scared about giving birth

Mariah - posted on 10/21/2012

Hi Emmily, I've had 2 kids and I remember it was painful but I can't remember it now years later. All it really is, is pressure. Women have had babies for thousands of years and if you can just trust your body and the baby to do the right thing you will be fine.

Try these MP3 downloads for Hypno-birthing, I think you will find them REALLY helpful:

http://journeysinwardhypnotherapy.com/se...

They will help you with your fear and give you techniques to relax and have your baby naturally!

Samantha - posted on 07/28/2012

I am 18 and was in labor for 26 hours! It's not as bad as everybody makes it out to be, but it is very very painful. I was induced and had contractions every 20seconds. I couldn't get a break! After 24 hours I decided to get the epidural and it was such a big help. I finally was able to sleep and felt no pain after.

Zara - posted on 07/27/2012

I´m 26, and 33 weeks pregnant with my first, I wouldn´t say I´m scared of giving birth, I´m more scared about complications occuring when I go into labour. my friend gave birth today at 24 weeks pregnant, both baby and mum are ok, but this has put more fear in me of any complications, both me and baby are healthly, but I am just terrified of anything going wrong while I´m in labour x

ANISHA - posted on 06/12/2012

I did alot of walking during my pregnancy so my delivery was literally painless. It is really not as bad as they show on tv. The only part that really was bad was when they had to sew me up when I tore giving birth vaginally, between the locals and the needle I had to be knocked out.

Grace - posted on 06/08/2012

Yes. It can be as bad as some say it is. I've also heard others say it was not so bad.
Preparation will ease the blow a bit, though.
I was young when I gave birth to my first child and I wasn't too worried about it. What I kept repeating to myself was" women have been giving birth for centuries, and likely with less medical assistance than I'll have.

Tia - posted on 06/06/2012

i had my baby with no medication atol :)

Tia - posted on 06/06/2012

it depends on your body & how much excersize youve gotten. make sure you excersize & get your body ready. GOOD LUCK!

Emma - posted on 06/06/2012

Hey, im 21 and i was really scared before I gave birth but it wasnt that bad. Some advice, don't listen to all the horror stories. I had lots of people telling me how painful it was going to be and i was scared before i went in to labour. There is some pain, but it will all be worth it. Dont think about the bad stuff, just go into the hospital with a clear mind, and practice the exercises you've learned, like the breathing and comfortable positions. What helped me was thinking about the baby im going to hold soon. Good luck and congrats

Pam - posted on 05/30/2012

Go for the drugs! No pain. Or call a hypnotist & have them prep & be with you when labor starts if you can't do or don't want to do or can't afford epidural drugs. Friend did this cuz town was too small to have anesthesiologist & she was happy w. the results.
Everyone loves to tell horror stories about labor. Just smile & ignore 'em. Some women don't have much pain at all, even w/o drugs. Plus you'll get a localized shot to numb the vagina a bit before you get the baby out. AND they don't do epesiotomies anymore, so no cutting required.
My 1st was nearly 9 lbs & I weighed 110, was in labor 8 hrs, but once had the drugs it was like I was pleasantly buzzed (hubby got the anesthesiologist after I apparently called him a motherf*cker and more, which is a word I NEVER used before in my life--be sure to tell anyone that whatever you say during labor doesn't count). Pushed wrong b/cause couldn't feel much when pushing, so had horriffic hemmorrhoids, but aside from being tired & hungry, I was OK. They said baby could be sluggish cuz of drugs, but he came out screaming & active.
I lived to have another big, healthy baby w/o any anesthetic (but it goes much faster 2nd time). Had started pitocin but wound up too late for epidural, so got the hard contractions w/o the drugs, but knew I would be a new mama in about an hour; one big scream, one big push & I was done. Recovered much faster w/o drugs.

