Heather - posted on 06/21/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )
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I got married when I was 18. I was 6 months pregnant with my son. I love him more than anything. its the married part I'm not sure I can handle. We hardly talk, we never do anything together and there is no spark. We have talked about this several times and nothing ever changes. Any Ideas?
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Kelina - posted on 07/18/2011
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what have you tried to chasnge that? do you make an effort to make time for the two of you? do you ask him how his day was and tell him about yours, sharing both the bad and the good? do you make an effort to love him? I also got married at 18 and the last 3 years have been a rollercoaster let me tell you! i found that making time for the two of us could be something as simple as having a shower together even if i didn't really want one. also going to bed ten minutes early and talking. My husband and i make an effort to kiss every night before bed, every morning before he goes to work and several times through the evening. and to communicate nonjudgementally. often i won't bring something up until i've had a chance to look at it rationally from both sides. sometimes i find that that means i've been unfair, or have done the same thing to him in the past and it means i have to apologize, but it also avoids a lot of arguments. I agree with the other ladies, counselling is a good option but there are other things you can try in the meantime. and don't wait for him to start changing, make the effort to put that spark back yourself, you'll be surprised how much of a difference that makes.
Krystal - posted on 07/17/2011
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I agree with Jane. Try counciling. Or if you can't afford it, try taking a piece of paper, on one side write down all the good things your partner has done for you, and on the other, write down all the bad things. If the bad things outweigh the good, then so be it, move on, don't hold on to something that won't work. But if the good outweighs the bad, then you need to sit down and have a serious long, meaningful conversation.
Jane - posted on 06/21/2011
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You might consider marriage counseling, to uncover what attracted the two of you in the beginning and to figure out what you have in common and can thus use to build a relationship.
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