Looking for somewhere to vent and some support on my decision!!

Erica - posted on 08/30/2011

I had my first child when I was 18 and she is my world you need to do what you feel is right yes babies are a lot of money and there will be times where you will want to pull out your hair but they are so worth it

Dana - posted on 08/27/2011

You have to make this choice not your parents. If they kick out or your affraid they might look up maternity homes they also have some for those who keep there baby. I am not a teen mom but here is some helpful advice. Baby are expensive you get the picture. Start gradually picking things up as early in your pregancy as possible. Give breastfeeding a try (wic will keep you on for a year if your breastfeeding so that be food for you and more baby food for you baby when it's that time)Wic here supply free manual pump for breastfeeding mom here and might help you get electric one. With breastfeeding you don't have to buy as many bottles, nipples (you will have to replace nipples often) Diapers are another big price item. Start looking at your grocery store look at clearance baskets. Grocery store big place that mark diapers down if they cut a pack open slight bit as they were opening the case. I was paying $3 -$5 for name brand diapers and if i carried coupons on me i would got them cheaper. Each of my children i had 4mos worth of diapers. Clothes hit ebay(yes i got a sweet deal on ebay for my oldest daughter only thing it cost a penny plus $16 s/h the mother breastfeed her child . Formula stain clothes breastmilk doesnt. At least i have never had breastmilk stain clothes here.Garage sale and end of season sale is always good bargains. If you have friends that have handme down and are offering them take it up.Big thing any baby company you can think of from diapers, baby bath supplies, to baby food. Sign up for there mailing list you will get coupons on regular base and samples of the products. Huggies and luvs send single diaper of each size. Also look up baby freebies on line and sign up for that. If you going to do formula the formula company will send sample can of forumla and coupons to you too along with getting some from the hospital. Good Luck girl.

Mommy to 2 boys and 2 girls .I breastfeed my baby , formula fed my babies, had healthy babies along with nicu babies. If you need advice drop me a line.

Kailey - posted on 08/26/2011

Good for you! I was just 19 when I found out that I was with my high school sweetheart for 4 years who was 18 when we found out. unplanned not married my boyfriend was done his 1 year of cop school had to drop the 2 year since the school was HOURS away and he was upset at first but now he says it was worth it and he is now getting ready to doing somthing different with his lfe Cop isnt the safest with a family. I went from haven a bunch of friends from high school and college to haven none cause I got prego. but now I have one really good friend who had her baby last month and we are both going through and went through all the same stuff... My Son is now 6 months old today and I dont know what I would do with out him!! I LOVE HIM more then anything! saying that, it is very very hard!! you get poop puke pee spit boogies very thing and sometime you just dont have time to shower lol your hair is oily you smell like sweat and baby lol but all worth it to me I was a hair dresser I loved to do my hair I would never have it up in a bun or anything it was always nice and done into something now its shower if I can and I get out and my hair goes right up into a mess bun but I have worked on it and its a cute messy bun :)
I was very emotional and you still are for 9-12 months after baby is born to its a ride :) better hold on tight keep your chin up you will make it through :)

Callie - posted on 08/21/2011

Thank you so much everyone for all your encouraging comments....it feels good to know that i am not alone in this!

Rachel - posted on 08/15/2011

hi- i had my son at 18 also, it is very hard but also very rewarding! there was no doubt in my mind that i wanted to keep my baby. i wish you the best of luck and im sure youl be a great mum :)

Tina - posted on 08/07/2011

parenthood is hard but it's the best thing in the world. It's good you stick to your guns. 18 isn't a bad age anyway. Marriage is over rated anyway. A piece of paper shouldn't dictate whether or not a baby lives or dies. All that matters is the child is loved. As I'm sure it will be. Congratulations it may be tough at times but there's no better feeling than holding your baby for the first time.

Monica - posted on 08/07/2011

i was 18 when i fell pregnant. I wanted to keep the baby sooo much and was so excited but everyone around me wanted me to get an abortion.. in the end their attitude was the reason i gave in and had one because i couldn't live my life with a bad relationship with my family but i still think about it everyday. Have this baby if you know its right don't make the same mistake i did.

