I am giving her up for adoption. Is that best?

Hope - posted on 05/26/2009 ( 171 moms have responded )

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I am pregnant as of now. It is a girl. My due date is june 17th. I am giving her up for adoption but am scared that i will regret this later. I do not know the birth father and want her to have a dad. But i want to keep her. Is it as hard as they say?

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Morgan - posted on 10/07/2012

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Hi i am pregnant with identcal twin boys and i am thinking of placing them for adoption? I am young and have no support my parents are both dead and i am alone. The dad left me and married another women a few weeks ago. He has lied and said they are not his. I just want the best for my sons and i don't have any money i live pay check to pay check. I can't eat sometimes cause i am so broke with no car. what should i do???

Suzanne - posted on 05/27/2009

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Hope, have you had any counselling regarding this matter? This is a huge decision to make and I feel that you need professional advice. No one should tell you what to do, this is your decision, only you know what your life style is. I suppose if you are finding it hard to make a decision about what is best then you need to ask yourself what sort of life do you want to have and what sort of life do you want your baby to have. Many mums of what ever age will tell you to keep your baby because that is what they have done, and their are other teenage mums that have given up their babies, all circumstances will be different. You need to make the right choice for you, please get professional guidance. How do your parents feel about the situation, do you have any family to support you?
I wish you well
Suzanne

Sheri - posted on 06/07/2009

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i had a baby boy when i was 15 and gave him up for adoption. i'm not going to lie its hard and many tears were shed. we have an open adoption and i see pictures all the time and ive seen him and played with him a few times too he just turned 4 in may. but if you want to keep her, then keep her!!!! but if you dont think its fair to her try and find a couple willing to do an open adoption. i wish you best!!

Suzanne - posted on 05/27/2009

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Hope if you need support you can email /message me when ever you want to. I'm a professional life coach and a mum to four boys. I had my first child at 18. I hope that you have some good support already in place, not just for now but the future too, whatever your decision. You seem like a bright girl, I'm sure you will do what is best for you and your baby
Suzanne

Brooke - posted on 05/27/2009

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There is nothing wrong with being a single parent.. No matter what you will always love her and you will regret doing it later on. What would you think f your mum gave you up?? No one will judge you no matter what you choose and if they do then screw them but seriously, I'm a teen mum.. I'll be 19 in August.. I love my baby she is so beautiful and I can't imagine life without her.. you are going to spend 40 weeks in total with your baby can you imagine not being with her any more??

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171 Comments

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Kinsy - posted on 11/06/2012

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I have been wanting to adopt for so long as I have been threw foster care myself for several years till I aged out , I have 1 son an recently found out I can no longer have children it was devistating to find out I'm very blessed for the child I do have an want so badly to give him a sibling, I have a big home an own my own biz, so I stay home with my son an he gets all of my attention my husband is at out biz, I'm very old fashioned, so coming from a family who wants to adopt its a very amazing thing to do so many women want what you have, I know I'm blessed an I thank god every day for my miricle!!! :) I can not go threw an agency as that take a whole lot of money patience an time, I hope you choose the option right for you!!! An good luck to you doll face!!! An I know this is out of the ordinary but if there are any mothers who are lOoking to give there baby up I'm leaving my email I resignin ut, will lOve your baby so much!!! Have pets too!! A 5 bedroom home!! Here it is kinsybabii@gmail.com thank you

Sian - posted on 10/09/2012

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Why are people still commenting on this the child will be 3 years old now....

Ashlea - posted on 10/09/2012

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When i was pregnant i wanted to put my son up for adoption. My family and friends didnt support my decision. So i kept him for their sakes. My family loves my son but i dont want to be a mom. My son is 4 yrs old i still feel the same way i did when i was pregnant. They lied when they said i would instantly fall in love with him as soon as he was born. I found out you dont have to make your decsion so soon. You can keep your baby for a few years before deciding to put her up for adoption. There are families out there that dont mind adopting toddlers. That way you know you tryed.

