no one i can relate to

Kim - posted on 01/06/2011 ( 56 moms have responded )

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Hello my name is kim and im 18 years old. i got pregnet when i was 15 and had my son when i was 16. he is going to be 2 in feb. the thing is thought that i dont really have any friends anymore. i am not in school anymore and the friends i had from there dont talk to me anymore. i think it is because i had a baby. i feel like i cant relate to most people my age since i had a baby young. im looking for some new friends. someone that i can talk to about my child and they can understaind what im going through.

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Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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I'm Sarah! I'm 17, got pregnant at 15, had my daughter at 16 and she'll be 1 in march :)
I also lost all my school friends, they were supportive for the last half of my pregnancy and then once i had my baby they realised i wasn't fun anymore and all just left me.
Because we were forced into growing up, there is no way we can relate to their childish ways of thinking. Its hard to be torn apart from everyone, but thats just the way it is and one day they will catch up to your level of maturity and come to you for advice :)
I definitely know what you are going through! So yeah lets be friends :D i don't know anyone else as young as me with a baby either.
Do you have a young mums group? Mine helped me through so much! They are all like 21 so i'm still the baby of the group but its good having friends a little bit close in age :) Have a look around your area for some :) where are you from? xxxx

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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I got pregnant with my daughter at 15, had her at 16, and now she will be 5yrs old on the 26th and I also have a son who will be 7m on the 10th, now I am 21 and engaged. things come around and get better! I was in your shoes just a short while ago.
Feel free to add me on facebook... Sarh Marie Snarski.
My advice is put your son in daycare it will be a great experience for him! He needs it for social development along with a lot of other developmental needs! Go back to high school and get your diploma, you will not be able to provide a great life for him with out it!!! Also, get a job even if it is just a part-time job. My mom had to force me to put my daughter in daycare, but I finally did it when she was 9m old. I graduated high school at 17yrs old, then went onto college. I was 17yrs old working 2 jobs, going to college, and raising my daughter on my own. It is very hard, but it is what needs to be done! Now, my fiancee can support us until CJ is at least a yr old and then I will be going back to work, which I can't wait!!! I LOVE to work and have been doing so since I was about 10yrs old. I am going to be registering for college course SOON, or at least I plan to. HAHA. I'm kind of a slacker lately!

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Kami - posted on 02/01/2011

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Hey, I'm Kami. Im 19 and my son is 2 y/o. I can relate to this bc when I was 16 my nana made me move with her so I lost touch with most of my friends and didnt really have friends at the new school. I got pregnant at 16 and had my lil one @ 17. I really don't have anyone that I can hang out with bc either the people my age don't have kids or they have kids but are just too immature and still act like "boys" are more important than their kid. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can add me on facebook. I will be glad to talk! =)

Alisha - posted on 02/01/2011

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See if there is a pregnancy center near your house and they may be able to hook you with with a support group or something. Or look online for mommy groups and that's a great way to make friends who also have kids. You're not alone!

Zaidy - posted on 01/19/2011

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Lucky me. I need a friend as well. I'm 22 but I also lot my friends cause I just can't hang and party all night everyday and weekends. It sucks but I don't need people like that in my life. Neither do you. You could add me if you'd like. We can keep each other company... at least here. :)

Donna - posted on 01/19/2011

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Hello Kim, You sure are not alone in the world my friend. I am going to be 50 in july. I got pregnant also when I was 15 yrs. old and had my beautiful Son 2 mths. before turning 16. He is now 33 and is married with 2 of the most beautiful Grandbabies in the world. And no I am not braggin, ok maybe a small bit. LOL Please feel free to contact me. I did not finish school, I finally went and studied for the GED and got my Diploma in 2002. Maybe you should go for that. It is an investment for you and your Son's future. You grew up faster then your friends. Don't be mad at them for not understanding.

Olivia - posted on 01/19/2011

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You can always add me & we can chat!

My name is Olivia. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 17. She just turned 2 last December. And I am pregnant with number 2 (a little boy) he is due in about 6 weeks.

I don't have a lot of the friends I had when I was in high school; but i think thats for the better. you grow up, because you have a kid and others around you don't. But I do miss them sometimes.

Ashlie - posted on 01/18/2011

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hi kim, my nme is ashlie and i soo understand what u are going through when i was 15 i had a misscarrige and my friends were no comfort and when i was 17 i got pregnant with my oldest and when i had him my friends had no time for me they were just into partying and that is when i realized i just have my self to talk to.but now that some of them are having kids i think they understand what i was goig thriugh but anyways if u ever need to talk about any thing just email me ashlieolguin@gmail.com or im on facebook by ashlie olguin

Samantha - posted on 01/17/2011

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I also had a son at 16 and i know what your going threw, my sons birthday is also in febuary.

