I'M 15 WITH 2

Tina - posted on 08/07/2011

My partners mum was young when she had her kids. Just may not have finished all her education but she still managed to become an assistant manager earning alot of money and be able to send her kids to private school. Her sons are doing well for themselves. Her youngest didn't finish high shool as he was able to go into a really good job. He has only just turned 21 and earns more than his mom and dad. Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't raise kids.Who's to say that these kids would be any better off with another family. You love and care about them. You want to do your best to raise your kids. No one elses opinion matters.

Lotte - posted on 08/07/2011

uhhh sounds like you'd being raped and he should not be around you. You're family should be doing alot more for you than just talking down on you

Stephanie - posted on 04/05/2011

OK so I can physcially talk from first hand experience from getting pregnant at 15 years old that I know where you're coming from with everything. (Granted I lost one of my twins but it is all the same in my eyes). To be honest just keep doing what your doing and keep your head up high. You'll be able to love and care for both your children equally that I am sure. I know what it's like to be talked down upon by family and everyone... and I just kept telling myself that they'll get over it. It's gunna be a long haul..going through school and everything
(I did it and graduated!) but i believe that if you keep that goal of wanting to do more and be better then you can. I do advise though going on some sort of birth control no matter what it may be. Age wise though...yes i do have to say 15 is young..but there are a lot of mature 15yr old out there(i was included). and as long as you take care of the kids and everything then screw everyone else and just focus on them.
There's alot of people out there that may try to insult you or judge you becuz of it and everything..but don't let them get to you..cuz you know how good of a person/parent you are and that is all that matters. I wish you the best of luck.

Rose - posted on 04/05/2011

if you need a job the one place i know that will usually hire young moms is chick-fil-a its a christian work environment now they wont hire you if your pregnant, i found that out the hard way i was 7 months pregnant with my son when i applied and got 2 interviews they really wanted to hire me except the face that i was so far along in my pregnancy. and one of my friends said that if you get rejected for a job just keep sending in applications to the same places because they will eventually give up and hire you.
as for being pregnant so young, i really dont think it matters as long as you do your best to take care of your child(ren) the best that you can. even if you screw up a little bit here and there, when they're older they'll understand that you did your best and they'll love you for doing your very best. they'll forgive you for your mistakes.

Gillian - posted on 04/05/2011

1st contrapetion is not 100%!
Age has nothing to do with how good a mum u can be, as long as u love u kids and give them the best life u can that is all u can do
try not to worry about ur family they will soon come round to the idea of another baby
I had my 1st at 15 (not planned) my 2nd at 19 (planned) and im now 20 and preg with my 3rd (also planned and all 3 with my hubby) no one was happy when we said i was preg this time but people are now starting to come round to it, but i really cound care less if they did or didnt as this is our life and our children and has nothing to do with them
good luck hun

Charlotte - posted on 04/05/2011

I had a baby at 16, and I do think 15 is too young to have two. I didn't have my second child till I was 24, my third at 30. With that being said, I finished high school at 17, worked full-time and got no money from the government. I did it on my own. I did have my family to help me. My son's father and family was never around and he pays very little child support, if he even pays it at all. You need to continue with high school, even if you just get a ged. I hope the baby's dad is helping and working. Also some type of birth control.

Melissa - posted on 04/03/2011

Thanks Nikkole :0) I agree with you 100% too !!!

