should i be offended?

Samantha - posted on 05/12/2011 ( 103 moms have responded )

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Today i was searching in different areas of the website when i came across "debating moms". It was talking about how teen pregnancy is an "epidemic". Now i dont know about you, but me and my son are not a disease. People where asking questions in there and im gonna ask you one they asked.



If you could redue your life would you?



No I Wouldnt. You know why, because i am proud to be a teen mom who stood up and took care of her son, whom brought my family back together. I am proud of being a mom and a teenage mother and i will not be referred to as a "epidemic".



Bite me if you dont like like the fact that im proud of it, or if you find it strange. I knew from an early age i wasnt going to achieve much so is it so wrong i achieved something that i never thought i would, being a mom?

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[deleted account]

I wrote that post and i found nothing wrong with the comments at all. I dont even think i said the word 'epidemic' but i dont know why that word would make you feel like a disease.



i got pregnant at 19 and i am a prefect mom to my daughter no doubt about it and i never regret having her at all but that doesnt mean im gonna go around being proud of teen pregnancy making it seem like its so wonderful



For those who think maturity doesnt come with age are probably still young. It does, dont get me wrong are there some cases where a young person is mature for their age and an old person immature for their age?? yes but with age comes wisdom and more knowledge and with that comes maturity.



I didnt even close the conversation so if you wanna open it back up go ahead i think there was a lot of good points. I think its so dumb when i go to the teen/young mothers group and all of the time i see posts like oh i was so offended or omg why do they think teen moms are bad. . . im not arguing that you do not love your son and would do anything for him thats not the case. But if you are still livng at your mom's house have no means to get out and are still in high school with no plans to get a job and your parents are the one supporting you and your baby then that right there is the problem and what is wrong with teen pregnancy.( just saying you in genera since obviously i dont know anything about your situationl)



So your proud because you thought nothing of yourself, thought you were never gonna be anything, got pregnant as a teenager and now your a mom and never thought you would be one??? Idk if its just me but that sounds weird.



Anyways Its an epidemic because it is on the rise again. The numbers were going down but now it is going back up. It is a problem and i definitely wouldnt want my daughter to get knocked up at 13, 14, - 18 or anything like that. i want my daughter to believe in herself and know that she more than just a female that can get knocked up. She can get an education work be independent get her own do anything she wants! And if she doesnt just wants to be mother then thats fine!! But once she has her finances in order and can do it on her own then she can do it the right way. Why are you gonna bring a child into the world when you cant even support yourself! Think about it.



I really dont want to raise my daughter in a generation that thinks teen pregnany is normal and thinks its ok. Its not.

Jaime - posted on 05/20/2011

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"I knew from an early age i wasnt going to achieve much"...a few things wrong with that statement;



Knowing from a young age that you're not going to achieve much in life...how is that even possible. Unless I'm missing something, there's not a single person on this planet that can accurately predict what will happen tomorrow. So making a bold statement to the effect of 'Well I knew I wouldn't be successful so I just decided to become a mom instead'...bit of an insult for moms no? Implying that because one lacks the academic drive and determination of the social ideal, all that is left is to breed and hope for the best! That, my friend, is how the vicious cycle begins. Teenagers should want to be teenagers, not mothers. And if it happens that they become mothers/parents then so be it. But it's certainly not something to strive for and boast proudly about the fact that YOU have given up hope for your future so you just grabbed what was convenient to you. Parenthood, you will all agree, is the single most important endeavour in one's life. Be proud that you are a good mother, be proud that you have taken responsibility for things and people in your life, but also be conscious of the fact that if you think that having a child is the sole defining point in your life...you're not creating or imparting much hope or ambition in the children you're so proud to have.

[deleted account]

Don't you just love those little pops ups redirecting you to different communities?

I'm a Debating Mums moderator. The thread in question was locked due to being an old thread. Members come and go so starting an argument challenging the opinions of no longer active members is a waste of everyones time. Also the length of the thread means no one new is actually going to read through 20+ pages of responses, if they only read through the first couple of pages they get a distorted view. If everyone agreed the debate would be over and not go on for 20+ pages.

