you don't want to but you have to. you are gonna be showing soon and won't be able to hide that you're pregnant...i know bc of the last talk yall had you might not want to tell them but look you got a GREAT man from what you say that takes care of you and your baby girl and are engaged. if yall love one another and want to bring that baby into this world to be a family then do it. you should have told your' parents after you told your man. i wish i could give you advice or tell you what you should say or tell them but i think the situtation might be different now. They might not react like they did the first time...i know when i got pregnant with my first child my mom wasn't that happy at first but as weeks passed by it didn't really matter that much. and bc your man doesn't have the best job in the world doens't mean nothing....at least he has a job and he is willing to take care of you, your daughter and soon to be child that's what matter. i think you and your man should just go on ahead and tell your parents if they okay with it then thats goood but if they're not oh well move on they learn to accept it sooner or later.

Cassy - posted on 10/21/2009

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tell em straight outt ur preggo, if they got a prob stuff em u could b in a way worse position lol, my mums loves my son, i had him just after i turned 18 to my bf who ive been wit for 4 yrs now, he broke my nose when i was 4mnths pregnant, and used to abuse the hell outta me, yet my mum forgave him when i did n allowed us to move in with her after we had our bub, n now he's in jail again lol, ur parents should b proud of u n support u

Donivia - posted on 10/20/2009

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Trust me.. that is something you just can't avoid telling em. You need to let them know soon, so that way they don't think that you are trying to hide it. Just be strong and know in your heart that you are going to love this baby and no matter what they are going to love your new baby as much as you do.

My parents are preachers and when i told them they flipped out on me.. But they eventually got over it and now they LOVE Camrin so much.. It just takes time to let it soak in.

September - posted on 10/20/2009

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Just tell them. You are an adult and you made the adult choice to have a baby. Even if they are a bit upset it was your choice to have another little one. Maybe start with the parent that is more understanding...maybe your Mom? Good luck!!

April - posted on 10/20/2009

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Well, that would be neither. They are both strong Christian believers. I told them over the phone with my first child and my dad got angry and hung up on me. They didn't want anything to do with me for about a week then they got over it.

Emily - posted on 10/20/2009

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tell the most understanding parent 1st then they can help u tell the other.thats wat i did.