Nikkole - posted on 04/03/2011

@Melissa i agree with you 100%

I honestly do NOT see anyone trying to put Quarnitra down or any other teen moms, No financial support is not ALL that it takes to be a good mother but its a BIG part. At 15 you shouldn't be a mother of one kid and DEFIANTLY not 2 but i know things happen and if you have sex you are taking a risk of getting pregnant BUT if you are 14/15 and have one child and you haven"t graduated high school, and you can't get a real job, and you can't drive then having sex with your boyfriend should be the LAST thing on your mind!!! Yes the government CAN help her but thats the problem a lot of teens (not all teens) that get pregnant and they either don't make much or don't work just think OH its ok i can get government assistance for a while ill be ok, they don;t want to work hard to not HAVE to need support from the government, now don't get me wrong if you truly need it the help is great! Now no one should be putting this girl down but we should not be condoning getting pregnant at such a young age and saying you will do great, can she do a great job well yes but it depends on her and her baby's father. Her poor parents are probably freaking out because there 15 year old baby is having kids, would ANY of you want your young kids o have children before graduating or experiencing life, babies are a blessing and they are a great gift to those who are READY to support and care for them in EVERY way!

Melissa - posted on 04/03/2011

Lol, Brandee, my last post was deleted, too. My heart goes out to the children of some of these mothers who seem to have a blind eye to reality. I truely hope they have supportive and helpful family members to help teach these children better values, morals, common sense and decency. I look at some of these forums and I see girls who are 20 years old with 4 children. They can't even legally drink, and they're already mothers of 4. It makes me so sad! Those poor children are NOT getting financial stability, their mothers are obviously not putting their best interests forward (otherwise they'd have enough sense to not have so many children at such young ages), and yet their mothers are ignorant and self-centered enough to honestly believe that they've got it all figured out and all under control. Of everything that could possibly happen, the children are the only ones who stand to be effected by this, and it's very upsetting to see so many getting the short end of the stick. They didn't ask to be born into these situations, but the parents neglect and ignorance made that happen. I would hope that the lot of you would use some better judgement in the future, and not force more children to endure these situations. It's really not fair to them.

Brandee - posted on 04/03/2011

you know, fine. I wont post or help out with this community of my comments keep being deleted when clearly they arent saying any harsh criticism. done with this place.

Amber - posted on 04/02/2011

Melissa- I didn't tell her to RELY on the state I said that they can help her out for now until she get's on her feet. Get you facts straight!Also it's a bad idea to become a CNA they are looking to fire all completely because there is no need when so many other nurses are continuing their education.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/02/2011

I am so very sorry for you Quarnitra. Kids are the greatest gift and blessing you can ever have...but there is so much more to life than just that. Finding love of a husband and partner for life...graduating college/university..traveling..endless things.

Use this as an opportunity to reasses your dreams and goals. What do you want from life? What are your deepest wishes? I don't expect you to answer just think about those things for yourself. Then write them down somewhere..and think about the steps you can take to attain your goals.

Kelly - posted on 04/02/2011

You know what I'm 30 years old and my mum had me when she was 14 yrs. She didn't end up finishing school and now runs a business with my father. It doesn't matter what age you have your children, But it does matter how much you love them. I had all the love and support growing up with a young mum and now we are the best off friends. They didn't have money or a home off their own until 10 years later, I say good luck to you having your children young and ask as many people as you can for help. You will be fine. As for your family if they cant be there for you then maybe they don't deserve to know your children. My dads family try to get my dad to leave my mum but instead he left them and it was the best thing he ever did. xxx best of luck sweetheart. you will be fine.

