is anyoher teen mom on the same page as me?

Amber - posted on 09/29/2009 ( 46 moms have responded )

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Im totally against teen moms drinking every weekend,and drinking with there kid in the same house. does anyone else feel the same way i feel like alot of teen moms think its ok and maybe its because they haven't fully grown up....i know i partied before i got pregnant but after i didn't even think about. Dont get me wrong its ok to go out..but every weekend? and what about spending time with your boyfriend( if you have one). I just think its sad that mom that go out and party all the time....they set bad examples i would never want my teenager to go out and parrty so why would i? if i want to lead by example i cant go out & party and then tell my daughter its not okay. That would be hypercritical. Hope someone feels the same way as me.

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Toni - posted on 01/24/2012

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Bafore I got pregnant I went out to drink alot.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking.

That was 3 years ago and the only time I have had a drink since was for my 21st birthday( only a few weeks ago). My husband stayed sober to look after our son, and I didnt get drunk untill after our son fell asleep.

Laura - posted on 01/23/2012

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I completely agree! my boyfriend and I do not like anyone smoking or drinking around our son who is almost 2. (niether of us smoke or big drinkers). Ya maybe one or two nights a month we go out with our friends (girls night and they have a guy night) and maybe have a few, but on thsoe nights my mom and dad keep my son all night and I come get him early the next day. Now I work on saturday and sunday so it dont really happen anymore. I hate seeing people drinign around at midnight with their kids in the backseat! their kids should be in bed! Ya it is a good idea to have a night out, but not all the time! you gave up partying all teh time when you had a baby. my mom and dad love when we go out becasue they get to spend alone time with my son (who is their only grandkid) but it sometimes makes me feel guilty, but I know they enjoy the time they get to spend with him.

Kelby - posted on 01/23/2012

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i agree with you. i dont ever go out maybe once every few months but anywhere i go my son is with me, so if its a place he shouldnt be i dont go

Caitlyn - posted on 01/22/2012

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Not all teen moms are like that! I was pregnant at 16 and now im 17 but ive never had a drink. I was a straight A student and the dad is my soulmate! I dont go to parties! I stay home with my triplets! I mean, if i go to a friends house i can still have fun! I dont drink and my kids stay home with my boyfriend and/or mom & stepdad. I mean, im a TEENAGER. My little babies are my world but i need a social life!

Nikki - posted on 10/26/2009

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I totally agree with you. I know people who do that and I hate it. Like most teenagers I partied and drank with my friends when I was in school but after I had my daughter I'm just not interested in it. She's 2 and I think I've maybe drank 3 times at the most since she was born and not even enough to get a buzz. I like being in control and too me spending time with her is more important than anything. But you made an awesome point and it is so sad how many "kids" are doing this!

[deleted account]

Sounds like you have your head on straight, and that you're thinking about the responsibility you took on by becoming a mother. Good for you!

Katy - posted on 10/06/2009

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Omg, I completley agree with you. I used to party every weekend before I got pregnant, and ever since i've had her I don't even want to drink, every once in a GREAT while i'll drink but I can't imagine how my friends can do it all of the time, and not just drink but smoke pot too, i think it's so stupid. I want better for my daughter then that, I think that if you think your old enough and responsible enough to have a baby, then your old enough and responsible enough to give up partying all of the time. But I think everyonce in a while is fine and the only reason someone should drink with a baby in the house is if there is sober people around in case something happens.

Brittany - posted on 10/05/2009

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I totally agree...We now have a responsibilitie && that is takin care of our child or childern...just because were teen moms doesnt mean we are teenagers anymore...We are mothers && its our duty to act responsible around our young ones..they do watch us && listen to us.so were the example.like it or not thier going to do the things we do around them.

Tahlia - posted on 10/05/2009

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i totally understand!! after all its not just them they have 2 think about now they have another life in their hands n wat if something happens n your too drunk to drive!! fair enough goin out even now n then n drinkin every now n then but not every w.e thats wrong!!

Beverly - posted on 10/05/2009

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I so agree :)

I feel that Being a mom comes before partuing every weekend and being a teenager. That doesn't mean I can't have fun, but it does mean that I am now responsible for a little life. Once in a while is cool but not every weekend.

