NOT SINGLE?..... FEELING SINGLE?

Dusty - posted on 01/17/2012

I absolutely feel you on this one...my husband works 7 days/week, usually from 6am-8 or 9pm. It sucks, but I have found what works for us is if he actually asks for a day off once in awhile. For him, that's possible because he works for a family member. I'm not sure of your exact situation, but see what your fiance can do to get a day or two off during the month. Or even if he can leave early one day. It will help tremendously!! Good luck!

Tina - posted on 02/23/2011

My fiance works 16 hrs a day 7 days a week in the spring summer and fall so he is never home and I have felt that way as well. she is my entire world but there are days that I feel like a single mom. i dont have the financial burden of being single but I am the one that is with the baby 24 hrs a day. when she is sick its me running to ER or Dr they have actually asked me if the dad is around. It gets very tiring. I am so thankful that he works to provide for us so that I can go to school. My advice is invite a friend over so that you have another adult to talk to. Also call ur mom and ask her to watch baby for even an hour or two. I actually take Baby and stay with my mom for a few days at a time because Its a great way to get other adults in my life. and It gives me time to study

Karissa - posted on 02/22/2011

thanks everyone! :D

Catrina - posted on 12/02/2010

I feel it everyday, my boyfriend is constanly gone bc of his job and my life is just me and the daughter and we dont get out much because I cant drive and its almost nearly impossable for me to get little things done. I clean everyday, but I cant keep up with the laundry sometimes I cant keep up with dishes, and I feel like Im not getting help and if the boyfriend does come home that night shes already sleep and by the time she wakes up in the morning hes already gone its really hard for me also to have any kind of relationship with my boyfriend bc our live is just wrok and baby

Nichole - posted on 12/02/2010

i know exactly how you feel. my boyfriend works almost everyday, from two in the afternoon till almost midnight. i do everything on my own, i spend all day with my son, which i love but its exhausting. we live with his parents, but i still feel extremely alone. i try and see my family and friends as much as i can, and sometimes that helps

Taylor - posted on 12/01/2010

i know exactly how you feel. i go to school, i go to work, and take care of my 4 month old. his dad doesn't have any of that and he gives me an attitude if i ask him if he'll watch him for a second so i can go to the restroom or if he'll feed him for me. and the baby lives with me. men are so dumb sometimes and expect us to do it all. lol.

Jessica - posted on 12/01/2010

my husband and i have been married for a year and a half and we have 2 boys (kyler who is 16 months and kaden who is 2 months) and i still feel like this. he works overnights, and when he gets off at 6am he goes to sleep till about 2 or 3 in the afternoon. during that time i am up and taking care of our boys. its very stressful because kyler can be very loud when playing and kaden is breastfeeding about every 2 hours. and then when my husband does get up he gets easily frustrated with kyler because he only wants daddy when he gets up. i just try and take deep breaths and when both boys are asleep i either just sit and have some "me" time or i clean. hang in there, it does get a little better especially when your daughter becomes more mobile and then you can have a little more free time to clean a little. i hope this helped you, good luck.

Liz - posted on 11/30/2010

Try and make a schedule, try not to get everything done at once, but make a list of what you want to get done the most from day to day during the week. That way towards the end of the week there wont be quite so much to do, and when your fiance is home the three of you can spend some time together.

Also I agree with what others have said on here, he needs to have some time set to spend with his daughter so that they can bond and form a relationship.

I have a set of two year old b/g twins and an almost five month old son whom I take care of during the day while my husband works.

Karissa - posted on 11/30/2010

sarah. i completely agree, you sound like u r in a very similar situation!

Tabitha - posted on 11/30/2010

Honestly there is no way you can make this work equally. However speaking truthfully your job during the day is to keep the house clean and watch over the kids. His job when he gets home is to watch over the baby. To make it easy on him (because he also needs a break after work) deligate the diapering duties and feeding duties to him. That way you can get an hour to yourself. Also you need to require him to spend at least an hour with his daughter. Let him know that it's not so you can get a break, it's so he can bond with his daughter. Father's and daughters have a special relationship, so it needs to be mandatory that he get quality time in no matter how tired he is. Parenting is about sacrificing your own needs for your children, no matter what the circumstances.

Sarah - posted on 11/30/2010

OMG, this is like reading my mind! I am married to an amazing man but he works nights, 11 hrs, so when he is home he is either sleeping or doing hw and never has time to help clean the house or help with our 2 kids. I feel alone all the time and like i am a single mom doing it all alone most days. I understand he is tired and all but i could really use some help. We have great communication so i have told him all of this and honestly i haven't thought about a single solution, either way one of us will be exhausted and feel like we are doing all the work, i can't think of a way to make it equal =( But i do totally understand where you are coming. Thanks for posting this and letting me vent! lol

Sarh - posted on 11/30/2010

I feel the same way! Except my fiancee does not work 12hrs/7days a week. He works about 32hr over a 4 day span. Even on his off days it is like pulling teeth for me to get him to do something as little and simple as taking his own dirty dish to the kitchen. I have an almost 5 yo who is also very smart for her age and she gets bored very quickly. I have a 5.5month old son who is breast fed. During the day, I just want to sit w/baby and play or cuddle, but I have dishes, laundry, cleaning, organizing. If I manage to get the house looking like I want it to (I'm also a clean freak and w/children it seems impossible to keep it that way!) it is destroyed as soon as my daughter gets home from school and my fiancee gets home from work. Your not alone and if you find an easy way to get through the day please let me know!! But like another mom said you just have to work through it for your daughter! You do get used to it and for me it is just becoming a routine and it doesn't bother me so much anymore. I just wish he would help on his days especially when he has off 2-3 days in a row. I only get about 4hrs of sleep a night, at first that was hard, but now it just seems to be the norm for me.

Good luck! Don't let it get you down, you have a beautiful baby girl who appreciates everything you are doing! :)

Siji - posted on 11/29/2010

It looks like both of u need a holiday.a break from everything and just spend time with each other.Agreed hez a great provider but hez also missing out the chance of seeing his baby grow... About your cleanliness try and get someone to help you out,atleast twice a week,that way you will not feel that you have to do evrything and someone chipping in is a welcome into you otherwise work ridden life.Besides the house is never tidy with kids at home.Learn to put off things for the next day.Give yourself some free time too

Alice - posted on 11/29/2010

absoulutely!!! u feel like you have to do everything but you cant!!!! house needs cleaning clothes dishes etc..... i have been feeling like that alot but u have to push through for your child sake im not sure how to get through it but look at ur daughter and that gives u motivation to go on good luck hun