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in need of advice, im 21 yrs old with 2 baby girls and expecting again!

Chelly - posted on 06/09/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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hey every1 i just found this site and hoping 2 get advice.... im 21 with 2 girls a 2yr old& a 4month old ... and just found out im expecting again .... all 3 with the same partner ... The problem is idk what 2 do I've gotten an abortion b4 with his baby ...n he wants me 2 get another 1 and im not sure if i really wan to have another aborion but idk if i going to be abe to handle 3 babies .... i still think alot of my 1st abortion and i dont think i would be able to live with the fact that i got rid of another 1 .... he is making me feel really bad everytime i say i want to keep it .... this is soooo super hard n i sooo stressed out ... plzi would like some advice back

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Louise - posted on 06/10/2012

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At the end of the day it is your decision. You need to think about the financial side of raising 3 babies so close in age. You also need to factor that your partner does not want the child and this could cause the breakdown of your relationship. Also the extra stress and strain of bringing in a new baby when your other children are only 3, 1 and a new born. This is a lot of work for you.

Now on the positive side, if you want the child this is a major factor, could you love the baby enough if your relationship broke down. Having children close together means they will all be at school soon and you could go back to work. If you plan on having more children in the future you might as well have this one!

Only you and your partner can decide what is best for the family unit. Your partner has a right to express his opinions, but, it is you that has to live with the decision of whether you can live with having another abortion. Having an abortion is not a nice thing, men do not understand the emotional baggage it brings. If you are going to abort again then think about long term contraception like the implant, so that this does not happen again, and you will be protected from future heartache. You need to sit down and talk about this with your partner before you decide to do anything.

Belle - posted on 06/09/2012

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well i can understand how you feel, i want to say even though you are in a partnership , do not base your decision on is demands or requests, these are your feelings, your body , your mental state of mind, i did that mistake by listening to the partner i had at the time when he told me he wanted me to have one , i listened to him and did i felt so bad afterwards and hated him , i know you not suppose to hate no one but him i couldn't stand and for him to know that he didn't want something so precious irked me , but i believe that you should sit your partner down and tell him what YOU want to do. forget about everyone else comments or opinions , think about what you want to do, do you want to bring another baby in the world knowing you can't provide anything , and letting you struggle more ( not saying your struggling now ) , but you get my drift, do you want the kids you have now to fell neglected because you giving a baby all your attention , you haven't even gave your self enough time to heal your body or to enjoy the kids you already have they are so young already and needs a lot of your attention ,or do you want to have this baby because you feel bad about the first one , don't stress , just think about the pros and cons and weigh your options, but base your decision off of YOU and you only .

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