is it true baby fathers change once the baby comes ?

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Sera - posted on 01/21/2010

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Definitely! My husband and I have had many a talk about whether or not we were going to get a divorce because he felt like he wasn't ready for the responsibility it took to be a husband and father. He's still here but it's a daily struggle. Well worth it but a struggle nonetheless.

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Lynsey - posted on 02/05/2010

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lol it really depends. change doesnt just happen over night, but once your baby is born, he may. if your man cheated before -- chances are he'd still cheat on your, whether you have a baby or not. now he will grow a love for your child, but if you're expecting him to fall in love with you all over again at the sight of it, be prepared. it may not happen. it may even scare the crap out of him. it just all depends on your guy. if he's lazy and does nothing to help you out now, chances are he wont change in that area either. unless it happens over time. im really not sure if this is a thing you're worried about, or just curious, but be prepared for the worst if you're looking for your guy to change. i have friends who's men walked out before the baby was born, or days after. maybe even a year after. it just all depends on how mature your guy is, and how willing he is to make it work. young couples with children really do have a tough time managing a relationship and a child at the same time, because in reality, we are still kids ourselves. i know its hard to accept, but there's still a lot of growing to do for many teen moms. usually they mature as they are pregnant, or raising a child. good luck (:

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2010

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no...my daughters dad still just does the same thing as he did b4which is nothing. he dont help im more like a single parent. we fight alot bcus he wants me to pay attention more to him he seems like hes jealous i guess. but whatever im still going to be the best mom i can...we were together for 4 years and hes still around...if he wanted to leave or whatever i would not care..i just care about me and my daughter. who is now 6 months.

Lissa - posted on 02/05/2010

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Yes Fathers do change ... If you got a good man like mine then they will stick with u thru thick n thin n they r a fantastic dads ... Always there and helping out ... They take as much as resposibility as u have ...!!! Always changing nappies, feeding, putting to bed etc ... :)

Shelby - posted on 02/05/2010

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Not for me. The day he found, he left and he he has only seen her (and me) in passing ONCE and that was it. He wasn't interested. end of story.

I guess for some guys they might, but you all are lucky to have that.

Jami - posted on 01/22/2010

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Yeah they do. My boyfriend was so scared and nervous before our daughter was born. He kept thinking adoption would be better. But once she was born he became like super dad and she has him wrapped around her finger lol

Carlee - posted on 01/22/2010

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Everyone is different. My baby's dad didnt start changing untill our son was 5 or 6 weeks old. Girls are much more advanced than guys, hes still not exactly where i want him to be, but he's trying. I think it just takes time. Having a baby is defenetly not a small thing. good luck!

Amber - posted on 01/21/2010

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They do. My baby-daddy distanced himself shortly after Aradia was born. He wasn't cold or anything like that. He just wasn't sure what to do and felt uncomfortable. But the little one has started to smile, a lot. Now he's far more involved and much closer to us.

Diamella - posted on 01/21/2010

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well in my experiance NO. I waited around for my baby father to change after my son was born but he didnt. I just focused on what was important for me my son and he slowly tried to get involved now and again. Dont force him to try and change as you'll only push him further away.

Katie - posted on 01/20/2010

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Yes. They do. Some change for the better, some for the worse. Some grow up quicker and try to be the best daddy ever. Some realize that they don't want to responsibility and run off. Unfortunately, in my case, the father left me because he just couldn't grow up. He still wants to be in his daughter's life, but not like I am..

Keisha - posted on 01/20/2010

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It is definitly true that they change once the baby is born, my boyfriend snapped right into Daddy life soon as he seen our daughter... unfortunatly though he snapped right back to his old ways just lately. he was at least helpful at first! :(

Jessica - posted on 01/20/2010

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My boyfriend was always very loving before, and after my baby was born its like his affections tripled. He loves holding and changing the baby and he says he has a new respect for me he's never had before. Somtimes he seems in awe of all thats happened.