Melissa - posted on 04/02/2011

Ok, this is a very controversial subject, obviously, based on previous comments made her. I have to say, sweetie, you are VERY young to be having so many children. I understand things happen with one, but you really should have had the better judgement to have taken the necessary precautions to have prevented the second. I understand that age does not depict your ability to be a good mother, however, as another mother stated, being able to financially support your family is part of being a good mother. You should not be relying on state aid, as another girl said. That is not supporting your children. That's relying on society around you, the people who ARE working for their money, to support the family you are creating. I completely understand why your family is disappointed, but that doesn't mean they should be treating you badly. What's done is done, it can not be undone, all you can do at this point is make the best of the situation. Hopefully the father of your children is working, and hopefully you're continueing your education. It IS VERY IMPORTANT to get your high school diploma and go on to obtain some form of higher education. Becoming a CNA can bring in decent money and doesn't take very long to gain the credentials to do it. From there you could become an RNA and make roughly twice as much money, and again, the time it takes to obtain the credentials isn't long at all. The fact that you're speaking out, seeking advice and support, the fact that you're concerned about this at all speaks for the fact that you do have a head on your shoulders, and you are recognizing the severity of this situation, which is a very good thing. You will never regret your children, obviously, you will always love them, you will always treasure them. What's important at this point, is that you work as hard as possible to give them the best future you possibly can. Regardless of your family talking down on you, I hope they're helpful as far as caring for the children, because that makes life a lot easier. Regardless of any negative feedback you receive, it is important to keep your head up. Your son and the baby you're pregnant with now can feel if you're upset, stressed, anxious, and it will effect them AND you. Be happy about this upcoming baby. Plan smart. Work hard. Do what you know is right. And after this baby, I strongly recommend either getting an IUD or the implanon. I saw someone comment on having an issue with implanon, but that's one of thousands. You can discuss with your doctor what the risks and benefits of each are, and which they recomment. I have a few friends who have IUD's and love them, and they're good for 5 years. The chances of pregnancy with an IUD are far lesser than regular birth control, so maybe that would be good for you? I sincerely hope everything turns brighter for you, and I do honestly congratulate you on this new arrival. Having a baby is an amazing event, and I'm very excited for you :0)

Beverly - posted on 03/31/2011

first of all, where the hell are your parents in all of this? i don't mean to say that they are bad parents, but they should at least be supportive of you. i was 19 when i got married, and i was pregnant 4 days later. my sister in law was pregnant at 14, and her oldest was born about a week after her 15th birthday. i was very, very worried about what would happen with her, and with her son, because she was still going to school. she turned out to be an awesome mom. she now has 4 kids of her own, and does it all by herself, as she just went through a divorce about a year ago. i just want you to know that you can be the parent you want to be, even when others think you can't. the choice is yours, not theirs. find a group of people who do support you and want you to be the best you can, and learn to just ignore the insults. remember what eleanor roosevelt said- no one can make you feel inferior without your concent! good luck sweetie, i know you have it in you to be the best parent you can for your babies!

Rosie - posted on 03/31/2011

Don't stress on your family they'll come around it just takes time i had my kids young i'm 24 with four kids my oldest turns 7 this year. My family was disapointed in me too. They came around after a while and helped while i was at school. keep ur head up and try not to stress its not good for u to strees while ur pregnant. Good luck to u i wish u the best.

Tina - posted on 03/30/2011

wow sounds like a lot to go through at such a young age. First off, Congrats on both your children and continue to put them first... Second I am sorry that your famiily is hard on you. Prove them wrong! I am 20 with an almost 2 yr old. I graduated high school before getting pregnant. I am currently in college to be an accountant.
My advice to you is: finish high school, go to college and prove the world wrong. prove that you are a good mom. It will be hard I sincerely hope that your family comes around to help you. Also, consider some form of BC. I understand it fails at times but its worth looking into. GOOD LUCK and keep your head held high for your babies!

Mariela - posted on 03/29/2011

Stay posotive, and continue to make the children your priority. Things Will be tough, because you will find your self wanting to provide your kids with the best possible. And It will be difficult because of age and education, but never lose focus because you with determinati
on you will. I had my son at 15 (he is now 15)and know from experience what is like. Many times it was a struggle but I didnt want to fit into the stereotype of irresponsible teenage mom and never did,because I understood the seriousness and the responsibility of having a child. Im proud to say that Ive done a better job raising my son than many adults. You could do it! :)

Kelly - posted on 03/29/2011

Perhaps not as quick on my feet as when I was 25, but still a great mom. Education and financial security is not a bad thing to offer your kids. Consider the thought. Take care Toni, I wish you well.

Toni - posted on 03/29/2011

Yeah you have enough energy at the moment, but what about when the 2 year old is 10. You will be in your 50's and slowing down quickly.

