should i be offended?

Megan - posted on 05/16/2011

I'm having a hard time trying to put what I want to say in the right words, but here it goes:

I think that no - we shouldn't be encouraging teen pregnancy or anything, and I don't think we, as a society in general, should be making it a sort of 'okay, whatever' type of thing. I dislike the use of the word epidemic because most people associate it with disease and it can come off as very offensive. However, despite the fact that I don't think it should be made a casual normal thing, I still think that young mothers should not be pressured to feel ashamed or 'sorry' for getting pregnant. Sometimes, life just happens - even if you protect yourself. I have a sore spot for the presumption of 'teen girls who get pregnant were being careless' because I was using my birth control properly and had been on it for a while, and I still ended up pregnant. My own doctor lectured me on not using protection and I nearly slapped her (she did this the day after I miscarried, so I was not in my right mind, or in a good place to recieve that kind of speech). I think that teen girls who do get pregnant should be offered the same support and congratulations that is offered to older moms, as well as acceptance that it is not changable at that point and dwelling on it doesn't help anyone, it just hinders the mother-to-be with guilt that I believe is unwarranted in most cases. I'm not saying there aren't bad/unprepared teen moms out there. I've seen my share of unprepared/bad moms of all ages. But I don't think it's fair that some girls are made to be ashamed of their baby and pregnancy. I do also believe though, that there is a certain point where a girl is TOO young, like 11, 12, 13, to be thinking about sex period. Never mind parenthood. Given, I lost my virginity at 15, but I am proud to say he and I are still together and plan on getting married. It may have been a horrible mistake if it as someone else, and I can recognize that, and it just makes me so much happier that he was my first, and I his. We also went through a lot in the last year too, from having to raise his little sister when his mom took off to losing our own baby just before christmas. I know that I'm still young but yes, we are trying for another baby. Maybe to anyone else, it's a mistake. But to us, it's something that we feel is right and that we both want. Now I've gone rambling... but back to my original line of thought, every story is different and no one is ever really in a place to judge another's decisions. I realize that we do not live in that kind of world, however. But I still do not think that teen pregnancy should be something to be swept under the rug. With it on the rise once more, people are talking about it more and conversations are happening with parents and teens that weren't always happening before. It's out in the open and information on the reality of ten motherhood is more available. Hopefully that may help more girls form making the wrong choices for the wrong reasons.

K. - posted on 05/16/2011

Well said Maria!!

Maria - posted on 05/16/2011

Oh yea and that old tired out argument that teen pregnancy has been around for decades doesnt hold up. Yea back then people were getting pregnant really young because well they didnt live as long as they do now!! Also they needed to have kids to help them tend to the farms and such or just to work so that they could make more money. Its not the same anymore we should know better and we should do better. Teen pregnancy isnt accepted because for one reason their is just no need for it and because we expect more from our future generations.

Miriam - posted on 05/16/2011

Maria, I am not a teenager. I am a married woman with 3 beautiful kids and a wonderful husband we both have great careers and love and provide for our kids and I so TOTALLY and COMPLETELY agree with you!!!

Maria - posted on 05/16/2011

I wrote that post and i found nothing wrong with the comments at all. I dont even think i said the word 'epidemic' but i dont know why that word would make you feel like a disease.



i got pregnant at 19 and i am a prefect mom to my daughter no doubt about it and i never regret having her at all but that doesnt mean im gonna go around being proud of teen pregnancy making it seem like its so wonderful



For those who think maturity doesnt come with age are probably still young. It does, dont get me wrong are there some cases where a young person is mature for their age and an old person immature for their age?? yes but with age comes wisdom and more knowledge and with that comes maturity.



I didnt even close the conversation so if you wanna open it back up go ahead i think there was a lot of good points. I think its so dumb when i go to the teen/young mothers group and all of the time i see posts like oh i was so offended or omg why do they think teen moms are bad. . . im not arguing that you do not love your son and would do anything for him thats not the case. But if you are still livng at your mom's house have no means to get out and are still in high school with no plans to get a job and your parents are the one supporting you and your baby then that right there is the problem and what is wrong with teen pregnancy.( just saying you in genera since obviously i dont know anything about your situationl)



So your proud because you thought nothing of yourself, thought you were never gonna be anything, got pregnant as a teenager and now your a mom and never thought you would be one??? Idk if its just me but that sounds weird.



