not really over it

Deureka - posted on 08/07/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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okay so i had my baby at 16 and his father was the love of my life...but im still in love with him what to do to get over him

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That's a hard situation but like Ariel said you need to do what's best for you and your son. If your ex is actually denying your child, you need to move on. I don't think being a father can be picked up and dropped whenever he wants. If he is a father, he is a father and to everyone not just to certain people he wants to tell. That has to hurt your son to know that his father is hanging out with his half siblings but not him. Honestly, I think moving on is the best option. If you want the dad in his sons life and he actually wants to be around, then that's great but it doesn't sound like you should get back together. It kind of seems like he is just playing mind games with you because he can see you still have feelings for him. You are always going to care about him because he is the father of your child and because you shared so many firsts with him but I think you have to think about do you care about him as a boyfriend or just as your sons father? I noticed the two can kind of feel the same at times. I found it much easier to get over my sons father by just not speaking to him. If your ex is actually in your sons life that might be a bit difficult for you though. I also just kept telling myself that us being together would hurt my son more than it would help him. When you are with a lying, manipulating guy which is kind of how your ex sounds from the little bit you said, it leads to problems and heartache and it won't help anything for your child to see that. Just stay strong for you and your son and trust me, things will start falling into place eventually. Go ahead and message me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck with everything!

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Ariel - posted on 08/08/2010

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ahhh same here. but he wants to do his own thing and i think eventually boys grow up...just takes them longer than us! it's hard to move on but you gotta do whats best for you and your baby!

Deureka - posted on 08/08/2010

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but he was my first everything and my son is now 2 and he looks just like his dad, acts like him, and he doesnt eat the same foods as him...he is a spitting image of him...it just hurts me that his father denys him to everyone but me and his family and select friends...but everytime we are together someone comes up and says he said thats not his baby....and that hurts...i mean we have talked about being back together and it all sounds good but he has three other children younger than my child and he is always with them and spends time with them...but my child is the last one he thinks about but when he does it makes my sons day all he say is i love daddy...and then his father says yeah and i love mommy she just dont love me anymore...so i put up a brick wall to cover how i really feel and cry on the inside...because im not really over him...because i am still in love with him...i know this sounds crazy after everything i have said but i do love the father of my child because i know he has changed for a better...but he is not done changing and whe he is i think i could give him another chance

Ro-selina - posted on 08/08/2010

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u cant :( i get what u mean my daughters dad is a doodle like that! i hate him but im not quiet over him either :/ find a new man thats ur best hope thats what i did but still think about how it used to be every now and then i think once u have a baby to someone ur kind of emotionally tied to them probably for the rest of ur life? if its meant to be it will be even if it takes a while? it makes it worse when like my daughter baby is exactly like her daddy :(

Amber - posted on 08/08/2010

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you will always have a bit of love for him as he is the father of your child. it will be hard to move on but you will in due time.

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