Planned Pregnancies.

Julie - posted on 10/31/2012

More and more young females are looking for love

and

sex (temporarily)

AND

babies fill that need!



Those sad young ladies have no clue as to the responsiblities of motherhood... sad, huh?

Jazmyne - posted on 10/26/2012

Ok I realize this thread is old however I want to give my 2 cents before it is closed down. I got pregnant with my first when I was 9 years old. I had him when I was 10. I had no idea how babies were made, so it was not 'planned' by me. My "father" knew what he was doing, and knew the consequences. Ones _I_ had to deal with. Later when I was 16 I got pregnant again with the first 'real' sex I had. I was ignorant and the only sex ed I had was through school. I again gave my baby up for adoption. Now I am married, I know how babies are made I have a full education, however I accidentally got pregnant again on my honeymoon, because no condoms were used (I am allergic to latex). I now have a happy 9 month old little boy who I love the entire world out of. Yet I missed my entire childhood with one baby after the next. I couldn't do anything other teenagers were allowed to do. I was the outcast. I still am. Noone understands me, not even my husband. However I make the best I can out of a bad situation. If you are young my suggestions would be to wait, however I as well as most of you know that sometimes this is not a possibility. Be grateful for what you have.

Jackiey - posted on 10/05/2012

me and my boyfriend planned our baby girl shes due october 30th 2012. I am 13 gpoing to be 14 on october 18 this year . we knew we wanted a baby adn we were blessed she now has her full nursery and so much stuff. ill be doing independent studies and i plan on finsihing skool he is almost finished with skool so he will be taking care of the baby while i do my homework and everything has been going great. He is my love and world. i wudnt trade my life for anyone elses. also i am very responsible and mentally stable for a baby also financially . :) i dont care about the dirty looks i get. ill prove them wrong i know i will . everybody has the right to be treated with dignity and respect. :)

Amber - posted on 08/11/2011

at 20 you have a lot of growing up yourself. I wouldn't plan a baby until I'm 25 or so.

Leiliani - posted on 08/11/2011

Chloe, I'm sure you're going to be the greatest mom ever, but the only reason you're ready to have a kid, is because you are having sex and your period. Kids are the most beautiful thing in the world and yet expensive,and exhausting. Maybe you think you're ready because you might feel an emptiness and wanting to fill it with the innocent life of another human being. Boys lie, and he won't be able to pay for rent or anything so you are going to be stuck with a crying child all day and night. If you think you can be a good mother, put your baby first and wait. when he/she arrives and you have a job to pay for all those cute things you'll sure want your pregnancy will be more enjoyable. Believe me I have 2 and expecting, and was currently fired, so yes money is key to raising a child

Jami - posted on 05/13/2011

My husband & I planned a baby young, and are now waiting for #2 to arrive, also still typically "young"... We planned our first when I was 17, almost 18, and he was 21. We did this because, 1) we were engaged to be married and knew it was for real ( negativity on teen romance aside, he had been my best friend for SEVERAL years before the relationship even became intimate, and I knew it was right when he proposed to me, in my heart I knew I was ready and it was for real, and so did he ) We were planning on getting married a few years down the road, until he joined the navy. In a time of war, you never know when the last time you will see your loved one will be, if they are in the military-especially active duty(which is what my husband is). We decided to try for a baby before he left, in case he was gone for a while and we missed the opportunity that we wanted so badly. I was 6 months pregnant by the time we tied the knot-and we did it court room style, since he was leaving for bootcamp, and god knew where after that. We are still happily married 3 years later, and expecting #2, of whom was conceived just shy of him being told he was deploying over seas. Our son, noah is 2, now, and will be almost 3 by the time Andy gets here ( another boy :P ) but that's my story in a nutshell, and I feel proud of it. we have a great income, and I have a bachelor of science in progress, even though I am just a stay at home mom for now ( we don't need the extra income ), we have financed a brand new car with the luxury package, a three-story town home in southern california and it couldn't get any better! We have our struggles, as ANY marriage has at times, but I feel like I'm excluded from the rant, in the situation I am in. Just thought I'd share a good story, for encouragement that some of us are level-headed and independent, and plan babies young because we are capable of caring for, raising, nurturing, and supporting children at a younger age than what we consider average , today. When my husband arrives back in the states-SAFELY( speaking that into existence )- I have planned, the renewal of our vows and a white wedding to make up for the court house prenups :) Young moms can do it and LOVE it just as much as older ones. We have the same struggles, we all go through terrible twos and/or terrific threes, pre-school, daycare, school, drama, hormones, teenagers... We are just starting earlier and retiring younger :). But on a less-bright note.... the 14 year old needs a reality check. You can't even get a worker's MINER permit ( the ones that let you work ONLY a few hours a week, and you have to follow curfew if working like fast food, etc. ) and there is NO way you can support a baby from that, and a house note/rent, car payment and insurance, carseat, stroller, crib, bassinet, college fund, formula, DIAPERS, wipes, food, and child care while you work a few hours a week, and go to .... 7th or 8th grade JR. High? No ma'am. It's not going to happen. And you can't get married, even with parental consent until you're 16 I believe... That just has bad idea written ALL over it, dear! Do some research, first, unless it's already too late :////.

