New moms new friends

Mikhelle - posted on 11/27/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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Hi im 19 and I had a baby girl 2 months ago. When I got pregnant I didnt realize how it would affect my relationships with even my close's of friends. I cant really relate to them anymore. They all party and do things I no longer want to do since becoming a mom. Are there any moms in similar situations and how have you gone about finding friends who also have kids?

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Andrea - posted on 12/08/2009

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well after i had my baby girl... i didnt have time for myself, friends or any communication to the outside world.... i kinda lost my frinds because i couldnt go out, and i felt so bad because of it.. but i love my girl and i would just leave her home because i wanted to go out partying.... i already had friends that had kids so thats good..

Aleisha - posted on 12/05/2009

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i just look for trustworthy moms who would also be good friends...it really helps to find other new moms like you or close to your age who are doing right by their child..

SHalene - posted on 12/05/2009

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omq..yess.i thought i was the only one..my friends do the same..partyy and get drunk. i was never really into that stuff but we was always cool.now that i have a baby its like im wackk.lol i just think iam wayy to mature for them. i have my own apartment and live with my fiance. they all sleep with differernt men and go to different clubs. i really dont talk to anyone..bc finding friends who are in the same situation as you isnt easy. and they try to use me bc i have a house and a car..its so upsetting..

Kari - posted on 12/04/2009

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your not the only one i have given up on my old friends for being "childish" if i should say the only thing that is important in my life is my daughter and thats all that should be and then family and then relationships. i would love to go out and party like i used to but now it only takes 4 beers and im pretty tipsy and its not worth the guilt i feel for leaving my daughter with a sitter it does not matter to me if i do only do that maybe once a month

Kimberley - posted on 12/04/2009

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hi im 18 and have twin boys at 6 months and a girl thts nearly 2......i dnt speak to many of my friends since havin my daughter all i do all day is look after my kids but i dnt mind i love them 2 bits im not bothered about partying and things like tht.....add me to yur circle if you want....

Kelcie - posted on 12/04/2009

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Hi, im 18 and and most of my close friends have either moved away or i barely talk to them anymore because they go out drinking or stuff like that and i even quit smoking so that i could have a healthy baby and i really miss them, and i still have a couple friends that i dont hang around because they party all the time, the only friend that i have well i guess you could call them friends is my sister in law she has a kid but she still drinks, and they are also older than me by like 6 years or so so i always feel left out

Charity - posted on 12/02/2009

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i feel the same way!! I am 18 and have a 5 month old little bot named brycen! I feel like i have nothing in common with my friends anymore and i just sit at home alone all the time with the baby because his father works nights.... i just wish i had someone that would come over and spend time with me and just hang out so i am not ALWAYS alone:(

Jessica - posted on 12/02/2009

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Hi, I am Jessica Pacheco, and I have a 22 month old baby boy. After I found out I was pregnant alot of my friends did there own thing and I couldn't really relate to them. But now that you are a mother you will realize who are you true friends and who have stuck by your side. I did lose alot of my friends but I was greatful to have my girls stick with me and hopefully you can find those who are really there for you and your daughter, those are your friends.

Kaela - posted on 12/02/2009

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I am also 19 and my daughter is almost 6 months old. I dont have many friends that want to hangout just because of that reason, they want to party and stay out late. I am unable to do that because I have to be a mom. They do not understand that bedtimes a must and I need to sleep because I need to be up at 7am with her. I would find a group that you can hangout with(moms group) or something that you can do. Find other local young moms and talk to them, they can understand you better. Its not the easiest thing, but you can find those who understand you. You will loose friends because of being a mom but you can also gain friends. Go out there!

Mell - posted on 12/02/2009

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Im 19 now and had my son at 17 while i was in college after i finished my course and had my son things werent so bad i still had a few of my old friends but 2 years down the line and everyone of them is in another town at university, its hard to find new friends around your own age with children even if its just people to talk to who can relate to what your saying, so for now im a stay at home mum and the most social life i have is facebook and going out with family which isnt all bad to be honest but some new friends my own age would be a plus

Maria - posted on 12/01/2009

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I'm glad that I'm not the only one that feels the way that I do! I'm 17 (be 18 in 3 days) and due in 13 weeks with my son. Ever since I have been pregnant, my friends just got shady. They kept inviting me to parties, which logically I always declined. They just started getting p****d at me because I wouldn't hang out with them. Obviously, I wasn't going to go party with them, so sadly I have lost most of my friends. The other friends I have, I feel like they only hang out with my for the attention of being with someone who is pregnant. (Lets face it, pregnant women/girls almost always get a stare down from other people.) I don't think they actually realize that this is a HUGE change in my life. And that in 13 weeks, I will have someone more important to take care of, and that I won't be able to go hang out whenever. So, sad as it sounds.. I will probably end up losing those friends as well. For those of us who have been pregnant, or are pregnant.. we start getting mother-like not long after finding out that we are pregnant. It's just something that if you haven't been pregnant, you won't understand. As far as making new friends? I go to an ALC now to finish my senior year, and basically every female there has a baby, or is pregnant. Yes, some of then are 'not such great people' if you know what I mean. Drugs. And such. I just keep my guard up when talking to them, and have found several that I know will stick around after I have Gabriel. :) It's tough, tho. out in the public. To find new friends. People are soo judgmetal to young mothers. I do wish you the best in luck. :)

Allyson - posted on 11/30/2009

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yea. i got pregnant when i was a junior in high school and none of my friends had kids and i ended up going to a high school for teen parents and i hardly talk to any of my old friends anymore

Ashley - posted on 11/30/2009

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Im 19 and had my son 4 months ago, and i feel like my friends have abandoned me, for the most part. They will come by for an hour, and not really say much and leave. I have a hard enough time making friends, adding a baby and married at 19 doesnt help. So instead of a social life, i sit at home and take pictures of my son and post them on FB nonstop. Hobbies help!