Anyways Its an epidemic because it is on the rise again. The numbers were going down but now it is going back up. It is a problem and i definitely wouldnt want my daughter to get knocked up at 13, 14, - 18 or anything like that. i want my daughter to believe in herself and know that she more than just a female that can get knocked up. She can get an education work be independent get her own do anything she wants! And if she doesnt just wants to be mother then thats fine!! But once she has her finances in order and can do it on her own then she can do it the right way. Why are you gonna bring a child into the world when you cant even support yourself! Think about it.



I really dont want to raise my daughter in a generation that thinks teen pregnany is normal and thinks its ok. Its not.

Tina - posted on 05/16/2011

I certainly wouldn't encourage a young girl/15 year old to get pregnant but when people suggest someone is a bad parent based on their age that's a bit harsh. Or force someone to have an abortion because of their age. Sure teach them how to protect themselves from getting pregnant. Also educate them about STD's and that birth control isn't going to protect them from it. And no contraceptive is full proof and try to teach them from a young age that every desicion has consequences. If they do fall pregnant It's not a time to be judgmental and make them feel bad about themselves and make them feel like they have ruined there whole life. It's a time when we need to be encouraging, supportive and help them through it. And not suggest just because they are young that they're incapable.

Ashley=) - posted on 05/16/2011

I feel everything happens for a reason.I had my daughter at 19.I was young.I had no other choice but to step up and provide everything ourselves for her also.

We raised her ourselves.She made us the people we are today.I would not change my baby-girl for the world.She thought us what living is all about.:-)

Own how you feel and don't let anyone take that away from you.If you have stepped up and are doing best by your child/children then i think its great.Be proud.



I really encourage girls to live life first.Before wanting to be a mom, take all precaution's to not get pregnant at a young age.

Jane - posted on 05/15/2011

Oh, my. You have just given me proof that you have a lot of maturing to do. We are not mind readers. We can only respond to what you put on the page. And what you put on the page shows you need to grow up.

Samantha - posted on 05/15/2011

yea my mother didnt teach me much she was an alcoholic and is dead thank you for reminding me.

I will teach my son much for than that, because my mother did love me and never forget that she was sick. I dont drink i dont part i go to school and my fiancee works.
You dont know my life so dont tell me how my parents taught me or didnt. Dont tell me how to raise my son you dont know my life or his so dont judge an "epidemic" by what you think it is.

Maybe im immature in some way but i feel people who go out to the bar are immature, and i believe everyone even if there 90 years old and laying on a death bed are immature in some ways to.

So please i wont judge you if you wont judge me, i see your point of and thank you for commenting on my post.
I have goals at this moment in my life between the ages of 16 and 18 i robbed someones home and couldnt leave the state of wisconsin so no i wasnt going to accomplish much at that time in my life considering i was 15 credits behind on my schoolwork luckily i got pregnant and accomplished to graduate two weeks earlier than my class. Now im going back to school so i can teach and write are those goals enough for you?

Jane - posted on 05/14/2011

What bothers me most about your original post is the following phrase:



"I knew from an early age i wasn't going to achieve much"



If that is how you think, and how your parents taught you to think, of course you won't achieve anything. You can't reach a goal if you don't set one!



I hope for your child's sake that you do NOT teach your son that he will never achieve much. He will live up (or down) to your expectations.



Too many teens prove their immaturity by thinking that the only worthwhile thing they can do is to make a child. That is the true epidemic. Instead, you could be learning, teaching, doing, making or otherwise adding to the world, and then you could have children and teach them to do the same.