Megan - posted on 05/13/2011

Thank you. Its our lives so why does anyone give a crap. I take care of my children, I got married and not because i was pregnant. I got engaged then 4 days later found out i was pregnant. People were having babies younger than we are today, Hell people were getting married at like 13.. Its my life and i love it and its exactly what i wanted.

Shellee - posted on 05/13/2011

i was 18 when i had my baby girl. im 19 now. but i live with my husband and we were on our own, and trust me it wasnt planned. but when a 14 year old says that shes ready is unthinkable! she may want a child but she wont want to give up her nights of parties, goin out. her freedom. i dont regret havin my girl. i love her and everytime im sad all she needs to do is smile at me. but i do miss hangim with my friends and goin out with my husband on late date night. they dont understand how much work it really it is to support themselves and a child. and child can either make or brake you. its put a lil strain on our marriage a lil. one we werent prepared money wise. two cuz we just werent ready. but once we talked we understood more about how we felt. that doesnt work for everyone tho.there are pros and cons but 18 or 19 is the lowest. and not just because i got pregnant then either. but we can tell them all we want and nothin will change thier minds until they go thru it themselves. and then they will say the same things we are. i love my lil lylleean. she is our world. ♥

Megan - posted on 05/13/2011

I completely agree with Megan Pierce. If someone is fully capable of oing a great job at whatever age, who are you to look down on them for THEIR CHOICE. I mean sure, to me there's a problem with a younger girl (i'm talking 11, 12) wanting a baby at that age, but there are loads of people that do a great job and do it for the right reasons.

Megan - posted on 05/12/2011

I was 15 when i got pregnant. And YES it was planned. I don't care what anyone thinks. Why does it matter if someone else was young and had a baby its not your life.. I have 2 children now and no i would not change it and yes both of them were planned and i am 18 now. But its my life, Me and my husband knew what we wanted and we did it. We were engaged 4 days before we found out i was pregnant. So we had the love to begin with, then when i found out i was pregnant we both were so happy. And i did not do it for the attention or because other people were doing it. When i got pregnant i didn't know anyone else my age that was pregnant. When i was pregnant i found out about other people in my school that were pregnant. But really why do people care what other people do with there lives, You can feel sorry for us but i am a great mom and i know i can say that, tons and tons of people have told me that. So anyone that thinks i am wrong for doing what i did can get over it.

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2011

Hi my name is Jenni and this is a touchy subject, but I do think having a baby before you finish high school is not the way to go! I got with my husband my freshman year of high school and dated through high school. I moved out of my parents house at 16. then I got pregnant at 17. But he finished high school 05 and I had finished high school before my son was born. We planned our son and was even married at 17. Now we have 2 boys, 4years old and 2years old. We own our house and i am now 22 and my husband is 24. We have been together for 7 years and married 4years. Some people KNOW when they are ready and know they are with their soul mate, but you have to see past the puppy love! Kids are crazy having kids or trying to have kids at 13-16. Finish high school and be with your boyfriend for a few years! Maybe live with each other first. I lived with my husband for 2 years before we tried to conceive! It is not easy and I was VERY lucky that my husband makes good money and I could stay at home with my boys for the last 4 years! Good luck girls and please what and fully understand it is your choice not his! You will be the one up in the middle of the night, feeding doing diapers!

Samantha - posted on 05/12/2011

I think you cant judge peoples situation off of the internet, but assuming all of us planned our children is wrong i didnt plan my son but i love my son and i had him at 18.

But i can say just because you have a child does not make you a man or a women and it certainly does not make you a mommy being a mommy is alot more than making your parents take care of your kids. I took responsibility every step of the way got up with my son every night, i dont go out and party or do drugs.

I will also say, that saying taxes will go up cause of teen pregnancy is dumb and lame. Do you know anything about our government? Plus i see plenty of 30 and 40 year olds having children that they cant provide for and living off of the government.
Also saying that a child needs a father and a mother to raise it is dumb to, dont forget gay couples and there are plenty of single moms out there that have raised children.

