people who are against teenege mums

Beckie - posted on 11/23/2008 ( 75 moms have responded )

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i dont think being a teenage mum is as bad as people make out

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Amanda - posted on 11/27/2008

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i was 17... most people i hear complaining about it are complaining about their tax dollars. which you know are so better spend on what? drug addicts? a 30 year old crack addict with three kids who's always too high to work? how about the 2010 Olympics? you know where the tax payers had to dish out 100 million dollars to cover a contractors ass when he messed up? oh yeah but helping the girl who chose not to have an abortion and needs a bit of help getting on her feet is sooo much worse right? not to mention i know 17-22 year olds who are better mothers then some 27-40 year old moms! I'm confident that im a good mom. i'm 18 my sons 6 months old. my mom was 18 when she had my brother... my aunt was 16 when she had her daughter.. they're awesome moms!

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Maude - posted on 02/13/2009

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It's not bad at if you care for your child, it just takes that one person who is an awful parent at 16 to ruin it for everyone else. I am 18 now and I was 16 when i had my frsit child and and am trying for another now and wouldn't changed what happened for anything

Leanne - posted on 02/13/2009

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unfortunately there are a few bad teen mom's out there that give the rest of us a bad name. I think if you are able to do what it takes to get on your feet and make your children a top priority in life that it doesn't matter how old you are you can be a good mom.

User - posted on 02/11/2009

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I was 15 when i had my first child and i got over the looks and comments that people made to me and behind my back. Now at 19 i just had my second child i dont get half the looks i used to get.. Honestly its not a hard Job just because we are teenagers its a hard job all together no matter what your age is!!!!!

Jessika - posted on 02/11/2009

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As everyone else has already mentioned.. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a young mom. I had a lot of people, including family, frown on my pregnancy at 18. They would talk to me about 'alternatives' and what life is like after children. I don't know if it was more annoying or degrading hearing that from people, but I certainly didn't choose to listen. I am very pro-choice, but I firmly believed that I wanted to have that baby. It was exhilerating, the entire experience of being pregnant. Now my son is going to be a year old, and I've had people talk badly about me because of being so young. To them, you couldn't possibly be fit to be a role model and care giver for a child. To any one who is young and has a child who is taken care of, there is a lot of respect to be shown. I don't believe that age makes a difference, maturity makes the difference completely.  I know some 30+ women who are not mature enough to have children.  It is all in how people percieve things, as in, if a person has only bad experience with teen mothers, they will think lowly of the lot of us. Same goes for people who are too closed minded to actually think about it.



All in all, we are probably the best mothers around, because we are young enough to have fun with our kids, and when they are old enough to leave the nest, we will still be young enough to have our own lives.

Nicole - posted on 02/04/2009

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Being a good mom has nothing to do with age. Yes, it is harder for us because we have so many odds against us. Most of us are still in school, still maybe living with our parents, and unfortunately, some of us are doing it alone. We are strong ladies.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hey all, just reading through some of your comments and wanted to share a little of my story. I got pregnant at 15, had my oldest daughter at 16, and my son at 19. I am now 30, I managed to go to college and am currently an RN. I also had another daughter at 28. I just wanted you all to know that as hard as it may have been to grow up so early myself to raise my kids, I don't feel that it was a bad thing, Me and my kids had to make sacrifices for me to get through school, but it's definitely not impossible, and I wouldn't change it for the world. My oldest daughter is almost 15 herself, and she has a solid head on her shoulders and is truly one of the smartest, brightest kids I have ever known, and her and I are tight, very very close. Having a child early does not mean the end of your life, and it certainly does not mean you will have to sit around and collect welfare forever, It definitely poses a challenge, and it is not easy, but as I said, I came out of ok, and so did my kids. I would definitely recommend waiting until you are older whenever possible just because it is hard to have kids so early, but to those of you that already do have children, you can still do everything that you have always wanted to do, just on a little different schedule!!! Good luck to all of you! Liz