Bridgette - posted on 05/14/2011

While I do understand what they are talking about in the article I dont think that describes you at all from what you are saying. Anyone who is a good mother to their child is good no matter the age. However, what the article refers to is what I saw in the high school I went to - kids deciding to get pregnant because everyone else was, then handing off the kids to a family member to raise because they arent really wanting the kid anymore. That is what I would call an epidemic.

Now I will be honest when I say that I dont think most teens are ready to be parents (think about all the people you know - how many would really be good parents??). Note that I said not many instead of none, because I happen to know some teens who were (and still are) great parents, and also know some people who were older parents and arent any good! In the end it is not age that is the factor, but maturity, ability to nurture, and responsiblity are what makes a good parent. I can only hope that I fit these requirements (and I am a parent in my 30's!!)

Stephanie - posted on 05/14/2011

I didn't read the article. However, I would like to comment on teen mom's being an "epidemic". I am not a teen mom myself, I am 25, that being said I just think that our generation is obviously much different than the ones before us. Before our generation being a mom at such a young age was very rare and even almost unheard of. It is said that being a mom at such a young age is harder, which, I most definitely believe. If I would imagine myself being a mom that young, I don't know that I could handle it. It may be unwise for many reasons to have a child so young, but life happens and I am glad to see that even when circumstances aren't exactly ideal, that you young women can pull it together for the sake of your children! :)

Jodi - posted on 05/14/2011

Oh, my mistake, because I thought this discussion was about you all being OFFENDED by the debate. Being offended indicates that you took it personally.

Still, no-one has answered the question:
"Do you want your daughter to have babies when she is 15"

Christina - posted on 05/14/2011

Okay, as a 28yr old mother who had her first child at 17yrs old, I have to comment.

The main issues that society has with teenage pregnancy is that a teenager is not capable of caring for a child alone. (I am talking about minors under the age of 18yrs old.) You can't rent an apt. You can't get a good paying job. You can't even take yourself to the dr without your parent's permission! Taking care of a child is a lot more than just feeding it, clothing it, ect. It is supporting it financially. If you can't support yourself financially, then you can't support someone else.
I supported my son financially, and my parents supported me. I was allowed to live under their roof without paying rent. They bought my food. I bought my son's food.

Megan - posted on 05/14/2011

K.R. - To me and epicedmic mean a disease eg, black plague. that was an epidemic. small pox was an epidemic. teen pregnancy is the only non-disease epidemic I've heard of thus far.

Amanda - posted on 05/14/2011

I think that if you stood up and took care of your baby and brought your family closer that that is a good thing. At least you did not just say "I give up" or have an abortion or something like that. I think that life is a blessing and even if you are a teen mom that you can be a Great MOM. Some ppl like to wait until later in life to have kids and others are proud to have kids early. I know that I don't regret my two babies.

K. - posted on 05/14/2011

How do I know they weren't using it in that context? Because pregnancy is not a disease! You read too far into in because you're insecure. You obviously care what people think or 'disease' wouldn't have been the first thing that popped into your mind when you hear the word epidemic. You can't 'catch' a pregnancy. Everyone knows that. You took offense to a particular word when no offense should have been taken. For the sake of your child, grow up.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

If you want to talk to me personaly message me.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

I am DONE posting this has become pointless because basicly every single thing will be wrong.



But it is also wrong to dictate how other people should lead there lives, which apparently i should be embarrassed about having a child.



To bad im not.



Anyways if you want to talk to me message me personaly.



Otherwise talk amongst yourselves about how teens should be shameful and walk down the road of forgottens because they have a child out of wedlock and are young, like the forgotten time of 50 years ago when they did it.



I'll just go discuss this with my grandmama and she will tell me how its okay and she had my uncles and dad when she was 17.



My only problem with teen parenting is there is no reason for 13 and 14 year olds having children but that i think is from lack of education from parents, remember its not the schools job to teach your children everything about sex, thats our job as parents. and we have the experience to show them why to wait.



How about instead of bashing teen moms about there ability to raise children and show them how to do it, and encourage them to be good parents, instead of driving us into worthless arguments about it?



Instead of talking about how it should be stopped we show them why it shouldnt be done?