I have nothing against teenage mothers. I come from a long line of them, though not one myself. So I shall now bow out of here gracefully.

One final thing...
"LOL. You know, i've noticed a lot of people getting offended by the debating mums community."
If you can't stand the heat...

Krista - posted on 05/20/2011

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First off: Not EVERY teen mother is like you. Many have children without knowledge of the consequences. They think it's going to be easy to give up their young adult lives to take care of a baby. Many screw their kids up for life. I'm sure had you read that thread completely, you would have seen that people weren't talking about ALL moms, but indeed the vast majority of them have ruined their lives.
Perhaps, instead of taking things out of context, you should have read the thread in it's entirety and THEN commented. doing anything other than that shows your age.

[deleted account]

Oh yea and that old tired out argument that teen pregnancy has been around for decades doesnt hold up. Yea back then people were getting pregnant really young because well they didnt live as long as they do now!! Also they needed to have kids to help them tend to the farms and such or just to work so that they could make more money. Its not the same anymore we should know better and we should do better. Teen pregnancy isnt accepted because for one reason their is just no need for it and because we expect more from our future generations.

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Miriam - posted on 05/23/2011

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Im 33 and Im a school counselor so I just think its interesting to read and see what teen girls are thinking. :+)

April - posted on 05/22/2011

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Same here Maria, I'm 22 now but had my first baby when i was 19. Exactly the reason why i joined too. :)

[deleted account]

Ugh i dont know why my edit button isnt working im sorry i meant " Maybe i like to see what others are saying and see the mentality that teen/young mothers have**"

[deleted account]

Oh and i think some people get confused as to why there are older moms on this group. Well im 21 so im not that much older but i got pregnant when i was 19 so i felt like this group applied to me. That has nothing to do with me liking teen pregnancy or anything like. Maybe I just like to see what others are saying and see the mentality teen/young mothers train and then also voice my opinions. As I'm sure some of the "older" moms like to do as well. There's no age limit per say anyone can be in the group really. . . .

April - posted on 05/20/2011

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Wow, i just left COM for a few days and i didn't realize how big this thread had gotten.

BTW Cathy, i said what i said because i found it funny everyone was getting offended about the debating mums community. That community is for us to share our opinions on certain subjects. Sure some may be offended but that's also your chance to give your opinion.

I think the debating mums community is great. A way to talk to other mums about different issues. :)

Sorry just had to clear that up incase i was misunderstood in my previous post.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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I don't see anyone doing any bashing of anyone except you, Jami. Your posts are full of rude personal attacks. Evidenced by the number that have been deleted for that very reason.

Jami - posted on 05/20/2011

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Maria, threatening me is getting you nowhere. And if saying that whatever hateful thing you are thinking would get you kicked off of circle of moms for posting, towards me makes you feel hot-then get bothered. I contributed to the post, then was attacked, and not just on the thread-with inbox posts, and whatnot so lets just chill out with whatever it is you think you are doing by demeaning me. I defended myself, and another few individuals who were also attacked, and all you can say is for ME to post something useful? Sorry that someone telling me the country I reside in is not a country, and people are making idiots of themselves. I was defending someone and if you think I've failed, you are in denial. I'm no failure. Your hateful words do not affect me like you think they do because I am not a teen mom and I am not immature OR insecure. Picking on what you think is an insecurity is all fun and games, but it doesn't work when you are totally and completely wrong in your assumptions. And Cathy-amen. That's more than one of my points, ( even with my own posts, people have not gone back and read them, and only attack/respond to the things posted on the most recent few pages, so it is very distorted ) I love debating, but when a debate turns into personal attacks, threats and things start coming into my inbox, I have to draw a line. This is my line.
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Anyone else who wants to join in and bash people, go right ahead, I am removing this topic from my updates and refuse to justify anything else from the ignorant people with a response. Anyone needing encouragement or in a sticky situation, feel free to inbox me-I have nothing else to contribute to this post because it has strayed so far from what was intended by the original poster. The End. And trust that no more responses will be coming to me, so it's pointless for anyone to concoct some sort of witty come-back. That isn't what this post was about, and I'm ending all issues anyone replying here has with me. ... Out.