Kayleigh - posted on 02/04/2009

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i was 16 when i had my first baby and 18 when i had my 2nd and i got married at 18 i get ppl give me looks and says are u mad to get married n have kids young but personally is it any of there buissness really? i walk into my shop by me where i get our food there security guard follows me n watches to see if im hiding stuff in my buggy and yes i put shopping in my buggy coz where else am i gonna put it if im pushing a double buggy and ive paid all the time or this other time when i went to co - op for some fag papers i was 18 at time n the shop bloke didnt beleive me n said i needed id of fag papers thats just stupid!!!!!!! so now i tend 2 tell ppl 2 f-off n leave me alone they know nuffin bout me so y dont they find some1 else to annoy kay xxxxxxxx

Lauren - posted on 02/03/2009

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i had my daughter at 16 and ive had people tell me (even friends) that being a mum  suits me. i didnt plan to be a young single mum (her father left me) but it happened and i wouldnt change it for the world. i dont think that being a young mum wrecked my life, it certainly made me a stronger person though. the stares and comments that you get, my own sister in law made a comment. I chose to keep my daughter and its the best thing ive ever done, i love it and her, im not saying its always easy there are times when its hard.

Sinead - posted on 02/03/2009

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I think 16 or under is pretty young to have a kid.. I'm not against it but usually people of that age are still too immature to raise a kid well. (then again, there are some much older people who are still too immature!) I was 19 through pregnancy and 20 when i had my baby. My mother was 20 for her first and so was her mother. I think that's a good age =)
People can't just say 'teens are bad parents' because that is bull. Everyone is different.

Jessamy - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Emma:

i was 19 and when he was 2 months old i turned 20 lol. doesnt it make you feel old before your time though? i get really offended when people say that or when people assume im a lot older than i actually am



LMAO gurl, wont be much longer and you will love it!!! I get asked for ID and its like, well, i have a 5 yr old, im married, and i am about to have twins so how old do YOU think i am??? Nice to know being a young mum hasn't lead me into premature aging!!!!!

Emma - posted on 02/03/2009

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i was 19 and when he was 2 months old i turned 20 lol. doesnt it make you feel old before your time though? i get really offended when people say that or when people assume im a lot older than i actually am

Kimberly - posted on 02/02/2009

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i was sixteen when i had my little boy and i had my little girl not to soon after and  ppl who say young ppl cant have babies  dont know what they are talking about i ve got 2 healthy babiesand who are they to judge when they were young they had kids and were married by theage of 21 i say to them all you dont put  down young mums unless you have good cause to because believe it or not were just as good as it then any one else if not better



 

Kyndra - posted on 02/02/2009

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It doesn't matter your age. It matters how good of a mother you are. There are 30 something year olds that dont take care of their kids right. people assume if your young you cant do it and it's hard blah blah. but to me it doesnt really matter. I love my daughter more than anything

Jessamy - posted on 02/01/2009

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Yes as im sure all the judgemental ppl werent having sex as teenagers, just cos they got "lucky" and didnt fall pregnant. At least we are all fronting up to the situation and doing the best we can with what we got. And loving every minute of it i might add!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO

Valerie - posted on 02/01/2009

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I was 17 when i got pregnant my son was born 6 days before my 18th birthday. It was not easy to start off with. Thanks to all the support of my parents and my sons fathers parents (who i live with now) I may not have made it. I am 21 years old now and i would not have changed having my son for any thing in the world. I go to school full time I work full time and some friday nights i still get to go out because of the support of my sons grandparents and aunts. I love my son and would not change having my son for any thing in the world. I still get looks and people ask me if my son is my brother and i still get the dirty looks when me and my son go to the park or a store or just out walking. I look much younger then i am but at 21 I feel like ia m a great mom to my son and i have been told that by many of people which helps me do my best to care for him

Michaela - posted on 02/01/2009

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I was 17 when I had my daughter and I did get the looks from people and I could hear the whispers when I was breastfeeding, For me I know having my daughter was the right decision but I didnt give up on my own dreams either.  I decided to prove to my daughter that I am a trong single parent.  I worked full time and went to highschool full time until the week I gave birth.  I was able to finish highschool while I was on maternity leave and spend a few months with my daughter until I went to college.  I am still in college taking the nursing program and every step of the way it has been hard I am not with me daughter as often as I would like to be but every second that I can be with her I am.  I breastfed her until she was 1 and I have had a 4.0 average every semester I have been in school it is not easy being a single mom with no family close by to help me out but I know I am doing whats best for me and my daughter.  I am directing this at young girls who are pregnant now.  No matter what anyone tells you it is hard to be a young mom but as long as you are mature enough and you are responsible enough to put your children first there is nothing wrong with being a teenage mom.  However to play the devils advocate I see where a lot of the judgement comes from a lot of teenage moms drop out of school and live on the system or they drop there kids off at there parents house and go out partying.  Or they just neglect their children.  I know that parents of any age group could do this but the majority of them are young moms.  I just think that some people should really think about their children before they decide to raise them because at 15 and 16 most people aren't ready to be moms and that shouldnt be looked down upon there is nothing wrong with putting your child up for adoption if you can't handle the responsibility and I just wanted to make that clear. 

