other teen moms

Kelsey - posted on 10/23/2009 ( 64 moms have responded )

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i get this all the time from people i know who are older than me who had kids as teen. I will start up a conversation with someone who i thought i was friends with and all they will reply with is

"i dont talk to kids who have kids" like honestly people how much more hypocritical can you get?



im just getting really sick and tired of moms like that who feel because they were judged for being a teen mom now they are older they have to judge their younger teen friends who have babies

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Angie - posted on 01/02/2010

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Quoting Brooke:  .things arent the same now as they were back then...yes old people think they are giving advice.but i am a grown woman and i have made my choices and i am happy with where i am at..im 19 and have a 4 month old daughter...me having a baby young was not hard...




you have to relise that a lot of mothers who have had children in there teenage years know what it was like to juggle that life. They dont want the same for there friends or family.. Like I always say if you cant give your child EVERYTHING it needs then keep your legs shut..
a child needs more then just love. any parent should know that..


 

Christina - posted on 11/19/2009

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I have been told that saying over an over again and its really annoying. I just proved everyone wrong that I wasnt a baby having a baby. I grew up and took care of my responsibility. I love me son more than anything. I continue to shock perople on how well I take care of my child

Wallisha - posted on 11/16/2009

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I've always looked a lot older than what i am and at 16 i was pregnant and i didnt really get strange looks from strangers but when some ppl would engage in conversation and actually find out how old i was i then got the judgmental look and the conversation would soon come to an end. I'm now 20 and have 2 beautiful sons and another baby on the way, & not to blow my own horn but i know I'm 200 times better than alot of the other mums in my neighborhood who are twice my age.
As i always say... "Age does not define weather we will be a good mother/father or not!" Congratulations to all the mothers out there raising there children especially the young ones standing there ground & sticking to all those ppl who have stereotypical views of us... Maybe if ppl especially family & friends of young mothers would stop doubting us & start supporting & guiding us in the right direction then alot of teen mothers wouldn't abort or put their children up for adoption.

TO ALL THOSE "GROWN UP - ADULTS" OUT THERE WHO DISCRIMINATE YOUNG MOTHERS TAKE A LOOK BACK IN HISTORY & SEE HOW YOUNG GIRLS WERE GETTING MARRIED & HAVING KIDS, MOST OF THE TIME OUT OF OBLIGATION!!!

Sorry guys for getting on my Soap Box but this issue really gets up my nose!!! xxx

Jessica - posted on 11/15/2009

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I had the same problem, I got spoken about behind my back, it wasnt nice at all.
My Parent's wouldnt speak to me for a while it was hard. The worst part about it all, was when i was giving birth the Midwifes and nurses treated me like dirt. I felt to ashamed. But now i couldnt give a damn if i get looks own the street, all i care about is my daughter and how grateful i am to have her, us young Mum's can do just as good as the older one's.

Jenne - posted on 10/29/2009

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One of the saddest traits in humans is judging one another. From our closest family members to complete strangers, they feel the need to make young single moms feel lower on the food chain. Just let it slide off your back. Luckily, for everyone of those fools, there are 6 more people to encourage you, lift you up, educate you when you ask for it, and assure you to feel proud of yourself and your baby. The only two people in the world that truly matter are you and your child....who will someday be a NON-judgemental person who will hold you up to the world as his or her confident role model to be soooo proud of!

Bridget - posted on 10/29/2009

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Hey Kelsey, Iam a teen mom as well i became prego when i was 18 turning 19..her father was 22 turning 23..my whole family dissapproved me moving out and living with him b4 i even became prego and then whn i did get prego they distantent themselfs even more but as time went on the aunt i moved out of becuz it was soo bad there is now being a part of our lives she is being more of a mom to me than my real mom...my whole family was back talking and trashing me and then the ones that were doing that just found out that their granddaughter (my 2nd cousin) was prego and she is due any day..my aunt gave them a peice of her mind saying "that u have always back talked Bridget her whole life and now that she had a kid and got prego at a young age u think at least she had the courage and that to tell us when she found out and we know how hard it was for her to tell us but we accepted it and at least she knows who the father is and is with him"

Katlyn - posted on 10/29/2009

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Then they aren't really your friends... Don't let anyone bring you down like that. Age does NOT define how good of a mom you are. And for them to put you down like that when they did the same thing isn't fair. Just keep your head up!!