Angela - posted on 05/20/2011

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and I also wonder, this is a community for young mothers/ teen moms, so why are you that are so against it in this community in the first place?

Angela - posted on 05/20/2011

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I think that most of these posts are really immature, correcting spelling and punctuation, comparing, sounds like you are all just running your mouths at this point, old or young. Instead of devoting all your time to this endless argument, I think that maybe you all should let it go...and go do what your fighting about in the first place, be good moms.

[deleted account]

I wasnt bragging i mean if you feel that is bragging then thats on you. I dont need to brag cuz i know what ive achieved. Hmmm that is so stupid huh?? hahaha ok well im gonna stop before i get kicked off of circle of moms. I dont know what "rise" you are talking about i was simply just saying that what you wrote was pointless that is all. And no i dont know how attacking an individual or group feels If that was the point you were trying to make then you failed. Lets see teen pregnancy and grammatical errors. . . . lol foolishness. im not gonna say anymore but if your not gonna write anything that will contribute to the thread of teen pregnancy then dont write anything at all itll just be a waste of time to read.

Jami - posted on 05/20/2011

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Lord have mercy. You guys are going to keep on going and going and going. Obviously, I've explained what that post was about -the grammatically correct one. If you can't read ALL of what i've said, then don't argue with me. I used that as an example of picking something so stupid and petty apart, and demeaning people. and since I got a rise out of so many people over it, I know my job, here, is done. you all see how attacking an an individual or group of people feels. Now leave it at that. Ps, I have a bachelor of science and majored in visual communications and computer programming, so lets leave all the bragging where it belongs-on a plaque on the wall behind you. That is so stupid.

Jami - posted on 05/20/2011

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I am still not quite understanding why you, jodi, feel the need to put words in my mouth. I have made several statements directly opposite of what you are claiming, and I'm still trying to decipher what code you are going by to pull these assumptions from your bum. I am not a teen mom. I was a pregnant teen, but was an adult when I gave birth, and that has been a while ago. I had already taken care of myself before I had my son, was married, had a job, and lived on my own. So there's a view. Now take it or leave it, because you are really exhausting this, and me. Once again, stop posting on a website on the net, and try starting a government organization or something, your time would be invested in something more powerful than a keyboard and internet connection.

[deleted account]

"Honestly, some of you are older than me and I've seen so many grammatical issues with the postings that I can't even take what you're saying seriously. What fortune 500 company is going to hire any one of you over a younger person when you can't even SPELL? This is getting ridiculous."



That post was just ridiculous. That doesnt even have anything to do with this thread. I am very educated and i am degreed but when it comes to Circle of Moms im really not stressing over being grammatically correct. Like Miriam said we know when it matters and when it doesnt. Just thought i'd throw that out there cuz i double majored in Communications/Journalism and so i know how to write but when i am on here i am usually rushing and just trying to get my point across so excuse me if i write something incorrectly most of the time its just shortened on purpose.



Now back to the issue at hand which is teen pregnancy or would you like to point out something else that has absolutely nothing to do with that??

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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Jami, I have asked that very question 2 or 3 times in this thread. Not a single person has answered.



"Would you encourage your 15 year old to get pregnant/have a baby?" Not a single person has addressed that.



I have never attacked teens for having babies. Just suggested that they may have made some not so great choices (like teens are prone to do) but let's make the best of the choices you have made. And as I said, big difference between a 15 year old and an 18 year old who has graduated school and getting married.



Anyway, Thank you for your eloquent lecture. I was genuinely interested in seeing teenage mothers views on how this could be dealt with, because teenage pregnancy is an issue, but I see that I am mistaken because you are all quite ready to defend teen pregnancy as the ideal. Silly me. I will find other avenues to educate my daughters. The last place I can find any education is a community full of teenage mothers who obviously think teenage pregnancy is the answer to their prayers.



And just as a side note, thank you for your *cough* apology for correcting my spelling.