Sheena - posted on 01/31/2009

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im 19 and i just had my baby 2 months ago, and i wouldnt change it for the world!!!!

Taylor - posted on 01/31/2009

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well with me, its a bit much, i didnt expect it at my age, it was a month before my 13th birthday and had her when i was 14, mistakes happy but i wouldnt give her up for the world. tons of people had their oppions but honestly id rather be younger where i can play with my child than be old and not have enough engry,

Christina - posted on 01/31/2009

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i was 19 when i found out i was pregnant with my son. i was doing every stupid thing you could imagine. when i told my mom i was pregnant she didn't think i would be a good mother because i was irresponsible but if you ask her now she'd tell you i am a great mother who loves her children. my son helped me grow up & change. who knows where i would've been without him. age is just number. i know of people in their 30s who would rather party & do drugs than take care of their children. people are rude & judgemental. that'll never change.

[deleted account]

I agree girl! Truly one of the things that make teen pregnancy especially tricky is baby's father relationships. Some young moms are lucky and stay with their mates for the long term. A lot of teen moms, like me, have a child with some one who isn't the right person for them for life. As we get older we change and grow. I know one day I will meet my future husband. Although we have our disagreements, I am thankful that my son's father loves him and is involved on a regular basis.

[deleted account]

I agree girl! Truly one of the things that make teen pregnancy especially tricky is baby's father relationships. Some young moms are lucky and stay with their mates for the long term. A lot of teen moms, like me, have a child with some one who isn't the right person for them for life. As we get older we change and grow. I know one day I will meet my future husband. Although we have our disagreements, I am thankful that my son's father loves him and is involved on a regular basis.

[deleted account]

I was 15 when my son was born. We have had some hard times, no doubt. I still wouldn't change it. I love that I am young enough to run around and play with him. Also, when he is an adult I will stil be young enough to play with my grandbabies and travel. The hardest struggle for us has been financial. Trying to go through school and be a single mom isn't easy. Our lives would have been easier had I waited untilI was financially stable to have my son. However, the wisdom and strength I have now is priceless. I never realized how strong I was until I had my son. I appreciate myself 100 times more.

[deleted account]

I was 15 when my son was born. We have had some hard times, no doubt. I still wouldn't change it. I love that I am young enough to run around and play with him. Also, when he is an adult I will stil be young enough to play with my grandbabies and travel. The hardest struggle for us has been financial. Trying to go through school and be a single mom isn't easy. Our lives would have been easier had I waited untilI was financially stable to have my son. However, the wisdom and strength I have now is priceless. I never realized how strong I was until I had my son. I appreciate myself 100 times more.

Leigha - posted on 01/30/2009

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I agree! I had my daughter at 19 and I had already gradualted high school so I had that working for me. I lived with my mom and worked the evening shift at my job so I could be home with her during the day and my sis watched her from 2-5 when my mom got home and then I got off work at 10. It was rough but I went to school online and adapted. It's all about growing up. I still remember the looks from the "grandmas" in Wal-mart when I would make a "Mommy loves you" comment. I heard them mumble "Look another teenage mother" under their breath before too. I always smiled and knew I was doing an awesome job. And it doesn't end either. Im 25 and my daughter will be 6 March 1st... as soon as people do the math I see their eyebrows furrow but I stopped caring... my kid is in Kindergarden at the magnet school in our county so she is getting the top education available and she scored above average on her recent P.A.L.S. tests... she's been my blessing and I think I'm young enough to keep up with her and experience life and still learn from my mistakes and bounce back! But that God for my Mom... I'd seriously be lost without her still!!