Monica - posted on 11/30/2009

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i am 20 i had twin girls 15 months ago i was 18 and just graduating from high school i lost all of my friends except for one. i learned that theres a lot of groups out there for mos they have groups for teen moms as well. when i moved to nortch carolina with my husband because hes in the service i deidnt know anyone at all and i was 16 hours away from all of my family so what i did was i looked up the local groups and got involved and now that i am back home while my husbands deployed i still keep in touch and i have joined more groups here so get into a group it will help a lot and you will meet a lot of people in the same situation that you are in as well

Christine - posted on 11/30/2009

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Hey I was there once too. I was 18 when my first was born. He is 16 now, but I can relate to how tough it is not knowing anyone who has children to understand you. I would say get involved with a baby and me type thing. I did and it was awesome. Other moms there could possibly help you through some tough times by giving you ideas and even a shoulder to cry on if you needed it.

Jemma - posted on 11/29/2009

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hi i am 16 and i had my baby a wekk before my 16th birthday..i fell the same way, i am just really happy i had freinds that stuck by me the whole way

Christina - posted on 11/29/2009

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I was 17 When I had my baby girl, I had also just moved to a completely new place an hour away from where I had graduated from high school. Soo all my friends, who have also had children do not live near by.
Im 21 now and I am finally starting to meet people. I should have done the whole library thing a long time ago, that helps. There are sooo many free programs to do there, I was always soo shy still am but finally I got tired of being alone at home bored. The library is a great place.
Also when your daughter gets in prek or school that's another great way to meet people.
GOOD LUCK.

Frankee - posted on 11/29/2009

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try finding out what mums groups or playgroups are in ur local area. theyre great to meet new mums/friends who understand what ur going thru and are in similar situations as u.

DOMONIQUE - posted on 11/28/2009

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Im in that very same situation. Im 18 and my baby is only 2 weeks and through out my pregnancy holding on to friendships have been hard since we dont do much together. At my hospital Kaiser they have this mommy and me class for birth to 6 months and then from 6 months to a year. I plan on going to it this wednesday... GoodLuck Mama

Amanda - posted on 11/28/2009

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I have a hand full of friends that are my true friends. I had my party friends and my wonderful friends that I still have. If they really wanted to stay friends with you they would find the time to hang out. It sucks, but nothing you can really do about it.

Brittany - posted on 11/28/2009

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I had the same problem. I also got married and no one was is the same boat as i was. I just learned that i didn't want those people around my son.

Jennifer - posted on 11/28/2009

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Hey I'm 23 and I was 20 when I brought my little girl into this world and I felt the same exact way you are all of my friends seemed to quit involving me in their functions and when I called them to see if they wanted to hang out they always had an excuse.I honestly still to this day even though my daughter is 3 years old now think that it was because they didnt want to have to lug a baby around with them too.Now I have four little girls because out of the kindness of my heart I took on my fiances three nieces when their mom passed away unexpectedly (Ages-10yr,4yr,7mth) I took them on in May and I'm dealing with the same thing all over again the way I look at it is.If they cant accept my kids then they cant accept me because my kids are a part of me whether they like it or not and that goes for old friends or new friends.Its nice to have new friends but it has been hard to find new ones besides on the computer through sites like this because of the fact that I have four little girls.

Deanna - posted on 11/28/2009

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I'm in the same boat. Yet I'm not quit 19 yet. I will be though in 9 days! I had my daughter about 2.5 months ago (Sept. 17th) and like only 2 of my friends still wanna hang with me. They all go out and party but I can't. And I don't to any more. I pretty much stay in my house all day with my daughter.

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Yes, I understand you and I'm 26! Even since I've gotten married its so different. Then once I had a baby all of a sudden it was like I wasn't invited to things. I hardly ever saw my friends unless I drove there, which isn't always the easiest to do since all the baggage you gotta bring with you everywhere but i would do it simply because i had to see people!!! To make it worse, we just relocated, so now even the friends I did have are far away... that's why I spend so much time on Circle of Moms. Its my way of connecting with other moms since I don't know anyone here.

Katie - posted on 11/27/2009

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I am also 19 years old and i just had a baby boy 3 months ago...my friends were also the party type and they want to invite me all the time but i have to turn them down alot. so i know what your goin through...how about making friends who have kids?? that is a good question..i just moved to an Airforce base with my husband and so i am new here and i dont know anyone. But i do know that there are groups out there for the mom and baby.( At least they do here on base) Im pretty sure they got them kind of groups somewhere....Good luck to you and your baby girl!! :-)

Lacy - posted on 11/27/2009

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Hey,its nice to finally hear someone else in my shoes, I am 19 also and had my daughter almost 8 months ago, I know a lot of people who have kids at my age, but it seems like most(not to judge)just werent ready to be parents and arent doing their best, they are all out still partying and living their life like nothing ever happened,I love my daughter to pieces and spend every moment I can with her. The closest people I know who have kids are my family(well ones that I actually want to be around). I probably sound ridiculous,but yea its tough and relationships change,I still am looking for some people who have children and are young also that way I can relate. Hope you find some friends, if you ever wanna talk let me know!:)

Tamara - posted on 11/27/2009

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hi i am 19 and i had a baby boy 2 n 1/2 months ago, all my friend dont have kids and they dont ask me to hang out anymore not that i care because i love just spending all my time in the world with my son. i am happier with my son but i admit i do need to socialise with other mum's and i , myself dont know anyone so what i do is go along to the drop in centre's and just relax with the mum's and bub's there. my friends that do have kids are in differant state's.

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