Jami - posted on 05/20/2011

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Jodi, thank you for explaining yourself. Now let me explain something. Because I take up for young people who made a "bad" or "wrong" decision, doesn't automatically mean I want my 15 year old daughter to get pregnant. Where you pulled that from is past me. You are making inaccurate assumptions about things that don't need to even be brought into this. All I am saying, IS THIS : Attacking teens who have children and are or are not providing for them-no MATTER the situation, is NOT making it go away! Why are all of you here debating this, anyway? Shouldn't you be spending this time TEACHING your young daughters the way to live, and teaching them responsibility and maturity? Instead of ranting on a website that is viewable by millions-and trying to put young mothers down, try finding a solution. Putting the one's who've ALREADY made the "mistake" on blast ISN'T SOLVING ANYTHING. SO, whoever it was who told ME to grow up on here, for defending someone who was being directly attacked, ( and if you want to say no one has attacked anyone here, try re-reading all of the posts-like I have since day 1 & keeping up with what people are actually saying and not just what I posted in the last 24 hours ) you have some growing to do! that goes for everybody. And read ALL of the posts from the original link-this is ALL degrading other human beings, regardless of age, and what is that accomplishing? NOTHING. So stop sitting there and reading this, trying to come up with the next witty thing to say back to me - my mind has been made up since the day I saw the original post and telling me what you think I'm wrong about isn't keeping 13 year old children's legs closed. The End. figure it out.

Jami - posted on 05/20/2011

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Miriam, what was that even about? Honestly, no. North America & South America are continents, the united states of America IS a country, not the united states. It's the USA for a reason-a group of states, united on the North American continent. this is really stupid, what are you people doing? Other than realizing you've run out of bullets, so using gun powder to shoot people ( aka POINTLESS arguments that lead nowhere and have nothing to do with the subject at HAND ) And thank you Tina, I totally agree! But the one's here who are claiming to be so above it and against it, are the one's making immature FOOLS out of themselves :P. It's a hopeless cause, teen moms are just going to have to learn to ignore ignorant people, and continue their lives-because those ignorant people on this website do not judge where they end up, the teen moms do! They need encouragement, to continue doing a good job and to go to school and make a life for themselves and their children-not to be told over and over again by selfish, poor excuses of women, that they are an epidemic and a disease in the community. They are people too! I'm just trying to defend them, where they are defenseless, and look at what these "mature" women are saying to me. HAHA. They're putting me down and I'm not even a teen mom. LOL. They just need someone to take out their horrible lives on so they don't feel so pathetic about it-and they can go right ahead, because it doesn't affect me. Who it DOES affect are the fragile minds of young mothers, and by God, telling them on a daily basis that they are worthless, and useless to society is making them JUST that! They need encouragement, period!

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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Oh, and just for the record...



Where I come from the word is *judgemental*. That IS the correct spelling. We are not all from the US where you practice barstardised English.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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Grow up Jami. You are the only person here that has made a personal attack towards anyone. I have no problem with teenage mothers, not at all. But that is fantastic that you would encourage your 15 year old daughter to have a baby.....



That is my point.



I have nothing to defend. I have never said teenage mothers are bad mothers. Not once, not ever. Because I don't believe that. But I can tell you, teenage mothers are JUST as judgemental of older mothers as anyone.



Glass houses, people. I have seen so many judgemental comments about older mothers here, that I wonder about those glass houses.



Why not work together to STOP our 15 year olds getting pregnant, and find solutions rather than defending the choice? I mean, seriously....can a SINGLE ONE OF YOU justify that it is the IDEAL to have a baby at 15? That question is not questioning any ONE of you as a parent, because I believe that the very fact that you are here means you have your child's absolute best interests at heart, which means you are great mothers. BUT, how can you possibly justify it as the perfect choice for a teen. THAT is what I don't understand.

Tina - posted on 05/20/2011

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yeah, I could understand if she had a hard time trying to have kids. But that's not the case. She's just doing it to tie her over until retirement age.