Kelly - posted on 03/29/2011

It depends on the mother and father. Not everyone is fit to be a parent, Age has NOTHING to do with it. I have a 26 year old and a two year old. I am 44. I have plenty of energy to do what needs to be done and I am a happy lady!

Toni - posted on 03/29/2011

What is best for any child is to be with their mother and father.
A teen parent can be just as good a parent as anyone of any age. It is not all about education and money. I had my son when I was 17, and he is perfectly healthy and happy. I never finished high school, but who cares? I know how to take care of my son, and that is all that matters. And guess what? There's this thing in my country called TAFE, where i can go to study if I want to when my son is older. Having a baby is not the end of our life and dreams, it just puts them on hold for a little while.
Think about this, would you have had all the energy to be able to do all the things you did after having a baby if you had had the baby when you were 30? No. By the time your kids would have been old enough for you to do the things you wanted to do, you would have been at least 40. I am only 20 now, and my son is nearly 3. By the time he is going to school and I have time to do the things I want to, I will still have the energy.

Kelly - posted on 03/29/2011

Looks like I struck a chord with you personally. Again, I don't believe that teens are the best parents or role models. I believe it is best for a young woman to have the opportunity for education and to grow up before parenting another. Yes I know because I was a teen parent. I did the best I could. I don't believe it was good enough. And I had financial and family help! This world is a tough place for babies to be raising babies. I am not saying one is horrible for getting into the situation. I am NOT judging. I am simply stating my opinion that it is best for a 15 year old to consider her options seriously and what is best for the unborn or child.

Toni - posted on 03/29/2011

Well then as a teen mother yourself I would have expected you to understand that just because she is young does not mean she cannot be a good mother to her babies. Your opinion is not discounted just because it is not the same as mine, but your comment was not helpful at all and it was very rude to say that QUARNITRA is hindering her childs future because she made a mistake!
That is disgusting! That is something I would expect a pissed off father to say, not a woman who has supposedly gone through all the same hardships as a teen mother.

Kelly - posted on 03/29/2011

I am not putting anybody down. I am simply an advocate for the children. We all must think before we act. We must all be responsible for ourselves and our children. I too was a teen mom. I do know first hand what I am writing about. I am now raising my 2 year old granddaughter because my daughter is unable. My opinion should not be discounted because it does not resonate with you. I counsel young women for a living. I love my daughter and I adore my little granddaughter more than life. If you would like to remove me from this forum please do so. I will more than understand!

Toni - posted on 03/29/2011

Mistakes and desperation? Kelly, that is a horrible thing to say. Please do not say something as degrading as that again, or I will be forced to block you from this community.
This community is about help and support, NOT putting people down.

Aimee - posted on 03/29/2011

kelly marquet bodie i am sorry this site is for encouragement not harmful comments this is a younge mum who needs help not tellin her to think of gettin ride of her child i was 15 when i had my first and 18 when i had my second and i provided care for my kids and know i have 6 children and i am 27 and i live in a 6 bed house and my kids get the best education i am sorry to write this but i think u are wrong u should be encouragin her to keep the kids and show all the family she can do it

Kelly - posted on 03/29/2011

I know one thing. Somebody has to consider the kids. I know you feel you are being judged harshly. You must now understand, it is simply no longer about you! It is about your kids. What kind of a life will you be able to provide for them? Do you have an education? Do you have a stable home and are you able to provide healthcare and proper nutrition to them to help them thrive and be capable individuals as they grow up in the world you provide for them. My strong suggestion is that you consider adoption for your 2nd child. Do not hinder his/her future with your mistakes and desperation!