Jeanie - posted on 08/04/2011

You must do what you think is right. You must also know that you have put yourself between a rock and a very hard place. You are the only one that has to live with the choice you make. That being said, your parents are entitled to their feelings and opinions. That doesn't mean you have adhere to their requests, however, you should respect their right to have their opinions. At this point, growing up is key. Not getting angry, fighting, or shouting is very important. If they wish to do those things, you must let them. You should not participate though. It will be good practice for parenting :) I was pregnant for the first time when I was 15. I had my daughter 6wks after my 16th birthday. I wouldn't trade a single day, or single stretch mark for anything in the world. I adore my children, and always have. Some things to remember are what ever road you choose it is hard work. If you are a person that throws in the towel easily and leaves her parents to clean after her, I can understand why your parents feel that way. I don't agree, but I can understand. Kids take more that they EVER give. I STRONGLY recommend parenting classes. You are obviously strong willed, which will likely yield a strong willed child. Learn how to be a good parent. I recommend taking this class http://www.parentproject.com/lovingsolut...

I wish I knew about it when my kids were in high school. Take care! I wish you all the best! You seem like a smart girl, keep educating yourself!

Gloria - posted on 07/30/2011

you are making sense .... you need to do what you think is right & not listen to everyone around you cuz at the end of the day your gonna live with the blame & guilt inside you now if you dont wanna go through with it thats fine to but you should do what you feel is right there are many places you can get help from & support .. your not alone

Loral - posted on 07/30/2011

Hi Callie. I know how hard this is for you. Having your parents insist on an abortion is very difficult. We did that with our daughter and I would never do it again. We now have a beautiful granddaughter who lives with us and her mommy as well. But, having said all that, you need to now become a responsible grown up and now do the right thing for your unborn child. If you live in Canada, then 18 is legal age and you might consider getting married now before the child is born. That does depend on you and the childs' father. If you are going to be parents you need to be together,. The babies father should be working and starting to support you and the child. If need be you both get an apartment together and start making a proper home for the three of you. There are government run programs that help young mothers and fathers and might even help financially and can even help you find other young parents that you can become friends with and have someone of your age to talk to and confide in. I hope some of what I've said will help. Good luck and welcome to parenthood and adulthood.

Christina - posted on 07/29/2011

By the way Callie, I know this wasn't a planned pregnancy and you have to completely re-route your life, but congratulations :) You will not regret becoming a mom.
This is another way you can approach your family. Do your research. I did that when I was 17. I went to the store and estimated I would go through a large pack of diapers every week and at least one tub of wipes a week. I calculated out the weekly cost (and since I breastfed, I was lucky to not worry about formula) and knew that basic diapers and wipes would cost me $20 a week. You can go to stores for end of season sales for brand new clothing, and buy stuff on sale. If you know anyone who has had a baby recently, ask if they wouldn't mind letting you borrow their used baby clothing. If you don't have a job, get one now! Start saving money and purchasing stuff for your baby. (I had 500 diapers already purchased before my son was born and about about 6 boxes of wet wipes.
Decide what you want to do with your life. As a mom, you will qualify for a full pelt grant for school. You can also get student loans. If you can't really afford to go to school right now, look into a trade school to get some kind of education to make better money after your baby is born. (I found a 1yr nursing program!)
Then, sit down with your parents and show them exactly how you plan on doing this. Show them that you are researching schools. Show them that you have a financial plan to care for this baby alone.
Also, check into your state laws for child care. Find out exactly what is required to get free or reduced child care. I had all that figured out before my son was born so it was just the matter of finishing the paperwork once he was born. I took 3mnths off from my job after I had him, then started working again full time until I started my nursing program when he was 9mnths old. If you want to take the first three months off after your baby is born, make sure you have enough cash saved to buy his/her essentials so you are not a "burden" to your parents financially.
Once my mom realized I had it all figured out, and saw that I was being responsible, she eased up. My mom still brags about what an awesome mom I was to my son (and still am) at such a young age! She never took care of him because that was my job. Even though I lived at home, she didn't help me at all with his care. First time she took care of him was when he was 8mnths old and I came down with double pneumonia. She took full care of him for a week because I had a 105 fever and was so sick I could barely move.

Laura - posted on 07/29/2011

It is 100% YOUR decision, its YOUR child. Don't abort because other people have asked you to, you'll never be able to forgive yourself or them.

Callie - posted on 07/29/2011

Thank you both!!!

Jessica - posted on 07/28/2011

My whole family was begging me to abort but I didn't and they love him and got over it . It's your baby don't do anything that your going to regret . If you don't want to it isn't best for you.