Tina - posted on 05/20/2011

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People just need to lay off of these young mums. No one is suggesting or encouraging young girls to go have a baby. But people are suggesting because they're young they can't take care of a child. I personally know of older mums who have lost their children. I also know of older mums who have children so they don't have to work. I know of one in particular who is trying to get pregnant in her 50's. So she doesn't have to work. There are people on here who are pointing the finger at these teenagers when they're not that old themselves. But consider themselves as being an adult and mature. Back when my Nanna had kids if you weren't married or were under 21 you lost your child. If you were under 21 and had a child you went into an orphanage/foster care. Regardless of whether or not you were working and capable of caring for a child. It's just assumed because a person is young they're incapable of being a good parent and supporting a child. People are just assuming that because someone is a young mum they must be on welfare or getting hand out's from parents and so on. When there are plenty of older people that have babies just so they don't have to work. Pretty well all the young mums I know work. Being older and having plenty of money doesn't necessarily make you a better mother or a better person and it certainly doesn't mean you love and care for your children more. Having very little money and education just means you sacrifice more of yourself for your children.

Miriam - posted on 05/20/2011

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Well the ones of us that are not teenage moms are by far older moms just moms that chose to get married and a degree before we became moms!! We get the job because we have masters and PHD's and we know when we need to worry about our spelling and when we dont! :+) and America is a continent United States is a country! :+)

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2011

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And THAT was THE most judgemental post of the day. Well done.



Might I suggest, given you are on a grammar and spelling warpath, that you double-check the placement of your punctuation? There's nothing like being petty about the little things (like typing errors) and then screwing up yourself, how embarrassing.



Or, hey, do you know what? Maybe those mums WERE teen mothers, and are talking from experience because they were never ABLE to finish their education as a result, and maybe they DO need to go back to school.

Jami - posted on 05/19/2011

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correction* America or any other country-as there are young mothers in other places than the US, obviously. My bad.

Jodi - posted on 05/19/2011

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I'm still trying to figure out where anyone called teenage mothers, "bad" mothers. I am pretty sure that's not what was being inferred, and I'm pretty sure it isn't the general concensus. But perhaps my reading and comprehension skills are lacking.

[deleted account]

" my best is better than a lot of people that did not get pregnant young. "



Uhhh what Adults are you surrounding yourself with?? Because i would say that is an incorrect assumption right there! You are not the norm its great that you have been a good mother and have been able to support your own child but that really isnt how it plays out. You are the minority not the majority. Judgement will never stop because teen pregnancy is not something good and is W-R-O-N-G. I dont know why young/teen mothers think its right thats absurd. At 13, 14, and in some places fifteen you cant even get a J-O-B which I would say is extremely important when you are gonna bring a child into the world. And from 13-17 ( 17 in some places) you cant even get your own Place!!



You think you are really giving your child the best when you cant even provide them with their own roof over there head??? cant even pay for simple things like pampers and wipes?? You think you are providing the best you can when you are still in school yourself and have not even lived a lot of life therefor not even having a lot of experience with different things?? Its selfish and its just a bad situation for a precious baby to be in who has no choice.



Being a teen mom doesnt make anyone a bad person but in a lot of cases doesnt make you the best mother. A lot of teen moms i think get offended because they get confused with the debate. Being a good mother doesnt just constitue you loving your child to death. Hopefully in all cases thats just automatic, but being a good mother also involves being able to solely provide for your children and also being able to take care of yourself which a lot of teens are unable to do. plain and simple.



You know I'd like to see information on how many Adults that waited to have their kids can properly provide for their children opposed to teen/ young mothers. I know a lot of teen mothers like to throw out there how anyone no matter what age can be a bad parent. So then i would like to see the numbers on how many Adults can not properly raise their kids and lose them as well as how many of those Adults were actually teen/ young mothers to begin with. . . .



Im not sure if that made sense im having a hard time correctly putting my thoughts on the computer right now! Pardon me i am feeling a bit sick but i think once you actually have that information you will see why this is an Epidemic.