Aimee - posted on 03/29/2011

if i was u i would not listen to your family i would have the baby and show them u can raise 2 children and a house and be a good mum to them both i know its hard work i have 5 children but u get there in the end and my family told me to not have my last child and i didnt listen and i gave birth and luved him as much as the rest of them and i got into a routine and i do well and all my family had to say sorry cause i proved them wrong u can show them u can do it continue beein a good mum and they will have to say they are sorry and that makes u feel better hope this helps good luck with the baby

Angelica - posted on 03/28/2011

no age doesnt determine your ability to parent but it does effect your chances of getting money to support your children when your still a child and still need to finish school. not trying to be discouraging but realistically...

there is no doubt an IUD is your best option. they typically are good for 5 years. congrats and good luck.

i also agree prove everyone wrong, dont give in to any of the pressure, stress, or drama; finish school make something fantastic of yourself for you and your children.

Tina - posted on 03/28/2011

All people should be doing is encouraging her now. Regardless of whether or not they think she is too young. She is a mum and all that matters now is that she and her partner make the best of their situation and support each other in raising the kids and in their personal ambitions such as schooling and work. She's not the first person to be in this situation and she probably wont be the last. Obviously we encourage young girls of this age to prevent getting pregnant but when it happens instead of making them feel bad we should be more encouraging and not judgmental. Being judgemental accomplishes nothing. Regardless of age she is a mother and a child needs their mother. And it can be emotional enough having a child.

Toni - posted on 03/27/2011

I have had to delete a few posts from this thread, as they were getting completely off topic and starting to get rude.
Please remember to be respectful, and if you cannot be respectful then don't say anything.

Amber - posted on 03/27/2011

Nikkole-
Really she can help with the bills, It's called the government. I get 292 in food stamps, who cares its money for food. She can go to school and get a full time job, Have you heard of virtual school you do it on your time I did it before I even found out I was pregnant. NO she probabbly can't Work FULL time do to child labor laws but she can get a part time job. LOts of churches will let you work in the nursery and then pay you with child care if you need it or pay you in money and since its a church they pay you "under the table" so you don't have to tell the government about it! Seriously did you not know all this aren't you a teen mom? Even if she doesn't want to get a job she can get TCA (Temporary Cash Assistance) if she is emancipated like most teen moms are just because they did get pregnant (automatically you get emancipated in most states) She can help out alot more to. There are alot of places that give stuff to help support teen mothers

Nikkole - posted on 03/27/2011

@ Amber How does age not matter? 15 is WAY to young to be having 2 kids, and with finishing school and two kids she wont have time for a full time job. If she is living with her parents not helping with the bills and not working now (because shes too young to work) thats is not supporting her children! Im not trying to put this girl down but age does matter especially when your having kids before you can even work. I understand she is asking advice and good or bad people are giving it and if she knew she didn't want more children now or couldn't support more now she should have not had sex because birth controls not 100%!!

QUARNITRA KING i wish nothing but the best for you but please finish school and do well for yourself because education DOES matter you don't want to work jobs you hate the rest of your life so do something you love!

Amber - posted on 03/27/2011

Diane,
So are you going to put me down too just because I was 15 with my first pregnancy! I did know how to prevent it I was taking birth control EVERYDAY! I can't use condoms because I am allergic to latex and the material in the SKYN condoms, but we used spermicide. Sometimes its meant to happen, You are not God by no means, you do not decide whats right for her or anyone else besides YOUR children. NO I did not have a baby at 15 I had and ectopic pregnancy. But just Six months later still on birth control and using all the same precautions I got pregnant again. SO I would advise you think out side of the box and think about putting yourself in their shoes before you go putting someone down.

Ro-selina - posted on 03/27/2011

umm diane this is a teenage/young mums group as in young mums come on here to find support and helpful advice not to be put down because you do not condone their behaviour,if you do not have anything nice or helpful to say do not comment, come on you dont need a college education to know that putting someone down does no good for you or them.