Planning pregnancy is for people who can take responsibility. Theres a difference between having a hard time and putting yourself into a hole you cant get out of.

Petrina - posted on 05/08/2011

chloe, hunni, you cannot possibly think that having a baby with your boyfriend at 14, and both of you working "really hard" will keep you guys together. my sister's friend is your age, and her son is almost a year old. the only reason she has a job is because she works for family. i wasn't ready to have my now 9 month old daughter, and i'm 19. its hard having a baby as young as you are. i know that when i was 14, i babysat a lot, and i knew then that i would never be able to care for a child of my own. they are a lot of work, and it makes it harder when you don't know why they are crying. i know most parents assume that they'll just know what to do when the baby comes. i was like that, and im sure many of the other moms can attest to that fact as well. the truth is though, you really dont "just know" what to do. unless your boyfriend is 16, or going to be 16, and going to get a full time job, its going to be pretty difficult to care for your baby on your own without financial help from either set of parents. im not trying to bring you down hun, but i want you to think if you are really ready to do this on your own. chances are too, that your boyfriend and you will break up at some point during the baby's life. again, i dont want to bring you down, or sound like a b****, but it is true. most teen dads dont stay with their baby's mom. please, please, please, consider what you are doing to your life and your childs life. you need to think of what is best for both of you.

Karen - posted on 05/08/2011

I had my 1st at 17 fell preg at 16 and yes she was planned :) me and my then boyfriend (now fiance) were in a stable relationship both worked and got our own flat when I was 3mnths preg I knew the responsibilities of becoming a mum i practically raised my 2 younger sisters on my own until they where 6 and 8 and hav been through so much in my life some people couldnt even begin to imagine and these experiences made me wise beyond my years (as said by many others) i also fell preg again at 19 had my other little girl at 20 me and my fiance are getting married this year and plan to have another baby in a few years time and this will be our last

Nicole - posted on 05/07/2011

you CANNOT be ready to have a baby at 14, are you insane?! do you know how hard your life is going to be? try waking up 3-5 times a night to feed your baby, spend however long getting him/her back to sleep and waking up in the morning for school. that is if you dont drop out. try doing homework with a baby screaming in the background. as for your social life, say goodbye to it. your baby is your new best friend. there is no going out to the mall for however long you feel like being out, there is no midnight bowling. how are you going to afford money for formula, diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, carseats, etc? let me tell you, a part time job aint gonna pay for all of that. your relationship with the father/boyfriend will be extremely hard, that is if he even sticks around.

now, i got pregnant at 18. i had just graduated high school (well i was pregnant in summer school for 2 months). i couldnt start college when i wanted to because i was pregnant and would need to take a semester off anyways. i live with my mom, she wasnt so supportive in the beginning. after my son was born, my boyfriend eventually got a job to pay for the things our son needed. yes he lives with me, has never left me. all of my friends deserted me because i wanted to stay home with my son. HES my first priority, forever and always. fortunately, i was mature enough to know how my life would change. a 14 or 15 year old doesnt grasp the concept of motherhood and all the sacrifices that have to be made.

Gillian - posted on 05/03/2011

Me and my Hubby had our 1st when I was 15 (not planned) our 2nd at 19 (planned)
and I will be 21 when our 3rd is born (planned)

I personally wouldnt want any of my children to get preg at 14 like I did never mind plan the pregnancy I would want them to live their lifes without any extra stress from a baby

BUT saying that I belive a 15 yr old can give a child just as good of a life then any other aged parent me and my husband have, our children want for nothing and we both work hard to give them what they need (and
want within reason) and that SOME teenagers are alot older for their years. As long as a parent can surport thier child
in every single way and understand its not like buying a new handbag and not doing it for the wrong reasons (trying to 'keep' thier partner, 'extra' money etc) then i dont see the 'big harm'

You dont have to be over xx years to be a good mum. I know a few teen mums that are much better parents then some 30+yr olds

Morgan - posted on 05/03/2011

im 16 and 39 weeks pregnant and i did want my baby i wouldnt exactly say it was planned but we werent exactlly trying hard to avoid it because it was something i really wanted... i helped raise my little sisters who are now 5 and 7 and i still wasnt turned off having a child... my plan was to finish school but my school was the one to decide not to keep me on and advised me to leave... some people really are ment to be mums so young otherwise it wouldnt be possible to have a baby yet...i think alot of the people commenting on here are being very judgemental and putting a stereotype onto younger teen mums... yes i am a little scared even though i have the experience but i no that no matter what i am, with my bfs help, going to be the best mum i can to my little girl...