Sara - posted on 05/21/2012

Hi Emmily,
Congrats on your upcoming baby coming into the world!!!
It's scary and very hard to imagine what birth will be like, and I think we've been taught to assume it'll be horrible. I gave birth to my son at home, no meds at all, and after 36 hours he kinda fell out, almost on the toilet actually!!! Lol. It was painful, I guess, but here's some tips:
Sit. On. The. Toilet.
It really helped me relax!! It sounds hilarious but it made me feel more comfortable. I also got in a warm bath. That helped too.
Do you have a good team of support people that will be available should you need someone? They don't have to be in the room, but should you decide you'd like a friend there it may be good to set that up.
Ooo, also, laughing really relaxes you too, and it sounds nuts, but I watched stand up comedy routines, (lots of them:), when I was waiting for the pushing phase to start. That was great.
Have you taken a birthing class?? If you're the kind of person who likes having information, it may help to know what's happening and when and why.
You can always have medication, if you need it, but not everyone does, and most people say that when they saw the baby it all disappeared!! Totally true. I stayed up all night after 36 hour labor and just stared at my sons face and fingers and toes. You are the baby's protector, world, loving mama.. Baby only needs you, so be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to fall in love and learn to breastfeed, etc. you both deserve it:)

Good luck!!!!!

Amanda - posted on 05/04/2012

well im not going to candy coat it for you but it does hurt. I would definetly get an epidural it helped me lots. Hot shower helped. Deep Breathing- really focus on your breathing it really does help. For me labor hurt more than actual delivery. And lemme tell you im a huge baby when it comes to pain lol so if i can do it anyone can. When it came time to push it actual was a huge relief it didnt hurt as bad. Also have a really good labor coach it makes a world of difference. i pushed for 3 hours lol it felt like 10 minutes. when she actually came i was just like holy crap i did it lol thats it? actual birth wasnt as bad as i thought it was gunna be. but my mom,sis and friend said it didnt look pretty lol it looked worse than what it felt. and the good thing is that after you dont really remember the pain. Youd be surprised as to what you can handle. it truely is an amazing experience.

Angela - posted on 05/03/2012

i was 18 by 3 days, i got set off. in the morning b4 they set me off i sat in the bathroom after showering scared to tears, then i realised, it doesn't matter if i am scared, i'm going to have to do it anyway!! so get the pain relief as soon as you can't take the pain no more, and enjoy! the breaks from the contractions and the pain relief make it so much easier. i personally prefer labour pain to head (ear, teeth and head ache) pain any day. you'll be fine. and enjoy your freedom now...stress isn't good for you guys. :o)

Sharon - posted on 04/18/2012

Just get the epidural. ;) Risks are minimal. Birth itself can have complications. Just relax and do what you want regarding medicines. The choice is yours.

Jess - posted on 04/17/2012

i know the feeling im 16 and 25 weeks pregnant and its my first child, im also worrying about the pain but am so excited at the same time, i've had people tell me that its very painful and ive had people tell me that they didnt find it as bad as people explained it, everyones birth is different might not even be painful for you, no need to worry about it just need to relax and wait for the little one to arrive when he/she is ready to arrive :)

Cindy - posted on 04/15/2012

I would tell you that the best advice you can receive is that every pregnancy and birth is different. The best way you can be prepared for birthing is to be physically fit. Practice the Kegel Exercises, a pelvic floor exercise, more commonly called a Kegel exercise (named after Dr. Arnold Kegel), consists of repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor, now sometimes colloquially referred to as the "Kegel muscles". Several tools exist to help with these exercises, though many are ineffective.[1][2] Exercises are usually done to reduce urinary incontinence,[3] aid with childbirth in women.

I would NOT recommend the epidural, just because there are many people who have back problems after receiving one. Just my opinion there. :)

I also know how hard it is to relax and not worry, but try your hardest as your baby feels all the stress you feel.

As for the experience, I personally had someone sitting next to me telling me that she was in labor for 32 hours and to just brace myself. I had her removed from the room because she was stressing me out. Feel free to have anyone removed from the room who may upset you. This is YOUR time. I also only had about 3 hours of labor and only pushed about 6 times for my first child. Don't be afraid of other people's stories. (It was my own mother I kicked out, btw.) Your story WILL be different from their's! :D

I hope something in here was helpful to someone out there. I hope your labor and delivery are easy, too.

Nora Amala - posted on 04/12/2012

Hi Emmily,



Childbirth is different for everyone. And yes. Very often it IS painful. And it is something no one can imagine bevore experiencing. Its huge, its animal-like, it feels like you can´t do it and yet you can. See, we are all afraid before childbirth. Everyone.



It is not like it is shown in TV.



Your body will help you to bear this child - this is how your body is created. And the more you can relax and let go the easier it will go. Your body needs all your power to open up and do the work. Make sure (if you can) that you have good support during the birth - this is a great relief for you. So you might consider of getting a doula.

And move through birth - dont lie on your back if possible. I can say I tried it out. I knew that birth is better when sitting or standing or moving and I tried laying down and I really can tell you the labor is much harder then. And that is what every midwife and doula learns, too. Its proven :)



And yes, you need to prepare to the fact that it is painful. But you know - sometimes it is not. I didn have a painful childbirth. And so many others not. One possibility there is hypnobirthing / or hypnobaby-courses - although its a little late now. The thing is, you need at some point say: Okay, I will make it. I can do this. Even if it will hurt. And be open to what comes.



Fear and tension increase immediatly the pain.



You know, childbirth is nothing that is happening to someone. Its active and that makes a diffrence. It is not at all like being ill or having an injury - not at all.



you can do this!

Nora Amala B.

Nikki - posted on 04/07/2012

I am 20 years old and I had my daughter 4 months ago. Childbirth is hard but you can do it I had a natural birth with no pain meds. I was in labor for 4 days however, I did not feel as if it was as bad as some people make it out to be. I believe if you trust God and rely on him to get you through it he will. I remember how he said he will never give us more than we can take.

Lisa - posted on 04/05/2012

for some ppl it is i have one boy and my labour was beautiful not scary at all and no where near as bad as ppl had said. deep breath and u will be fine thats what the midwifes r there for to help u do u have some one for support going in with u?

Lara - posted on 03/02/2012

it is painfull but please remember to listen to your mdwife during delivery - this will help reduce the risk of you tearing and needing a lot of stitches and try not to panic . have u been to any birthing classes

Traci - posted on 01/14/2012

ive had 3 kids naturally with no meds! it does hurt a bit but its all worth it! good luck!

Angel - posted on 01/10/2012

i understand about be scaried giving birth.well it depends on if you can stand pain or if you dont like pain. i well i can tell you that i didnt scrame like most mothers do. i was okay with the labor and delivery but it took awhile to come out. im 4`9`` and i was 16 years old and he was 9.8 pounds and 22 inches long. the scary part after the labor and delivery was that could i be a mom. and now im pregnant again and im 19 years old im scaried but i know what to do now.

Jennifer - posted on 11/05/2011

I'm 21 and I've had two babies 100% natural, not a drop of pain killers with either, but I think it really depends on how long your hard labour lasts. It also has a lot to do with your mindset when I had my first I was freaking out and panicing; it made the labour that much worse but with my second I was uber calm, my daughter was crowning and the nurse didn't even beleive I was in labour! My best recommendation is to try and stay calm and if you're overwhelmed with the pain go for the drugs, there's no shame in it! :)

Jade - posted on 11/04/2011

okay, the bad news is if you are scared it is probably going to hurt- fear in childbirth produces tension which is why many woman feel pain(Google fear tension pain or Grantley Dick-Read to find out more). however, When you understand the birth process and eliminate fear, birth is not painful. (I know- i experienced a totally pain free birth with my first child) More bad news- drug block natural hormones that eliminate pain, and stop your body from birthing naturally - that s why as soon as woman receive pain relief, force and c section rates sky rocket. Weather or not you want a drug free birth, if you want to experience a pain free birth Id recommend enrolling in a Lamaze, hypnobirthing or similar birth education class in addition to any offered at the hospital. I realise money may be an issue being young and with a bub on the way but i ganantee it will be the best money you ever spent! Here's why

Samantha - posted on 10/29/2011

What people aren't saying is that the 'worth it' part isn't until after you've seen the baby and after the pain is gone, I've had 2 kids, my first labour was 7.5 hours I first noticed the show, which for me was bloody mucus stuff ( tmi I know, sorry. Best to be prepared) I was 18 and terrified! But going into hospital I was 3 cm dilated, they actually put fingers in there to feel, ( I'm giving u details because I wish I had them before I went into labour) the contractions were a tightening feeling and my tummy felt hard wen I touched it. The midwives were great at hospital giving me options on pain relief without meds like a hot shower definately recommend the hot shower over ur back, then they just got really bad and the shower wasn't enough (btw there's no dignity in childbirth) so I got the gas, tastes horrible! But if does 3 things, gets u to breathe deeply and properly, kinda takes ur mind off it by concentrate g on ur breathing and gets rid of the worst of the pain. They also gave me the pethadine which I wouldn't have got if I knew the side effects. Which are trouble with baby breathing and feeding if given wen birth is expected within 6 hours. My waters hadn't broken yet..... So at 10:59 my waters broke.... More like sprayed everywhere which felt like a balloon popping in my hoohaa and this is when the pain was "killing" me 19 mins later he was in my arms, there's no describing the pain, it is worse than can be imagined BUT that's only gill the heads out, then u get a minute break then it's the rest of the body then ur done! Sort of..... Then they'll give u a needle to get the placenta out faster (unless u wanna wait for up to 2 hours to give birth again!) so you basically give birth again, but it's not as painful in comparison more uncomfortable to painful.... Then they'll check u out downstairs to make sure u don't need stitches ( chances are u will) which hurt more than birth!!! then you'll finally be given time with ur baby, but my advise is different.... Tell them and be sure of what u want! After baby's born if there put on ur chest they will instinctively Try n find the boob which I found out with my second baby girl, request that once she's born u want that experience it's amazing and you'll never get it again, try the shower, the gas, but mostly trust ur body and ur instincts were built for this. I know how much my kids nearly killed me (that's hoe it felt) but I still want more kids! Lol

Amanda - posted on 08/08/2011

Natalie Martyn- Why would you even post something negative about teen moms on a teen mom thread. You honestly have nothing better to do at 8 am on monday? thats pretty sad. Get over yourself

Natalie - posted on 08/08/2011

What's with all these girls giving birth at 15, 16, 17. Good grief.

Janelle - posted on 08/03/2011

i would reccomend a birthing class. they are usually offered by the local hospital. they will show you how to breathe, and some of the things to expect during birth. it really helped when my daughter was born.

Aimee - posted on 02/01/2010

i agree with a comment further down. try and pass on the pain killers as long as possible. but i dont know how good you are with dealing with pain. trust me though, i hate being in pain and normally cant handle it but i did it for 18 hours and was made to have an epidural so you may handle it better than you think. its good because every one will comment on how well you did and you will feel so much better. :)

Anna - posted on 01/31/2010

its okay to be scared its normal but some people in movies make it seem more difficult or scarier than what it is...but i had two kids a girl and a boy and i went natural with both of them with no pain medication...but with my girl my labor lasted about 5 1/2 hours and it took me less than 5 minutes to push shes was 6 lbs 10 oz and my boy i was in labor for about over 11 hours because my water broke before i had contractions and they had to induce my labor and he was a little tougher to push out...but to me contractions feel like bad period cramps mixed with constipation and bad gas cramps all mixed together and like you have to hold your doodoo in but when i pushed out their heads i didnt feel no pain i was soo focused on them getting out but many mothers experience birth differently im not sayin that its the same but its not the worsest thing in the world but goodluck and try not to worry too much maybe taking birth or parenting class might help you not be too worried goodluck

Sunny - posted on 01/31/2010

hi emmily, ill tell u what a girlfriend told me, dont think about it dont plan it and trust that ur body will know what to do, because it does. my son's birth was no where near as bad as i had imaged it would be and it was drug free in only 2 hours and when its over as long as you have a healthy baby none of the pain will matter, and you really do forget it straight away. Good luck.

Carly - posted on 01/31/2010

hey :) i had my baby when i was 18. for the most part of the labour, it is the most painful thing you will ever go through in your life, it feels like you are dying. BUT... when the baby is coming out, THAT is the best feeling you will ever feel in your entire life, and you forget all the pain for that second. dont be afriad, remember our bodies are made for this. :)

Demecka - posted on 01/31/2010

hey it is painfull but in the first contration i had the epi dural i have a 7 week year old and i have just turned 18 u dont feel a thing once u have the epi dural u are all num and it takes the pain away

Tuia - posted on 01/30/2010

Everyone has a different pain thresh hold & everyones labour is different. But yep it hurts like crazy but afterwards you don't really remember then pain you go through. I went through a 16 hour labour with NO pain medication and it ended with an emergency c-section, so my advice, prepare for anything to happen. Good luck, hope all goes well. :)

Maddi - posted on 01/30/2010

My first labor was 3hrs long, slightly 'irritating' pain i would call it for myself, i had no painkillers or gas after she was born the pain dissapered for a day, then when i did feel uncomfortable the nurse's gave me hot packs and panadol to help as my uterus contracted back to its size before i had my daughter. Good luck!

Kristina - posted on 01/30/2010

yea its painful but you can get through it...i went 3 days of labor without and epidural just pain meds and i was ok....i had an epidural an hour before they decided to do an emergency c-section and i only got the epidural because they started me on meds to help try to get it to go quicker and it made the labor so much worse....but after all the hell i went through seein my son for the first time made it all worth it and still does...

Kristina - posted on 01/30/2010

i had my baby at 17 i had no epidural or anything it was all natural i was in laobr for 10 hours and 28 minutes.im not gonna lie it was very painful for me but its all worth it.if you cant handle pain well get the epidural.when you are pushing the head out you will feel a stinging sensation.but you can do it dnt be scared you will have your child in your arms and thats all that matters.

Belinda - posted on 01/30/2010

i waited for about 3 hrs till i had the needle in my leg (sorry forget what its called) and the gas, it is painful but i truly dont remember much of the pain... just feels like really bad period cramps... the way i see it is all mothers should tell first time expectant mothers that its gunna hurt like hell so that when u get there it will be better than u expected( like with movies i guess lol) its doing you a favour :D after about 9 hrs i think, i had to have an epidural because my son was stuck and the epidural was meant to help with pushing him out and my pain, if u get an epidural it just feels like pressure on your stomach that is all, i slept for about 3 hrs of my labour after about 13 hrs of working lol thats how good the epidural is then the midwife woke me up to start working again lol but yes it does hurt but as soon as u see your baby its all over and u dont remember anything apart from the love you feel when u see your baby :D

Ashlee - posted on 01/29/2010

i'm 18 i had my first baby girl 8 weeks ago and labor was easy! just get the epidural for sure! and it doesnt hurt either the numbing before hurts a bit though! good luck!

Laura - posted on 01/29/2010

i was also terrified when i was pregnant. i did pregnancy yoga and thanks to that and all the relaxation techniques i had a totally natural 6 hour labour, and gave birth in the water. it does hurt, but its not scary at the time, u just have to focus one contraction at a time and do your best to relax. and a good support team is everything!! good luck girl xx :) you'll do great

Tiffany - posted on 01/29/2010

it's so natural to feel scared. sadly giving birth really does hurt. getting the epidural is a good idea if you don't have a high pain tolerency. i took it about 4 and a half hours before my son was born and i thought it was the best thing in the world

Jennifer - posted on 01/29/2010

labor isnt that bad. depends on how much pain u can take. i made it to 8cm on my own and then couldnt take the pain anymore and got an epidural, after that its so easy. i definetly reccomend using the mirror so u can see what it is that youre doing. if you dont then you cant see ur progress and since u cant feel anything it helps alot to be able to see it. i would have to say that the recovery is worse than the actual labor. i guess its cus the fact that you bleed afterwards for 4-6 weeks really bothered me. and if u do happen to be "cut" make sure you really use the ice packs like they tell u to do because it helps alot. the iv was the worst part for me. i hate needles so that really sucked. the epidural when they stick in the needle i didnt feel it and it relieves the pain immediately. so its really nice. good luck! just remember that it wont go on forever and that when its over you will have your beautiful baby!!

Aimee - posted on 01/29/2010

epidurals dont do anyt damage to your baby. i just had my first baby 3 weeks ago. it hurts, i wont lie to you, but there are many things available for pain relief. i didnt use any but the epidural, which i only had because i was told i had to have one in the very end.



the first contractions are bearable but once it gets towards the end they get extremely painful. you may be one of the lucky ones and have a quick labor.



i wish you luck with it. trust me, when you're in labor you will think to yourself "why the fuck do women come back?" but once you've had your baby you will know why. i thought that and when he came out i said i could do it again.

Toni - posted on 01/28/2010

hey im toni i fel preg at 15 had my baby at 16 nw im 17 nd in away its wat state of mind ur in if u keep keep clam and take all painkillers they give u even gas it helps with it but it also derpens hw long labour is too

Kylie - posted on 01/28/2010

hey emmily. i was 19 when i had my first child, completely drug free and have had 2 more births since completely drug free. the best way i found was to count the number of breaths you get with each contraction, which makes you relax which makes you dilate quicker. i saw the epidural needle and no way was i having that!! and i was lucky to have very quick births by staying active (shower, walking and bath) a local girl here had an epidural that paralysed her temporarily and she was flown to an interstate hospital which put me right off. just stay informed and remember it's YOUR birth experience, noone else's. i wish you all the best and look forward to hearing how you went

Rhonda - posted on 01/28/2010

I was 16 when I had my first child. I was scred too...but it is over so fast you will wonder...okay what was I scared of....today I am the mother of 2 kids and childbirth for me was hard but, it was and always will be an expeiecne you will cherish your whole life...especially when you hear you baby cry for the first time and you realize...I made that....and its mine...(I cried right there in the operating room...(I had c-sections with both)......you will never experience anything like it in the world.....embrace it, dont be scared.....

Stephanie - posted on 01/28/2010

my daughter came out with her fist next to her face also

Anna - posted on 01/28/2010

I was 19 when I got pregnant and I turned 20 when I was 7 months pregnant. So I was 20 when I delivered. I had a lil baby girl Dec. 19th so she's 6 weeks old. I was also terrified of labor because I heard so many horror stories. I was in early labor for 2 days, in which the contractions were pretty uncomfortable. The only thing that really helped was rocking back and forth. Active labor was about the same... That was 13 hrs but I did this all without any medication. When I finally delivered, my daughter came out with her fist next to her cheek so I pushed her arm and head out together. And I can honestly say it wasn't bad at all. I smiled through that whole 2 1/2 hrs of pushing and the midwife thought i was crazy. I hadn't slept in 3 days so I was so happy to know I was close to the finish that nothing else mattered but holding my baby. And now I can't even remember what it felt like. You'll be fine just don't go into it thinking it's going to be the end of the world. :)

Maureen - posted on 01/28/2010

i had my daughter when i was 18. i guess birth is painful. but i was so surprised when it didnt hurt as bad as i thought. do u walk alot????? that is so important, pppl say it makes the baby come sooner, but no it makes delivery SOOOOOOO much easier. i would reccomend the epidural tho.lol

Connie - posted on 01/28/2010

Hey, I'm 19 and I had my first child a few months ago. She's four months old now. I'm sure labor is different for everyone but my experience was that yeah, it's painful but it's honestly nothing to be scared of. It was really not as bad as people say, but I definitely recommend getting the epidural. After it's over you really don't realize that it even hurt. It's completely normal to be scared, I was terrified but after it was over I realized it was no where near as bad as i was scared it would be, and i'd do it again too. so don't be too scared! It'll all be fine!

Jessica - posted on 01/28/2010

It does hurt and some birth experences are worst then others I was lucky when I had my son becuase it was easy I only got an IV pain meds and they worked perfect for me... The thing that helped me was reading a book about giving birth in explained everything from the the start of labor to the finish the worst part for me was after when they have to press on your belly to make sure the blood clots come out. I was afraid becuase my mom always told me that I would die giving birth becuase I have seizers as a kid. Well Every women's body is different and I am sure you will do fine. JUST HAVE YOUR MIND SET ON WHAT IT IS ALL FOR AND THAT IS YOUR BABY!!!