Ashlee - posted on 01/15/2011

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Kim my daughter Mariah had her baby Camden on Aug 23 her 16th bday, she is going through all that stuff now. I was think that you could help her as well. You have been through some of it already. her name on facebook is Mariah Greer

Peta - posted on 01/13/2011

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and to add to my comment, im currently 22 i had my baby girl, 2 days after my 18th birthday. She is now 4 as of the 5th of dec 2010. i got wierd looks and had no support quit my job and left school (due to other kids teasing me n teachering trying to support me but it felt like "special treatment"). I now have a job and am looking at study i have a bf who works full-time n was supporting my child ( she isnt his) and me. I still have school friends ALot of them have studied or whatever but i know who my true friends are and im hoping i can support them when they have kids of their own (im the only one in my group from school who has had a kid) my friends understand and i try to see them asap, They are all Aunty/Uncles to my daughter n she is the most spoilt child ever bcause she has something like 15 auntys(starting at the age of 9+) /7 uncles (starting at like age 11+). (not all are family or related). we have alot of love n support. life is diffucult sometime but my daughter always puts a smile on my face ;) goodluck to all of you guys!

Peta - posted on 01/13/2011

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for some of you bout the government payment in austraila u can apply for a thing called Jet with centrelink, if your going back to work or studying it mean child care wil only cost you $2 dollars a day if you able for it. its worth looking in too. If your not able for it centrelink has a thing call CCS or something its a rebate thing it discounts your child care by how much you earn or whatever. So say daycare is $60 a day, if your an %100 benefit you get it for $15 dollars a day i hope this helps some of you out their.

Lindsey - posted on 01/13/2011

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Like you Liz, i'm 24 and will be 25 the 25th of march. I had my daughter when i was 23, before that i was out clubbin, had 3 jobs just to keep up my spending habits i was never home, i was gettin drunk, gettin high, i had no care in the world and i had ALOT of friends. but then when i got preggo they came around every once in a while and after K'lynn was born they were gone. the only friends i have are my parents, family, and my boyfriend and not to mention K'lynn. i dont go out anymore and if i do i have my sidekick (K'lynn) with me. when you get pregnant you will definitley find out who your true friends are. I dont have a facebook but you can message me on here anytime you feel like you need to talk to someone!

Gabby - posted on 01/13/2011

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Hello :)
I am 18, got pregnant when I was 17 and had my little girl October 20th ! :)
I have friends who left, but I was lucky enough to have my really close friends stick around.
I have friends and family who are completely supportive of my situation and I am VERY greatful for that !
I couldnt imagine doing it on my own either, my fiancee was there the whole pregnancy and is still here for us, we had been living together for a year when we found out I was pregnant with our daughter :)
I am alone with her alot though because he works and goes to college.
and I can't imagine leaving my daughter alone at 3 weeks old. she is 3 months old and I have only been out without her twice, she was with her grandparents and I was onbly gone for 2 hours, plus the whole time I was out I couldnt stop thinking about her ! :P
If you want another friend you can add me on facebook, there are alot of gabby wagner's so you can look up my e-mail. gabby.wagner.2024@hotmail.co.uk :)
and if you want to actually add me on msn I have a sperate account for just chatting with people Trooper_gabby_wagner_2024@hotmail.com

Holley - posted on 01/12/2011

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I know somewhat on what you all are talking about. But i am 23 found out that i was preg at 20 had him at 21 and now he will be 3 in may. I know what u r talking about but if you would like to know more just send me a message ok. But if you all need someone to talk to i am here for all of you.

Kym - posted on 01/12/2011

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Hey.. My Name is also Kym, I'm 18 and I had my son when I was 15 (fell pregnant at 14) My son is going to be 3 on the 22nd feb... I also lost all my high school friends after I had my son but yuu realise who yuur REAL friends are after yuu have a baby.. I go to play groups for all ages but Im still the youngest person there but alot of older mothers look up to me.. But remember yuu do need time for yuur self =) even if its just half an hour or an hour it does help.. Add me on facebook!! Kym Whittaker

xx

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2011

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well im not as youing but i was 19 when i got pregnant and 21 now. I dont really have that many friends, well no true ones except for my daughters father/my husband...if you want i would be happy to talk to you if you wanna add me. How old is your son?

Jessica - posted on 01/12/2011

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i am right there with ya. my name is jessica im 20 and i have a 17 month old boy and a 3 month old boy. i have lost all my friends from school, if ya need to talk, im here.