Bama0704 - posted on 10/29/2009

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I go the same reply from my older sister of 2 years who had her daughter at 19. I was 17 at the time and felt betrayed because she was the first person I told, then I heard she was spreading rumors that I tried getting pregnant because she was. Which was pretty stupid because I dont know any teenager who would want a child at that young of an age. The way I handled it was telling her that I was sorry she felt that way and that I didnt have time to fight with her because I was to busy figuring out what I had to do in order to provide for my child when he decides to come! I am not 19 and I have a 15 month old beautiful son.My 20 year old boyfriend and I have our own townhouse, I am a full time student and worker. I am lucky enough not to have the government pay for the things my son and I need, and we are very happy where we are in life. Sometimes people grow up faster than others, maybe this is the case for the people you have been talking to. In this case I would reply, I'm sorry I thought you were an adult.

Monique - posted on 10/29/2009

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It's very common or you have people staring at you as if they think you cannot take care of a baby because your young which is completely wrong. Young mum's in some cases can do a better job then older women and have alot more patience.

Naomi - posted on 10/29/2009

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I had my first bub 6 weeks ago at 18 & would never have had it any other way...My partner & I own our house and are financially stable so all those people who think there is a "right" age to have a child - You have no idea what your talking about!!!!!!

Jasmine - posted on 10/29/2009

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that is ridiculous!!!! i had my baby at 18 and i am now 20 and i think teen mums rock!!! don't listen to them because they probably have very low self-esteem which was probably given to them by people insulting them as a teenage mum and now want to make you feel as bad as they felt, you just keep being a good mummmy and it will prove the bitches wrong lol

April - posted on 10/28/2009

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i know how it feels to be judged for being a young mum...old people look down at u all the time..my friends were great though..so much support from them all so in that sense i was lucky..i found though after i had had my son i was treated like absolute crap in the hospital by the nurses because i was young..i already felt like i didn't no what i was doing then i had all these nurses rubbing it in my face and taking over completely..but now my son is almost one and doing great and i know that no one could possibly be a better mum to him than me..adoption or abortion was never an option to me..i didnt want kids so young but everything happens for a reason and i wouldn't take him back for anything

Brooke - posted on 10/28/2009

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Quoting kelsey:

yes but you also have a higher cahnce of concieiving around this age by your twenties your chances start to drop slowly..iv been over this all with my friend and her dctor because she has soemthing wrong with her ovaries and will have a hard time conceiving a child if she wants longer than 3 years min..shes 15 and shes only got about a 49% chance as of now



well if this is the case for anyone her age they should be talking about getting some eggs frozen. A 15 yo old having a baby is just plain wrong! I am not saying she is going to be a bad mother I am saying it is irreponsible for a girl of that age to choose to have a baby.. If she wanted to do it the right way she would talk to her parents and Dr. about doing this. She would be better off waiting then trying to juggle school, an infant and trying to find support off whom ever.



Face it how the hell can a 15 yo raise a child without FINANCIAL support?? it is near impossible.. at this age it is rare for a GIRL to know she is even in love. What I thought was love when I was that age is completely different to what I feel for my partner now.



If a girl can wait to have a baby until she is atleast 18 then she is doing herself and her child a huge favour.



No innocent baby deserves to be brought into this world with a parent who can barely look after themself!!



 

Hayley - posted on 10/28/2009

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heyy..
i no what its like getting judged for being a young mum..
people think just becoz were not older we arnt able to look after our children properly..
when i was pregnant my fathers side of the family decided they would have nothing to do with me, that was fine by me but im pissed off that now my baby boy "Zeth Oliver" is here they want to see him.. i love my boy an i love being a young mum..
i think we do a great job.. age has nothing to do with you being a good mum..

Belinda - posted on 10/28/2009

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I would like to offer you some encouragement from a teen mother who now has grown kids. My grandmother denied the presence of her first born grandchild - my son. My (adopted) mother when I told her I was pregnant - 6 times over - always asked if I was going to get 'rid of it'. My sister has always tried to belittle me and nicknamed me Mrs Rabbit since I do not know when. I have been looked down upon scoffed at and generally been regarded as a terrible person by family and friends (no longer).
Now that I am over 40 have 6 wonderful, beautiful amazing kids - my sister has none, my family hardly know my children at all and friends of old are no longer. I should add out of my two brothers one has a child. My sister and sister in law and mother are all over weight and from what I can see not very happy people.
Keep your chin up follow your heart and do what ever it takes for things to be right for you and do not concern yourself with what others think or say because one day like me you will have the last laugh.
The only thing that matters in this world is the relationship you have with your daughter.
Oh and by the way for all you teenage mom's - you are going to cope with more than an older mom as you have more energy, optimistic outlook and best of all the generation gap doesn't exist! Well nearly.