Jessica - posted on 05/19/2011

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if your trying to say i'm immature because it bothers me when ppl continually pass a judgment on me that sometimes does affect me, than you are absolutely wrong. my whole point here is that i'm tired of the judgment. i do the best of my ability to do. that is all any person can do. my best is better than a lot of people that did not get pregnant young. ppl really have almost no consideration for what their judgment may do to somebody. am i offended by u or anyone with your opinion? no. does it bother me? yes at times it does. is your opinion going to alter my life? no. ppl have opinions, its their right. if you want to think i am immature because sometimes things can get to me when it comes to my ability to be a mother, then oh well. think what you want. but remember that u do not know me and u cannot correctly pass any type of judgment on me. i take care of my child, take responsibility for my actions, and don't need ppl to try to put me down because i got pregnant at 15. i'm tired of the criticism. that was my whole point. now if you knew me or anyone knew me and could honestly say i was a bad mother then i would shut my mouth. but i'm not, i did what i had to to make sure i could provide for my child. i stood up and took responsibility & encourage any young mother who hasn't yet, to follow their dreams. but never put em down! because unless you know their story then you have no right.& so what if some young mothers live with their parents? again unless you know their situation and can truthfully say something about it then its not your place! ppl have hard times, with or without a child. i'm just saying, i strongly feel the judgment needs to stop.

Miriam - posted on 05/19/2011

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Than you are the exeption not the norm. Many people get
criticized for others actions. It happens if you belong to an organization, group, race, religion, even if you are not like the rest of your group you still get critized and you do your best so people can see that you are different, but you really dont get offended because that is part of being mature. You dont care only certain things become important in your life, usually your kids, husband family and thats about the only people that you care about what they say...

Jessica - posted on 05/19/2011

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not that my situation is any of your business, but yes i do have a job, on my own two feet, going back to school, and am married to a wonderful father figure. i got pregnant at a young age and i straightened my life up! so yes, i did indeed take responsibility for my actions. now no, i don't want my daughter to think it is acceptable to get pregnant young, and i am well aware of the chance that she could because i am her role model. but i want her to know that she needs to do all the things i'm doing now before she has a family!..if she can accomplish all that i have fought for before she gets pregnant than i will be happy. but if she unfortunately goes down my road then i will deal with it. but she will know that she can still acheive her goals, because i am doing just that! being young doesn't make me a bad parent, it doesn't mean i live with my parents or don't provide for my child on my own! that is the exact type of assumption that ppl pass on me and others like me all the time! and yes for a little bit while i was pregnant i lived with my father, but i was on my own providing for myself before she was born! so no, your tax dollars do not do anything for me or my child. you don't know me or probably many of the other ppl on here, and its a judgment like yours that i am talking about.

Miriam - posted on 05/19/2011

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Jessica you say " at least we can stand up and take responsibility for our actions! " does that mean you have a job live on your own and you do not get help from your parents or the government? and your baby has a good father figure (weather you live with him or not, a good fatherly influence in his/her life). If so good for you. I think you can be as old or as young as you want as long as my tax $ are not the ones supporting you and neither are your parents :+)

Jessica - posted on 05/19/2011

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it amazes me all the time how ppl can just judge teen moms..since when does being a teen mom make u a bad mom or person in general! i am fed up with ppl judging me when they find out i was only 15 when i gave birth! SO WHAT? life goes on..i love every single minute spent with my child! and a lot of teen moms have been through and conquered more than moms in their 30's! we are not an "epidemic". we are not a disease spreading in the world..i have met numerous women that are at least 10 yrs older than me and doing far worse than me or half the teenage moms i know. getting pregnant at a young age was not planned, but i wouldnt change it even if i could! ppl need to realize that we are not wrong, we got pregnant young..big deal! at least we can stand up and take responsibility for our actions! now true there are a select few teen moms that don't take responsibility and who may be horrible mothers, but thats just a select few, not the whole bunch of us! and if you want to get real about it, how many mothers lose their kids that aren't teenage moms? so why is it that only teen moms get the bad talk? when truthfully, yes some teen moms may do things that give us bad names, but so do moms of all ages? so why are we singled out? why are we the epidemic here? it doesnt matter what age you are, that doesnt determine if ur a good mom or not! ppl need to grow up and get over it! there are far worse things happening in this world than teen pregnancy! teen moms need support, not to be singled out. but unfortunately that is what is happening here. we are being singled out for being young.there is no crime here, so why the big debate? seriously, it is getting old. like i said before, there are plenty of moms that had their kids at "the appropriate age" who have failed at being a mother all together. yet it is only the teen moms being looked at.