Tina - posted on 04/27/2011

ok To start let me introduce myself: I am 20 with a almost 2 year old. I got pregnant 3 months after turning 18 and 5 months after graduating high school. My daughter was not necessarily planned but I knew it was possible to get pregnant. When I found out, I was scared yet so excited. I grew to love that baby more and more everyday. Now she is mine and her dads entire world. I am also a college student at the local community college majoring in accounting. At the end of a long day of classes, I enjoy getting to the daycare and picking her up. Then we go home and make supper, do dishes, fold and put away the laundry i dried before school. Watch a movie or play a game and then off to bed. I love being a mom and thats all there is to that.
Now onto my teen mom opinion of 14-16 yr olds that try to get pregnant. At this age, you are not ready! Here's why:
1. ok I ask a 14 yr old why they want a baby and she tells me that its so someone loves her. I say to her "this is a number one indicator you are not ready, Yes a baby will love you but months down the road as a newborn, they dont love you they need you. My daughter is almost 2 and it wasnt til about 5-6 months ago that she could say love you mommy. a baby knows who mom is and always treats mom different then other people but just like adults, you cant love someone until you know what love is and infants do not know that"
2. my boyfriend will stay around. Ok no most boys run when they hear "baby". And sweetie if you need a baby to make your man stay then hes not worth it. If a man is gonna stay around they are gonna do it more likely without the baby.
3. I hear some teen pregnant girls say they will never discipline their baby. Well thats teenage talk and I said the same thing at 15 but It showed I was not ready for a baby. Because kids need discipline!!!
So there is my view on teens and babies. I also want to say that I do think teens can make good parents but I discourage teens from planning a baby!

Alisha - posted on 04/26/2011

Well I was not one of the girls you were talking about, but I knew a girl who was about 17 or 18 when her and her boyfriend decided to try and have a baby. He told her that he wanted to marry her and have a family w/ her. When the baby came, he split and told her it wasn't his! So, this could be one example. Another is some young girls try to get pregnant because they think it will keep their boyfriend around, which, at that age, most are not looking for more responsibility!! I think that some teens may think it will be fun and they will have someone who will always love them, and do not realize the day in day out end of how much work it is. A child is pretty much a forever commitment that you can't just break if you get sick of it.

Ashley - posted on 03/31/2011

Okay, for one i didnt have my daughter untill i was 18 years old. But i did always want to start my family young. Im not trying to promote it. I love my life the way it is, but if i could have re thought about it i never would have dont it, so i could have gone to collage first. But my reasoning behind the fact that i wanted to have my family young. And to be all honest by young i mean like 14, was because my mother passed away when i was 10 years old and i never had a father figure in my life.

I grew up with my grandparents and i was depressed and felt like no one loved me. I decided that if i had a baby that baby would love me. It's different now cause i do whats best for her not me and my depresstion has gone away since i had her..

But i consider myself a good mother. I know parents that are 28 years old and horrible mothers.

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2011

I always find it interesting at the assumptions people make (on that note sorry to person I made mistake about talking about chole when they did not mention a name) chole did not give any information away other then she had partner, belief in working hard, her age and wanted family young.
Many mums on here probable had a baby at same age or around it and know how possible being a good mum at that age is and so forth. The only warning I would give is be prepare for prejudgment. Don't think just cause your a good mum, providing, doing all the right things, even if your partner is working so your not living of the system etc. you won't be seen as a bad mum by strangers. You can have the healthiest, happiest, well dressed baby and really practical top pram and you will still be given dirty looks by strangers cause of your age. Then there are the ones who feel they have the right to say derogatory things to you in front of your child cause of your age. It is confusing and offensive, specially if there are other kids at shops to older mums in cheap strollers, grubby looking and eating junk yet cause of your age this stranger feels they are better mums then you. It really blows your mind.

I hate how if you a teenage mum and unsure about something its cause your too young, but if your an older mum and unsure about something well its something every mum goes through! (I'm noticing this as i mid twenties now and starting to prepare for my 2nd child.)

Megan - posted on 03/24/2011

Excellent points, Jenn. Ones I thought of, but forgot to mention, haha.

I've noticed that no one has commented on my specific scenario, and are still honing in on Chloe. I'm actually interested in getting an outsiders perspective. It won't change my mind, but I always like to hear people's opinions, as long as they are polite.

Megan - posted on 03/24/2011

I agree with you, Jamie. Every woman has potential in her to be a fantstic mother to her child.