Sandra - posted on 10/05/2012

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PLEASE KEEP HER! i have a soon to be 6 month old son and i dont know what i would do without him!! my best friend is pregnant also she is due in November and she is saying the same thing but she is having a boy i told her and i am going to tell you once you push her out and you hold her you are not going to be able to let her go! and if you choose to breastfeed its going to break your heart. you are her MOTHER no matter what anybody says you can't just give that up! being a mother is one of the best things in life you learn so much and you have someone with you every step of the way! hope this helps and if you want to talk message me :)

Sally - posted on 09/25/2012

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You are so brave. To give your child to some one else because they can give it a better life than you can is the most beautiful gift any mother could give her child (or the new family). I don't know if I could be as strong as you are for even considering it.

While you would probably be a great mom, statistically kids do better in all ways with two parents than with one. They have open adoptions where you could meet and choose the adoptive parents and still at least know how she's doing if not still be in her life.

If you're not due until June, you have some time to make the decision. Think about the pros and cons of both choices. Find out what resources will help you (or hurt you) with both choices. Either choice is going to be very hard for you and only you can know which will be best for your baby.

Good luck

Manz - posted on 12/01/2011

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I think you are amazing for even considering giving your baby a better life than you think you can provide her. I have an adopted daughter and i can honestly say it was because of someone like you that chose to make a decision so important and so difficult that you thought way outside of yourself. My daughter is 6 now and wonderful and full of life and because of someone like you....our dreams have come true. It is posibly the most selfless act you will ever make...God bless you, i pray you make the decision that is best for the child, regardless of what that might be.

Tiffanie - posted on 11/27/2011

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Knowing where she is going and that she is in a better living situation will help ease your mind. It will not be easy. It will be the hardest thign you EVER do, bnut you have to do what is right for her in the end. The world is full of people like myself and my family willing to adopt and give a child the best life possible. Open adotion where you can stay in contact and recieve updates from time to time may make the change a little easier. email me at Tiffwork@yahoo.com if you need to talk. :)

Katherine - posted on 07/20/2011

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I think it's a good idea to speak with a counselor. I have seen teen moms do extremely well, and teen moms that have not because they resented their child when they couldn't go out like other kids their age did. Being a Mom to a baby/child/teen is a 24 x 7 responsibility, and should not be taken lightly (I know - I'm a Mom).

I have friends that could not have their own children, and thankfully a young Mom gave up her child because she knew she was not ready to care for him the way he deserved to be cared for.

The flip to that is that some teen Moms do very well, and are grown up enough to handle the responsibility and seriousness of parenting.

Ultimately, only you know what's best for your child. Sometimes that means keeping him/her and sometimes it means giving the baby up for adoption to a family that desperately wants a child they are unable to have naturally.

If possible, talk with someone that can help you figure out what's best for you and the baby in your situation.

Wishing you all the best!!

Rachel - posted on 07/19/2011

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I too was a teen parent. This will be the biggest decision of your life. It is time to think of what is best for you and the baby! Parents that actually go for the adoption are not being selfish, but quite the opposite...they do it for their child. Please seek professional advise because no matter the decision...you life will change.

Sinead - posted on 07/17/2011

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the fact that you have said you want to keep her then do it. giving your baby away is going to be hard and unless your 100% certain its what you want to do i dont think you should. ive seen someone give there child up and then decide they wanted it back and saw the adoptive parents being torn apart by it all. being a parent is hard work but its the most rewarding thing ever! i had my daughter at 19, used to be the centre of the crowd, the party animal of the group was out drinkin every weekend now im in 7days a week 24hours a day looking after my daughter and i wouldnt change any of it for the world. i was selfish. only thought about myself, was always dressed nice wouldnt leave the house without my hair or makeup done to prefection. now i would wear a bin bag if i had to to make sure my daughter had what she needed, i never by anything for myself, my hair is always shoved up, make up only on if i have the time which is rarely. i honestly wouldnt change any of it. she has made me a better person. everythin i do in life now is for her and will be for her. yes sometimes i feel i should be out doing what my friends are doing but it soon stops once i see her smile at me or i see her plodding about the living room happy and smiley. being a parent is demanding it comes with stress and worries but you just have to look at your child to see its all worth while.
i think you should see someone like a counciller and ask them if you could even speak to someone who has put there child up for adoption.
if i was you i wouldnt make any desicions, dont get a couples hopes up, and just spend a week with your daughter or even just time in the hospital and make your desicion then. ive just spotted ur due date now so this advise is a bit pointless but i just hope you did the right thing for you and you was sure about your desicion xx

[deleted account]

You have to look at it two ways: You want to keep her but it will be hard on you as a single mom and your baby may not know her actual father but maybe down the road, there will be a man that can fill those shoes and then there is the second option: adoption. You can choose the adoptive parents that you wish for your baby to live with and there is an option to where you can still be involved in your child's life while she has a adoptive mother and father.

