Relationship needs help:(

Misti - posted on 08/15/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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ok well my boyfriend and i were bestfriends for 2yrs before we got together. we were together for 3months then we broke up and he cheated on me, then ended up with one of his exes. when we found out i was pregnant he didnt want the baby at first but then his mom asked me to move out (i was living there the whole time he was with this other girl) i was gone for 2days and he couldnt stand it. he missed me and the baby so we got back together. well 8months went by we had our daughter and still celebrated what would have been our one year because we agreed to put that 3weeks of not being a couple aside. but now that our daughter is here things are so hard. she is almost 3months old. we fight so much im having trouble finding the love we once had, and i dont know how to bring back all the feelings. i know deep down i love him but i think he might cheat again. what can i do?

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Amber - posted on 08/17/2010

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Well, honestly, once a cheater always a cheater. If you wanna take that risk of being cheated on again to keep ur baby's dad in her life, that's up to you.. But you guys were only together for 3 months so maybe he just wasnt in love yet? Anyway the first few months after a baby comes into your lives is always difficult, especially to first time parents with an unexpected baby. You should just give it some time, sit down and talk to each other about how you feel and stuff, try going out to dinner a couple times a month. Those feelings you are talking about, they probably wont fully come back because he decieved you like that, you will always be wondering if hes doing something beind your back, and you will think of it from time to time and remember that pain you went through.. Just try and connect with him better, and ask him how he feels about the whole situation. He needs to try too, it takes both people to fix a relationship.
If I were you, I'd leave and try and find a better, older more mature guy to treat me better than that. No one deserves to be cheated on! Good luck, I hope this helps!!!

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Melinda - posted on 08/17/2010

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ILL TELL YOU FROM MY EXPERIENCE....IF YOU GUYS ARE FIGHTING ALL THE TIME ITS NOT GOOD FOR THE BABY CAUSE YOU DONT WANT YOU BABY TO GROW UP THINKING THAT IS HOW HE/SHE IS SUPPOSED TO ACT...THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN AND I ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER FOR THAT REASON AND WE BOTH ARE SO HAPPY WE STILL TALK AND HANG OUT BUT WE ARE NOT TOGETHER....I AM JUST TRYIN TO HELP YOU I LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES AND I HOPE THAT YOU MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE

Michelle - posted on 08/16/2010

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its always hard to trust someone again!!! my ex cheated on me once he felt sooooo bad couldnt live without me blahblahblah got back together and did it again TWICE!!! its a hard lifestyle your chosing but i kno its not so easy to leave because you have a daughter now... if you cant trust him, its not worth it.. your the only one whos going to keep on suffering. i know its hard but be strong and think whats the best situation for your daughter and YOU!!

Marie - posted on 08/16/2010

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You need professional help to move on in your life and find Peace.

All the behavior you have described sounds very Destructive , unless you have ( very) low self esteem, and even if you do, this is NOT the way to be happy trying to fix things after they are already broken, nor can any relations ship survive with such negative behavior patterns.

You both first need to want to go and get help first as individuals, then as a couple.



All this sounds such a mess, to often girls seem to be addictive to "any attention better than non syndrome"



Not at all saying you are, heck the guy is a serial cheater. And not all can guys want to change.

Best thing count your blessings, and move on .



Sometimes the honest answers are not what girls want to her, but they can be the best ones, specially when guys are still acting out with immature behavior,boys.

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