Shanna - posted on 01/29/2009

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i was 19 when i had my baby... she now 8mths n im turning 20... it harder but not that much its good if u get advice that ur not sure about...and have family n friends close by who had kids so they can help

Chelsea - posted on 01/29/2009

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I found out i was prego the day after my 17th birthday... Happy birthday you're expecting... I was still in high school... But i don't think it's bad to become a teenage mom... I mean i believe everything happens for a reason... I would never change my life for anything... But sometimes i wish i had been a little more ready for what i was about to encounter... But i love my son more than anything and he changed my life for the better!

User - posted on 01/29/2009

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I think that there is a bad stigma attached to being a young mum, because most people assume we got pregnant because we didnt use protection or we wanted to rebel or we're not educated. That stigma makes being a young parent more difficult, if community shouldn't frown upon, but support us and perhaps there would be less problems. There are more issues in this world than the age when you decide to bring a baby into this world, its a huge decision not matter what your age. I was 17 when I fell pregnant, and 18 when I had my first and 20 when I had my second. They both were a conscious decision made by both my partner of 7 years ( we met when I was 15). Whilst raising our children we have no help from either of our families, and we have a car and my partner works hard while I stay at home to look after the kids. We never go out, never take drugs, drink or even smoke. We are 21 and 23 and are looking to buy our first home soon. So when people stare and whisper when they see us as a family it makes me really cross. I think I'm a better parent than quite a few people who are older than me, my kids rarely misbehave (in public lol) and always use their manners and are respectful when they talk to adults. I think there are too many children these days who are disrespectful or rude. Maturity has nothing to do with age and some people have amazing maternal instincts,, age is just a number.

Lori - posted on 01/29/2009

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I had my daughter when I was 16 & my son @ 19.  Yes it was hard but I've made it and wouldn't change it for the world!!!  I love my kids and they are my life!!!  I am now 26 & I want all of you who have babies at a young age, that it can be done and it does get better!!!

[deleted account]

You know what? It's not. I was 18 when I had my son and I hated the looks that people gave me in the malls or on the street. My hubby and I used to make comments a little louder than a normal conversation would allow to make some of thos people look the other way. All that matters is that you are a teenage mom and that your little one means the world to you. Babies are miracles, doesn't matter what age you have them. Also if anyone ever tries to tell you that you can't get post secondary, that's not true. I went to university and a technical college and now I'm a nurse. Keep on keeping on :D

Hendrika - posted on 01/28/2009

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Sorry, my point in my long winded answer was that it's not a terrible thing to be a pregnant teen but I truely hope that for all mom's here that desire it, that they can expierence it the way I did the second time, with love and support and with promise, the promise of hope instead of dispair.

Hendrika - posted on 01/28/2009

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I had  my first son when I was 18 and single and my second when I was 23 and married. I can only say the expierences were polar opposites. Before I got pregnant the first time I was scared ever time my period was late, I was panicky and taking test constantly even though I was on the pill. When I found out I was actually pregnant and I was anxious, defeated, hopless, worried, everything negitive. My relationship with my boyfriend was terrible cause he wanted me to get an abortion. We faught constantly and my life looked like a big horrible mess. I was scared to death and when my son was finally born none of that went away even though I felt so blessed to have him. When I got pregnant with my 2nd son my husband and I had to try for a few months before and instead of getting panicky when I was late, I'd be so sad when I got my period. And when I finally found out I was pregnant, it was one of the best days of my life. My husband was there to support me every step of the way and it was an amazing pregnancy, and the birth, it was beautiful! I remember my husband kissing me on the forehead and just telling me how wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and strong I was. I would never trade my older son for anything but I would never have a baby any other way, now that I've had one with someone like my husband.

