Piercings, tattooes, Skimpy outfits + pushing your child's buggy and/or your lil' beside you. Anyone?

Sid - posted on 05/31/2009 ( 57 moms have responded )

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Regardless of race or religion. Does it really matter?? Let's discuss this cuz it's seriously SERIOUSLY bugging me, mothers..

I get the stares and the " look down on me's " every time I'm out with my lil' girl in her stroller plus me with my shorts and tank and it pisses me off!!

These losers look at us like we're not suitable to be whom we are appearance - wise JUST BECAUSE.

Seriously.. It does NOT matter how you look like and what you wear.
It's how you BRING yourself as a mother in public that is really important.
But if you're pushing your buggy with one hand and maybe holding on to a smoke or a can of beer in the other; then you should go f**k yourself.

Pardon my words, Mummies...

If I'm too blunt, do keep me informed ok..

Will accept anything in sincerity.

Cheers... :)

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Steph - posted on 06/04/2009

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u no what just cos ur a mum dosent mean 2 say u cant b ur self i was 16 when i had my lil boy im 20 now i still wear mini skirts in the summer when i drop him off at pre school and i get looks all the time but i just think fuck u this is me. my lil boy n i r happy thats all thats matters. dont grow up 2 quick is what i say our lil 1s controls most of our lives but dont need 2 control what u look like as long as ur happy. xxxx

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Cleo - posted on 08/27/2009

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I wish i was as brave as you to wear skimpy clothes :P My daughter is 4 months and atm i don't really have the figure for it :( I do like to show off my breasts A LITTLE because i am happy i have something to show off and that i can show it off. I feel that as young mums we have the right to feel sexy. Other people our age are walking around wearing whatever they want without complaint so why shouldn't we!?

"Oh and to Sarah, i was 18 when i fell pregnant and i worked on checkouts and i still constantly got my customers asking if i was married then why i wasnt married, if i was still with the dad, if it was planned etc. i just said to the yes we are committed and we dont have to be married to be committed. people get over it eventually"

The same thing happened to me when i worked at a deli. People would always ask me if i was with the father and if it was planned! Im 19 and i hate that because i'm young people assume that im going it alone and it was a one night fling!

Lyndsay - posted on 08/27/2009

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You know what.. I hate that too! I don't dress like a stripper or a prostitute, but if I want to wear shorts in the summer then why the hell not? And also, I go to the gym 3x a week and I work very hard to look this good, I'm not doing it for nothing. Also, I have my tongue/bellybutton pierced and 4 tattoos (which can be covered, if I want) and I think they're fabulous.

Kwyana - posted on 08/26/2009

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I UNDERSTAND WHERE U COMING FROM CAUSE WHAT YOU WEAR DOESN'T SAY WHAT KIND OF PARENT YOUR ARE, RIGHT. IM 18 WIT A 2YR OLD BOY..I PERSONALLY WOULDN'T WEAR SKIMPY CLOTHES IN FRONT OF HIM BECAUSE THAT'S NOT THE TYPE OF GIRL I WANT TO SEE WALKING IN MY HOUSE IN THE FUTURE TALKING ABOUT SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND OR PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY. NOW IF I HAD A GIRL I WOULD SHOW/TEACH HER THAT SHE CAN SHOW YA CUTE BODY N CURVES WITHOUT HAVING TO SHOW TO MUCH WIT THE SKIMPY CLOTHES.

ITS ALL OUT OF RESPECT FOR MY CHILD N MY IMAGE AS A YOUNG MOTHER. US AS YOUNG MOTHERS GET JUDGED JUST BY WALKING DOWN THE STREET PUSHING A STROLLER SO FOR US TO HAVE ON SKIMPY CLOTHES PUSHING A STROLLER IS OVER THE TOP TO PEOPLE.

AND THAT'S Y THEY JUDGE BECAUSE THEY THINK WE TOO YOUNG TO RAISE A CHILD, WE WAS FAST N UNPROTECTED, UNEDUCATED, LOOKING FOR OUR PARENTS TO DO EVERYTHING FOR US.YEA THEY SAY IT WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING US, JUDGING OUR LOOKS.