Aubrie - posted on 01/12/2011

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heyy im Aubrie (: Im 18 will be 19 Jan 27th ! I have 2 babies my son Anthonnii hes 15 months! n my daughter Jemma who is almost 3 months! Im done with school, graduated! But have lost tons of friends as well. You can add me on Facebook Aubrie Long (:

Heather - posted on 01/12/2011

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hi :) my name's heather i got pregnant when i was 15 too i understand what you mean about people from school my close friend have stayed in contact through texting me but i only ever see one friend from school really. It's upsetting really when you loose so much all att once too. i'm 17 but i go to college yet i feel like the people in college are childish now but none have a baby its so difficult to find someone who understands. where do you live?

Rhyllie - posted on 01/12/2011

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hi, im rhyllie i was 16 when i got pregnant and i had my daughter when i was 16 also.. i got paid out by most of my friends when i was pregnant.. but now they all have babies i dont to talk any of them anymore.. it would be great to chat

Thereasa - posted on 01/11/2011

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Hi there, your not alone i was 14 when i fell pregnant with my first child. i was 3 weeks off my 15th birthday when i had him. your not alone i know what its like to lose friends it really hard ( cos u find out they werent really a friend) but if brave it a smile think postive ( easier said than done). i do still have friends from school some are distance from me some of them have had children themselfs and im still friends with them but they werent no way near as young as i was. when i would go out in the streets pushing a pram i used to get some really bad looks sometimes older people would come up and be really horrible. all i used to say i know i am i am happy for it i accept the responceably so thannks for your comment then they would walk away. that happened twice in auckland in the shopping center. i am 22 turning 23 in a few months i have a 4 and half year old aswell now my oldest is is 8 soon,im married to their dad but i do fully understand it gets easier as it goes along i promise! where abouts are you in the world? im in brisbane australia now im from new zealand. Chin up :)

Tammi - posted on 01/11/2011

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I am 44 and have 2 teen daughters who had babys. I just started a blog amd would love you girls to come visit my brand new page. I hope for it to be a support system for girls just like you. I will be adding a lot of fun stuff in the next week or 2 and dont worry about the name its not only adoptions. Its about teen moms and being supportive. Grandmasamazingjourney@blogging.com

CARRIE - posted on 01/10/2011

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I got pregnant with my daughter when i was 15 had her when i was 16 she just turned 5 im 21 u can add me on facebook Carrie Norton and u can talk to me about stuff

Marcia - posted on 01/10/2011

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hey lovely i can relate to u. i was in the same situation, i got preg when i was 15 had my son at 16 and left school etc. im not 20 and my son just turned four n its only been the last yr really where ive gotten good friendships back as i eventually went back to tafe to study where i made new friends. but i talk to no one i went to high school with. feel free to chat to me if u like. :-)

Sarah - posted on 01/08/2011

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Sarh, the prices here are roughly double that!
No, we use kilograms and litres :)

Jami - posted on 01/07/2011

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I know the feeling! I'm not quite as young as you, but pretty close! I got pregnant at 17, had my son at 18! I just celebrated my 20th birthday so I'm finally not a teenager anymore! yay ( and no, it doesn't feel ANY different since I became an adult earlier in life LOL! ) I moved away when I got married since my husband is in the navy. So I learned really quick that fake friends will come and go, they will use you, and you will get over it eventually! I keep up with my highschool friends on facebook, although none of us are really close anymore! Most of them are having babies now, and coming to me for advice, so that other post is so true! But I had a really good friend for a while at this duty station, then her husband got orders to another state and I'll probably never get to see her again... sad day but i know that i'll eventually make new friends! you just have to have a positive outlook! if you ever need someone to talk to or advice you can add me on facebook! facebook.com/imajx hope you feel better soon!!! chin up! you're a mother, those old friends have nothing on you!!! dont let it bother you, they don't matter i promise!!

Tricia - posted on 01/07/2011

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hey i'm tricia i got pregnant when i was 17 had my oldest daughter when i was 18 she turned 4 in nov. and i'm now married and have been for almost 3 years. my husband and i have our 4 year old, our middle daughter who is 20 months, and our baby who is 5 months. i don't have many if any friends and haven't since i had my oldest daughter but i'm fine with it b/c i have my husband and 2 friends that i'm close with somewhat!!....i am now 22!!...if you want to be friends just chat me up lol!!