Victoria - posted on 01/27/2009

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hi just wanted to write in here im no longer a teenage mum as i am now 31 i have 6 children i had 3 of them before i was 21 i found that being a young mum i was treated differently especially since i have had more children at a more govermently approved age so can now say for certain that young mums are given a raw deal not only by society in general but midwives where scornful health visitors were critical of everything i did i had to work harder to keep the house clean everything done by the book even though i had read in one book that it dosnt matter if the polishing hasnt been done well it does especially if your a teenage mum because obviously you cant cope lol well i say teenage mums work harder than older mums i had a baby at 29 and my god i love her but i wish id waited until i was younger i was knackered lol and didnt have to do as much to prove myself so i think the young mums out there that are just doing it and doing it right should hold there heads up high and poke there tongues out to every fogey that wants to give the look that says you should be ashamed becuse you shouldnt . and for the ones that do get it wrong im sorry that people scorn you and that your to frightened to say i dont how to and maybe you wouldnt get it wrong if there was somone to confide in that wouldnt critisize you

Erica - posted on 01/27/2009

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I had my daughter when I was 18. She is 13 now and will go to college when I'm only 37! We are SO VERY close! I absolutely LOVE being a young mother! The only issue I have had is that when she started K I was only 23 and looked much younger (a curse and a blessing). I would get the funniest looks. Teachers were trying to figure out if I was her sister or nanny....certainly not the mother. Although I am thankful for the compliment of "are you guys sisters?" it's quite frustrating because I am not treated like an adult. I get no respect until I tell people, "I am 32. This is my daughter". It is quite entertaining at other times. For example, when we are asked at restaurants if we want separate checks. Or, when the checkout clerk won't sell me a bottle of wine because my daughter doesn't have an id. Sometimes it takes a while for it to click...."Oh, they think we're friends or sisters". I've had so much fun being a young Mom and I wouldn't have it any other way! Sorry this was sort of long. I'm new.

Amber - posted on 01/27/2009

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One thing in my life that's changed (last year) was, rather than putting my kids in daycare in the mornings (my younger two are in kindergarten afternoon classes) my mom watches them in the morning and puts them on the bus, As a single mom, I have to work to support my little monkeys, and they've always been in daycare. But, I have very fond memories of having my mom (who has a stay at homer) and want my children to experience that. It doesn't work for every family, but my mom had to leave her job due to a back injury, and her income dropped. It was a win win for us. She got some extra income, I pay her just like I paid daycare, and I have peace of mind knowing that my kids are getting the same love and attention I got as a child from their grandma. It's funny how things work out eh?

Carroll - posted on 01/27/2009

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People against teen age moms need to see sucess stories! I was a teeneage mom and now I am 33 with an honor roll 14 year old who is a good kid , not a trouble maker. I am making a good living and I own my own house with my husband of almost 15 years. They focus on the stories that turn out bad, yes it was not the easiest road but I would not trade it for the world! Now as for my son , I hope he does get a chance to grow up more before he becomes a dad but should it happen, I am behind him all the way, what ever he and the mother choose. One thing though I must say- if it were to happen- he would need to be a stand up kind of Dad- the one thing I will not support and will fight against is if he leaves her high and dry- oh no- he will do his part!

Felicity - posted on 01/26/2009

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no, eitha do i. In fact i think it is better-we will be able to relate to our childeren better and unlike the mums having their childeren in late 30's which is all the rage- We will be able to look after our childeren for all their years insted of them looking after us by the time their 20. there are lots of positives, considering alot of people dont mature with age. Kind Regards

Michelle - posted on 01/26/2009

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I fell pregnant when i was 16, i had my son 2 months after my 17th birthday, i raised him on my own (father waste of air) worked ect.... I wouldn't change having my son, he is the best in the world and is now 8 years old and yes i did it on my own, it's not easy but being a young mom does make it easier because by the time your child grows up you can still go party and have what others call a "life" where some older mom's have babies and think of retirement, it's more unfair to a child to have them when your in your 40's + than any other age, the kid's would get picked on because here mommy look's like their Granny, when my son was 5 a school friends mom came for her daughter whom was at my sons party, i didn't think at the time but i shouted to her daughter (whom was at top of garden) your granny's here, i felt bad because it wasn't her granny but her mom :os i did say sorry. so therefore through experience I'd rather be a teenage mom (well im not anymore I'm old lol) and I've coped very well xx

Kyrie - posted on 01/26/2009

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I think being a teenage mom was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me ..before i was soo consumed with partying and always going out  and if didnt i have my daughter lord only knows where i'd be .. having a child really calmed me down

Tracy - posted on 01/26/2009

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Being a teenage mom was/is tough due to societal constrants.  But actually being a Mom?  That was the easy part.  The child needs my time, love and committment.  That's it.  I gave it and it was the best decision I ever made.  I'm 34 now and my child is graduating high school with a 4.3 GPA.  People ask me, "How do you do it?  Your kids (I have a total of 3 now) are so well behaved, they're smart and so respectful?"  Simple answer - anyone can reproduce, but it takes a lot of courage, character and confidence to be a real parent.  Would it have been easier to have waited until I graduated from high school and college - financially - yes.  But I wouldn't be the same person I am today.  I'm thankful everyday and I don't regret a moment.