Nicole - posted on 07/11/2011

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Being a single mom is really hard I am not sure how old you are but once you have a baby your life is not your own anymore so if you are still into hanging with friends and going out and having fun then adoption would be the best for her. If you want her to have a life with two parents.. It could be the greatest gift you could give some couple... I would love to find someone who wanted to give their baby up for adoption... My husband and I have no children together and we have been looking into adoption but we are having no luck.. I live in north east Pennsylvania and we don't know anyone here I hope you make the right choice for you and I hope that she goes to a wonderful couple...

LeeAnna - posted on 07/11/2011

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yes and no every persons story is differant i have an almost 11 y/o daughter that i placed and although there are moments in days that i wish i had kept her all i have to do is look at where she is to know that i made the BEST choice for her good luck hun :)

LeeAnna - posted on 07/11/2011

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yes and no every persons story is differant i have an almost 11 y/o daughter that i placed and although there are moments in days that i wish i had kept her all i have to do is look at where she is to know that i made the BEST choice for her good luck hun :)

Chantell - posted on 07/07/2011

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I placed my baby girl for adoption in december of 2007. it was super hard on me for about the first 6 months. i got a lot of visits the first year and it was hard to say goodbye. but after about a year it was a lot easier for me. you look at your child and her parents and just know it was the right thing to do. you probably could never give her the life that these parents gave her. I choose parents that could not conceive and had no children. it was the best thing i think i could have choosen. i met with them and even their parents. they've totally accepted us into their family and i love them all to death. i also went with a christian (to my faith) adoption agency because i knew the parents would be good people and the agency screen them intensely. all and all yes i do wish i had my baby girl but in the end i did what was best for that child without thinking selfishly for myself.

Amanda - posted on 07/07/2011

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I became pregnant when I was 20 and my mom wanted me to let my aunt adopt my daughter. I couldn't do it. If you want to keep her then do it. My daughter's father has never been around and we are doing just fine. You have to be very strong willed to give your child up. Just think after you give birth and see her.... I doubt you will be able to do it! And we are all here to support you and give advice.. I would say keep her.. Being a mother is so special and I wouldn't change it for the world!

Sian - posted on 07/06/2011

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There is nothing wrong with being a single parent I'm a single parent to a 2 year old girl and it is hard but you'll cope!

Cheri - posted on 07/05/2011

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I myself am adopted and I'm thankful every day that my birth mom loved me enough to give me up for adoption. She wanted the best life she could offer me, so she gave me to an adoptive family she knew would love me as their own and give me everything I ever needed. My birth mom gave me the wonderful life that I have now. As a result, she was able to move on with her own life too, and she gave my adoptive parents the baby they had dreamed of. Adoption can be the ideal solution for everyone involved.

My husband and I have been trying to adopt for a year now and we would do anything to adopt a baby or twins. We had one birthmother already change her mind, which was devastating but we will never give up on our dream to have a family.
If you choose adoption, you would be guaranteed that the family had a rigorous background check (local and FBI), that they were financially prepared (part of the background check), and that you can get updates (emails/cards/pictures) for 18 years after the adoption. You could even get financial support and living expenses, as part of the adoption, to help you move forward with your life too. Adoption is a huge decision and one that is not right for everyone, but when it is, it can change everyone’s lives for the better.
God bless you all in whatever you choose, I know it will be the right choice for you. Cheri

Crystal - posted on 12/28/2010

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well said Noreen! i think she kept her bub :) good on her. it was a big decision for her.

Noreen - posted on 12/28/2010

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I think you giving her up for adoption is an incredible UNselfish thing of you. She will not wonder why you gave her up, she will understand. It takes an incredible person like you to make that decision. There are so many couples in the world that could give a baby everything imaginable that would die for a baby that can't have one. You would be giving them the best gift of all.

As far as the young moms in here telling her how horrible of a person she is for considering giving her baby up for adoption, SHAME ON YOU! This young mom needs your support! Are you going to help her raise it? NO! Are you going to financially support this baby?? I don't think so. Instead of putting her down, lift her up with support. It takes an extremely mature young woman to make this decision.