Shelby - posted on 01/07/2011

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Hi, I'm Shelby. I got pregnant at 17 and had my daughter when I was 18 years old. My daughter will now be one on the 10th of this month. I went from having tonnes of friends to having my boyfriend and 2 other friends, that actually didnt start off as my good friends. I didn't finish school on time, But I am now going to college and taking the LPN ( Licensed Practical Nurse) course in 2013( there is a 2 year waiting list) so for now I am taking classes just to take them and be prepared for the LPN program. It's hard to be a teen mom becuase we have to grow up so much faster than all our friends did, but I honestly think its probably one of the best decisions I have made. I love being a mom, even if i lots some friends along the way. If the couldn't stick with me after I had the baby, they really were not my true friends like they claimed they were.

Emma - posted on 01/07/2011

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hi i fell pregnant at 17 had my daughter at 18 she now 4 i know how hard it is all my school friends i had lost touch with me im now 23 got two kids lil boy who 3 in oct it was hard but i made load friend going to young mums group round where i live i understand how u feel i was stuck in for over year when first had my lil girl it does get easier

Vicki - posted on 01/07/2011

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Hiya hun yes I can relate to this too! I was 18 when I got pregnant and turned 19 about 3 weeks after my daughter was born.

She's 2 in 8 days and i love her to pieces but thinking about it, I dont have any friends either since becoming pregnant. They all kinda distanced themselves.

Im the only one in my circle of friends who has a child and I think thats why i dont get invited out anymore or they dont call round.

At the min Im just concentrating on being a good mummy to my little angel and once all my friends start having babies they might realise how lonely it is when everyone desserts them too, then they might get in touch again but if not, their loss and ill find myself some new decent friends! xx

Aimee - posted on 01/07/2011

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i got preg when i was 18 and had my daughter at 19 i lost alot of friends but that just proves they wasnt true friends!! im now 20 and preg with my second child if you want to chat you can add me xx

Ambyr - posted on 01/06/2011

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Im ambyr :) I got pregnant a month after I turned 17 and I had my daughter 2 months before I turned 18. Theeeennnn when she was 2 in a half months old I found out I was pregnant again =S. He was born exactly 1 week before my daughter turned 1. The only friend I have has two kids aswell haha. I completly lost contact with my bff because we went seperate ways with our lives. She always said she wanted what I have but then couldnt understand why I couldnt go out to a bar when ever she wanted too. I am 19 now and I am in the process of getting my g.e.d. then off to more school to be an LPN.

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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Oh yea! I knew her middle name was Jade! haha ;)
REALLY?! Wow! It is great if you find a good child care, it helps a LOT with their development especially socially.
That is crappy they do that to the "juniors".
How much more expensive is your food?
For some of our basic food it is roughly
$3.35 gallon of milk
$1.60 dozen eggs
$1.75 loaf of bread (about a 16oz-20oz)
$0.60 Yogurt (6oz cup)
$2.50-4.50 per box of name brand cereal (12oz-24oz)
$1.20 20oz-24oz bottle of name brand soda
Do you guys use oz and lbs?
Ummm..... I am drawing a blank for some reason. haha.

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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Sarh :) yeah i know lol shes Ceili Jade :) CJ!
Thats good you get free child care! i think we get cheap child care but putting your baby in child care seems to be really frowned upon! I think its awful that people see it that way here but thats how it is.
Oh wow its actually illegal here for anyone to get paid so little! Unless its part time and you're not working the full 8 hour day. I think the junior wage needs to be improved, if Deon earned more than like $650 a fortnight, i wouldn't need to get government payments. He works 10 hour days and sometimes works saturdays and gets paid half of what his colleagues get.
You should move to Australia! I love it here :) not that i've ever been anywhere else, but from what i've heard its a lot more equalized than other places.
Our food and stuff is more expensive than America so thats pretty shit.

Liz - posted on 01/06/2011

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Hi, although I'm a bit older, will be 24 on the 10th I know what you mean. I got pregnant with my b/g twins at 20 and had them when I was 21. They will be three this June and our youngest will be a year in July. Most of my friends disappeared after I was pregnant. A few still hang around, but it's not the same as it was before. They just don't get it. Feel free to add me on facebook, or message me if you want to talk.

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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CJ because his first name and then his second middle name is Joseph.. Cade Antonio Joseph! What is Ceili's middle name?
Dan does that too sort of... I'll change it and then no never mind.
Oh, sorry. The organization will also provide free child care.
Ok, but still $600 for two weeks! lol. I was making that working, but damn never just sitting at home taking care of baby.
I asked my hubby if we could move to Australia and he said no. :(

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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oh sorry, a fortnight is 2 weeks.
man thats shit!
our exchange rate is about the same at the moment, i think your dollar is like our 98cents. I think the huge financial crash hit you guys a lot harder than it hit us, maybe thats why? i dont know but thats ridiculous!