AS FOR THE OLD MEN N THEIR STARES THEY GOING TO STARE REGARDLESS WITH OR WITHOUT THE SKIMPY CLOTHES.THEY ARE OLD N LONELY WIT NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT BUT A YOUNG GIRL TO CATCH THEIR EYE

Hailey - posted on 08/26/2009

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I was 16 when I had my son I am now almost 18. I don't dress in short clothes most of my body is covered up most of the time except of course in the middle of summer. I still get the dirty looks from old people. My biggest hate is when an elderly lady will push in front of my stroller to get on the bus if she was there first I would have allowed her on first but they have no right to physically push my sons pram out of the way. Would this stuff really happen if I was a 30 year old mum I don't think so.

Shaylene - posted on 08/26/2009

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Having my son made me want to dress more grown up and have more of a "mom look" Not saying it is for everyone and I do still dress down in the summer. I'm just careful about it because yes we may like to wear skimpy clothes, but it's not about us anymore. It's about when our kids are in school and how they will have to deal with what other parents/kids opinions of us are. Weather we like it or not that is just how todays sociatey is and I like saving myself some greif

Justine - posted on 08/26/2009

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i get that all day long! i work at the front desk and i have lots of pictures of my baby on the side wall. I always get "is he yours?" and when i say yes they say omg you look soo young. i am usually not a quiet person but since i am at work i cant tell these people what i think about them. i have a tattoo on my wrist use to have my eye brow peirced but i had to take it out for work..and i want my tongue peirced! I cant wait to get more tattoos, i love them .. screw everyone who thinks it make us unfit mothers!

Amanda - posted on 08/25/2009

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i get looks all the time. i had my first baby at 20 but i look younger. i have tattoos and peircings and im not married. i just think some people are old fashion.

Bree - posted on 08/25/2009

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i got that alot at first when i became pregnant at 17, my fience at the time was the bad boy with the lip peircing and black hair and all of that etc. anways i was told by this lady in a store if he was the father n i told her yes and she said well you better make sure he pays child support cuz you know hes not going to stick around. I WAS SHOCKED! i couldnt believe someone could just up n say that about someone you dont even know! i told that lady that she was dead wrong and that hes been with me throughout the whole pregnancy n hes going to be a great father which turns out HES AMAZING. lol anways i know what it feels like to be judged..it sucks.



Take Care.

Ashley - posted on 08/25/2009

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well, i have piercings and tattoos and people constantly talk me and my husband both. my son is an awesome child and i am a great mother. and i hate when people are so open to judge.

Melissa - posted on 08/24/2009

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i had 6 piercings now im down to just my tounge bar and i have 3 tattooes (hatchet gurl, my sons newborn footprint and a symbol on my ankle)

Chloe - posted on 08/24/2009

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i was 19 wen i had my first n the looks i got then are nothing compared to the looks i get now cause i am 22 nearly 23 n just had my third who is 5 wks old. I was walkin down the shop the other day with all three children ages 3yrs, 16month and 5 weeks n this lady would probably been in her 40's had her one child with her she turns around to me n say's "dont u think u are to young for children u have enough girls like u should have their tubes tied exspecially if they are single" while her child was throwin a tantrum cuase she couldnt get wat she wanted i so wanted to smack her but no i politly turned around n said my partner is at work and i have shopping to do dont assume that all young mothers are single and mothers like u that dont know how to mind their own business dont deserve children n walked off very quickly i dread the day i go shoppin with my three children and two stepchildren

Ashley - posted on 08/23/2009

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Quoting Kayti:

i think personally ... once your a mommy, you should kinda dress like a mommy....



I totally agree but u can still look "sexy" and dress appropriatly

Kayti - posted on 08/23/2009

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i think personally ... once your a mommy, you should kinda dress like a mommy....

Sheree - posted on 08/23/2009

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I agree it doesnt matter how we look when we go out.. i feel as if they think if we dress like that, thats propbly how we ended up with a baby.. i think its totally wrong.. cuz some of the older really messed up mums go out dressed n looking worse then us n everyones fine with it! i myself cover up a bit more now that i have my boy jst so i dont get thoes looks but some days i dont give a S**t and dress how i want.. us young mums have to let out hair down once in a while i say.. so i say just go about your daily bussiness like any other mum like way you want to dress n everything other ppl should ahve more respect.. cuz i bet a few of them have even had kids at a young age or if not someone in their family has!