Niki-Dee - posted on 01/26/2009

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It really just depends on the person and the maturity level they are on. I had my son when I was 16 and i believe that I am a great mother. I have alot of friends that are having babies now, (I'm 19 now) my son is the oldest and he loves playing with the other babies. But then I have a couple people that i used to be friends with that wanted babies and now their mothers are taking care of them. So it really depends on the person's maturity level and if they are ready to put everything behind them to take care of their child.

Felicia - posted on 01/17/2009

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I think it all depends on the female. I was 15 when i got pregnant with my daughter and I moved out of my moms at 16 and have taken care of my daughter on my own since and she is 11 now. But I do know some other females that had their child as a teen and have either signed their rights over because they wanted to continue to party or just let grandma take over being ma to the child. But I also know several other women that had a child when I had mine that was in school with me and did the same thing I did and their children turned out fine just like my daughter did.

Jenniferr - posted on 01/17/2009

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i think that its horrible that people have a problem with teenage moms.



i mean i believe they are being quite adult if they decide to go trhough with the pregnancy and actually take care of their babies. 

Jessica - posted on 01/16/2009

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I had my daughter at 19 and got pregnant for her at 18 alot of people stare at me cause im short and i look like im 16 and im 21! But honostly idk what the big deal is as long as im takeing good care of my daughter then why should people have to stare and make comments! I think people that stare and make comments should really be doing it to the people that murder there child! idk it just makes me mad how people can stare at the young woman takeing care of the kids but not stare at the people that arent!!

Sarah - posted on 01/15/2009

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I think it's wrong to judge someone becasue they have a baby at such a young age. I am 18 and I'm having my second baby. I'm due in April. I don't see anyhting wrong with it and I never did but I'm not one to judge other people. so if anyone ever says anything to you about being a young mom just let it go in one ear and out the other. who cares what other people think.

Sammie - posted on 01/15/2009

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well all i can say is that some ppl ave there career first , and some ppl dont , like me i had my first son at 17 then my second one at 18 ,i fink if u have ur kids at a young age then they grow up with u .

Nicole - posted on 01/15/2009

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Hello I was 15 years old when i had my daughter.I don't think that it's as bad as people say it is.Ok yes its not good. I don't think that every 15 year old should go out there and just get pregnant. I have been with my boy-friend for 9 years now we have 2 kids. one aged 7 and the other aged 9 months. I would not change having my daughter at 15 for anything. Yes i wish that i would have waited but hey shit happens. I think that now a days people that are having kids at a younger age are better mothers then some people that are in their late 20-30s. now hear me out im not saying that every younge mother out there is good. I did not party at all when i found out that i was pregnant i was very scared.Did not know how to tell my mother but i did. She was not happy but she was still there for me. I raised my daughter i did not get my mother to watch her so that i could go out and party.No I did Im the one who had her so im the one thats goin to raise her.Im now 23 and have two kids. i got my tubes tied i did not want anymore kids.Anyways i think that as long as your goin to take care of your child then it does not really matter if you are 15 or 30plus. asa long as that child has a good home to live in and someone that is willing to be there for then know matter what.

User - posted on 01/15/2009

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i became a mum 2 months before my 16th birthday to a beautiful baby girl then i had my son a month before my 18th birthday it was hard at first but just like any knew mum when you get the ropes it's fine they r now 11 and 9 and i have 2 more who are 3 and 8 months and i am still with the dad of all my kids

Emma - posted on 01/14/2009

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i was a teenage mum my self and i think they younger u r the moe patiants u hav with ur child theres nothing wrong with being young

Tasha - posted on 01/14/2009

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i dont c the problem with teenage mum's.. i had my little boy at 17 and id like to think im as good mum as any mother.

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