KALLI - posted on 05/19/2011

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I don't know if I was actually considered a teenage mom but I got preg at 19 delivered at 20 with my first child. I was young, yes. But hell no, I wouldn't change anything for the world. My son saved my life. He made me a better person. I quit doing so many things that were not healthy for me because of him and would never pick them up again. I am proud of my son and I have no shame in saying how young I was when I had him. So no, NEVER be ashamed and NEVER regret. They are our angels! :)

Angela - posted on 05/17/2011

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I was just wondering, how can you have a 13 month old and a 10 month old?

Angela - posted on 05/17/2011

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I am 23 and am going to have my 3rd child in 2 weeks. I think I'm at my prime as far as taking care of my children. I have high energy all day everyday, I have patience, I have understanding...I am a stay at home mom too, which can be testing at times, but like I said, I wouldnt want to do it ten years down the road...Id like to become established in my career at that point. It is different with each and every case. It all depends on the individual mother and her ability to stop thinking for herself and make all of her decisions based on her childrens well-being. Maturity comes to who lets go of wanting to be a "teen" and instead thinks for the little ones. Go ahead and let them all be ignorant and rant and rave about us, maybe it's simply jealousy...Or maybe they have nothing better to do with their time, for example..taking care of their kids. LOL

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I completely agree. I know that even with having a child at a young age, I can still do anything I want to. It just may take a bit longer than I had originally planned it. I want my kids to be proud of me for not giving up on my life just because I became a mother at 17.

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I will admit that sometimes I wish that I could have grown up before having my son. When I see all my friends from high school on facebook saying things like "what a great party" and "that movie was so awesome!" I get a bit jealous because I can't afford to do those things. From babysitters to actually being able to afford whatever I'm going out to do. But I would never give up either of my kids for the world! I love both of my boys with all of my heart and my husband. I chose my (first) son over my mother and I wouldn't ever even consider changing my mind.

Tiffany - posted on 05/17/2011

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girl im 19 years old and i have a 13 month olkd son and a 10 month old daughter. me and my husband have been married for 2 years in august and we are both teens and we have 2 kids. we may not be the best parents in the world but we take care of them and love them better than anyone could. we take care of our children better than some adult paretns take care of their children. so when people say stuff like that just brush it off your shoulder cuz they aren't in our position and don't know how it is.

Tiffany - posted on 05/17/2011

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girl im 19 years old and i have a 13 month olkd son and a 10 month old daughter. me and my husband have been married for 2 years in august and we are both teens and we have 2 kids. we may not be the best parents in the world but we take care of them and love them better than anyone could. we take care of our children better than some adult paretns take care of their children. so when people say stuff like that just brush it off your shoulder cuz they aren't in our position and don't know how it is.

Tiffany - posted on 05/17/2011

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girl im 19 years old and i have a 13 month olkd son and a 10 month old daughter. me and my husband have been married for 2 years in august and we are both teens and we have 2 kids. we may not be the best parents in the world but we take care of them and love them better than anyone could. we take care of our children better than some adult paretns take care of their children. so when people say stuff like that just brush it off your shoulder cuz they aren't in our position and don't know how it is.

Megan - posted on 05/17/2011

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She's talking about the legal age of consent to sex, I believe. That's how old you have to be to have sex without your partner being convicted of statutory rape. It's 18 in Canada, I'm fairly sure. Some people have said it's 16, but I don't know about that.

Jessica - posted on 05/17/2011

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I was offended by a few comments made. Don't get me wrong, I would probably have ago at my 14 year old sister if she got pregnant, but I'm 19 and personally I KNOW I'm doing a better job than alot of "older" mums. Here in the UK the legal age to have sex is 16, that's asking for teenage pregnancies in my opinion! It's basically a handful of teenage mum's are dreadful so we all are apparently. How would they like it if we judged them by people such as baby Peters mother? Rant over!

