my son isnt wanting to learn the word please but will learn bad words how do i change that?

Misty - posted on 09/10/2009

Don't make a fuss over the bad words,when he says a bad word;tell him thats potty talk and take him to the toilet or trash can and tell him this is where potty language is said.You also praise him when he says the good words!!If you don't make a big deal about the bad words,he'll lose interest in them and that means don't laugh.He'll use it to get attention!

Heaven - posted on 09/10/2009

well... if he's wanting something and won't say please.. tell him to say please first.. and if he refuses.. dont give him what he wants UNTIL he says please. And the whole bad word thing is.. he's hearing it from others and he cant help that cause thats what he hears, so he wants to repeat them.. but you need to keep him away from that. and refrain from saying bad words yourself.

Jessica - posted on 09/09/2009

Quoting Tanisha:

we dont cus around him my parents do!! nd they encourage it more then we do!! see he knos how to act when hes with me nd his dad but when he goes to my parents hes got this thing where he can do whatever he wants just like when it comes to wanting something he points to it and if he doesnt get it at that moment he crys nd crys

than you need to tell your parents not to cus around him.. nd babys/children in general always act different around certain ppl it's in there nature to do that! nd with the wanting thing he's going to cry nd cry nd cry until he gets his way but don't give in to your decsions cause he's going to be like that the rest of his life exspecting everyone to give him what he wants!! My suggestion on all of this is tell ppl aorund you what you are doing with you son that way they can help you out to.. nd with the no thing make sure u let others who watch him know that u are teaching him the word "no" nd to not give him what he wants... with other ppls help it'll go alot smothier.. but don't exspect him to changes his ways right away it'll be like this for a while.. children always go threw this stage... just stan ferm nd be the parent not the friend... good luck to you!!

Tanisha - posted on 09/09/2009

yea we went to court over all of this and daktoa biological father sign all the stuff and they gave me the choice of either signing all the parers of i have to get a lawyer nd i couldnt do that!!!nd yea i kno its not the stuff that he needs its just that i dont have n income right now nd chase is n school nd only works 3 days a week other then that hes n the worship team at church

Krista - posted on 09/09/2009

Wow! I have a good idea how you must be feeling. I would encourage you to keep doing everything in your power to get him back and know for sure that he doesn't need "stuff", he needs you. Babies need their mommies. How do you know they have guardianship? Did you ever go to court?

Tanisha - posted on 09/09/2009

trust me it feels like it!!! nd i hate it more then n e thing!!! no i was having hardship nd i moved out of my parents house nd they they took him nd called me n unfit mother nd won... idk how or ne thing all i kno is is now they have gardianship of him

Tanisha - posted on 09/09/2009

well i have him at least 10 hours a day 5 days a week nd theres only 2 days that i dont get to c him unless i also get him sundays!! but i mean idk wat does on bhind my back but i do kno that when its time to drop him off there he crys nd crys all the time

Krista - posted on 09/09/2009

If you don't mind my asking....why don't you have him all the time? Are they babysitting or something?

Tanisha - posted on 09/09/2009

im hoping soon but they change the rules all the time between my nd him haveing to have a place for a while then proving it to them then the courts then there r days that she just wants to give him back!! nd i mean the only reason i dont have him now is because i kno that i cant take care of him entirely the way he needs it

Krista - posted on 09/09/2009

If your parents are a counter productive influence to the way you wan to raise your son, it most definately is the right thing to do, at least for a while, so you can correct and improve his behavior. Also, you'll need to become resolute in your right to determine how he is raised. You are no longer your parents child, you are now your childs mother and must excersize that right and enforce the boundaries you put in place. How long until you are reunited?

Denise - posted on 09/09/2009

I have that problem alot with my parent and grandparents. When my daughter who is 3 1/2 goes to her G-parents or Nana and Papas she comes home and treats me bad cuz I have rules. I have told her she cant go if she comes home and is mean and I have also talked to parents and told them they wont get to see her ALONE if they cant make her behave properly. That has seemed to help alot

Tanisha - posted on 09/09/2009

yea we might have to do that but as of now my parents have gardianship of my son till my nd my bf get a house nd everything! and its like no matter what i say even when i did have my own house they didnt seem to care about that at all i mean just like with the smoking around him they didnt care nd they still dont nd now my son has tubes because of that. but mine and chases plan was once we got him back that we would eliminate them compleatly until holidays...but is that the right thing to do

Krista - posted on 09/09/2009

If you aren't living with your parents I would encourage you to limit his time with them, at least in their home. Have them come to your home for visits and set boundaries with them. YOU are his mother and have every right to set boundaries on your parents behavior in YOUR home with YOUR son. Not so much in their home, though you can try. I know about this grandparent influence garbage and the only real solution is to keep in on your turf.

Tanisha - posted on 09/09/2009

we dont cus around him my parents do!! nd they encourage it more then we do!! see he knos how to act when hes with me nd his dad but when he goes to my parents hes got this thing where he can do whatever he wants just like when it comes to wanting something he points to it and if he doesnt get it at that moment he crys nd crys

Krista - posted on 09/09/2009

He needs to hear good words more than he hears bad words. Children pick up on everything. Television, music, relatives, friends, etc.... Try to find out where the bad words /influencesare coming from and ELIMINATE them. We have to model the behavior we want from our children. If we have an "anything goes" attitude in the environments we provide for our children and then expect them to behave in a way that is contrary to what we have provided them, we are beating our heads against a brick wall, and what's worse, we are hypocrites.