But, there are also other factors, such as her mental state, maturity and general knowledge. Most girls don't realize that it's not just a baby. It's a person. They grow up to have thoughts, feelings, and a personality all thier own. And alot of girls also don't realize that the infant stage, that's the easy part. When they toddle, they get into everything, and as they get older they want things, as well as need things. There's a whole bunch more dimensions than just a baby. Younger girls need to think ahead to 5, 10, 15 years from now when that baby is grown, how are they going to deal with all of those challenges?

Jenn - posted on 03/24/2011

To an extent it does. Because a "Good Mother" provides and takes care of her baby. How can a young girl aged 14 realistically do that when she can't drive let alone get a job? Yes she can still love and care about her child, but she cannot possibly provide and give stability to her child herself. The responsibility would fall on her parents which is not only selfish but also inconsiderate. If you're bringing a life into the world personally I believe you should at least be able to drive to the doctors appointments as well legally hold a job.

Jamie - posted on 03/24/2011

a womans age does not determine whether she will be a good mother.

Jenn - posted on 03/21/2011

Ok to keep this as nice, and positive as possible.... it may get hard to do, but please believe my intentions are good.

Most of the comments I've read posted here about being well educated, and mature enough completely blew my mind! Look at the grammar, and ideals posted! I'm by no means trying to be the grammar police but my goodness! A typo is one thing, but not knowing the difference in spelling for I KNOW vs. I NO, etc and claiming you're ready for a child blows my mind.

Chole, you're 14yrs old, how do you plan on supporting your baby, taking him/her to doctors appointments, paying for food, shelter, clothes, toys, etc? I'll tell you how, by your parents and the government! You have not even yet put money into our government via taxes and you're going to have hard working, tax paying citizens/strangers along with your parents taking care of your child! That is incredibly selfish!

I had my Son two months after I turned 20yrs old. I'd been living on my own since I was 15yrs old, paid all my own bills, got a job about 3-4 months before I turned 14, had two brand new cars I worked hard to pay for as well as bought a house with my Husband (then fiance) two months before our Son was born, had money saved aside for our Son, had everything we needed for him, and guess what?? I still wasn't ready!!

Becoming a Mother isn't all glamour or using your child as an accessory! Please reconsider throwing your childhood away because you've got baby fever at the moment. You've got an entire life ahead of you to become a parent. At least be able to stand on your own and support yourself first before becoming a parent and having a small life depend on you for its every little thing! Babies shouldn't have babies.

Some situations are completely different, but to PLAN to have a child, when you're still a child yourself is not only ridiculous, but absurd! Think about what your child truly deserves, before you make a selfish mistake!

Taygan - posted on 03/21/2011

Chloe, no 14 year old is ready for a baby. you may think you are ready but there is no way a 14 year old can get a decent enough job to have a baby. You are still a baby yourself. i believe 16 is to young, but a 16 year old is still wayy more responsible that a 14 year old. You may have wanted a baby for a while, but you definatly should have waited a few years. How are you supposed to finish school.? you still have another 3 or 4 years of school. STUPID choice... You just gave up any chance of having a teen life. Going out with friends, dances, etc. You are going to have to grow up very fast

Megan - posted on 03/21/2011

Sorry, what do you mean by that? :S

Krystal - posted on 03/21/2011

Well, God since you asked for "these young mothers" to pretty much defend their choices. Well, I guess that makes a HUGE difference.

Freya - posted on 03/21/2011

it is worth everything and who is normal these days 1 of 3 people are clinically depressed and some people are just encoded to be a mum, like i think my mum and i thought there is no way i could be a good mum like people say i act really boyish and just wanna have fun, but like i even bake for athena now, so some people (the ones that get pregnant for fun) are like ruining the whole creating a life thing hahah

Megan - posted on 03/21/2011

Haha, thanks. I think I hated that most. Her mom would take her to the fair, and I would have to stay home. I would get her all dressed and what not, and pack her diaper bag and then she'd just whisk her away. And she would tell everyone 'oh aubrey did this and now she's doing that' and I'd sit there like, 'you weren't even here! I helped he rdo all that!!' That's partly why I was so excited for my pregnancy in the fall. I though, wow, this is going to be MY baby, and I get to do all the fun things AND all the responsibility things too. I mean, I was excited for the sleepless nights again. I liked being depended on so completely,. Maybe I'm not normal, I don't exactly know. But I was so happy when I found out I was going to be a mommy.

Another note aswell, I have been with Kyle for 2 years as of today, and we were firends previous to that and are very close. He's my best friend :'). So it's not as if I'm doing this behind his back. We have talked it through, and we still talk about it from time to time aswell.

