my new pet peve!!! "havnt you heard of birth control"

Cara - posted on 03/09/2009 ( 31 moms have responded )

176

22

12

i have recently discovered how amazingly nosy and opinionated people can be.. i have heard it many times from older women "havnt you heard of birth control, your young to be having a baby" ok.. like birth control isnt 100% effective 100% of the time, and like hellooooo mistakes happen, condoms break, pills get forgotten, doctors offices arent open on weekends to give shots!!! GR i think people should just stay out of things taht they dont know about!!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

31 Comments

View replies by

Kelby - posted on 04/29/2009

40

9

1

i agree with everything, i got pregnant when the condom broke, and everyone seems to think im lying about it.

Laura - posted on 04/29/2009

2

1

0

I agree...I have five children the first of which I had when I was 17. Four out of Five of my children were conceived while I was on some form of birth control.

Krissy - posted on 04/28/2009

36

17

1

I get that alot too, especially living in a smaller town. I know 85% of the population. It just annoys me because my baby was truly a miracle and i never want anyone to make it seem like he wasnt. When i was 13 i was told i would never be able to have children and at 15 they were considering doing a hysterectomy ( where they take out your uterus etc) because i had ovarian cancer. But they decided not to, which im glad now they didnt. I feel pregnant 3 months before my 18th even though i was on the pill and my doctor told me id never be able to have kids. I'd also had a procedure to remove some cervical cancer and never took a pregnancy test and it could have aborted my son. But my babies here now, and as far as the doctor can tell he helped my body fight the cancer, so at the moment i am cancer free. It may end up coming back, it may not but i have the most precious thing in the world a child.

Brooke - posted on 04/27/2009

869

26

41

exactly!! i know there are younger mums out there than me but i was 17 when i concieved and 18 when my daughter was born and so many people made comments about how i cant be young now, i have to act older than what i am, i am to young to have this responsibility... as far as im concerned its no bodies business. my partner and i wanted to have a baby and wanted to start young, it is our decision... i didnt want to be 30 and having my first, i can start a career and etc when im older, i dont see the need for that now.. we are doing great!!! i have the energy now and the patience now to look after bubs i prob wont later..

Brittany - posted on 04/21/2009

3

3

1

my 16 yr. old pregnancy was unplanned but still to this day i have never looked at it as
a mistake sure the whole time i got dirty looks and names called at me but
i believe it was ment to happen every thing happens for a reason if it wasn't ment to happen than it wouldn't have you know?
and i was very blessed with the most handsome little man in the whole wide world and i couldn't be any happier

Dawn - posted on 04/20/2009

11

4

1

i totally agree with you on that just stay out of it if you dont know about it!!! i was 17 when i got pregnent and even people as school like the teachers and stuff we're really bad for judging you because of your mistakes

i had my son 11 days after i turned 18 and i wouldnt go back for anything cuz i got my life straighten out right away because i wanted my son to have a good life from the begining

Brittany - posted on 04/20/2009

5

11

0

People just need to really mind there business.... I got pregnant at 18 , Im 19 now and 2wks from my due date. An i get dirty looks all the time because i have a baby face, But I could really careless, I think everything happens for a reason if your ment to have the baby then regardless if your using birth control or condoms your gonna end up pregnant. I had a incident about a month ago when i was leaving target with my stepmom and some stupid girl and her friends had the nerve to say eww when we walked past, and I've always had a smart mouth. So I turned around and said What The F**k are you sayin eww to have you seen yourself lately.... and she got real quiet and we just walked away...But people will always have there oppinions but its not gonna make me love my son any less or regret making the decision to have him... Society will just have to learn to deal with us young mothers

Amanda - posted on 04/03/2009

516

15

34

Quoting Coral-Leigh:

i was on the pill and am now pregnant...
people forget that the pill isn't 100% safe... there's always that 2% left and of course a lot of us end up in that 2% category and then we're seen as shite.
my doctor also neglected to tell me that my mood disorder medication cancels out the pill... but i don't regret it, i'm looking forward to Noah's arrival.
we are going to double check on thursday if it's just him swimming in there though.
would be fun trying to handle two...


oh god it worked the other way for me the pill (and the ring and 3 other pills not like i didn;t try a variety before giving up for a while) cancled out my anxiety pills so i can;t get pregnant but i can go insane with panic! congrats and good luck btw!