Lyndsay - posted on 10/05/2009

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I agree, in a sense. For me, I am not opposed to drinking in my house as long as my son is in bed. He's slept all the way through the night since he was 6 weeks old so that's pretty much "free time" where I don't have to worry about having to take care of him. I don't think that just because you have a baby you should let go of your friends and the identity to had pre-mommyhood, I just think it should take a back seat.

Vanessia - posted on 10/05/2009

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i agree its not cool to be drinking whn u hav kids an especially not when you plan on being around them

Amy - posted on 10/04/2009

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your child comes first .. i have a 4 month old and not once have i left her side ..



i no of a teen mum who spent all her baby's money on her needs and her alco needs .. her son hardly left the house . he was always baby sat .. it just wrong .. the poor lil bugga is now in a foster home =(

Brooke - posted on 10/04/2009

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oh i forgot to mention that here in australia 18 is the legal age for consuming alcohol so that is what I meant by im not doing anything wrong in that way..

Dannii - posted on 10/03/2009

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just because mums drink does NOT mean they are irresponsible, dont know where you are all coming up with that. I drink and my son is very looked after, i dont neglect him. Difference is, I drink at home, i dont palm my kid off to have a good time, where ever i go, he goes.
Just because we have children doesnt mean our life has stopped. Everyone says to put ur kids first, when in actual fact its us mums that should come first, cos if we arent happy and looking after ourselves then how are we meant to keep up with a parenting role? It's ok to enjoy yourself every now and then! Too many teen mums are trying to obide by books and older woman to give teen mums a good rep. I dont get why people care what others think.

Kerry - posted on 10/03/2009

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i agree totally with u i was 16 when i got pregnant with my daughter im 19 now n nothing has changed with me i dont go out at all i dont drink ect i work and when im not working im home with my daughter and her dad i guess not everyone feels they need to grow up ect!!!!! it will come back to bite them in the ass eventually

Dannii - posted on 10/03/2009

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There is nothing wrong with going out. I dont agree with every weekend but us mums need our time too. I myself dont go out very often, its not something im into.. But there is nothing wrong with taking a step back and enjoying ourselves.
As for not wanting to set a bad example, well really we cant keep our kids locked up forever, and if you do so they will just rebell.

Amber - posted on 10/03/2009

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i only ever drink a little wine with dinner...i have kind of a low tolerance to anything else...i havent even had a sip since may, and i got pregnant in july, so im not drinking at all right now. i do think its wrong to pawn off your child on someone just to get drunk..but i DO believe that moms deserve time to themselves and what they choose to do during that time is between them and the people theyre doing it with. if its not interfering with child care and its not a constant thing, i see no problem with it. obviously, its not a good thing if you're underage, but it doesnt make you a bad mom if you have a little bit to drink occasionally. i know plenty of moms who are wonderful parents and they drink sometimes...drinking itself isnt the issue, its when you let it get in the way of taking care of your child that it gets to be a problem. but like i said, all moms (teen moms and older ones) need time to themselves. even if its just a bubble bath or uninterrupted time to read or anything she wants to do to relax and clear her mind. that does NOT in ANY way make you a bad parent!!! for those of you who want to be with your child literally 24/7, thats fine too! different things work for different people. dont judge people based on what they do in their free time. this thread is kinda going a little far i think. underage drinking is wrong. neglecting your child to party every weekend is wrong. cant we just leave it at that?

Cami - posted on 10/03/2009

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I agree, i drink on occasion. Im only 20 and that is illegal. If any teenager got caught drinking even in their own home, their kids could taken away from them. And that is something im not willing to risk. I dont think any parent should go out more than once a month. Depending on how old your kids are. Mine are 18 months and 6 weeks, so i havent gone out at all. And i shouldnt go out for a while. I have way more important things to be doing with my kids rather than drink, even when im not of age. And what if you got arrested, your child wouldnt have you, or what if you got in to an accident and a DUI. Drinking is not worth your time, but your children are worth your time!!! This is one reason why teen mothers are looked down at. Its the stupid, selfish teen mother that mess it up for us responsible, unselfish mothers.

