Product of a Teen Mom

Ciara - posted on 08/06/2009

I am also a product of a teen mother, she had my oldest sister at 14, my brother at 17, me at 19 and my youngest sister at 28. I think the biggest support issue pregnant teenage moms face is not having someone to talk to in times of need. They need an outlet to go to that has childcare where they can be around other teenage moms and chat and be themselves. They need friends and family support so they have the courage and the resources to go to school and get careers to support their children.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/21/2009

I just realized that you said being successful WITHOUT the help of the system.



I still stand by my statement, but I'd like to add this. I don't plan on leeching off of the government forever, it's a temporary position I'm done with school and have a good job. I do feel that far too many people take advantage of welfare systems, staying on it forever and such. I think that there should be more government support for young moms, but I also think there should be a time limit. For example, if you haven't gotten off your ass and graduated high school in 5 years then you obviously don't need subsidized daycare because you're not doing what you're supposed to anyway. I think that the help and support should be given to those who need it and who will flourish with it, not just the lazy bums that like to sit around on their ass all day collecting welfare checks.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/21/2009

I had my son when I was 18 and graduated high school when I was pregnant. I live in a subsidized housing complex (cheap rent) and I have subsidized day care (free since I'm on assistance), and I'm going into my second year of college this September.



I realize that I'm extremely fortunate that I have financial support from the government, and I think this is the biggest thing for teen moms. Not being able to afford day care is the reason a lot of people never go back to school -- if everybody could have subsidy, there would be no excuse for people not to better themselves.

Debi - posted on 07/21/2009

I was a teen mom almost 35 yrs ago. I was 16 when I got pregnant and had my lst child a daughter at 17. Do I have any regrets? Absolutely NOT. I loved and still love every second of it and to me I feel very blessed that I had this many yrs w/my daughter. I know for many it has to be very hard and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone but your rite it does happen.. What do i think helps w/the success if it does happen? Family support most of all. Having your family to back you & help you makes the world of difference. Know what your getting into before you have sex. I knew it could happen. It was a possibility but once it did I knew I was responsible for a new life that was growing inside of me. If you don't have family get a support system somewhere. I myself would love to be able to help teen moms go thru not just the pregnancy but the labor. Delivery is tuff. I have had 5 babies and its tuff. A great coach makes a world of difference. Again, I don't recommend this route because you do give up a lot of your life but what you do gain from having the baby out weighs everything else. I love being a mom more then anything else on earth. I have been very blessed.

Tessa - posted on 07/20/2009

I compleatly agree with you. Just because we are young doesnt make us bad mums. your age does not determine your mothering ability. A 15 year old could have a baby and that baby could grow up to be the prime minister, while a 30 year old could have a baby and that baby could grow up in jail on drugs etc. It comes down to how you treat your child, who you are and how you show them the world and teach them, age has NOTHING to do with it

Veronica - posted on 07/19/2009

Kara, thank u so much for your response. Yes, it does help. God bless you and may you accomplish all that you set your mind to... if anything comes to mind, please feel free to send me a message.

Kara - posted on 07/18/2009

Hi i had my son when i was 17 im 18 now, the pregnancy was ok but because i dont look my age a lot of people made judgement and stared at my on buses and when i went shopping but i didnt let it bother me because they were just passing judgement and they didnt even no me. I was lukcy that i had support from both our families. I do think though that there needs to be more support from professionals for teen parents, while i was in hospital there were some midwives that thought I was too young and wasnt able to care properly for my son becuase I was only 17 I couldn't wait to get out and do my own thing without them being over at my bed every 2 minutes. Also I hate my health vistor as she thinks i am incapable of caring for my son she doesnt have children herself but yet she can sit and tell me how to raise my child. I still attented school when I had Tyler and i finished my A-levels, my fiance is in the army and I live by myself as he is based in a different country so I have had to do a lot of things by my self while trying to finish my education. I am going to start my degree in september and I am lucky enough to have the univeristy pay 85% of a private day nursery for Tyler to attend. I do think that there needs to be more money put in to help teen parents pay for a nursery so that they can finish there education which means they can get a good job and support their child instead of living of benefits. I am going to try my best at my degree so that I can get a good job to support my son and be able to buy my own house. But a lot of teen parents I know have give up and they just live of benefits and do not work or have an education but I feel that if they had help from the system they might be able to finish there education.