Ashley - posted on 08/23/2009

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wow most of your guy's situation is alot different than my town i don't really ever get dirty looks becuase most of the girls in my town are pregnant, or have already had a kid or two. I think it does matter what you wear though becuase you don't want to embarrass your children by wearing skimpy nasty outfits now a little bit of cleavage and the mini skirt i see no problem with and when i wear it i don't really get dirty looks it's better to be a lil conservitive but only becuase you should be showing that you are responsible enough to take care of your child by not looking like a hussy you can still dress "sexy" but you don't have to look like a whore to do it.

Melissa - posted on 08/23/2009

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when i go out i really dont care if ppl stare. we deserve to feel sexy. we brought a new life into the world.were damn good mothers and if they cant see that screw them. they can judge us all they want. their probally jelous coz we can pull it off and look good. not our fault their body cant jump into pre pregnancy shape as quick as our can.

Helen Katrina - posted on 08/14/2009

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when i go out i wear want i want if others dont like it and wanna stare at me then so be it, they dont no me they have no right to judge, it doesnt matter what we're wearing! what matters is raising our children well, and i no im doing a damn good job with raising my daughter. noones perfect and those who judge to quick, karma will always come back on them!! :D

Stefani - posted on 08/11/2009

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Im aware this post is old but this is exactly what i want to say without starting a new conversation . Im really tired of older people looking at me trying to figure out how old i am . I mean when they were 16 and 17 most of them were married and had a child , so why is it so bad now . Im 19 but i look like im 16 and i wont lie i dress like a 16 year old. skirts , shorts , Long Colourful socks . its just who i am and its always how ive dressed so why is it old people feel the need to stare . I even had a lady say to me when i was 6 months pregnant i think its horrible that your 16 and pregnant , i said its very nice you have an opinion but im 19 and you know nothing about me . besides just because your young doesnt mean your a bad parents my daughter comes first for me and my boyfriend

Samantha - posted on 06/25/2009

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Wow medford is so different from where you live, maybe thats cause its such a small town everyone gets pregnant..........Cause i walk out, and i dont get any dirty looks anything. I was asked by some guy if that was my kid and when i said yes, he said i looked like i was 15. I thought that was weird.

Amelia - posted on 06/24/2009

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I know exactly how you feel on this topic. I am 18 and even earlier today I was out with my 1 year old. I was taking the bus to go have coffee with a friend and someone on the bus asked if I was babysitting my younger brother even though I have my wedding rings on a necklace. Plus I had people staring at me when I was walking on the street. It's annoying but you need to let it roll off. It's not thier life to get involved in.

Kaitlyn - posted on 06/24/2009

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ok..so i just had my daughter 3 weeks ago, and went to school all the way up to that point. of course, i got a lot of dirty looks, and even had a teacher try to kick me out cause he thought i didn't belong in the school.

the thing is: I'm loving, I'm smart, I'm respectful, I have many qualities that make me a good parent.

do i think it's wrong for others to judge me (among other teenage mothers)? OF COURSE.

i also think it's wrong to judge others who are under any other sort of stereotype

what gets me through is knowing that among the many ignorant jerks out there who don't think you're worthy of parenthood, there are also plenty of understanding and supportive people to counter that. i focus on what those people think of me

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr.Seuss

Lauren - posted on 06/24/2009

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I'm not a child, I don't dress like a stripper and I won't embarrass my son. I don't go out wearing hot pants and a low cut top and have my boobs and bum out. I'll wear shorts and tank top, I don't think that's going to shame my family...??

Samantha - posted on 06/24/2009

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no but i dont wanna be defined like my sister and shame my family, my sister is a stripper and walks around in mini skirts dressed like a hooker. im not gonna be that, ill wear capris and a tank top but i wont be her, im an adult and a women not a child.

Lauren - posted on 06/24/2009

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Yeh, but if it's hot then why not wear shorts!! You wouldn't dress in trousers and a jumper in summer would you??!! Clothes DO NOT define whether we're a good or bad mum.

Samantha - posted on 06/24/2009

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i try to dress responsible and more adult since i am an adult i dont wanna feel like im 11 with a doll.