Christina - posted on 07/28/2011

No one has the right to tell you to have an abortion!!!! That is YOUR personal choice that only you can make! How dare anyone tell you to abort!!! That infuriates me!! This is YOUR pregnancy. Learn to stand up for yourself quickly.
I was 17 with my first. Everyone tried to pressure me into either abortion or adoption. I told everyone to go to hell. I had my son at 18, enrolled into nursing school and graduated nursing school at 19yrs old. My children and I have good lives, even if it was hard at first.
I think you need to go apply for housing. You are 18 and pregnant so you will qualify. If you can't get support in your home, you need to move out and move on.

Callie - posted on 07/25/2011

Thank you both so much Casey and Bridget!!! Hearing how others have went threw what i am currently going threw makes it easier to handle somehow. I mean i know almost every single one of my friends has a baby now and i've seen them go threw it but hearing it from the outside world idk just seems to make this a little bit easier to deal with.

Bridget - posted on 07/24/2011

You are making sense :) I had my first little one at 19. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to message me

Casey - posted on 07/24/2011

You are making total sence. I was 17 when I had my son and then turned 18 nine days later. I hadnt graduated high school yet. The fact that you are out of high school and 18 makes a huge differance. Remember it will be hard with or without the support of the babys father. If this is something you really want to do then go for it. Your parents may come around eventually. If you and the father really want to have this baby then I say go for it. good luck!

Callie - posted on 07/23/2011

Thank you so much Rebecca for your kind words! I am getting more and more excited as time passes about this little bundle of joy coming into this world and i hope that my parents come around like yours did!

Rebecca - posted on 07/22/2011

i am 19 and i just had a baby girl 4 months ago. my family did not want me to keep the baby but i did anyways and they are now so happy that i did. they absolutely adore her. There are plenty of resouces out there that would help you along the way, i went to a pregnancy center and they gave me tons of advice, maternity clothes, baby clothes, and info about different mommy classes. if theres one in ur area you should definately go, it helped so much. i knew i could be a good mom and i knew how to take care of a baby but i was scared i wasnt going to be able to do it financially but it actually hasnt cost that much to take care of her. it cost about 80 bucks every 2-3 weeks for me to get my daughter everything she needs. diapers, wipes, formula etc. if you are determined to make things work out you can do it. it will be hard work but it will all be worth it in the end to be able to watch your beautiful baby boy/girl grow. honestly it is the best feeling in the world to be a mommy. i have never been happier in my entire life. if you need any advice you can message me if you would like. good luck hun :)

Callie - posted on 07/22/2011

I'm loving the advice though because my parents are still not talking about the baby unless its in shouts lol. i've already talked to several of my friends (almost all my friends are pregnant or have babies) and all of them said they will give me all the clothes i could ever need for a girl or boy whichever i have. My cousin just had a boy a year and a half ago so all his stuff will be good for a boy; car seat, clothes, crib, etc. And my best friend had my beautiful god daughter around the same time so if its a girl her and her sister both have girls and plenty of girls things to go around lol I know that it will still be very expensive for diapers and formula and all the other neccessities but i feel as though everything seems to be coming together piece by piece. I'm just so glad that i have this sight to vent and get advice from. All of you ladies have been so great in helping this new little mama:) Thank you all so much!!!

Karen - posted on 07/21/2011

lol oh my I have lots of advice to give. If you ever need help affording anything or need any advice just let me know lol. I could go on forever haha!

Karen - posted on 07/21/2011

It sounds like he might be worrying about not having the money to support the baby. He's probably just stressed out. When you aren't expecting a baby it can be quite a blow. Then with getting hurt also it sounds like he might just have a lot on his shoulders right now. My husband even worries about $ quite a bit. He's begged for every child we have but still goes through this stage every time we find out we are having another one. If he cares enough about how he will be financially when the baby gets here, then he cares about the baby's well being and I hope that's a sign that he will stick around. Really if you have to get on WIC and stuff to ease some of the stress. Formula is very expensive $90-$100 per month. We used Wal-Mart brand diapers $12 a week (best cheap brand we found. You know what the baby does in them so why buy the expensive stuff lol). Or there are ways to order them online that are cheaper than buying them at the store. Clothes you can find never worn baby clothes if you shop around in the 2nd hand stores, or even handme downs from people. Kids outgrow stuff so fast that everyone has piles and piles to get rid of. We had 1 baby shower for our 1st baby and had so many clothes left over that he didn't get to wear. Then had my 2nd son and after his baby shower we had a whole tote of unworn baby clothes lol. Just to give you an idea. Just be careful because some consignent stores price their baby clothes full retail price. i wouldn't pay more than $2 for really cute outfits used. Some have bag deals wich are good. A whole bag of $2 is a good deal if you stuff it full. Or shop off season too if you really want to buy new. Start buying at the end of summer for newborn clothes (don't need a lot) and 3-6 month clothes, maybe a few 6-9 summer clothes. If you can find any winter clothes on sale still, I'd get them in sizes 6months-24 months.