Coral-Leigh - posted on 04/03/2009

10

14

0

i was on the pill and am now pregnant...
people forget that the pill isn't 100% safe... there's always that 2% left and of course a lot of us end up in that 2% category and then we're seen as shite.
my doctor also neglected to tell me that my mood disorder medication cancels out the pill... but i don't regret it, i'm looking forward to Noah's arrival.
we are going to double check on thursday if it's just him swimming in there though.
would be fun trying to handle two...

User - posted on 04/03/2009

2

0

0

Baiscally how everyone is and was i have a four month old son and just found out im pregnant again i will be barely 19 when the baby gets here. Its like, my life not yours. I take care of my child i dont rely on any body so how about you keep your opinion to your self. =]

Amelia - posted on 04/02/2009

141

13

17

I got pregnant with my son when I was 16 and I even had my own mother say to me she didnt believe me when I told her I was using protection. My whole family supported me not getting an abortion because thats just how they are but it hurt me a lot for my mom to look straight at me and tell me she didnt believe me. I almost never have people coming to me trying to say anything about being a young mom. Most people just give me a shocked look when I say I'm 18 years old, married and have a child and no the marriage wasnt based on us having a child. I have nothing but love for my son and husband.

Stephanie - posted on 04/02/2009

26

15

0

I know excatily how you feel, I have a 7 month old son and I just turned 19 but my husband has 2 more kids that live with us, I've had a few too many looks to count. Its retarted! I wish people would just mind there own business at least I took responsibility for my actions unlike a lot of people out there.

Laura - posted on 04/01/2009

377

6

58

I know how you feel. I got that all them time and there are times where I still get that. Every doctor does tell you no matter what birth control you use it's never 100% effective. I have forgotten to take my pill already and a condom has broke before. I will never say that a child is a mistake, and I don't think anyone should say that to anyone. To be honest the best thing I've come to think of to tell people is that if you don't have kids and never want them then you need to shut your mouth because if you are having sex and have the it will never happen to me attitude whether you're on birth control or not then you have no room to talk.

Melody - posted on 03/30/2009

16

41

0

Quoting Cara:



Quoting Melissa:




omg do i know what yous mean my mum said that everytime i got pregnant i wasnt even living at home i was 16 when i got pregnant with my 1st and it ended up being the best thing that has happened to me then my 2nd i was 18 and my 3rd 19 but unfortunitly i lost my bub at 12 weeks, but people need to mind there own business they frown upon teen pregnancy but at least we took reasponsability and didnt just kill our babies by abortion









totally! i think that everytime i hear someone say something along the lines of birth control or abortion or being young, yes, we did take a responsibility, we proved many people wrong and we showed how strong we could be.  i think its rediculous that people frown upon teen pregnancy, so we get to be around when our kids have kids and their kids have kids, so we have double the chance of seeing our children grow up than someone who has a baby at 40.. we will be able to run around and play with them when they are 20 and hey, we will only be 40... when other people  (some of my friends by the looks of it) are at home at 40 changing diapers, we will be out having fun, with our ADULT children!  i think its stupid that people view teen pregnancy as such a bad thing when we can end up being such amazing parents, and having a baby changes your life so much, who knows what some teens would have ended up doing or being if they diddnt ahve a baby!  its not always a bad thing and yes some people arent very good parents, but the majority of teens who have and keep their babies are ready to accept the responsibility and the challenge, and end up being amazing at parenting!





I have to agree with you ladies.  I got the same thing when I was pregnant with mine but I think there are good thigns about having kids young and honestly, my first son is what smartened me up, my life was going nowhere but because of him I went back to school and graduated with honors went on to college and got myself a good career.  I think people shouldn't be so quick to judge when they have no idea about what really goes on with our lives.  And, I have seen a lot of 40+ moms who just have babies as an accessory and then work all the time and have someone else raise them, at least we're taking responsibility for our children.