Lauren - posted on 06/24/2009

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If it's hot, why not wear shorts or mini skirt??!! I wear whatever I want whether I have my son with me or not. Clothes dont decide whether I'm a good mum or not. I also have two tattoos and plan on getting one or two more. I also smoke socially when out with friends, but NEVER around my son!!!!!! None of this makes me a bad mum, my son is my world, and I would feel that way if I was 30!! Good on ya girls!!

Samantha - posted on 06/24/2009

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Sorry but i do push a stroller with a cigarette in one hand, but i dont drink, and i think im a very wounderful mom. You think im a bad parent cause i smoke?

I also have 56 piercings a 2 tattoos.

Ashley - posted on 06/18/2009

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I hate that fact that we are judged on stupidness...I have brown pink blue and purple hair, 6 piercings in each ear, my nose and lip pierced and still go out with my daughter in skinny leg jeans and a shirt. Honestly I dont care what people think. I think if everyone worried about themselves a little more instead of sweating everyone elses lives this world woud be a better place. Im 21 and was married at the time I became pregnant. Funny thing is I am looked down upon because Im not married anymore...although I left him because he was on drugs and I didnt want that around our daughter...funny how this crazy messed up world is!! I have old people come into work and tell me I'm to young to have a daughter that is 18 months. Dont sweat the small stuff...go on doing you...apparently its working for you and your child!!

Brittany - posted on 06/16/2009

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I think it's disgusting how our society judges people on appearance. I was 19 when I was pregnant with my daughter ( I look much younger) and I got so many dirty looks.To them it didn't even matter that I was married to my baby's father. It drove me nuts. It shouldn't matter either way!! People are so freaking judgemental. When my daughter was 4 months old I found out that I was pregnant again! It was a total shock, We had been using protection but apperantly I just happened to fall into the 1% that may end up preggers. I get terrible looks and comments. It drives me crazy! I love my babies and I have given up my life for them. I gave up college so I could be home with my little girl and be the best mom possible! I don't wear mini skirts, but I do wear shorts and tops that show my boobs as I am very proud of them ( i am naturally an E). People are constanly giving me disapproving looks and they give my husband pity looks like "poor man is married to a whore". I wish that everyone would stop judging each other and take the time to get to know us. We are all beautiful no matter how different we are and we are all wonderful mothers because we love our children and do what we feel is best for them.

Nichol - posted on 06/15/2009

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i have a full sleeve, a chest piece, a neck piece and a lot of piercings. i get looks when im with my son, but everyone has a different view on these things.....especially those from an earlier generation. its about respect. they can look, but if they judge you or say something dont be afraid to say something back...like its my body or how does this concern you. being a mommy, you shouldnt start screaming at people or want to fight them. just be the bigger person. who cares?? you like it then there is no need to feel insecure because people are looking. who knows? maybe they are looking because your tats are interesting!!

Amanda - posted on 06/15/2009

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well on the one hand i can sort of see it only of the whole "setting a good example" thing. will how fast kids are growing up now.. its kind of scary! most the time its fine as long as you know your not wearing a mirco mini and a tube top that barely covers! i get looks if i wear something a little lower cut... i have a big chest so it seems if im not wearing a high necked outfit i get looks! i personally think short and a tank top are fine.. whats wrong with it? as long as its not the dead of winter and wtf are you doing wearing no clothes? are you trying to get sick?! but with the hardly any material in the winter thing that goes for everyone not just moms! but i can tell you what they're thinking most likely either



"gee wonder how she ended up with a kid" (heavy with sarcasium)

or

"wonder if she even knows who the father is"



people are horrible judgemental beings! im pregnant with my second my first is 13 months and im doing it alone and people automaticly assume my kids have different fathers!



but with the clothes thing seriously... they should be looking more at the fact that at least the mother is BRINGING her kids out and not just ditching them with a family member and going out themselves!

Amy - posted on 06/14/2009

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im just turned 20 last month and I have a 14 mointh old. I have 9 tattoos and a lip rings I am always looked down upon which I think is crazy because I spend more time teaching and loving and playing with my son than any 30 year old parents i know. My parents tell me everytime I get a new Tattoo that i am going to embarress my son. It used to bother me but now i just laughbecause I know my son will always love me .