Freya - posted on 03/21/2011

i truely agree people like you are born to be a mum! :) i just cant wait for someone like you to experience it with that child they conceived like i think yea you looked after someones baby as if she were your own but when you have your own things will be even better ie no one can take your baby away from you, no one can love your baby more than you can stuff like that. :)

Megan - posted on 03/21/2011

I agree. There was a reason, whatever it may be, that my pregnancy was not viable in the end. But I was put through being a mother to a newborn that was not even my own. I bought her toys and diapers and etc because her mother was always out with her boyfriend. I know how expensive diapers and formula are, and how much work and energy you have to put into a baby. I was a damn good mother to that little girl, and I haven't seen her in three months because my fiance's mother has disowned him for trying to do the right thing by me and our baby. So of every teenager who is thinking about having a baby, I know from personal experience what it's like to get up at 3 am to feed and change a baby, and then try to get them back to sleep. My fiance and I did everything for Aubrey, except concieve and give birth to her. I'm getting a little heated, but that's only because I don't like when people assume I don't know what it's like, just because I don't have a baby. I looked after a baby that was not my responsibility, and I personally think I did great with what I had. Not every story is the same, and people shouldn't generalize, because there are women like me who get offended deeply by it. It's not a perfect world though, so I'm not pointing fingers or anything. Just something to keep in mind. There are some of us who know what we're getting into.

Freya - posted on 03/21/2011

yeah, i love being a mum though, it is amazing, just waking up and going in to see her beaming at me it feels soooo good and like shes just learnt about kissing and shes sooo cute like pulls her lips tightly closed (not even in a kissing position) and presses her lips against yours its the most beautiful thing watching her grow and learn, i hope you get that same feeling soon! but also even if you miscarried the rule i live by is that the right thing happens at the right time, and maybe then wasnt the right time but next month or something.. it just makes you feel better about the hard things

Megan - posted on 03/21/2011

Yeah, that's why I watch. That's why they make the show the way it is, to draw in an audience. It works, and it always has. Tv wouldn't be successful if it didn't, lol. I tune in every week because I find it interesting, and I can feel for the girls on the show at times when things get to the worst place you think they can get. But the reaction from younger teens, and pre-teens now worries me too. pre-teen pregnancy is just NOT okay. Under ANY circumstances. Unless of couarse someone is raped, that isn't thier fault. But other than that, it's not right. I think that MTV should better protray the difficulties and such that they go through, and not have it just be eye catching drama. That's why the shows cause people to get pregnant. It doesn't 100% protray what it's like to have a baby.

Freya - posted on 03/21/2011

yeah megan, like i dont have a problem with teen pregnancies it would be pretty hypocritical its the statistics that worry me (i love the shows, its the whole ohh i wanna see what happens with that storyline, i just hate how its purpose has actually had an opposite effect)

Megan - posted on 03/21/2011

Freya, I feel the same about those shows (although my mom and I are religious watchers of teen mom 2). Some of the girls I find very whinny, and it drives me nuts. Others are just completely idiotic and irresponsible. But because the girls are in the public eye, and get paid in the thousands to display thier private lives, younger girls think 'Oh cool, I can be on tv and make money, and all I have to do is get pregnant? COOL!' That is just ignorant, and I in no way condone behaviour like that. If you're that immature to not see the reality of the lives of the girls in these shows, then you should not have a baby yourself. In my opinion, its about your maturity and your ability to handle adult responsibilities. Every situation is different, yes. But for the girls who try to get pregnant for popularity, or to get on tv, or because it's 'popular', that is just plain not okay. It's people like that that give teen moms a bad rep.

Freya - posted on 03/21/2011

i think im too young to have a baby hahaha. i do think the major part of parenting takes on average 20 years so maybe they think if they have one when theyre young theyll only be in their thirties when their child leaves the nest... i think the 16 and pregnant show has caused more issues than it has taught teens to be careful, so many 16 year olds want to have babies like the 16 and pregnant girls, this really worries me because when you have children young there is a far larger risk of your offspring having children young also... it worries me that this will interfere with the life cycle...