Brooke - posted on 10/03/2009

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I personally choose to stay home and drink then go out palming my daughter off to someone else, I'm not saying I do this every weekend cause it only happens maybe once a month sometimes twice. But my partner and I wait until our daughter is in bed until we start to have a few drinks. But we are not doing anything wrong seen we are both over 18... and we are not hurting our daugher.

Nina - posted on 10/03/2009

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I'm with you girl. I feel like a lot of young moms have trouble realizing how important and serious being a mother is. I come from a small town and there have been SO many 15/16 yr. old girls getting pregnant and not even knowing who the father is. It's terrible. There is no reason why you should decide to raise a child and then provide an unhealthy environment for them. I like to go out and be social but there's a line that needs to be crossed. You aren't alone in your feelings about this at all!

Chelle - posted on 10/03/2009

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me n my other half have a routeen with drinking n seeing friends. we only really drink if we have a baby sitter or on the rare ocasion we have people over our house.. only one of us can have a little drink, and only when my daughter is asleep in bed. this way ther is one of us alert and sober to look after the baby if she does wake in the night. i think it is bad to drink infront of your kids and would never do it(unless its a small glass of wine with a meal or something)....but i cant drink a drop at the moment anyway as im preggas with number two.



smoking in the house is a very big no no also...any friends that come over and smoke have to do it outside. xx

Samantha - posted on 10/02/2009

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Remember, quoting what was said earlier, just cuz you have a baby ..."it doesnt mean i(you) should stay in 24/7..you ave gotta have sum me time..." "...go out at least once a week." WRONG!!!! Me time doesnt include drinking OR going out at least once a week. I see REAL, TRUE, RESPONSIBLE moms stay in ALL week for one, two, maybe three weeks cuz THEIR BABY IS MORE IMPORTANT!!! Drinking only harms your body!!!! Not only that but most accidents are caused by something alcohol related... YOU TAKE THE CHANCE OF HURTING YOU AND yOUR BABY WHEN YOU GO OUT AND PARTY!!! Its not about you anymore!!! Its about the life you brought into this world...Should have thought about that BEFORE you had your baby, right?!?!

Ava - posted on 10/02/2009

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There's a lot of things that give teen moms a bad reputation, and drinking is one of them. Not drinking specifically, but partying and otherwise not paying normal motherly attention to her child. I know of a mother that would let her child sit in his dirty diaper while she played beer pong, smoked weed, and drank liquor in the next room. I don't care how you spin it, that's a bad mother.

Amber - posted on 10/02/2009

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Quoting Rebecca:

These types of moms give us teen moms a bad reputation at least thats how i feel.


not meaning to offend, but i highly doubt drinking is what gives teen moms a bad rep...

Rebecca - posted on 10/02/2009

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Omg i hate when moms do this. Not just teen moms but even older moms. I wanna smack some of them. These types of moms give us teen moms a bad reputation at least thats how i feel.

Ava - posted on 10/02/2009

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People who drink every weekend, teen or not, shouldn't have kids. That's neglectful. The only time my fiance and I drink with a child in the house, or out of the house, is once or twice every four or five months with another couple. No parties. I don't want to bring my child into that lifestyle.

Iysha - posted on 10/02/2009

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Samantha, Ayesha- there are a lot of reasons we all get looks from people and All the reasons you both mentioned are to blame. Drinking, welfare, one parent... but no one is to blame for anything that happens to anyone else. Our opinions are our opinions and whether something is wrong or right in our eyes is just our opinions. What mothers choose to do or not do is entirely up to themselves. We cannot change people's minds on anything, all we can do is show them a different person's view. After seeing the opposite view as well as views from our own side, can we make our own responsible, informed decisions.