He doesnt even understand. lol the other day i caught him trying to write with a pen on the back of his ankles . I asked what he was doing and he said momma and pointed to my tattoo lol. The way I see it what i look like on the outside is what everone else can see but my insides are all that matter.

Sid - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

I totally agree. I was 18 when i fell pregnate, I had 19 piercings, a few tattoos and live in singlets and skirts. After the birth of my baby girl i was amazed by the amount of dirty looks and the number of random people telling me, "dont you think you should take your piercings out and be a respectiable mother" I was shattered. My piercings are apart of me, Ive had them for years and in no way to the change my mothering abilities.
Just because we are mothers doesnt mean we have to rap up and cover every inch of skin.
We to need to feel beautiful (especially after gaining all that pregancy weight, it feels good to show what you've got)
I think they should mind their own business!
We are who me are,age, piercings, tattoos, clothes, the lot. Its all just stuff. It doesnt have anything to do with us as a parent.



Jessica, I feel you, man.



It's true!! Our tattooes and piercings are totally parts of our lives and I don't think there'll be any removal of either ever. Yes.



Just talking about it makes me cry. :)



Take care, Jessica.



And give my hugs and kisses to your baby girl, ok?



Hugss....

Sid - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Ashley:

I have a 2 and half year old son, and i get them looks all the time, it will happen no matter where you go, or anything, I have tattoos and my lip pireced. but i think if you wear skimpy clothes, or have pirecings or whatever, even if you weren't a young mom. You would get them looks lol, people judge so much. Im just rambling on , im sorry.


 

Sid - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Ashley:

I have a 2 and half year old son, and i get them looks all the time, it will happen no matter where you go, or anything, I have tattoos and my lip pireced. but i think if you wear skimpy clothes, or have pirecings or whatever, even if you weren't a young mom. You would get them looks lol, people judge so much. Im just rambling on , im sorry.


 

Sid - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Laura:

I get those looks too. I walk around in my jeans and halter top or whatever top that shows just a little bit of cleavage, and I also have 3 piercing in each ear. It drives me nuts.

And a lot of times especially if I'm out with my husband and kids. He used to have a tongue ring and when my son was little he would stick his tongue out and let him play with it. It drove me nuts, but my son at the time was 6 months old and would laugh his butt off when my husband would stick it out and then pull it back in really fast. That was entertaining. We always got disgusting looks, and most of the time still do.

Just because we dress the way we do doesn't mean that we're bad parents. Our kids are well taken care of and have a roof over their head, lots of love, toys, quality time with us, and everything else that goes along with being a parent.

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son and 18 when I had him. My husband graduated college in sept of 07 and our daughter was born the december after. I couldn't imagine my life with my kids and my husband. They mean the world to me and nothing will ever change that.

All that matters are our kids. Remember that girls we're not bad moms no matter what age. Our kids mean the world and nothing is going to change that.



Yes. I really agree with you. I have a lip and monroe plus tongue piercing.. I just did a tattoo of my daughter's name on the back of my neck. It's only visible when I tie my hair up.



I did it out of my own love for my Baby Amber and it's just something to remind me of the pain I went through before, during and after her.



What really touched me deeply was your last passage; " All that matters are our kids. Remembe that girls.. We are not bad moms no matter what age. Our kids mean the world and nothing is going to change that. "



It really made me smile... :)



Thanks, Laura.



Hugss...

Sid - posted on 06/12/2009

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To Brooke - Yes!! Correct!! Seriously what makes thwm think they're a better mother than we are?? I love your words.. :)

Sid - posted on 06/12/2009

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Exactly!! Like seriously so freaking WHAT if we are young and preggy?? Atleast we love our babies ENOUGH to sacrifice our freedom and time for them.. Gosh...

Jessica - posted on 06/05/2009

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I totally agree. I was 18 when i fell pregnate, I had 19 piercings, a few tattoos and live in singlets and skirts. After the birth of my baby girl i was amazed by the amount of dirty looks and the number of random people telling me, "dont you think you should take your piercings out and be a respectiable mother" I was shattered. My piercings are apart of me, Ive had them for years and in no way to the change my mothering abilities.

Just because we are mothers doesnt mean we have to rap up and cover every inch of skin.