I do not regret a single thing in my life including my son, i would do it all over again including the labor. I would live every aspect of my "poor" exsistance again.



I am not poor, i have just learned to live with less.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

"How about you first pull out a dictionary and look up at least one of the definitions for 'epidemic'. It doesn't have to necessarily mean a disease. EPIDEMIC: 1. affecting or tending to affect a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time. Sorry, but teenage pregnancy is some areas of this great world is an epidemic. And no, I don't think you're diseased. "

In the sentance" how about you" you are using it in way stating that i hadnt looked it up in the dictionary. Which also stated you where assuming i hadnt.

Now there are three definition i believe to the word epidemic. The most widely used version " to describe a widespread of diseases". That was the context i was using it yes they where using it in a different context, but i was using it in my own context. I was simply showing that calling it an epidemic, i as a teenage mother, see them calling us a disease. How do you know they werent using it in that type of context anyways where you there when they made the article?

What am i trying to prove, right now im trying to prove that my conversation has turned into people fighting over the word epidemic.

Whats my point my point is dont put me into a statistic, dont call us an epidemic, and get over the fact that teenage pregnancy exsist. Saying we need to be "stopped" and people would "push abortions for there kids" is wrong. Your not helping your cause by saying these things, maturity does not come with age it comes with experience and what happens to you in life.

Why do you care anyways you come on here with a snide remark about how i should pull out a dictionary and then expect someone not to say something to you? Arent you full of assumptions.

I regret starting this conversation, just let the teenage moms not have there share in this then.

"I think it's pretty rare for a child (which is what a teenager is) to have the required level of maturity and responsibility to be a good mum. Are there exceptions? Of course! There are a few on this board, and I know a couple in RL. But for the most part, teenagers simply don't have what it takes. How can they? They haven't finished growing and developing yet."

K. - posted on 05/14/2011

Samantha you're pretty big on the assumptions aren't ya? Reread my post, I never once implied that you couldn't read a dictionary. I merely suggested that you pull one out because there is more than one definition for 'epidemic'. In your original post you expressed anger over the use of that word because, and I quote "Now i dont know about you, but me and my son are not a disease." You took the word being used in a particular article out of context. And your last post in direct response to me was ridiculous. You're sure you looked to word up before me? I didn't know it was a race. You're pretty sure you learned it in the 8th grade or before that? What's your point? What are you trying to prove?

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

thanks for ruining my conversation by the way, by coming on here where all offended and yet again assuming you all know whats right and how where feeling.

Turning a simple conversation about how do you feel about this debate that these people where having, into a dont be offended by it we where only saying this.

Yea we got what you where saying, but this is what where saying now. Its not like we where gonna start attacking those people or something I just wanted to discuss the aspects of said debate.

Do you want me to apologize? Im sorry i showed the other teen moms your debate the next time we try to rationalize why people feel the way they do about teen moms i will just go find a bunch of statistics that state where all on food share.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

how can i explain this correctly to you.

Im not taking them personaly thinking i am is wrong because im sure alot worst things have happend to me than being called dumb names.

Furthermore, i really just dont care what people think in general i think ive grown up enough.

I simply have started a conversation with other teen moms to discuss the debate that you had as i have stated earlier in another comment. I WILL NOT BE STATING IT AGAIN.

If you truely have a problem with the simple conversation i have started then please do not comment on it again. Because yet again i have started this so other teen moms can look at and see is it, is it wrong that i have shown them information?

Because yet again as i stated earlier, i didnt even read pass the first page, plus they have a right to come on here and say what they wanna say about it since they are teen moms too, they have a right to defend there ideals.

No idealy i dont want my son to get a girl pregnant but if he did i certainly wont tell him it was a mistake or he was wrong.

So, yet again i have created this post so that the other teen moms can have there say in it since they are teen moms like me and probably like you and not debate moms.

You seem to be taking it personaly since you feel the need to rationalize the debate.

I do not care about how they feel, i care about how the teen moms feel about it, i wanna hear there opinions on it.

