My mum wants to live with me

Toni - posted on 09/03/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




I'm 19 and I have a 21 month old son. We live in a small rural town with my fiance and we are trying to find a house to buy.
I get along o.k. with my mum, but she has scitzophrenia and depression.
We can handle her for small amounts of time, but when I was living at home there was nothing but fights.
I want to try to help my mum, but I dont want to expose my son to her sort of behavior.
She also has a bad addiction to marajuanna, and goes really mental when she doesnt have any.
About 3 months ago she suddenly got it in her head that she can just move in with us when we buy a house, and I dont know how to tell her that I dont want her too.
She was a terrible mother to me. She has been ok as a grandmother to my son, but I believe that is because we live far apart at the moment.
Anyone got any ideas as to how to go about this without making her feel like Im abandoning her?
She has the mental capacity of a 15y year old, at best.

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Stifler's - posted on 09/05/2010




Who cares if you are abandoning her to be blunt. My mother in law is a bludger and wants us to pay for her life and I refuse. She got herself into this mess, and can and will get herself out. You have a kid and a family of your own and don't need anyone breathing down your neck anyway.

Kelina - posted on 09/04/2010




you're going to need to tell ehr the truth! You don't want her to move in because of her health issues and you like having a decent relationship with her. When My husband and I were expecting our first child, my mom got it in her head that she was going to move in with us too! I told her flat out no! She was critical and mean and it would be too stressful for me. Let me tell you she didn't take it well at allllllll. In fact i don't think she talked to me for almost a month! She got over it though. She also was a terrible mom and while she loved her grandson, shortly before he was born she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and did and said some really terrible things to us while she was sick. It was extra stress that was really not needed in our lives, and I was extremely glad that despite the fact that it was hard I told her she couldn't live with us. Things would have been much different if she was living with us and I probably would have lsot my marbles and ended up in the loony bin!

Ali - posted on 09/04/2010




my dad suffers from bi-polar and there was only ever one way to deal with him...tough love! if he was being to hyper we just have to tell him to shut up! and thats what you have to do with your mum it dosent matter how you tell her she will still feel left out but if you tell her nicely she might try and worm her way in!

Devin - posted on 09/03/2010




I am not really sure I mean my mom has Bi-polar disorder and is addicted to pills and smokes weed. She was violent when I was growing up and moved in and out of mine and my grandma's house. With her and I were living away from each other things were good but when she had wore out her welcome with her friends and various other resources she would come back to mine and grandmothers place and things would go right down the toilet again. So I sort of get what you are saying. Things are good between us now because we live in another state. Just tell her in the best way possible be straigh foward and honest and if she gets mad she gets mad but if she anything the way she sounds there is a good chance she will get over it. [at least that is how things are with my mom]

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