Megan - posted on 03/21/2011

Personally for me, I am not doing it for attention. My fiance and I want to start our family now. Our first pregnancy was unplanned, and it sadly ended in a miscarriage which deeply devastated us both. Personally, I know that I will not miss out on anything as far as being a teenager is concerned. I don't have the normal 'go out and do whatever' teenage life. I don't like going to parties or anything like that, and (this is a very long story, so I'll just give you the important details) my fiance and I had to raise (not babysit, raise) his baby sister from when she was about a month old, until she was almost 6 months old, and for 3 of those months I was pregnant. So I am fully aware of the financial, physical and emotional demands of having a baby. I turn 17 in a few days time, but I am far more mentally mature than that. I know what I want, and I know what the reactions of getting pregnant and having a baby right now are for me, and I know that my fiance and I can do it. We did very well with his baby sister, and we are always careful with money and know how to budget properly so we have everything we need. We want a big family, and we always said we wanted to have our children fairly young, so that we would still have the energy to do things with them when they were older, we just didn't know we would be wanting all of this now. Right now, we're living with my mother, yes. But we will be getting our own place before we have any children. We I have calculated all possible expenses for moving, as well as for a new and growing baby and we know roughly how much we need. The truth is though, that this is what feels right to the both of us, and we love each other and are commited to each other fully. To me, that is what truly matters. If you have the knowledge and responsibility, it shouldn't matter how old you are. I know what you're going to say - what about school?. Well, believe or not, neither of us wants me to work. We both want me to be a full-time SAHM, and have my fiance work full time. He will be finished school in a couple of months and is looking into the possibility of joining the armed forces. And if not, then he will be looking for employment elsewhere, bu bottom line is: we are not doing this for fun, or for attention. We are doing it because we know that we can be great parents, and because we both want to be parents right now. We want the responsibility and all that comes with being a parent, even if we are young. And to be honest, no one is ever ready for a child. Not even if you're in your 30's. It's a learning experience, so if you're 14 and saying you're ready, that just proves you don't know the reality of becoming a parent, and that you are, in fact, not ready to even think about it.

Jennifer - posted on 03/21/2011

Michelle- I honestly didn't assume Chloe is American, nor did I direct the post to her. I directed it to ALL little girls that young trying to conceive.

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2011

I have to ask Jennifer... Why do you assume Chloe is American? Nothing in her post or what u can see when u click on her name suggest she is American. I assume you are cause of what you said about legal working age, gov, assistance, medicaid and food stamps.

Jennifer - posted on 03/20/2011

No one in their right mind should try to get pregnant at such a young age. Who tries to have a life wholly depend on you at the age of 14? You can't legally work, you can't legally drive, you can't legally get any kind of government assistance (raising a kid is extremely hard and expensive). So please explain to me why you would do such a thing? A child deserves TWO parents who love eachother, and can fully support a child. I am 20 now. My fiance' and I got pregnant when I was 16 and he was 18. I had him when I was 17. I could tell you it was terribly hard, but I didn't try to get pregnant. But as soon as we found out we were, we got our own house, my fiance' had just graduated high school and got an excellent job working at Shell Oil Company plant, and everything. We didn't plan it, but we surely had everything we needed and did it completely alone. Noone ever helped us financially. We've done everything ourselves. He bought me a car to get back and forth from school and doctor appointments and what not. He makes enough so that I can be a SAHM. I was a junior in high school when I got pregnant by accident and I was able to graduate my junior year because I was a year ahead of everything. So I think it worked out very well for us, we've been together 5 years now, and our son is 2 1/2. But there is a big difference in people trying at 16 and accidentally getting pregnant. And then TRYING FOR A BABY AT 14? You are still a child. You cannot do ANYTHING legally for yourself muchless a child. People tell you it's going to be hard, but you have absolutely NO idea til you actually have the baby. Then, it's hard. My son wasn't the easiest child either. He fell very sick at 2 months old with salmonella poisoning (they had a recall in his formula for it, how terrible right?) and was in the hospital for two weeks. Not to mention he had lost 4 lbs from it, and he was only about 9 lbs at the time because he had such bad acid reflux he couldn't gain barely anything. So put salmonella and acid reflux together, and you have a very sick, loosing weight, and "failure to thrive" child (as they diagnosed him with afterward due to STILL not gaining weight). How can a 14 year old be mentally, physically, and financially prepared for that? There is no way possible. There is things like that you have to think about. You can't just think that the child is a baby doll you can just dress up, feed, and put to sleep. There comes with a lot of hard things, and a lot of horrible things (like in my son's case, and some even worse) that can happen that you cannot possibly be prepared for. There is so much you will miss out on being that young. I just get so frustrated seeing people do this. Teenage pregnancy really is on the rise. Because all around my town, I can guarantee you will see plenty of teen moms. It used to be so rare to see them, but now it must be in the water because EVERYONE is. I guess all we can do is pray for these people, and wait for taxes to go up because they seem to think that it's okay to have babies, and live fully on government assistance. And at the rate teenage pregnancy is going, taxes will go up. Medicaid, food stamps, etc. etc.