Yes my post says should i be offended, but that was so people would read what i say :)

Jodi - posted on 05/14/2011

And I will again state:



"when asked the question, "Do you want your daughter to have babies when she is 15", your answer will probably be, well ideally, I'd prefer she didn't. If she does, I'd support her, but I would prefer if she waited a bit."



My statement above is NOT a "put down" of teen mothers.



Most people who have babies as teens would not also encourage their children to do the same. That is the point many people are trying to make. It is not ideal. It doesn't mean they can't be great mothers. It just means they are barely equipped for the world yet, mostly haven't finished high school, let alone have any job skills to support their family. It isn't ideal, and anyone who says it is would be delusional. You can't see this perspective because you are taking the comments WAY too personally.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

ALSO i am not condoning or saying teenage pregnancy is wrong i am saying it is time for a change in thinking and its time for people to realize that teenagers have been getting pregnant for many moons now saying where incapable is way beyong wrong when plenty of us raise children to accomplish far better things most "adults" children do.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

K.R. coming on here and assuming i cant read a dictionary is absurd i have read i know what it means and the first meaning is 1. A wide spread of disease 2. A largely affected area. So yes i have looked it up want me to show you the link cause im sure i did it before you did.

What i am pissed off about for the THIRD time is the way peoples thinking hasnt changed over times pregnancy in teenagers has been around since we where banging rocks together. Then it became a problem to people for some reason, dont call us immature and dont refer to us as people who are incapable of raising children i think we have proven you wrong time and time again.

PLEASE next time read my other post which do explain my reasoning do not assume i can not read or have not read the meaning of this word, because im pretty sure i learned it in the 8th grade or before that.

K. - posted on 05/14/2011

How about you first pull out a dictionary and look up at least one of the definitions for 'epidemic'. It doesn't have to necessarily mean a disease. EPIDEMIC: 1. affecting or tending to affect a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time. Sorry, but teenage pregnancy is some areas of this great world is an epidemic. And no, I don't think you're diseased.

Tasha - posted on 05/14/2011

you know what, i agree with you, i got pregnant with my son when i was 16, but honestly, it depends on your maturity and if you are mentally ready for taking care of a child. i wasnt when i was first pregnant with him, but as the due date came closer,i matured enough to take care of him and myself.

Samantha - posted on 05/14/2011

I would like to state now that NO ONE is mad at the debate moms or the person who created the page it is the fact that people actualy have opinions that are so down graded towards teen moms and the fact people throw us all into a statistic.

We are not a statistic we are human being with feelings and love and care for our children. Most of us do not abuse or neglect our children.

Just like there are bad "adult" moms there are bad "teenage" moms.

In my life though i have seen many more bad "adult" moms than bad "teenage" moms.

Saying where bad cause where on food share or assistance is a bad sterotype to i see as many adults on it as i do teenagers. I also see teenagers trying harder with there children than adults.

I think "adult" parents become lazier because atomaticly they get the good credidation since they are older while teenagers have to have the extra push to get that credit for being a good parent.

Jodi - posted on 05/13/2011

OK, I am the person wh mentioned it being an epidemic - I was "quoting" an article. I wasn't personally calling it an epidemic. So no need to get all hurt at a debating group because it was mentioned. If you take issue with it, contact the newspaper the article was printed in.



Seriously, it was a debate on our viewpoints about teen pregnancy in general. Every single person in that debate agreed that there are great teenage mothers out there, and I think you will find that most just consider it not ideal. And honestly, when asked the question, "Do you want your daughter to have babies when she is 15", your answer will probably be, well ideally, I'd prefer she didn't. If she does, I'd support her, but I would prefer if she waited a bit.



And if you don't say that NOW, there is a huge chance that in 10 years you will be.



You COULD choose not to personalise the debate. You own being offended by generalisations in a debate. It is YOUR perception that is making you upset. No-one directed any of that debate towards any single person.