Lyndsay - posted on 10/28/2009

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Its learned behaviour, I guess. That is how people responded to them when they were young mothers, so they feel that is how they must respond to you. But you know what... fuck them. Do you really care what they think? They are hypocrites.

Brittney - posted on 10/27/2009

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i totally agree...i always get judged because i am a young mom... people alwasy say things about it or try to tell me how to raise my daughter. i be young mom and i am getting where i want in life. i may have not gone to collage but i have a great job i can go far in. i just look at them when they say things and say..."look i may be young but this is what i want in life. i am doing a great job and can you tell me that you would be 19 years old with a brand new house that you built period. well i do and a also have a kid. so whats that tell you. i am jumping into life with two feet on the ground!"

Cathi - posted on 10/27/2009

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you are right! I was a teen mom (kids are all grown now} I have nothing but respect for a teen who chooses to keep her child and raise them right. No-one has the right to judge - even if they have been in your shoes.

Bethany - posted on 10/27/2009

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Honey, I was a teen mom(had my first son at 17) and just by you standing up for yourself and being the best mom you can be proves you have what it takes. As for those women who feel they can judge, they forgot where they came from and you don't need them in your life. Have a great night and keep your head up!!

Kelsey - posted on 10/27/2009

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yes but you also have a higher cahnce of concieiving around this age by your twenties your chances start to drop slowly..iv been over this all with my friend and her dctor because she has soemthing wrong with her ovaries and will have a hard time conceiving a child if she wants longer than 3 years min..shes 15 and shes only got about a 49% chance as of now

Brooke - posted on 10/27/2009

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Quoting kelsey:

its also the best time physicaly..finacialy..not so much lol



actually no.. as a teenager your young body is still maturing, mid twenties is around the right time physically and in your 30's is better financially..

Brooke - posted on 10/27/2009

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you have to relise that a lot of mothers who have had children in there teenage years know what it was like to juggle that life. They dont want the same for there friends or family.. Like I always say if you cant give your child EVERYTHING it needs then keep your legs shut..

a child needs more then just love. any parent should know that..

Nikkita - posted on 10/27/2009

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I'm not a teen, but I am single and still considered "young." So, I do know your pain...well, at least some of it. Don't let them bring you down though. They have nothing to do with their sorry little lives, aside from trying to bring others down as well. You're a hero to me! It's so many people that struggle with being married. stay-at-home moms. You're a teen mom, and that's big! It's big enough that you chose life for your child. Don't let anybody discourage you! You're a great mom, for just being a mom. God bless you and your child.

Lily - posted on 10/27/2009

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When I was prego everyone stared at me like I was the whale in the room. When I went to the hospital with labor pains I was discriminated against. The nurse constantly asked me how old I was and told me I wasnt in labor. She told me to "go walk around the mall". I was Pissed. That night I had my son. I was in labor. She wouldnt even let me talk to the doctor.



After that I dont care what people say. Im a mom. No matter what my son will love me unconditionally and thats what matters. You should be proud that you had the strength to do that. Who are they to judge what you've been through.

Kelsey - posted on 10/27/2009

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agreed lol bc pills dont always work..im proff of that as my mom was on them when she got prego with me and i have also made stronger realation ships with a few of my friends who already have kids because at first we only had a few things in common and then grew apart after they had children but now all 6 of us go out swimminng with the kids and its great..because they have been through this and can relate

Ashley - posted on 10/27/2009

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Unfortunately there will always be those ppl, and honestly in a way its jealousy, what they are jealous of? I have no clue. Within my group of friends 3 of us got pregnant around the same time, well all our kids are about 1 now and just recently we all went camping with friends with no kids who (in their words) "did it the right way" anyways the entire time all 3 of us dealt with the stupid ass comments being thrown at us about what we didn't do to not get pregnant or whatever. the last comment made was it for me, on girl went to her car got her BC pill out and flashed it in our faces saying that if we had been on that then we would still have a life! WTH?! My last baby was a BC baby! I took that thing faithfully! lol you just learn to deal with them, or hit em whichever seems to work.

Shelby - posted on 10/26/2009

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hey. i hear ya!! i get that too. ppl look at me different now. i even lost friends. ppl are very judgemental!!:(

Leslie - posted on 10/26/2009

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when you look into her eyes you will know that she was the best thing you ever did and i knew when i was 17 and saw my baby girl for the first time that she was mine and i knew that i had to become her world to teach her what was right and wrong and for her to know that i did what was best for her...it is not easy being a teen mother but you will make it...i promise you that

Kelsey - posted on 10/26/2009

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tanks for the input everyone and i new right away when i was prego i was not giving my child away..my boyfriend has another child*a son* that he has only seen 3 times since he was born two years ago and neither of us could deal with not seeing our little girl grow up

Leslie - posted on 10/26/2009

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hello meghan...i got pregnant at the age of 16 and when i found out i had the same problem...i thought about having an abortion and adoption and every avenue you think of but its not about you or your boyfriend its about that lil girl you are careing and you have to do whats best for her and your parents need to understand that you are doing the best that you can...as a teen mom twice its not easy and i know how you feel...ppl can be crewl and for some reason the parents are the worse ones...you just have to keep the stress level down and keep going...