Ayesha - posted on 10/02/2009

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I do not agree wiv u samantha...about "Teens think its okay to drink with a child" and "we're the reason YOU get snotty looks from ppl u dnt know".The Main reason teenage mothers get snotty looks is bcz mostt ppl judge teen mums as "single teen mums living off benifits"! and easier way geta council house...which is not the case at all.You can still be a good mum bt still have a life too,no its not being selfish orr immature..trust me iv grown up alot in the lastyear...Life has changed alot since having a baby..but i do enjoy going out and having a little drink with frinds..dont see the harm in it..my baby is safe with family..i would never be dunk or drink around my child! and it aint done no harm at all..

Samantha - posted on 10/01/2009

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Oh, and by the way, teenage parents who go out and get drunk are the EXACT reason teenage parents have a bad reputation... Some of the best parents out there are teen parents but no one will ever think of us mature enough to raise a child cuz TEENS THINK ITS OK TO DRINK WITH A CHILD!!!! YOU are the reason i get snotty looks from ppl i dont know.. So really, GROW UP!!!

Samantha - posted on 10/01/2009

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i'm 18 and pregnant with a lil baby girl and i hate the fact that almost all my friends think that it is more fun to go out drinking than it is to even think about spending time with me cuz i cant drink!! I think it is completely irresponsible to drink if you have a child.. Special occasions are the only time it seems deemed reasonable and that doesnt mean a childs bday or even BBQ's... I have seen what happens when anyone under 25 has had too much (and some older.) Yeah maybe your baby is at home with daddy but what makes you think it is ok to get hammered??? I went to the bar the other night with a friend and some other ppl but i made sure that not just me but someone else would be sober and i had my own SOBER ride... I mean, really, i used to LOVE drinking and having fun but then i got pregnant and realized that my BABY was my WHOLE WORLD now... No more shopping sprees and parties. She is with me 24/7 (seeing as i'm still carrying her) and yeah, some times i just want to go to Six Flags or walk around a store without her jumping on my bladder but i wouldnt have it any other way. I see too many parents drink with their kids around and think they know their limits and hey, maybe you do, but i know first hand i hate see my mom drink EVERY NIGHT and THINKS she knows her limits. She is stupid and embarassing and she, nor my b/f's step dad, will EVER watch my baby...they cant prove to me their sober. And honestly, if you think its ok to drink once a week, like partying, then i dont think you've matured enough to take care of a baby. Drinking shouldnt be for getting drunk.... period.... Take care of your little one. YOU got yourself pregnant... YOU should have realized from that moment on that you cant be selfish anymore. and DRINKING IS SELFISH!!! All it benefits is you... You can be happy and have fun SOBER!!! Thats what i think....

Meredith - posted on 10/01/2009

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ive left my baby overnight one time(which was my bday), for a day one time and for 2 hours one time, other then that im with him 24\7. and i love it. if i feel like i need to go out i take him with me and go to the beach or something like that. good for us both :)
i do occasionally drink with him in the house though, i DO know my limits. i do not want to be drunk having to care for him so i dont.
i wont lie, i have once in the past (before i found my limit) and the dad had to look after him that night.. i will NEVER EVER do that again.

if a mum is going out a few hours once a week i dont see anything wrong with that, its when it gets constant and for long periods.. if you think about it alot of these mums going out, do it while at night, so bub is not awake as long.
its also good for the relationship if bubs is being being left with a grandparent or the dad.
but that just isnt for me, id rather be with my lil man

Dahlia - posted on 10/01/2009

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i totally agree. i was going out everyweekend when my daughter was younger and now i regret it i feel like i missed out on too much of her life. now i spend most of my time with her. us, as moms have to be role models now. very good point.

Amber - posted on 10/01/2009

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my main problem with it is what if the child needs to go to the emergency room or something...sure, you can call an ambulance, but how is it going to look with underage mommy showing up at the hospital drunk? believe me, im not trying to lecture (im 19 and drink occasionally), but how hard is it to get a babysitter a couple times a month so you can have fun with a clear conscience?

Brittany - posted on 10/01/2009

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I feel EXACTLY the same. I dont think its ok to be drinking all the time if you have a baby. i used to drink but i dont anymore since i got pregnant because now i only do whats best for my daughter. i dont think its ok to be drinking especially if you are watching your baby in the same house because if something happens you are not completely aware enough to act the way you should around a child. and i also believe that it leads a bad example for the kid. i dont even want my husband to do it aound our baby because i want to set the best example as possible as soon as i can

Iysha - posted on 10/01/2009

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Quoting heather louise:

i agree with ayesha. fair enough your a mum but your also a teenager aswell. just bcz we go out once a week on our own - doesn 't make us iresponsible or childish.