Courtney - posted on 12/27/2010

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no one can tell you what to do.
Do what you feel is right for you and your daughter.
If you kept her and one day she ask's about her dad all you'd have to do is explain. If you gave her up when she's older and you met she would understand. She's yours and always will be. Giving her up will never change that. But you will regret it at one stage or another.
Think about YOU and YOUR daughter whats BEST for the both of you. dont let anyone make the decision for you

Crystal - posted on 12/27/2010

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did you keep your daughter, they truely are a blessing im licky to me marrying my sons father but if he wasn around i still would of kept him as he is a part of me, and another caring person would of come along, its totally your decision i know it would be so hard to decide, but did you think of the love she would get from you and your family, i would regret it if i did it but thats me everyone is different.

Lindz - posted on 12/22/2010

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personally i think if your adult enough to have sex and make that decision and adult enough to be pregnaut and take care of that baby for 9months then u should raise your own child who is your own flesh and blood and is HALF of ur own DNA. i never thought twice about keeping MY daughter coz she is mine. I love her so much and i can't even imagine not being with her because while ur pregnaut she is linked to you. the mother daughter bond doesnt go away just becoz u get rid of her.. i can't speak for you but i would say i would have regreted every single day of my life not having my daughter next to me.

Sheree - posted on 12/22/2010

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if deep down in your heart you this baby growing inside of you then keep her, but if you have no feeling or anything for her and you dont think you can give her a good life then do it!
but it dont just chose because ur a teen mum who is alone, i had my baby girl when i was 17 and she doesnt have a father, a few months after she was born i met this amazing guy who loves her just as her own,
if you ever need to talk just pm me, =)
xx

Alicia - posted on 12/22/2010

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keep her! you will be happy u did. i have 2 beautiful kids and im married to their daddy =] they are only 10 months apart in age but they are 2 and 3 yrs old now.

congrats!

Kit - posted on 12/22/2010

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If it's right for u then it's right for the baby, she will be loved with her new family, but if your having second thoughts maybe it's not a good idea and if ur only doing because she won't know her dad then I think u should keep her, good luck either way

Amanda - posted on 12/22/2010

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You should really watch the new episode of 16 and pregant that showed last night because she went throuh what your thinking about

Jessica - posted on 12/21/2010

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if you want to keep her and know you want to dont worry about her not having a dad she will have all the support she needs from you and you could find an amazing guy that she will end up calling her dad

Adele - posted on 12/21/2010

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Hi i am 17 i was 14 when i fell pregnant i did not know her birth father. There is nothing wrong with being a young single mum, i know! I can honestly say my little girl is the best thing in my life she is my world and i wouldn't change a think. to be honest she is better off not knowing her father all she needs is me, her mum. It will be the same with your little girl! Keep her if that is how you feel, you will regret it for the rest of your life. My mums friend gave up her child for adoption because she had no one to help her and she is still searching for her daughter and she says it was the biggest mistake of your life. When i was pregnant i was desperate for ruby's father to come see her and be in her life i always thought, every little girl needs their daddy but i truly believe she is better off without him he's a bum dad that didn't want to know her. when she is older i will always tell her the truth. But hun think it through and make the decision that is best for your child. there is nothing like being a mum it is the most rewarding thing in the world! It aint like giving away a toy, she's a little baby, your baby.

Amanda - posted on 12/20/2010

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It will be very hard for you and you will probably regret it. I know you want her to have a father so she is happy and has that in her life but just think about how she will feel without her true mommy. I gre up without my mom i only had my dad and i still think about why my mom didnt want me so just make sure you give it ALOT of thought...No matter what situation your in you can find a way to make it work with the baby, it may be very hard but every morning when i see my daughters face and her smile it is sooo worth it. I think you should keep it. Let us know what you decide.