Callie - posted on 07/21/2011

Thanks again girl because i've really needed to hear all this from someone. I mean we've talked a couple times since we found out i was pregnant but he has alot going on because he got hurt at work etc. etc. so hes just really not sure where he'll even be financially when the baby comes.

Karen - posted on 07/21/2011

That's good. I'm glad you are excited and I think you'll be a great mom. I really hope the father comes around for you. I'd keep trying to at least keep him involved. That doesn't mean you 2 have to stay together, but you can both be good parents if you can work it out to where you both get along. Sometimes it takes a while for guys to come around. Maybe invite him to the sonogram or let him feel the baby kick. Involve him in any way you can. Sometimes they don't bond with it until it's born. Just keep the door open for him to be a father and he might come around. I know there are a lot of guys who just take off and run. But you have to at least try because he might just need some encouragement. Babies are expensive but there are ways to make it affordable. So even if you have to do it on your own you can do it. I'm sure your parents will come around as well and love the baby just as much as you do once it's born. They are probably afraid that you won't be able to handle it being so young. Once they see how great of a mommmy you are, they will be proud. They will probably bond with the baby also and will be glad they have the little one in their lives.

Callie - posted on 07/21/2011

Thank you so much Karen for your kind words! I plan on keeping the baby but i'll be doing it on my own it looks like because i'm not sure if the father plans on being in that baby's life or not. I know that its going to be very hard but i know that i can do it and i want to be the best mom that i can be to this miracle.

Karen - posted on 07/20/2011

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my 1st one. I would never have thought of having an abortion either. Even though i was still in my senior year of high school. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so we got married that summer (before I had the baby and after I graduated.) I'm not sure if you are planning to keep the baby or not. I did but it's something you have to decide for yourself. It was hard at first. I think I had a little depression to start off for a little while. But I loved that little baby so much. What hurt was that hubby had to be away working all the time to support us. We were living with his mom until we got enough $ to move (only a month). She was a very demanding person. She would harp me for not changing diapers right away. For ex. she changed him once and he kept peeing in every diaper she put on him. She'd change it right away. In one diaper change she used 10 diapers! I mean it was ridiculouse lol. It was that way when it came to baths, dressing, everything. So if you do plan on keeping the baby I would suggest being with someone who will be there for you. I'm still married and on my 4th child and would say i wish i would have went to college or been married first for a while but it hasn't destroyed my life. There are more and more young moms finishing college and bettering themselves. You can do it. I could of too and still could, but choose not tobecause i never found anything i was interested in that needed a degree. It just isn't for me. In my area you get paid more doing jobs you don't go to school for. Wich made my older sister who is an RN extemely mad when I told her I was making more money than her per hr. I've lost a few friends, and that was hard to accept for a while, but they came around a few yrs. later and then faded away again. I realized that they weren't as good of friends as I thought. I have 1 that stuck around and we had been friends since the 2nd grade. We are very close. I can still get in touch with the others but I enjoy my close friend a lot more. It's been a rough road. We have hit spells where we don't have much money, or we will have money for once and everything breaks on us lol. We've had times where we were broke and couldn't even afford the gas to get to work. But things have gotten a lot better. Each time we hit a rut, we ended up better off once we got through it. We learned from each mistake we made and are now looking to buy our own house. We are very happy as well. I couldn't ask for a better family. It's normal to worry, but it won't ruin your life. Don't let anyone tell you that. You can still go to school, get a good career, make/keep good friends, and be happy and successfull all while having a baby with support. Surround yourself with people who support you. Good luck and congradulations! Pregnancy is a beautiful experience!

Callie - posted on 07/19/2011

Thank you Katrina! I just feel like i shouldn't feel ashamed that i'm happy about the life forming inside me, you know?!

Katrina - posted on 07/19/2011

you are making sense. There is a life forming inside of you. there are places you can go for support. If you want to message me what area you live in, I will see what I can find.