Alisha - posted on 05/13/2011

I would be SO offended, In fact, I am.
That is complete BS. I am not even 19 years old yet and I have an 18 month old, and I am a FANTASTIC mother. Generalizing young women being "bad" or "unfit" or "not qualified" mothers. Taking responsibility for your actions is much more "mature" than (in my opinion) committing a crime and getting an abortion. If a young woman feels she is old enough and mature enough to have sex than it is her responsibility to take care of a child if that is what results from her doing the deed.

Katherine - posted on 05/13/2011

It was an "epidemic" 90 out of 508 girls in ONE HS got pregnant!!!! That's a lot. And they admitted it was a contest.

Samantha - posted on 05/13/2011

I knew it was a debate , i was talking about the article calling it an "epidemic". like a disease or something.



Plus some of those comments where on the offensive side but 159 pages is to much to read so i only read the first page.



You cant catch teenage pregnancy..

Carmina - posted on 05/13/2011

this is a hard topic! im almost 21 with a 19 month old and preg with my second so im with you on the conversation. i clicked on the link with the debate and i didnt find it that offensive. i would never encourage any young female to fall pregnant without being married or atleast have some sort of studying underway. i dont think being a parent is hard i love it personally but it really does change your life and i think a lot of young girls would not be ready for it. i live in australia in a city and the stereotype here for young mums is horrible, but unfortunatly its true most young mothers are a bit on the rough side and its hard for us nice young parents to shine through, it makes me angry! i LOVE being a mother (hence why im having my second) but i can understand what the people are saying in the conversation, as i read some of them were also young parents just grown up which i admire so they cant be being too judgemental. i hope this isnt offensive just my point of view, im a proud parent too and i love everything that you wrote =)

Katherine - posted on 05/13/2011

Just so you guys know (and so you're not so offended) it was a debate, nothing more nothing less. Kind of like if you were to debate the age of older parents (I'm 36). I have a 2yo and a 5.5yo. I mean I'm considered OLD!!! I'm a huge member of DM and also the admin for WtCoM, so I just don't want you to feel like people were "picking" on teenage mothers.
Of course there have been excellent moms, we just like to pick things apart.

Kathleen - posted on 05/13/2011

I have to say i was very offended.

It hurts me to see stuff like that written about teen mom's seeing as i am one myself. i think its a problem that teens are having unsafe sex and just keep getting abortions. i am happy to say that the lady who said she would not only encourage but PUSH abortion on her daughter 100% is a sad lady and maybe needs to rethink the values in her life and her family.

I have a young girl 6 months now. and when she is a teen and if she tells me she is a pregnant teen i will be there for her help her out with what ever she needs to be a responsible mother that she will need to be. not just go oh well you got pregnant here get an abortion. take the easy way out.

To me getting pregnant was not planned but the best thing that has happened to me. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Just because i am 19 and got pregnant at 18 does not mean i am an unfit mother. I am PROUD TO BE A MOTHER. i take very good care of my daughter, finish my schooling while she's in bed at night and take care of my soon to be husband. I do all that a 30 year old SAHM does and i do it will.



I currently share a house i will say though with my mother because she is very ill and cant take care of herself and my younger 7 year old sister. so i do not have to pay rent but i buy my own food and pay the t.v bills and such i only do not have to pay rent.



My current job at this house is i work with my mother and family as a foster family. and as a foster family we take care of children that come in to our home. so far we have not had a child come from a teen family. ( i am not saying they are not out there)



but i am just appalled at the fact that people see teen pregnancy as such an atrocious thing when every couple months i get children come in to my home from families of men and women who are well in to their 30's and 40's who are inapplicable of taking care of a child. Bathing, feeding and even picking the child up.



It has nothing to do with AGE it has everything to do with maturity.



I would rather see 100000 teen mom's working their bums off to make a life great for them and their children then see one abortion forced or pressured on a young woman because society or their parents think its wrong.



Its sickening to see such a bias opinion from so many people when a lot of teen mom's are doing such a wonderful job and rocking the mom world for them and their children.



To you mothers who love you children and take great care of them i applaud your choice and think you are amazing.