Megan - posted on 03/30/2009

22

15

1

yeah i know what you mean i was with me bf for a year and a half before getting pregnant and i was using condoms its not like i wasnt trying to be protected. once i told my parents i was pregnant they went and told me siblings right away. i didnt want to tell my one older brother because i knnew how hed react. he got really upset with me because i refused to get an abortion, then got even more upset when i didnt give my daughter up for adoption and then blames it all on my bf. it takes two i dont hold my bf responsible onr do i think my daughter is a mistake shes the best thing that has ever happened to me. oh and on top of all that now my brother is trying to play the proud uncle card. really pisses me off that he had the nerve to put me through all that and pretend like he never said anything. i just recently filed for baby bonus and my daughters is 3 months old i didnt at first because he told me i wouldnt be able to support my baby and live off the system and i wouldnt have filed for baby bonus if it wasnt for my older sister who told me she even recieved baby bonus

Samantha - posted on 03/30/2009

134

34

20

Like a few others on here, I was also on the pill, but wasn't aware that taking an antibiotic would interfere with it's effectiveness.  The ones who push you about getting on birth control don't mention that little fact.  I also received a lot of judgement, not only from people older than me, but also from my peers (I was a senior in highschool).  I am so happy and in love with my little girl, and I would much rather have her here and be judged than have murdered her like many others would and did to avoid the criticism.  Good job to everyone on here who holds their heads up despite negativity...we are just as good of mothers (if not better) than women older than us.

Amanda - posted on 03/30/2009

516

15

34

god i always hate that! i couldn;t take hormonal birth control. I have an anxiety disorder and i tried so many kinds and they just made anxiety and depression 10 times worse! when i came off the BC i was fine. its so annoying when people say that because im not going to sit and explain to them why i wasn;t taking the pill. stranger? they don;t know how old you are. weather you happen to have a lot of money or what kind of mother you are and yet they feel they have a right to comment.

Casey - posted on 03/20/2009

126

30

7

You don't look that young, you must be around the 20 area.  Most people don't say that stuff to me because although I'm 20, I look a little older.  There was only one person that was trying to convince me to get an abortion and another that seemed to be questioning my parenting abilities, but those were just stuck up men.  But yeah, I'd want to kill them.  I hate when people make snotty remarks.  They just don't think!  Like when I told one nurse about how men doctors make me nervous she said something snide like I can't be that nervous about men because I'm pregnant like I am some slut.  I hate having to deal with that shit, and my boyfriend being 32 doesn't have to deal with any of it and is not always so understanding of why I'm so upset... anyways.. it's nice to get some stuff off the ol' chest.

Amanda - posted on 03/20/2009

185

26

55

I was 15 when I fell pregnant but I lost the baby at 7 weeks, it was upsetting don't get me wrong but it wasn't the right time. My partner and I had only been together 3 months and I had only just started taking the pill ( if the doctor did a pregnancy test before putting me on the pill I would have known I was pregnant).

When I fell pregnant the second time I was 16 almost 17 and I felt good about having a baby but then I lost it also, at 10 weeks. I had to go to the hospital because the baby was too big and I had to have a D and C. All of the nurses were horrible, everyone of them. They were all like "well your only 16 you don't need a baby to look after you can have plenty of babies when your in your 30's like everyone else". Little did they know that when I was 13 I was told I would never have children so abortion wasn't an option for me I wanted to be a mother no matter how old I was. Then after I found out I had misscarried they got a heavily pregnant doctor to come and see me.

One month after I turned 17 I fell pregnant again (purposely because I had just gotten used to the fact that I was having a baby last time and now I wanted a baby) and I was totally scared that I would loose that baby too, and then my partner and I broke up, so I really thought I was going to loose it. But when I was 8 months pregnant my little girl was born.

Then when she was 10 months old and I was on the mini pill because I was still breastfeeding I fell pregnant again and 6 weeks early my second daughter was born.

Then last year when my eldest was 5 my youngest was 3 I fell pregnant again (again because I wanted another one not by accident) and in Oct last year I had my third daughter. I am only 23 now and I get looks all the time and people say to me why did you have children so early and I just say "well if you found out that you couldn't have kid's and then fell pregnant I think that you would of had them too no matter what age" and they soon shut up. Ilove my girls and before my pegnancy at 16 and mt first daughter I was in a bad depression and self medicating myself with drugs and alcohol, so I can not imagine where I would be if they were not her, I beleive they saved my life.

Jessica - posted on 03/13/2009

20

12

2

Oh I know! I hate it, people like that make it harder for young mothers. Not every young mother was a hard-core party girl, who randomly got pregnant because she slept around to much and had lots of un-protected sex. I find actually reading alot of stories, the mother was in a long-term SERIOUS relationship. I agree though condoms break, pills are forgotten or even if you're on a patch or something else, its not always 100% effective.

