I really need some teen mom opinions for this big decision

Belinda - posted on 04/12/2012

After reading another post (and please dont take this the wrong way) but we were engaged for a very long time.

After our first child came along, we decided to wait until he was going to be around 2yrs so he could get more involved in the ceremony. Then when I fell pregnant again within 6mths, we decided to do the "family thing" first and wait until the youngest child was at least 2yrs.



After my second child was born, I fell pregnant with 7 weeks with my third. My middle son was just over a year old when I fell pregnant with umber 4.



My youngest was able to toddle along downt he aisle with his older sibling as ring bearers/flower girls. It was very special.



It also gave me a lot of time to plan my wedding and find lots of bargains.



Admittedly...financially, it is a lot harder to plan a wedding the more children you have. But there are ways of doing it :)

Belinda - posted on 04/12/2012

I had my first child when I was 19 (planned), but then had three more children by the time I was 23 (all "whoops" babies)

You said it...you shouldnt worry about what others are thinking. Take a stand.



If you are financially stable and emotionally ready, then what is stopping you?



I was lucky, we had bought our home, both were financially stable and engaged to be married (we finally married last year after 8 years engagement, but we wanted our childrent o be old enough to get involved)



My only regret is that my children came along so fast, that I was still young by the time I was "finished" having kids. I am now 27 and all my friends are just starting to have theirs...making me incrediably clucky...but considering I have 4 children with special needs, I dont think it fair to have another....though i would absolutely love to have one more.



If people have the balls to say something to you about your decision, put them back in their place. Tell them that they are not in charge of your life, they do not make decisions for you.



You are an adult now, responsible for another little life. You are capable of adult decisions.



Good luck!! :)

Gabrielle - posted on 04/12/2012

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I was 20 when I had my 1st kid. My husband and I didn't plan either of them. I ended up running out of pills and decided to wait to get them refilled cuz i had my appointment the next week. I ended up getting pregnant during the time I waited after I got my pills to see if I would start. lol. I don't regret having 2 kids at 22.

Kyle - posted on 04/12/2012

I understand what you mean about wanting another child, but my question to you is, when is the wedding? You say you are engaged, so would it be so bad to wait until after the wedding? I only ask this because I'm wondering if there is a reason you are putting off the wedding...why you are just engaged and not married.

I'm the first one against rushing out to get married because of a baby. I believe that you've already made one mistake by getting pregnant at such a young age, you don't need to make a second mistake by rushing into marriage. (It's been 4 years, so I don't think you'd be rushing to get married.) You say though that your man is supportive and life couldn't be more perfect, so I'm just wondering if you do have a wedding date set, why not wait until after that to get pregnant? If you don't have a date set, why not?

To give you some background on myself, I gave birth to my son at 17. I too experienced the want to have another child. I didn't want my kids to be too far apart in age. At 19 I got married to the father of my baby and I was 21 when we had our 2nd child. There are almost 5 years between my kids and that's really not so bad after all. My husband and I have been happily married for 13 years, we've been together though for 16 years.

I really think that you need to do what is best for you and your family. For me, when I had my son at 17, I felt like I wasn't allowed to be happy about it, my son had two rooms at two different houses because I didn't live with my boyfriend. When I had my second child, I wanted to make sure I did things right. I wanted to be married, I wanted the child to have a room all her own to decorate, that is what I wanted. For some people being married and having kids, doesn't really matter, that's for you to decide. It's up to you to decide if you really care what people think about you or if you are strong and don't worry what people will think.