Sorry this post is so long, I dont no if this helps you or not but good luck with your organization and anything you need to know just ask. God Bless!

Veronica - posted on 07/18/2009

AMEN to that... I so wish that all moms felt that way about their kids. I have met some young moms that have been kicked out of their homes by their moms, who were once teen moms. In some instances, it is a cycle that many close their eyes to and simply state that thank God it wasn't my child but in essence, it could have been.



Instead of individuals passing judgement, they should try to get in the trenches and assist in whatever way they may be needed, even if it is to simply listen to the frustrations of a fed up mom. It truly does take a village to raise a child... and as women, we should not be okay with watching another mom struggle when we know that we may have something to offer, whether it is time, money, food, clothing, etc...



Please keep doing what you are doing and may God continue to bless you and yours!

Tiffany - posted on 07/18/2009

no problem! this is a topic that i am very passionate on!! anything i can do i am willing..... my husband and i talked and we would never want our child to be a teen parent because it is hard.. but if it ever happened we would still love him the same and help as much as possible. you just got to love you kids. and be open and allow them to talk to you.

Veronica - posted on 07/18/2009

Thank you Tiffany for your response. Congratulations on your success and I pray that you and hubby are blessed with your heart's desire... You are definitely an inspiration! :-)

Tiffany - posted on 07/18/2009

i had my little boy when i was 18... during the pregnancy was the hardest and most stressful time of my life... i was in love with the father we were together for 2 years and i wanted to keep our baby. his family made things very difficult for us.. i think that a teen parent just needs the love and support from the familys... i am not saying that by support the grandparents have to fiancially support the child or watch it all the time but just to except it and love the baby.... i also think that if you keep a baby at a young age you should be ready to work hard and do whatever you have to do to raise this child well. I found a good job and worked my butt off every day for my son. i really think that any young mom could do a fabulous job if they put the baby first and work hard. i had minimum asst. from the system.. i worked and my dad watched my son because he was on disability and couldnt work. i got a small apartment by myself and payed the rent. the only thing i used was the medical for my baby... if money got tight i went to the local food pantry and would get food that way.. now i am 23 my boy is for i am almost done with my degree as a dental hygienist i am married to his dad that had some growing up to do when my boy was born and we do great.. not in the system at all. trying for our next. :) so i guess all you need is a support system... my son is my world! and really i hate it when others judge... i know some older moms that have no idea what it takes to be a mother.

Amy - posted on 07/12/2009

I was 17 when I had my first son . If I had a support group back then that would of been a blessing.yes they are moms just like others..no one understands untill they walked thier shoes..I know from first hand expericence..All your so called friends leaves you and most of the time your alone. If I had to do it all over Yes I would..He is a blessing to me and has changed my life completley. So to all young moms out there ..My blessings are with you ..Never give up and keep on trying your best..I finshed high school with my son ..He was a year and half when I graduted but I did it ..Life is what you make it and you can do it .

Clare - posted on 07/11/2009

I have had issues with doctors being supportive. My first doctor told me that she felt I was too young (Im 19) and should think about an abortion or adoption. Luckly I switched doctors. I just want the support.

Ashley - posted on 07/11/2009

I am a teenage mother (in my mid-twenties now). I agree with the earlier posting: find a support network that encourages you to be better than the stereotypical teenage mother. I relied heavily on my family to get me through the tough spots. I now have a Bachelor's degree from a great school, and am close to finishing two master's degrees. I couldn't have achieved this much without my support network!

Claire - posted on 07/08/2009

I was a teenage Mom in the seventies. My mother helped me and my family was also very supportive. I continued high school and graduated with honors. My advice to teen mom's is to ask for help and you will be surprised how many of your friends and relatives will come to your aide. There were a lot of people in the 70's that shunned me and I just decided that I wasn't going to listen to their small little minds. Now it is more accepted but there are still those people who cannot walk a mile in your moccasins! If anyone wants to chat about this please do.

Amanda - posted on 07/08/2009

i do not understand completely what exactly it is that you are looking for, however i will repsond.

im also a product of a teenage mother as well as being one myself. wev recently taken a five generation picture of women, so my family tends to have em young XD

if theres soemthing u wanna kno go ahead and message me :))