Amanda - posted on 12/19/2010

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If you don't feel that you can give her everything she needs and deserves than I would do what your heart feels. If you want her one day and not the next, than you really need to think long and hard about this. It's a life altering desicion and you will need to really do what your heart says. My best friend got pregnant a month after I did with my first. I had chosen to keep my son even though I was only 17. I had support from my family, friends, and my sons father and his family. My best friend didn't. She like you didn't know who were childs father was and she didn't have much support from her family either. She was such a mess, and I can remember her calling me after she had found a promising adoptive family crying saying she didn't think she could do it. I told her that if she chose to keep her daughter(she was having a girl) that I would support her either way. She ended up giving her daughter Tessa to the family she had chosen. It was an open adoption and she sees her daughter on Christmas, Tessa's birthday which is in Feb, and a few times in the summer. They live about 2 hrs away and always send pictures and she is called Aunt by her daughter. That was her choice, and she now has 3 beautiful children who see Tessa as well, and they all think they are cousins! It worked out great! Maybe you could do an open adoption. I'm sure it's hard, but it could be harder doing it alone...you will know what to do soon enough. Just listen to your heart and do what you want to do...no one else...best of luck sweetheart!

Maria - posted on 12/17/2010

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keep her I have a 21month old daughter and a 6month old son & i was 20 2weeks ago and I wouldnt be able to live without them its not easy its actually very hard but they are little miracles and make my life worth living!

Franshell - posted on 12/16/2010

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Do what you think is best.. It is hard at first but you will get the hang of it if you decide to keep her.. Are your parents supportive or is anyone willing to help you? Do what you feel is right and dont let anyone tell you what you should do regarding this matter!! If you want to keep YOUR daughter then do just that, if you think she would be better off with others raising her and you choose to go with adoption, look into OPEN ADOPTION, you can visit her from time to time, and get pictures with her and so forth, dont just give her up because you dont know the father, there are many mom who have made it on their own with no help!

Nicole - posted on 12/16/2010

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Yes, it is as hard as they say. But then again, so is giving her up for adoption. Either way, you're going to have some hardship ahead, so there's no way to avoid it.

That being said, you can have a wonderful relationship with your daughter if you keep her or if you let her be adopted. I think you can find happiness either way.

The key to not regretting either decision is make sure you go in to it with like someone said, some counselling, and confidence. When you do make your decision, have confidence that you are doing the best thing for your child, whatever you choose, and know that you are a smart, strong woman who was faced with a tough choice and ALWAYS made the right decision. Again, whatever you choose. That way, although you may always wonder what might have been if you made the other choice, you will be able to know that you did the best for your child.

Good luck!

Gianna - posted on 08/13/2009

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dont give her up, a baby is the most presious gift of all

u will regret it in the future , i know how u must be feelin if u ever need to chat

g-parody @hotmail.co.uk or look me up in facebook. think about it everything happens 4 a reason, u baby daughter will make u a stronger person. take care

Gianna - posted on 08/13/2009

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dont give her up, a baby is the most presious gift of all

u will regret it in the future , i know how u must be feelin if u ever need to chat

g-parody @hotmail.co.uk or look me up in facebook. think about it everything happens 4 a reason, u baby daughter will make u a stronger person. take care

Jennifer - posted on 08/13/2009

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I wonder what you ended up doing... If you gave her up, well, it was an amazing gift you've given another family. I couldn't do it, but I considered it.



I haven't read all the responses, and I'm sure I must be repeating some of it, there certainly seems to have been a lively debate here! practically a battle! You posted this question in a forum where everyone has had a child at a young age. I think it might even be true that we were all pressured to abort or adopt out our child. So, it's not surprising that you've triggered a lot of strong feelings. However, that said, if you think you aren't stable enough to be a good mom now, adoption is an excellent choice. My thinking was that if I was better than 50% of mothers than I was good enough, because adoptive parents aren't necessarily perfect Either. They do often have more money and resources, they're usually older and more settled in life and they are Always ready for a child. You have a right to have the life you've dreamed of, and giving your child a chance at the life you hope she'll have is very caring of you.



Be well,

Jennifer

Michele - posted on 08/11/2009

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being a single mother is not a bad thing i was a teen mom and i stayed with the dad for the baby later leaving him becuz it was definetely best to be away, u can be a mom and a dad urself ur child needs u, plus in my case yrs after leaving the bio dad i met a great man who i have been with for 3yrs now and am marrying he takes great care of not only me and my son but my sons half sis who was to his bio dad becuz i take care of her instead of him during the summers she comes to our new home 15hrs away and stays the summer before returning to live with her grandparents, he accepted her regaurdless and is the best dad to these two, so regaurdless of the bio dad u will more than likely meet a man who will take care of the both of u and become her daddy:)...in the end though it is up to u on ur decision though and u r not a bad person either way...