Tina - posted on 05/16/2011

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My Grand parents didn't need to have kids it just happened and wasn't planned the same for my mother I wasn't planned. My Great Grand parents had 9 kids, they started young and were living under a tiny 2 bedroom house that wasn't planned. Alot of young woman that had babies had them to much older men. Which now days is criminal. I don't think anyone is suggesting a teenager go out and get pregnant any normal person would encourage their kids to get an education and so forth. I think what most teens have been trying to point out and have been offended about is the fact people have suggested that they are bad parents. Age doesn't make someone a bad parent. We expect more from future generations yet they are surrounded by sex everyday. If anyone is a bad parent it's someone who hasn't educated their child on protected sex. Young teens have all these ideas on what safe sex is which they learn from their friends, tv and online. Which not only puts them at risk of getting pregnant but puts them at risk of getting serious diseases. I've seen posts on here about parents putting their teenages on the pill. That's not full proof and it's not educating them.

Andrea - posted on 05/16/2011

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I don't think you should be offended. Teens are still kids, with developing bodies. Some are more mature than others but to say that it is OK for everyone is not right. Not every teen who becomes a mom should be a mom that young and not every teen has a baby in a committed relationship which the baby needs anyway. I hope you don't feel offended by this. I know being a mom is an accomplishment, some women are defined by it as so am I. But I didn't want kids when I was that young and I don't regret experiencing and learning about life before I gave life to my own kids. I am looked down enough for being an older mom but that doesn't offend me.

Megan - posted on 05/16/2011

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I'm having a hard time trying to put what I want to say in the right words, but here it goes:

I think that no - we shouldn't be encouraging teen pregnancy or anything, and I don't think we, as a society in general, should be making it a sort of 'okay, whatever' type of thing. I dislike the use of the word epidemic because most people associate it with disease and it can come off as very offensive. However, despite the fact that I don't think it should be made a casual normal thing, I still think that young mothers should not be pressured to feel ashamed or 'sorry' for getting pregnant. Sometimes, life just happens - even if you protect yourself. I have a sore spot for the presumption of 'teen girls who get pregnant were being careless' because I was using my birth control properly and had been on it for a while, and I still ended up pregnant. My own doctor lectured me on not using protection and I nearly slapped her (she did this the day after I miscarried, so I was not in my right mind, or in a good place to recieve that kind of speech). I think that teen girls who do get pregnant should be offered the same support and congratulations that is offered to older moms, as well as acceptance that it is not changable at that point and dwelling on it doesn't help anyone, it just hinders the mother-to-be with guilt that I believe is unwarranted in most cases. I'm not saying there aren't bad/unprepared teen moms out there. I've seen my share of unprepared/bad moms of all ages. But I don't think it's fair that some girls are made to be ashamed of their baby and pregnancy. I do also believe though, that there is a certain point where a girl is TOO young, like 11, 12, 13, to be thinking about sex period. Never mind parenthood. Given, I lost my virginity at 15, but I am proud to say he and I are still together and plan on getting married. It may have been a horrible mistake if it as someone else, and I can recognize that, and it just makes me so much happier that he was my first, and I his. We also went through a lot in the last year too, from having to raise his little sister when his mom took off to losing our own baby just before christmas. I know that I'm still young but yes, we are trying for another baby. Maybe to anyone else, it's a mistake. But to us, it's something that we feel is right and that we both want. Now I've gone rambling... but back to my original line of thought, every story is different and no one is ever really in a place to judge another's decisions. I realize that we do not live in that kind of world, however. But I still do not think that teen pregnancy should be something to be swept under the rug. With it on the rise once more, people are talking about it more and conversations are happening with parents and teens that weren't always happening before. It's out in the open and information on the reality of ten motherhood is more available. Hopefully that may help more girls form making the wrong choices for the wrong reasons.

Miriam - posted on 05/16/2011

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Maria, I am not a teenager. I am a married woman with 3 beautiful kids and a wonderful husband we both have great careers and love and provide for our kids and I so TOTALLY and COMPLETELY agree with you!!!

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