We to need to feel beautiful (especially after gaining all that pregancy weight, it feels good to show what you've got)

I think they should mind their own business!

We are who me are,age, piercings, tattoos, clothes, the lot. Its all just stuff. It doesnt have anything to do with us as a parent.

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2009

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Quoting Emma:

I dont think you'll ever dodge the dirty looks! I was 19 when i had my first baby and i dont wear the skimpy clothes, but i get pretty dirty looks because im young. Im proud to be a mum to my gorgeous little girl and i wouldnt change it! I was a disgrace to my gran because i wasnt married to my fiance.. I think we need to be PROUD to be young mums and for us to know we'll be running around for much longer with our kids that those who are waiting till their in their 50's



i agree with you .. its like me and my mum shes young so she can still do things.



so when our kids are older we can go out and have a drink with them.lol.

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2009

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i'm 19 and have a 4 month old son.

i'm pretty much my old self .. just a mummy now ..

i don't really drink alcohol much now .. but i've never really been much of a drinker (apart from when i was in the last years of high school) .. i grew up!!

i practically live in my skinny jeans and pumps .. and nearly always have make up on .. i go all out when i have the chance. with it being summer as well i've started wearing skirts as well.

who cares what your wearing .. just because your a mum you don't have to start wearing frumpy clothes .. my mums nearly 39 and she still wears trendy clothes

Sam - posted on 06/05/2009

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i get wt u mean u shud b able 2 dress how u want and nt b judged by it bt lets face it th ppl tha luk down on u r th ppl so fed up of there own sad pathetic lives they gt nuffin else better 2 do try nt 2 let other ppl get u down u gt a gawjuss lil girl n as long as both of u r happy wt else matters ;)

[deleted account]

I totally agree... stupid old people... maybe they should worry more about the fact they will die before their kids graduates high school then us being teen moms :)

[deleted account]

oh and i am now 22 and i worn pigtails today to pick up my son from kindergarten and was told by another mother who is 52 with the same age kid as me that it wasnt very mom like to have my hair like that. WTF!!

[deleted account]

I think the worst experience i ever had was not long after i had my son he was a lil under a year and i was only 17 and i actually had a woman with 5 kids tell me " its really horribal your mother makes you take care of you little brother, you know you can call DCFS on her if she does this all the time. A young girl like you has no business caring for a child when you dont know how" i just wanted to smack her... but i held back and said with a smile to her face... well i think you have far to many children for your own good so maybe i should call DCFS on you since this is my son lady!!

Ashley - posted on 06/04/2009

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I have a 2 and half year old son, and i get them looks all the time, it will happen no matter where you go, or anything, I have tattoos and my lip pireced. but i think if you wear skimpy clothes, or have pirecings or whatever, even if you weren't a young mom. You would get them looks lol, people judge so much. Im just rambling on , im sorry.

Louise - posted on 06/04/2009

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older people are just julos just coz we have had a baby and are still look sexy fk them i love my baby no matter wat i look like x

Emma - posted on 06/03/2009

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I dont think you'll ever dodge the dirty looks! I was 19 when i had my first baby and i dont wear the skimpy clothes, but i get pretty dirty looks because im young. Im proud to be a mum to my gorgeous little girl and i wouldnt change it! I was a disgrace to my gran because i wasnt married to my fiance.. I think we need to be PROUD to be young mums and for us to know we'll be running around for much longer with our kids that those who are waiting till their in their 50's

Melissa - posted on 06/03/2009

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Quoting Shea:

when i go out with my daughter i try to look a little more conservative, im 15 and my daughter is 8 months old, i had her a month after i turned 15 and i get soooo many dirty looks, when i went to the zoo 3 teenage girls STARED and whispered 'omg she has a baby' and it was so 'loud' of a whisper i obviously heard it and i felt like GOING OFF on them but i jst thought, no im better than that. i got sooo many dirty looks i can't stand it. i havnt gone out TOO much in shorts since im in canada and summer is just starting(which i wear all the time in the summer, no matter what, i dont wear skirts because thats too open for me lol)



I know what you mean I purposely dress nice as I got sick of those looks. I am also in Canada and never where shorts what zoo is your favorite? My fav is the Calgary one.

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