Latoya - posted on 08/11/2009

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i would keep her...i had my first son at 17, my son is now 3 and it was the best decision i ever made....my sons father is a deadbeat he doesnt see him call or check up on him or help with the expenses...and my son is perfectly fine he is the happiest baby you can ever meet..i tell everyone he does have a daddy and that im his mommy and daddy...but i would say its really up to u and your situation if thats what u REALLY think is best for her than do it...but there will be consequences and if you keep her its a life long responsibility but its alot of enjoyment and a wonderful feeling of bein a mother and a single mother makin it on her own....

Cassandra - posted on 08/11/2009

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if you want her keep her, things will be hard but giving her up will be a lot harder if you don't fully 100% decide on it.

Cassandra - posted on 08/11/2009

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if you want her keep her, things will be hard but giving her up will be a lot harder if you don't fully 100% decide on it.

Cassidy - posted on 08/11/2009

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Okay, I know by now you will have made your decision, but I have some insight that might help others that read this. My mom was young when she had her first child. My family told her that they would disown her if she kept it and a lot of other horrible things. She knew that if they did that she would not be able to support the baby because the birth father wanted nothing to do with her. My mom had a really tough time with it and it hurt her for many years. Her friend had one a couple of days later and my mom couldn't stand to see the child for a long time. It still hurts her. My family would have forgiven her eventually, but she was young and confused. Years later when my grandparents were sick they told my mom that they regret doing that to her and that they wish she had kept it. When she actually had the baby she didn't even get to hold it, but she said she seen that it had a head full of dark hair. She told the adoptive family that she changed her mind and that she wanted to keep it and they told her that if she dared try they would take her to court and sue her etc. She believed them for a long time. She didn't even know that until she signed the paper that it was still her child. She has tried to find her. She goes to the lawyer agency that handled it every year on her birthday which is sometime in august, and waits to see if she comes in. The place that gave her up for adoption is in Columbia, Mo. She almost gave me up for adoption too. The nurse said that she knew that she wouldn't because she kept walking back and forth between her room and the nursery. When my stepmom and my uncle showed up the nurse asked them if they would like to take me to her, and they said yes. They took me to her, my mom ripped up the paperwork and my grandparents were estatic to have a grand-daughter. My mom didn't have anything for me at all and the hospital ended up giving her a used carseat to take me home in. She still feels bad about giving up the first so anyone who is considering it I am not going to tell you that it is wrong or anything like that I just wanted to share my mom's story with you. If you do I would strongly suggest an open adoption. That is where the baby knows that you are their mother and you get like visiting rights and stuff.

[deleted account]

I gave up my second child for adoption because i wasn't ready to have another kid. It was the best decision i ever made. my daughter has a wonderful family in Wisconsin and is thriving so wonderfully! she is even a model! they send my pictures periodically and i get to send her bday gifts and such also... it was a great decision and i hate to say this.... im not even sad about it. it makes me happy to see her happy!

Chelsea - posted on 07/29/2009

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No1 can make up your mind for you. I feel this is going to be extremely hard for you if you decide to give you lil girl up. Is not about age and it deffinatly does NOT matter if the birth dad is not around at all. You dont need a man to be a mum. please think about this as whatever you choose will change your life forever. Im 19 and a mum to a beautiful 8month baby boy and i wouldnt change it for the world i love him more than anything and could never ever give my son up.

Johnann - posted on 07/27/2009

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im 18 and im pregnant with my 2nd baby. i would never give either of them up. never ever ever!

Carla - posted on 07/27/2009

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If your a teen mum so manny things are bound to be running around in your head. I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is very lazy and not working but with my family behind me i know everything will work out, because NOONE will let u fall. I was actually going to get an abortion, i was even in the clinic but as soon as they called my name i walked out. I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and i am having a boy, and it is hard for me because i have the biggest dicked for a step dad and all i get is you should of done the abortion. Listen to this though please, i lost nearly alll of my friends when i told them i was pregnant, and even some of my family dont speak to me, but just think, when you are holding your baby you will not let go. But anyway, if you want to keep her keep her, listen to wat other people say, dont just ignore it. But make your own decision. I love my unborn baby with all my heart and sometimes i do get regrets of not getting the abortion but i know i will get the help i need so i try not to worry. Please tell me if this helps and i give u the best of luck honey. xxx

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