Meghan - posted on 10/26/2009

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Most people I know are fine with my pregnancy. I'm 19, almost 20. My boyfriend, however, is 17, almost 18. The only people who disapprove are my family. My father and grandparents want nothing to do with me or the baby. Me, my boyfriend, and his family are very excited for the arrival of our daughter in January. Of course there are going to be people who think getting pregnant this young is "stupid". But, life goes on. Accidents happen. I'm just not the type of person who could deal with giving my daughter up.

Leslie - posted on 10/26/2009

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yea i know that feeling..its hard enough to live day to day as a young mother but we are the ones who have to deal with it...im glad to say that without my children i would have probably dropped out of high school and probably wouldn't be anything but a slaker...lol...but anyways i could have had an abortion but i chose to have my kids and for someone to look down upon that well they just are happy with themselves

Brittani - posted on 10/26/2009

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I feel you girl. I had a baby when i was 15 year old and i get judged all the time for it. i know i made a mistake but i have to live with it for the rest of my life. I don't want to be reminded by people that i was too young to have a baby. I know Iwas.

Leslie - posted on 10/26/2009

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just to say i had 2 children in my teens and now i am a mom of 4 before the age of 24...i know what it is like to be judged as a teen mom and for the ones who were teen mothers and judge them now is rediculous...you have no right to tell someone that you wont talk to kids who have kids...i know as a teen mother i needed help to get through hard times and as i get older i love the fact that i have some knowledge and i can help other teen mothers....

Kelsey - posted on 10/25/2009

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im used to that when mi youngest sister*2yrs* was still really little i used to take her for walks and people were like awe wat a cute little girl u have or your to young to have a baby! im coping with it lol

Sarah - posted on 10/25/2009

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i no what you mean i was 15 when i got pregnant people tryed to talk me out of keepin her but i didnt care what they thought me and my boy friend moved in together he got a job i started home school so i could finish and still take care of her to. i am now 19 me and her daddy are now married we have a good car we are buyin ower first house life is going well for us so dont give up hope and my beautiful little girl is fixin to be 4 and yes people do stair or say is that your little sister that makes me mad the most

Tracy - posted on 10/25/2009

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that is so wrong i would neva do that i think teen mums are the best mums well most are teen mums arent as bad as sum say expecially older ppl i remember walking through a shopping centre pregnant at 16 and getting dirty looks from ppl its so wrong u should neva judge anyone!

Celle - posted on 10/24/2009

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Wow, that really is a shame. I had my first child when I was 14, my second at 17 and my third at 32. I know what it is like, I've been there. It wasn't the best choice to have children so young, but I learned a lot and us "grown up" teen moms should share are experiences.

Kaneshia - posted on 10/24/2009

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Quoting kelsey:

other teen moms

i get this all the time from people i know who are older than me who had kids as teen. I will start up a conversation with someone who i thought i was friends with and all they will reply with is
"i dont talk to kids who have kids" like honestly people how much more hypocritical can you get?

im just getting really sick and tired of moms like that who feel because they were judged for being a teen mom now they are older they have to judge their younger teen friends who have babies



I really hate that too

Kaneshia - posted on 10/24/2009

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Quoting kelsey:

other teen moms

i get this all the time from people i know who are older than me who had kids as teen. I will start up a conversation with someone who i thought i was friends with and all they will reply with is
"i dont talk to kids who have kids" like honestly people how much more hypocritical can you get?

im just getting really sick and tired of moms like that who feel because they were judged for being a teen mom now they are older they have to judge their younger teen friends who have babies



I really hate that too

Tamzin~Rose - posted on 10/24/2009

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Quoting Heather:

i agree with you! When i got pregnant my cousin was like thats not cute to be a baby havin a baby and went on about it forever. Then when i actually said somethin back to her, it set her straight. Once your a teen and pregnant...you have two choices, keep your kid or get rid of him/her. And i say if you can lay down and spread your legs, then take the responsibility. And thats what i did! And i wouldn't trade my daughter for the world!


ok i like how straight forward and blunt this chick is, and she is dead on with just a few words, put the bastards in there place, its non of there business anyway.

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