Michelle - posted on 03/20/2011

you know what i hate? I worked full time and lived independently by age 16. finish high school with rank of 89 out of 100 went to university have lived overseas 3mths London and 6mths Northern Ireland my daughter loves Northern Ireland! she has also been to south Korea, Singapore, japan, Hong kong, Finland. she has tried ballet, jazz, tap, Irish dancing, swimming lessons (can swim a fifty meter lap, prop further if i pushed her) joeys, cheer-leading, guitar lessons, singing lessons, and her favorite thing she doing right now french lessons (she wants to go to high school in France), she goes to a private primary school and we live in a 2 bedroom townhouse in a nice complex where my child can run outside and play safely with neighbor kids, in a good area. Not a half bad life for an 8yr old? and not to bad if I say so myself as someone who had their baby when they were 16! but regardless of this i will never be seen by many as good as a mum that started at 30 whos kid never gets taken overseas, doesnt do extra ciriculum activities, doesnt pay for better school etc, simple cause of age.

I'm not saying it was easy i worked very hard but so does a mum who had her kid at 30! yes ther were points I cried cause it was hard, yes ther were points where i felt i was banging my head against a wall! but i was very lucky cause of mount of activities my child was involved in i met married mums of all ages, single mums of all ages, divorce mums of all ages, more money then they know what to do with mums, (ironically none of them ever seemed or stated they were happy) looked proper but in ridiculously amount of debt mums, IVF mums of all types. So i learned my emotions where common and the experiences where interesting (an older mum being told she was too old, that parenthood was about more then money, they OVER planed being called grandmother by strangers while i got I was too young, children were very expensive, that i needed to think things through more, and being mistaken for my child's sister by strangers. we always had good laugh over how people had no idea of our circumstances yet felt they knew so much!

planing a baby when u can't provide for REGARDLESS of ones age is wrong.

- - posted on 03/19/2011

I had my son at 18 - he wasn't planned.

I know what you mean Rebecca; WHY would anyone want to have a child so young?! And the worst part is that you don't realise how hard it is UNTIL you actually have the baby.

Obviously, if you're a good mother and do the best for your child, whatever that might be, then that's good. But girls who plan to get pregnant so young, then leave the child with other people alot of the time, what the fck! Lol, it pisses me off sooo much!

Rebecca - posted on 03/19/2011

Well excuse you Krystal, I am not attacking anyone by asking them to explain the reasoning behind being so young & wanting to have a child. It is in NO way alienating anyone or being rude. However, it was very rude of you to come in here & accuse me of such. If you would have read the thread the way it was written, you would understand that I do not have anything against young mothers. I'm one myself! I just didn't, & probably never will understand why young girls plan babies! AND AS FOR YOUR CAPS LOCK... WE CAN ALL READ! no need to put it in capitals, makes your post even more rude. Thanks for your input.

Christina - posted on 03/19/2011

Krystal, there is a huge difference (as I know you know) between a teenager being on birth control and falling pregnant, and a teenager who purposely gets pregnant or gets pregnant because she is being stupid and not using protection. None of us has anything against teenage mothers. We have a major issue with young teenagers getting pregnant on purpose because they want "a cute little baby to love and dress up!" No teenager under the age of 16 can even begin to care for a child alone because she can't even get a job to do so!

Krystal - posted on 03/19/2011

Considering this being the TEENAGE MOTHER forum, where the hell do you get off coming in here pretty much attacking these teens for their decisions (no matter how irrational or bad). Its not your life, just pray that it doesn't happen to your children. With that being said, I don't and will never be pro teen pregnancy. If you haven't graduated high school, never held a job for more than 6 months, or have ever lived on your own and paid a bill then no you should not be TRYING to get pregnant. But truthfully I don't think anyone should TRY to get pregnant before they turn 21 (if were going off the "still have so much to learn and experience" statement) To each her own.

Julie - posted on 03/17/2011

I think every girl dreams of becoming a mommie - right?

VERY VALID POINT!!!
Teen girls simply do not realize that it will end their youth, when they do.

Too, with so many mothers working I think our children are missing out on the love they need and deserve and are helpless to get it so having a baby seems the logical way to have someone love them - sad, huh?
Parents would be wise to make sure their teens are involved in good healthy activities such a church groups, etc., - to get to know others and to take up idle time.

Tasha - posted on 03/16/2011

i agree with you, i was a pregnant 16 year old ,but my baby wasnt planned. i remember all of the stuff i missed out of because i couldnt drink or smoke weed( yes i was a pothead). i am almost 20 now and i do miss partying, but i do enjoy having my son.

Tasha - posted on 03/16/2011

i agree with you, i was a pregnant 16 year old ,but my baby wasnt planned. i remember all of the stuff i missed out of because i couldnt drink or smoke weed( yes i was a pothead). i am almost 20 now and i do miss partying, but i do enjoy having my son.