.I would also like to add the fact of in the early years many woman had children and married as early as 14 it has only been like what the past 30 years where reliable birth control has allowed us to make the choice to not have children as long as you wish if it works to its full potential.



If teens were incapable of raising children then most of us would not be here to day.



Go do you research in your family and see how young your ancestors were when then had children. jeez.



People who disagree with the fact that teens cant make great parents go back from under your dirty rock you came from and hang your head in shame.

Ashley - posted on 05/13/2011

It doesn't matter what other people think all that matters is your a good mother to your child. Some time its their own insecurities about being a mother/parent that makes them act like that. Keep your head up and continue to do what you do.....be a good mother and be strong for your family.

Samantha - posted on 05/13/2011

I just get mad about being a sterotype, "adults" atumaticly assume they know everything about teenagers "because they where once one". Every human being is different and we all have gone through different things to get to the way we are.

Going through pregnancy gives you many different hormones read any of the books and one part of those hormones is the "nesting stage" where body will basicly develop you and teach you to be prepared for a child.

Also maybe instead of worrying about how we got pregnant and why and are we mature enough try taking alook at yourselves every single one of you bitch about teenage pregnancy but where are YOU as your teenagers are getting pregnant, sitting in a bar, drinking with your friends, going out to clubs, sitting on your computers and playing your video games.

Now amazingly plenty of that us what teenagers do and you complain about that as there doing it. So please do tell me what should your teenagers be doing?

At least i learned one thing from being pregnant and having a kid is to actualy pay attention to MY kid, not yours because most of you "adult" parents to pay attention to YOUR kids at parks and mcdonalds and expect everyone else to do it for you.

Megan - posted on 05/13/2011

Samantha - I agree completely! I mean, no matter what your life was like you always want your children to have better than you had in some way. I think it's the people who 'struggle' (this is, aren't millionaires) with money are better at teaching their children the responibility and value of money. I'm not saying being poor makes you a better parent, but if you have tons of money and your kids grow up getting whatever they want whenever they ask for it, they won't hav the same values.

Miriam - you make an excellent point too. When someone says 'oh,'ll just go on welfare' then you're not ready to be a mom if you're ALREADY setting that up as your go-to thing. That should be a last resort in a desperate situation. I mean, everyone needs help sometimes, but you should not plan to live off other people.

Samantha - posted on 05/13/2011

I see nothing wrong with needing help once in awhile just dont make a career out of my taxes lol.

Im going to school in fall and my boyfriend works to jobs and makes good money, we keep a happy home and a loving relationship, my boyfriend isnt the real father of my child but he loves him just the same, i dont recieve child support but we make do without.

You know our children will be better off than theres in the end, children have to learn how to live without things in there life. Being "poor" as they say gives our children the knowledge of truely learning from our mistakes. It also makes us have a harder drive of teaching our children the knowledge of mistakes because they themselves will want to be something better than we where.

I myself will be proud of my child even more for pushing them to be better than me because isnt that what we all want from our children no matter where we came from?

Miriam - posted on 05/13/2011

Im all for having as many babies as you want whenever you want as long as you can afford them! I work full time and so does my husband and we get nothing free for our 3 kids, so If you can afford them without government help (my taxes:) than go for it!!

Tina - posted on 05/13/2011

I managed to have a say just because the dabate got locked up. I'm young but not a teen but I was still quite offended.

Megan - posted on 05/13/2011

Omg, reading those posts made my blood pressure go up, I swear. What ignorance!! And just.. genuine bitchiness. I don't even have the words for how insulted I am by that, and I lost my baby. These are the kinds of people who told me 'it's better this way' when I miscarried. BITE ME. We're trying again because you know what? we CAN do it, and we WANT TO. Age and maturity are not mutually exclusive. I had to raise a baby girl that was not even my own for the first 6 months of her life because her own parents were not there - ever. I gave up going to school, I used what little money I had to provide for HER instead of myself. I got up all through the night and coped with no sleep, a screaming baby and I did a great job with my SO. So I will wear the label proudly when my time comes because this is what we want for our life. I can't believe the admin disabled comments, so people are unable to defend themselves! I am egaged to my SO, and we've been together for over two years. We are strong together and have both been through more crap then we should have had to endure, which made us closer, stronger and ultimately more responsible and mature.

