Problem with my babies daddy......please HELP!

Alyssa - posted on 03/13/2010

Hey I'm allie, 19 && have a 9 month old son! And GIRL i was the SAME way no lie.. I would call my fiance out on EVERYTHING! And we faught and faught but dont worry there is a light at the end of the tunnel.. Ever since our son turn 5 or 6 months old it got a LOT LOT better... When your babys little you are just REALLY protective over him and I dont think theirs anything wrong with that... So you be strong and you can get through this. Right now your son doesnt know any better and I think it's better for you too have little fights now than not to be together! You know what I mean. And having a baby is hard on a relationship but working through it makes you STRONGER.. =] If you need anyone to talk to you can message me anytime. You guys will make it girl just remember to stay strong.

Brittany - posted on 03/12/2010

The only advice I have is to pick your battles. Some things just are worth fighting over and babies are more durable then you'll believe. My boyfriend and I fought a little more at first but once we both stopped and took a step back and assessed what was worth a fight and what wasn't we were fine. I don't know what your definition of "calling him out" is but to me that seems a little negative, maybe try saying it nicely and calmly, he may feel like you're attacking him.

Ashley - posted on 03/11/2010

hi jules, this same thing happened to me and my sons father. we were together for 2 and a half years when i found out that i was pregnant. Everything was great through the pregnancy and once my son was born everything changed. He fought with me about everything. Was a complete a-hole. My son is now 9 months and we haven't been together for about 5 or 6 months. I think the guys are too scared to grow up and they don't know what to do once the baby is here. We get this motherly instant once the baby is born but the fathers never do. So when we do tell them what to do they get mad at us because they tell us they know what there doing but in reality they have not a clue. I think you two need to go out to dinner and find a baby sitter for the baby for one night. Talk about everything that's going on. Don't fight about it cause it won't change anything. But tell him how you feel and see what happens. I never went back to my ex because he never changed, but some guys do.

Kerri - posted on 03/05/2010

Hey, i have exactly the same prob. I'm also 19, with a 7 mnth old son, and my husband just can't b bothered. I raise my baby, cook, clean, pay the bills, while he goes to work. He works 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, and seems 2 think he has a hard life... wouldn't u love 2 swap places wiv them?!? U need to take a deep breath hun. Many many times i've thought about chucking him, cuz it wud b so much easier without him, but i love him, so i don't. I don't know what to suggest, as i'm in the same place! Have u tried talking to him? i mean like a real heart to heart, or writing him a letter? It sounds daft, but if u write him a letter, and take the lil 1 out for a while, to give him chance to read it on his own, he mite get the picture? Maybe a cowards way out tho... not sure lol.

I'm here if u wanna talk tho!

Kerri xXx

Krystal - posted on 03/04/2010

I know how you feel. I am now 20 with a 5 month old daughter. My boyfriend of 2 years can be rough with her sometimes and I will call him out on it. We used to fight endlessly and stupid things until one day, I just sat him down in a civilize adult manner and told him she doesn't know how to tell him to stop when he's bein to rough and it can scare her and god forbid, hurt her. Ever since then, he's been pretty good, although he sometimes get to rough, all I have to say is "Ty, be careful she's just a little deffensless baby" and he stops. And that talk was about 3 months ago and we haven't had any real bad arguments.

Lisa - posted on 03/03/2010

Yeah things with my man have been a little on the edge ever since our daughter was born, almost a year ago. I know how it is. Something I noticed is that you said "my son" I went through a little phase where I called our baby "my daughter" and I didn't really want my boyfriend to do anything because there was a short time that he wasn't, and that made me angry. What you should do is sit down and think to yourself for awhile and remind yourself that it's not "your son" it's "our son". You know? I did that and things have been a little better since then. And remember that your babe gets annoyed and angry when the baby won't stop crying and he's trying to calm him down, and he won't, try asking him calmly to be gentle, and if you really think he's getting too rough and angry, take the baby from him and tell him to go relax for a minute. And if your boyfriend is still flipping out, leave the room without arguing. It's not going to help, and it'll just upset baby more.
It's always best to try and work things out your hardest. The past year hasn't been a boat ride for my and my boyfriend, we work extremely hard for each other, because we love each other, and I want my baby daddy in her life, 24/7.

Michelle - posted on 03/03/2010

okie my advice is your bf loves your son (not as much as you cuz you have the mommy heart) but i highly doubt he would do anything to hurt your baby. unless you think otherwise. guys just play rough, joke about it to him when its bothering you say something like "he isnt a football" lol me and my hubby have a good laugh about that all the time. just remind him he is a baby and there will be plenty of time to rough house later. dont make him feel like you think he is gonna hurt him. thats probably a big deal to him and hurts his feelings. i really hope it helps i had this same issue with my hubby and you just got to look at it like what if he said something like that to you? wouldnt you be hurt if he thought you were gonna hurt the baby?

Vanessa - posted on 03/03/2010

The excat samething is happening to me now! I'm the same age has you & my son is 9 months! me & his dad been together for almost 3 year too & since my son came things been way different! I been trying to work it out for almost 6 months now & it seems to be getting worst =( I just want the best for my baby but sadly the way his dad has been acting isnt close to good! I honestly think this is the end for us I am soo fed up with trying if he doesnt even make an effort! @ the end your just going to do whats best for you & your baby! idk how bad things are between you but if you think it wont get better then maybe your better off on your own! i'm pretty much a single mom doing everything for him & thats why i know im better off alone...

Holly - posted on 03/03/2010

Hope it helps = )

Holly - posted on 03/03/2010

Babies can cause more problems sometimes in a relationship because of the new responsibility and the huge life change. You just need to try to make time for you and your man. Communication is key, ask him how he is feeling and tell him how you feel. Try not to use blaming works like "You make me do this" say "I feel stressed when I see you do this"

Carrissa - posted on 03/03/2010

I know how difficult things can get. I am almost 19 and I have a seven month old girl. My husband and I are too fighting. The best advise I can give you is to stay calm. If you notice him doing something you dont like, just explain, Your a new mom and babies are fragile. I know you can work it out. Just sit down and explain how things make you feel. Ask him if he can be more careful and to respect you as the mother. He will be your little boy for the rest of yours and your boyfriends life.