I agree and dissagree with this statement.  Yeah, a lot of people drink when they are teenagers, but that doesn't mean that they should. Teenagers should not be drinking when they have a child. Period... Even when there's someone watching their child. I just don't think thats right.  No, you don't have to stay in all the time or be with baby 24/7 but you should be with your baby nearly all the time. I mean, it's your baby. Sure it's ok to go out and have some fun like at the mall, an amusement park, or whatever. if you do decide to drink as a teenager,  being at a social gathering and drinking is different and a better option...less people or people that you know, and It isn't like you are going to be out until 3 the next morning getting hammered. 



I'm 21 and I take my 3 month old everywhere with me. I have gone out a few times with my boyfriend, but never go out to get drunk. People should leave that out the door once they have a little person who is dependant on them and their safety. If something happens to us, what happens to our children? Our children need us. I just feel that it is stupid, irresposible and very childish. it is completely putting our wants before what is in our children's best interests. 

Heather Louise - posted on 10/01/2009

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i agree with ayesha. fair enough your a mum but your also a teenager aswell. just bcz we go out once a week on our own - doesn 't make us iresponsible or childish. i don 't dump my daughter on anyone ther are two people she always stays with wen i go out. my best friend + babys granny. i don 't agree wiin leaving ur babys with people they have only just met + i definately do not drink around her - if i drink in the house its wen she is in bed for the night

Ayesha - posted on 10/01/2009

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Sorry but i DO and DONT agree wiv u on this subject...Im 18 wiv a 1 year old little boy..he's my world but it doesnt mean i should stay in 24/7..you ave gotta have sum me time...i go out at least once a week..that doesnt mean im a bad mum...i like to party with friends but i don't dump him on anyone..he either stays wiv his grandmother orr his daddy..i would certainly NOT drink or be drunk aroundd my son.

Chloe - posted on 09/30/2009

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Yeah totally agree and also a child wants to be with their parents or their mother not dumped on someone else..

[deleted account]

I agree.

In fact, I think drinking in general is stupid. I used to drink and I thought it was fun but now it's just dumb. I guess because everyone I know always think they have to drink to have fun or socialize and it's annoying.

Dannie - posted on 09/30/2009

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I agree. I dont support underage drinking period with kids or not. I think those with kids should either have their kids stay at a friends house while they have friends over to drink. im pregnant and i wont go around anyone drinking and i wont even let it be in my house when im married. Because your child could wake up and end up getting into it without you knowing and that wont be good. Some people may know their limit but you shouldnt drink in front of a child its somewhat bad parenting because thats sorta teaching them. adn if you have a child you shouldnt go out and party thats not setting a very good example for you child.

Iysha - posted on 09/29/2009

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I agree... every weekend is not cool. I hate feeling like I'm pinning my child on people when I go out (which was like for an hour just to travle like 5 min to the nearest beach with my boyfriend). lol. I think it is ok to go out like every other week and hang out with some friends with your significant other and maybe party a little within reason. Like, If it is a scheduled get together and you have a babysitter to take care of your child while you are not able to...but to make a habbit out of it is just plain irresponsable. I got to drink more than one beer for the first time since I found out I was pregnant this weekend at my aunt's 50th birthday.(my baby is almost 3 months, didn't drink when i was preggers, about a month ago I had one beer before bed) I only had 3 beers and a couple Tuscan Lemonades... I wasn't even drunk. lol. And I still took care of my kid.



Going out and Partying just because just seems wrong once you have a child.

Felicia - posted on 09/29/2009

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I agree. Don't get me wrong.. me & my husband have friends over often & drink, but our little girl is sleeping. I do drink around my daughter, but I know my limit. I don't get slammed with her around. I'll have one or two & lately I haven't been drinking at all. SO you make a great point! Good for you!!! =)

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