Tina - posted on 05/13/2011

Looked at that debate myself I was surprised how people can be so judgemental. Someone said teen pregnancies should definately be stopped. What a joke there has always been teen pregnancies and always will be. I bet half the ones pointing the finger were once young mums themselves. If anything it was even worse in the old days. I recall hearing about 13/14 year old girl and so on getting married and having kids and alot of them to much older men. So who are they to judge young mums today. I swear people are so narrow minded not every parent is the same.

Jami - posted on 05/13/2011

you know, I read two or three replies before I got so heated I almost caught on fire! But it's closed to further comments, so I couldn't put my two cents in! The epidemic is not teen pregnancy, the epidemic is teen responsibility-not even as much as maturity. They were posting that maturity comes with age which is TOTALLY wrong. Maturity comes with responsibility, that is taught by PARENTS. Not every teen mom is a bad one, and not every bad teen mom was raised right and just "rebelled" one day. I believe the child/young adult's maturity level and responsibility level is solely the responsibility of THEIR parent to instill that, so in the case they do end up pregnant at a young age-they are ready to face the consequences or make a mature decision on what to do about it. I got pregnant when I was 17. I was already engaged and everyone thought it was just another young love story with a baby conceived in the back seat of a car. We actually planned our first, then were married before I even gave birth and not for that reason. We married because we loved each other and were BOTH raised with responsibility and were both mature enough to take on that type of responsibility. We are still married today - 3 years later, I am 20( almost 21 ) years old and 6 months pregnant with #2-another planned pregnancy. We love being parents and it brings us JUST as much joy as a 26-32 year old ( average ) mother and father! We both finished school, I am in college, and he is in the US NAVY ( VERY proud navy wife here ) and we have a wonderful income, a beautiful home, were able to finance a new vehicle and never fell into the "teen parent" stereotype that teen mom lays out and old prudes want to talk trash about these days! Look back 30-40 years ago when 20 was the AVERAGE child bearing age for women and 16 and 17 was normal! Why is it so bad now? I'm telling you-parents aren't instilling responsibility and maturity in the children and when we see jenelle on teen mom, that's the proof! I'm DAMN proud of stepping up to the young mother plate and I will be until the day I die! debating mums aren't going to break me because I'm stronger than they are, hiding behind their keyboards talking about me like I'm a disease - THEY'RE THE DISEASE! phew, I feel better now that I got that off my chest! and yes you should be proud! Don't let those prudes break your spirit! And you should be angry, too! I sure am! and I can't defend myself because the admin disabled comments! They can go ahead and bite me TOO!

Tina - posted on 05/12/2011

yeah bit silly reffering to teen mums in that way. It's redicilous when everyone's judged on the actions of a few. I remember when I was doing volunteer work at teen challenge in australia. There was this lady having a good old winge to my supervisor about young mums and how they only have babies to get the baby bonus and get money from the government to get plasma tvs and so on. I'm quite pleased to say my supervisor put her back in her place. He pointed out the fact, at that stage I was a young bride and that I might be starting a family. Not every young person that has kids is like that. There may be a few that have kids for the wrong reasons. But they'd learn quickly that you get that money for a reason because when you have a child you need it to get by and it goes quickly and that's not to say they're bad parents either. Regardless of age you get good mums and not so good mums.

April - posted on 05/12/2011

LOL. You know, i've noticed a lot of people getting offended by the debating mums community.

Anyway i think it's great you feel proud, being a mum is awesome. Wouldn't trade it for the world :)

Samantha - posted on 05/12/2011

http://www.circleofmoms.com/debating-mum...

i think i got it right its from this debating page i was just upset because people act like its some sort of disease

Montanna - posted on 05/12/2011

can you tell me where you found the article? i'd like to read it...

Samantha - posted on 05/12/2011

yay i made my own conversation *internet tear drop*.