Amber - posted on 03/27/2011

I can't believe people are so rude on here. Age does not matter!! what matters is your emotional state and your physical state. If you can support both your children financially and emotionally, Then rejoice your pregnancy it's a wonderful thing. As for your family they should support you in everything you do. I hate to hear it when girls who are pregnant or have had children are put down by their family. I would say keep your head in your studies and pray everyday. Soon your family will see this is exactly what God planned for you. You can get a good paying job, in a year, well it depends on the laws where you live, but I know here in Florida at 16 you can get a job. Also there are places like PRC a (costumer service job for Microsoft) pays 14/hr. They train you on the job. And when your a teen parent 14/hr ain't that bad.

Tina - posted on 03/25/2011

I obviously wouldn't encourage someone so young to have children and would encourage you to talk to a doctor about birth control that suits you. All you can do is make the most of your situation and if you're happy and love you're children then you should be fine. You're with the same partner, love and care for your children that's alot more than some people can say. Even of a mature age. Although you are very young and people will judge you. You can just do your best. As for education and so on there's no reason you can't go on to do that when your children are in school.

Tabitha - posted on 03/24/2011

Age does matter alot in taking care of a child, at 15 you can't get a good paying job,buy a house, drive and many other things. It would be nearly impossible to afford having children. I think a good mother is able to care for her children financially as well as emotionally. Im not saying you are a bad parent, but when it is posted that age doesnt matter in your ability to care for a child, it does. And like others i think you need to to get proper birth control to prevent any more pregnancys right now. In my opinion 15 is to young for a child let alone 2 children. Again im not putting you down, however think logically and understand that taking full care of your children includes having the financial means to do so.

Brandee - posted on 03/23/2011

contraception and education are important at this point. Your 15, have you graduated high school? You need to have an education to support your children. And at 15 years old with one child, you shouldve thought more seriously about birth control but whats done is done and now you know for when this chid is born. Your family is probably just upset their 15 year old is having another baby , id be upset with aurora if she was only 15 with 2 children! But as long as your a good mother and understand that your children come first, age really doesnt matter.

Ro-selina - posted on 03/23/2011

oh and contraception wise dont get the implanon! lol it works for some people but my doctor told me after i got pregnant with it in that they take out more rods then they put in lol convienient that they tell you that after it fails! probs just talk to your midwife about it by the end of your pregnancy she will know you pretty well so im sure she or he will be able to set you up on one that will work for you :)

Ro-selina - posted on 03/23/2011

congrats on your pregnancy! and dont get down about your family or what they may say, if they think youre going to fail prove them wrong! if you can get a part time job (once the new baby is born) it is hard being a working mum but its very rewarding,if you are still in school just get a casual job and work when you can so you can get an education which is soo important and work experience. i hate to be the one to say it but its better to work hard now well ur babies are babies and give up a bit of time with them they wont remember it when theyre older but they will be alot happier if you do it now rather then later when they will remember missing you? if that makes any sense lol good luck anyway :)

Toni - posted on 03/20/2011

Firstly, I would strongly suggest going on the pill, or getting Implanon. As wonderful as it is that you are being responsible and looking after the child you have, 15 is very young. I am also glad to see that the child you are expecting is to the same father.
As for your family talking you down, I cant really suggest alot for that as I do not know why they talk down to you.
Maybe they are a bit dissapointed that you had children so young. All I can suggest is be responsible. Dont go out partying and leave your children with them all the time.If your family is willing to babysit during thew day, stay in school. If not, try to get a part time job. Im not sure where you live, but here in Australia the legal age to get a job is 15
Good luck with everything, and congrats for your new baby

Heather - posted on 03/18/2011

age has nothing to do with how good of a parent you are. Keep your head up. it will be ok

Nikkole - posted on 03/18/2011

I am glad to see you being responsible and taking care of your kids and being a good mom but after this baby i would seriously think about getting an IUD you are way to young for kids. I think your family is being hard on you because they wanted you to experience life and finish school and be older before have one child let alone two, it will probably take a while before they get over being upset about the situation but you need to finish school and prove them wrong BE sure to get a higher education than high school so you can get a good job so you can support yourself!