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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You get $600 a week (my hubby said that is what a fortnight is)?!?!?! How do you guys get paid so much?! Is the economy bad? I'd love to be making $600 a week!
I'm on unemployment because I got laid off after having baby because I wasn't there long enough to receive maternity leave. I get $165/week!

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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i love that you call him CJ :) i call ceili CJ too lol
yeah dads can be a bit hopeless sometimes, great dads but too nervous to help lol. deon starts to change her nappy and then goes umm actually, you can do it LOL!

wait, so a single mum with a baby who can't work or do community service coz theyre looking after their baby gets nothing? i get $600 a fortnight and i don't work at all! (because i can't work)

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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I know!! EXACTLY!! The hubby made me leave CJ with my mom when he was about a month old so he could take me out because I needed a break. Having a sassy 4.5yr old and then a newborn. Don't worry, Dan hasn't done much with CJ. I think guys are nervous because they are so little... He hasn't changed one single diaper and hasn't had him alone other then me taking a shower or cooking. He just started playing with him not too long ago.

$7.50. As young moms here we don't get money from the government. We have to do community service (like working at a food pantry or cleaning apartment buildings that the organization sets up) and then we get like $650/month, but any mom of any age can get that. If the father and mother are together and the father is working then you can't get it.
How much do you get?

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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omg! the minimum wage here, for a full time worker 21 years or older is $14.31. the minimum wage for juniors and for part time workers is a lot less. i think $8.50 is the least a junior worker can get paid per hour working at a take away shop or something, but the average is about $10. Thats what i got paid working at a pizza shop.
my payment is about $600 a fortnight for being a single mum.. single as in i don't live with my partner. He works like 10 hour days, in a high risk job but because hes only 17 he gets paid about the same as me.

Kim - posted on 01/06/2011

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mimum wage here is 7.25. it all depends on the case for how much you would get but prolly like 400 at the most

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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oh and if you don't mind me asking, what is the minimum wage there? and how much would a single mum get from the government?

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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:) haha the only thing that makes me a teenager is my inability to get up early in the morning lol
WHATTT! when Ceili was 3 weeks old, i hadn't even left the house with her yet! I left her with my mum (who i live with) when i needed sleep once but thats it! Ever since then i've done everything myself! Her dad has only just started helping out so yeah it was me 100% for nearly 9 months, and i don't live with him so its still me!
That is just crazy she would give her baby to someone she barely knows anymore! How does she know you're a good mum and you're capable of looking after her baby properly? I would have to watch how someone interacts with my baby on more that one occasion before i let them baby sit. its good she trusted you, not someone else, because you are a good mum! How does she know shes not handing her new born over to a druggo or something?

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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My fiancee wasn't very happy with me on New Years because he wanted to do something, but I don't know how because we had both of our kids, but he mainly wasn't happy because I was watching a friends 3wk old! He told me I should have told her no, but like I said I'd rather watch the baby then tell her no and her have someone else watch him that he wouldn't be safe with.

Sarh - posted on 01/06/2011

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You sure do not act like a 17yr old!!! I turned 21 just two months after I had my son and I didn't go out. I also didn't go out for New Years and he will be 7m on the 10th. My friend from high school asked me again tonight if I could baby sit her baby! I watched him on New Years and he was only 3wks!!!! That is insane! I haven't seen her since high school and she didn't even come in to make sure my house was clean and safe!!!!! Yea, I have 2 children, but that doesn't mean anything. You know. I don't mind watching her baby because I know he is safe with me and the rest of her friends and even her mother are all immature! She tells me all the time I am the only one she trusts with her baby, she doesn't even trust her mother.
I could have my mom watch my children to go out, but I don't unless it is the hubby and I going out for dinner or a movie or most of the time just to get shopping done quick.

Sarah, it is ridiculous! Here if you have a minimum wage job then it is not even worth going to work, you will pay more for child care then you will make!! It sucks!

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2011

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oh well at least you had fun! :) I had a really bad night, the boyfriend was angry at me all night for some reason.. i think because it was new years and he had no drinks, haha i had 1 drink and didnt share so he cracked it! i had 3 lots of plans and all of them fell through so that didnt help either. i guess i will get to go out one day!

Kim - posted on 01/06/2011

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yea i hate when parents always give there kids to there parents to watch. i also dont really get to go out ever. on new years i spent it with my son and i watched my sisters son also so she could go out. but it was still fun:D

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