Cara - posted on 03/12/2009

176

22

12

Quoting Melissa:



omg do i know what yous mean my mum said that everytime i got pregnant i wasnt even living at home i was 16 when i got pregnant with my 1st and it ended up being the best thing that has happened to me then my 2nd i was 18 and my 3rd 19 but unfortunitly i lost my bub at 12 weeks, but people need to mind there own business they frown upon teen pregnancy but at least we took reasponsability and didnt just kill our babies by abortion





totally! i think that everytime i hear someone say something along the lines of birth control or abortion or being young, yes, we did take a responsibility, we proved many people wrong and we showed how strong we could be.  i think its rediculous that people frown upon teen pregnancy, so we get to be around when our kids have kids and their kids have kids, so we have double the chance of seeing our children grow up than someone who has a baby at 40.. we will be able to run around and play with them when they are 20 and hey, we will only be 40... when other people  (some of my friends by the looks of it) are at home at 40 changing diapers, we will be out having fun, with our ADULT children!  i think its stupid that people view teen pregnancy as such a bad thing when we can end up being such amazing parents, and having a baby changes your life so much, who knows what some teens would have ended up doing or being if they diddnt ahve a baby!  its not always a bad thing and yes some people arent very good parents, but the majority of teens who have and keep their babies are ready to accept the responsibility and the challenge, and end up being amazing at parenting!

Melissa - posted on 03/12/2009

35

11

4

omg do i know what yous mean my mum said that everytime i got pregnant i wasnt even living at home i was 16 when i got pregnant with my 1st  and it ended up being the best thing that has happened to me then my 2nd i was 18 and my 3rd 19 but unfortunitly i lost my bub at 12 weeks, but people need to mind there own business they frown upon teen pregnancy but at least we took reasponsability and didnt just kill our babies by abortion

Cara - posted on 03/12/2009

176

22

12

people seem to think that they have the right to judge and offer their opinion when they have no idea, i wads on the pill as well.. figured it was fine that i missed one once that month but took a pt to be sure! not that i ever regret the choice i made as my son is amazing and i love being a mom. just frusterates me that people feel free to stick their nose in MY business... i couldnt imagine saying something like that to someone i didnt know~!!

Chelsey - posted on 03/12/2009

3

0

0

i have gotten alot of"you know about adopion right?" and the other day i was at the bus stop waiting to go to work,and i was holding my daughter and someone leaned out of their car and yelled "you should have gotten an abortion"  I think people who arent in the position are easier to judge

[deleted account]

Oh, and I saw the greatest maternity Tee somewhere. "Yes, I'm pregnant again. Yes I know what causes it. No I dont have too many." I got a good laugh about it but never bought it. I should have with my third.

[deleted account]

Forget it. Once you become pregnant and have children everyone thinks they are entitled to their opinion about you as a mother. Everyone from your parents to a stranger passing you on the street. Usually my response is "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Whether they are commenting on how many children I have or why I got married "so young." They don't really know what to say in response so the subject is dropped. lol.

Beth - posted on 03/11/2009

9

2

1

I get that too much ! I just say it was my choice, and I am a better mum then many mothers in their 20s are ! At least Ill be able to run around and play football with my son when hes older !!

Maz - posted on 03/11/2009

2

9

0

I so know what you mean, i had the nurse at my doctor surgery tell me to go see her after i had my son to get birth control as i obviously needed it!!! Not impressed at all. My son was planned and i told her to keep her nose out!!

Tiffany - posted on 03/10/2009

179

23

23

wow.. I can totally realate to this..

I found out I was pregnant 3 months before I turned 16, it is pathetic how many people I have ran into for the last 5 months who feel comfortable adding in their little "..thats what birth control is for" .. life is all about mistakes, all that matter's is how we deal with these mistakes.

Ally - posted on 03/10/2009

7

26

2

i totally agree with u!! i get it loads! and the worst bit was i was on the pill i just was dumb enough to think it wouldnt happen to me if ide missed one! but my daughter is amazing and i wouldnt go back in tym and change a thing! people are too judgemental when they shouldnt be! my dad even gets pissed off because if we all go out somewhere people assume that chloe is my mum and dads not mine! and hes too embaressed to correct them! loving your photo btw!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms