Sex during pregnacy

Michelle - posted on 10/19/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I am about 36 weeks pregnant...I am due in December and I can not wait. I'm always tired even though i don't work anymore. I am always in pain from the horrible back aches i have to endure. My boyfriend and I spend four days out of the week together and i absolutely love it but sometimes I feel as if all he wants to do is have sex. I use to be very sexually active but now I just want to lay down with him and hug him sometimes not even that. It seems like I'm always pushing him off me. When I deny him sex he just seems to get really frustrated with me. I feel bad cause he works all day and when he comes home thats what he wants to do but I don't. Is something wrong with me. Should i just force myself to want to have sex. Or should he be a little more understanding about my situation.

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Paige - posted on 10/24/2010

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i kno exactly how yu feel; im 36 weeks and have been with my new boyfriend for a month or so and i have no sex drive and it makes him so mad; yur boyfriend should be more understanding let him be pregnant and see how uncomfortable it is;dont beat yurself up over it sex isnt that importnant

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Cassandra - posted on 10/24/2010

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i have a week and half left and i have not wanted sex for the last 2 months or so because of pains and aches and my partner get's a bit offended but relises i dont feel all that attractive and i dont have a very high sex drive atm lol so he isnt that bad im sure you and your man will be fine he just has to understand being pregnant comes with bagage sometimes like not wanting sex and being moody and what not.

Jules - posted on 10/24/2010

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There is nothing wrong with you it is just your hormones. I am 25 weeks along and even though my fiancee might be romantic with candles, music, masaages i don't always feel like it. I do feel bad sometimes because he works long hrs but don't let him pressure you. Just explain to him how you feel and why you don't want sex and let him know that is it not him but your hormones. Even when you have your baby your doctor will say not to have sex for a certain amount of weeks. Just talk to him and explain everything, i am sure he will understand eventually even if you have to repeat yourself a few times.

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2010

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Just talk to him. go on the internet SHOW him why you might not be feeling up to it. like everyone else is saying. you're gonna have to wait to have sex after the baby is born 6 weeks the doc will tell you. (although my daughter is 2 1/2 weeks old and me and my husband gave in lol ) but then again it's my second baby... anyways. just tell him. or try just satisfying him (you know wat I mean?)

Carmina - posted on 10/23/2010

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my partner was always trying and i was always turning him down, sex hurt for me and i didnt enjoy it AT ALL, it was a bad feeling! i felt awful to him so maybe once a week IF that id give in and let him release haha. its such a long time for them to go without and i could tell my partner started to think i lost all interest in him (which was not the case, it was just uncomfortable and i was too buggered!) but in saying that he shouldnt make u feel bad if he knew what u were goin thru he'd be doin the same thing!! best of luck your due so soon its very exciting :)

Alicia - posted on 10/21/2010

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hi i am not a teen mom but i had my kids young - 21 and 22 yrs old :) im alicia btw. im 24

I think that your bf needs to stop pressuring you to have sex, especially if u are not in the mood to do anything at all, ya know? it hurts alot to have sex once u get to be about 7 1/2 months or so and with the pelvic pressure it hurts even worse or feels like ur gonna pee urself if u have sex past 35 wks. without going into that detail u can explain u feel like u are gonna pop if u have sex, but that u have same strong feelings for him as before u just arent in the mood. and u can have sex 3 1/2 - 4 wks after u give birth but if this is your 1st baby, it may hurt a good bit the 1st 2 or 3x u do anything, i know it did after our son was born. get on a good birth control. if u want something immediate that u know will be in effect by a month - 6 wks after then go on a birth control pill. if u can wait out the full 6 wks, look into Mirena IUD or Paragard iud- copper. depo shot i wouldn't get; it makes u gain alot of weight. i gained 15 - 20 lbs on it in 6 months.

hugs! good luck to u guys though and happy delivery!

April - posted on 10/21/2010

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You not wanting sex is a hormonal thing and therefore is a medical condition and if he doesn't get that, then maybe you should talk to him about other options. like toys for him, etc.

Puja - posted on 10/21/2010

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The same thing happened to me.. its because your sore and in pain and it just doesnt feel good to have sex when all this stuff is going on. Plus your baby is so low. I totally understand and i remeber how it was for me. It truly sucks, but he should understand that your not up for it. i know my hubby didnt understand at first but after the 10th time of me crying and saying that im sore and that i just wanna chill its not always about sex. he got the point and stoped being like that. He should get used to it because when the baby comes, for 6 months your not aloud to have sex and even after that its hard to have sex. My sons 2 months and 1 weeks old and well im just not up for it, i dont get that much sleep plus i work. your normal so dont worry. just let him know how you feel.

Autumn - posted on 10/20/2010

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He needs to be understanding of you! Just because he works all day and so on doesnt mean you owe him sex. You need to let him know how tired and actually painful it can be having sex while your so far along. It can induce labor and though that may sound good to you, your baby may not be ready and it takes alot more strength and energy to have sex while pregnant which wears you out even more, and you need all the rest you can get to take care of baby when it arrives. He needs to understand that. Good Luck!

Michelle - posted on 10/20/2010

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Thank you guys for your support and thank you Amanda for the tips. I have to try something cause i'm afraid this whole thing just might make us more and more frustrated with each other. His a great boyfriend and does anything i ask him to its just his needs are something that i can only handle sometimes.

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2010

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I know what your going through I was the same way and sometimes you have to take thier feelings into consideration too and maybe work something out? Maybe if you had a certian mood about the room like candles and just intead of jumping into the sack just take it easy and have him massage your feet and your whole body then you could have meaningfull sex?! ya know?! haha I hope it helps I know what you are going throught I tried this and it worked for me! :)

Laura - posted on 10/19/2010

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dont let him make you feel bad! every pregnancy is different, and every person is different. just because some women get more sexually active doesn't mean your "supposed to" or that you have to. . . plus once you do have the baby, he is going to have to deal with it cause u wont be able to have sex for at least a month!

Michelle - posted on 10/19/2010

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thank you guys for your support... i just heard that you were supposed to get more sexually active in there last couple of months of pregnancy.... and he says most of his friends say that so he is starting to think i don't feel the same about him anymore and it really makes me feel bad

Christa - posted on 10/19/2010

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Nothing is wrong with you. Its all those hormones, it can cause your libido to go way down..but it will come back I promise. Try talking to him and explaining how achy you feel. He may not like it but Im pretty sure he will understand. Don't get down on yourself or let him put you down for feeling how you feel. Hope everything works out!
Christa

Denikka - posted on 10/19/2010

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He should definitely be more understanding. Seriously, he's a big boy, he can go rub one out if he's that desperate. You're preparing to bring a child into the world, you're creating LIFE. It's a draining process.
If you're not feeling up to it, that's ok. Especially if you were very sexual before you got pregnant, it's almost definitely hormonal. What's he going to do when it's medically advised that you can't have sex for x amount of weeks after you give birth??
Seriously, he needs to suck it up and vent his own sexual frustrations. Right now he needs to be be there for YOU and the new baby.

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