Kc - posted on 01/19/2010

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they do but so do you it is a life changing thing sometimes the fear can get to them

boys arent quite as delicate as us and maybe be scared by such a small dependant lil baby! it depends on the person but could go either way with my bf at first we used to fight a lot bcoz he didnt do as much as i wanted him to but partly this was some of my fault bcoz i didnt have the right paitence to show him how and forgot he's learning to!!

they also freak out a lot more and run away from stressful situations

where as we looked after them for 9 months and were ready for their arrival where as they still could go out and drink go driving with friends etc, and sometimes it takes a lil to adjust my bf took a little while and now i couldnt be happier

hes the best daddy it just took a little time!!

Brittany - posted on 01/19/2010

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Yes and no. My boyfriend still holds his same interests and is still fun to be around, he has changed but I just don't know how to explain it...it's nothing I can outright name. He's definitely more loving then he was before ♥.

Jalene - posted on 01/14/2010

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i believe they do big time.. for me its a good and bad thing. when my son was first born he wanted to do everything change him hold him everything! but now he is crabbier and that is probably because i am too. he works a 3rd shift job so i dont have any help in the morning like i used to when he worked during the day. but when things come up when i feel like he is distancing himself or not helping i tell him. that is the best thing to do tell him! or he will never realize it. and then after we talk everything is good.

Amanda - posted on 01/14/2010

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not always. mine didn't change. still the same selfish jerk he was when i was pregnant! but some do. i've seen guys go from jerks to holding thier new born baby and crying wrapped around its finger completely changed and devoted. i've also seen guys go form nice guys to complete jerks. people kept telling me "when he sees his baby he'll fall in love and be completely different" i wish they had told me it doesn;t always happen. he held his son for the first time.. for five minuets then said he wanted to go get dinner and passed the baby off to my mom. WHILE I WAS STILL IN THE OPERATING ROOM OUT COLD! then he left us in the hospital and when we got out barely saw him at all.

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mine sure did, and we have been fighting and in court since : / but that isn't always the case. I have several friends who's baby's father's stuck around and are wonderful with their kids. and my fiance has been her 'father' since she was 3 months old even though she isn't biologically his.

Keeley - posted on 01/13/2010

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well my case turned out for the better. my boyfriend was barely there through my pregnancy(out all the time, no support) but as soon as she was born did a full 360. Now he rarely goes out and she/i are his world. Of course it could go another way too and he could get scared and run. Try and include him in as much as possible that might help. It would probably also depend on how close you are or how long youve been together. good luck :).

Ronda - posted on 01/13/2010

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It all depends on the man. Me and my BD were together for 4 years, since I was 14, before I got pregnant. He was amazing and nearly perfect in my eyes even throughout my pregnancy but now she's here and he's nowhere to be found. He's scared and not all men mature in the short 9 months you have to prepare. The mom has to because they get the real physical change and it hits you hard. So i definately do not agree with anybody that jumps to the conclusion of yes.

Heather - posted on 01/13/2010

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Yes, I think that really both parents go through a major change..mainly because it's a huge lifestyle change. The thing that was hard to me was getting over the fact that I could not do or go where I pleased. I can't really describe how my husband changed, but I just know that his attitude has been completely different (better) since our daughter was born.

Ashley - posted on 01/13/2010

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Yea its true .. but I think both parents change once a baby is born not just the father ... your needs are different from before now you need someone to support you and help you and they also need someone to be with them and love them the same as before .. men seem to take it the hardest because the women changes so much ..you may not notice it but before the baby you were there to tend to his "needs" as well as our own "needs" but now you have a baby that you must care for and your ever moment is now devoted to this little person... Some times the guys find it hard to see that your more tired and that then you lead on... so yes they change but its usaully for the better .. make sure you have a honest relationship and you talk alot about what is bugging you both and work out problems as they come ... having a baby is hard but well worth it

Linda - posted on 01/13/2010

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Yes they do and like fear it can be either good or bad change, anyway they go about it, there is fear, good fear is like holding the child without hurting it. Bad fear is like OMG I can't handle this and possibly runs from all responsibility. I do hope that there is a bond that can't be broken between the mom and dad, otherwise it is iffy how it will turn out, One can never truly know what is going on in another persons head.

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