Single, Teenage Mother?

Courtney - posted on 07/02/2010 ( 44 moms have responded )

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How many of you are single teen mothers? And why is the father not in your childs life? I'm a single mother, and I am 19 years old. The father of my child is 17 and left me for a 26 year old woman and her two children. He was with her throughout my pregnancy and the first month of my daughters life. He isn't with her now, and still doesn't come around. "He doesn't want to be tied down". He keeps saying he wants to be a good father and wants to help take care of her, yet has done nothing. He rarely answers my calls or returns my text messages and has only seen her about 4 times since her birth.

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Arlene - posted on 11/30/2013

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I am a single mom too.i am nineteen my baby daddy well he just got a new gf when he found out I was preg it took him 6 months after the baby was born to finally see him and a day later he told me my son was a mistake and left againfor his gf. Just remember your baby always comes first

Sierra - posted on 11/27/2013

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At first my son's dad seemed super excited that we would be having a baby, but after a while he just kept cheating on me and not helping me with anything. So, I left him. He is still in our sons life, but he still hasn't grown up.

Vanessa - posted on 08/06/2012

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I really, really feel for what all of you are going through because I've been there. I had my daughter at 17 and my son at 19. I'm now 30. Neither father has been in their lives for more than a decade now. I think it's worked out for the best. In the beginning, it was extraordinarily difficult. Things began to improve when I decided to go to college.



While I don't doubt that a young dad wants to be a good father, like you, he likely is nowhere near ready for the responsibility and sacrifices that are needed to be a good parent. Perhaps because I am the mother, that is, I carried around another life in my body for nine months, I felt a greater connection as well as social pressure to be there for my kids. It's made me a strong person.



I know some of you feel scared right now. My first piece of advice is to not waste any more time on these chumps. You will need REAL support to make it through the next 18+ years. Swallow your pride and ask for help from reliable people, even if you don't know them that well. There are so many good people out there willing to help those who want to help themselves.



Second, invest in yourself and your child(ren) will benefit. I graduated from law school three months ago, something I couldn't even dream of accomplishing when I was a teenager because my life was such a wreck. Having kids forced me to try things I was frightened of, like going to college.



Third, no matter how bad it gets, believe me, it does get better. And although you may feel extraordinarily lonely at times, remember that you are the most important person in the world to your child and they need you to take good care of yourself. Make a point of doing something nice for yourself on a regular basis.



Fourth, and finally, you are going to make mistakes. Learn from them and forgive yourself. Just because you're a young mom doesn't mean you're going to be a bad one. Parenting is a skill. Even mature mothers looks to experts for advice. Read as much as you can about raising your child and try to socialize with other moms. You're already here; keep up the good work!

Joana - posted on 04/07/2013

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Im 17 with my 1 year old babygirl... iwas 15 when iwas pregnant when my babydaddy didnt want to be in my babys ormy life so he left and since then he doesnt even know his daughter or ever help me on and thing ... good thing my parents help me but its not so good living with them ethier there always throughing thing in my face on how they help me out with things for my baby.. ithank god he let my have my lil princes cusz thanksz to her she gives me the strenth to keep moving foward in life... and thank for the mirice that she was born cusz when iwas 3month pregnant we got in a car accedent and right when she was born she didnt cry and was purple and thank t a mircale the docter said she started breathing cusz she was suffacating

Lilia - posted on 11/25/2013

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I'm new to this website so hopefully someone will reply too my post and give opinions or suggestions / advice . I got pregnant at 17, Junior in high school. Had my wonderful son at 18. His dad was so excited to be a dad, at first he will go to my appointments and argue with me that my baby was gonna be a boy because I wanted a girl. When we found out the sex he was extremely happy. At my fifth month, we found out my son was coming with a brain problem and he was gonna have complications. He then started backing off, didn't care much and just left me and started dating, partying, drinking, smoking. I had my son and yes he has complications and im single teenager doing it on my own. Im a senior trying to graduate and its hard with all this appointments with specialist amd therapys my son has. I feed him through a g-tube, he has hearing loss (will be getting hearing aids soon) and his eyes cross, also doesn't blink. I really would appreciate to talk too a single mother and get advice.

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Racquel - posted 5 days ago

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wow some guys are unbelievable.. well I'm 18, my son is one and his father and I broke up when I was 4 months pregnant. he hit me with that, "I just don't love you anymore" crap and I was so depressed and sick I thought I was going to miscarry. we ended up getting back together around 5 months but he was just cheating on me the whole time, I found out when my son was just a few weeks old. it's tuff being a single teen mom but, I love my son very much and wouldn't want it any other way :)

Isabel - posted on 07/25/2014

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Im a single mom, my babys father is currenly in jail for stealing* so he tells me.. im 18 and he's nineteen and well its hard being young parents right !? like for real, most of us mothers grow UP and know whats right for our kids and we try to do the best that we can but some fathers and lets admit mothers cant seem to realize whats important. everytime my and the bd would break up he would go mess around and do ridiculous things and he was also abusive towards me physically. so i was not in the best relationship and since he has been locked away for a while i honestly been stress free. of course all i ever wanted in the world was for my babys dad to be there. but for me to be beat for it? nope. for me to look ridiculous when he goes to another woman? nope. honey you just gotta see that your important. and you deserve a MAN who will be there for you and your child. not only that but suppost you. not someone who is just guna keep on talking about he wants to be there cause bs. he woulda done it from the start NO HESITATION. You and your child come first. even if you love him. you deserve to be treated the right way. and if it means for you to be single then hey its okay(: the right man will come along boo♥

Giselle - posted on 06/06/2013

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I know how you feel I eventually had to cut all ties from my bd because it was obvious nothing was going to change. Like my FB page for single mother's to discuss everyday topics and support https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-United/401318573247625?ref=hl and don't forget to share.

Giselle - posted on 06/06/2013

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I was the same way pregnant and knew that I was going to be a single mother it's not easy in the beginning but it will all work out. Like my FB page for single mother's to discuss everyday topics and support https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-United/401318573247625?ref=hl and don't forget to share.

Giselle - posted on 06/06/2013

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Like my FB page for single mother's to discuss everyday topics and support https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-United/401318573247625?ref=hl and don't forget to share.

Aikira - posted on 05/22/2013

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I'm 18 years old and I'm 30 weeks and two days and im expecting my son on July 28, 2013. I'm a single parent already, i know that things will get rough because my son's father doesn't want to be in his life but its okay, just gotta pray and stay positive about it for his sake.

Christi - posted on 04/24/2013

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I am 17 years old now and i have two kids in my little family. My daughter just turned 2 years old in January, but her father didn't involved in her life because he passed away in a car accident. I don't honestly believe however he would have even attempted to get involved, because he never wanted to do things like do to doctor appointments to see the baby. My son is almost a year old and his dad is actually my brother, now before you jump to conclusions let me explain. My brother did not have sex with me, Beckett is the son of My brother and his ex-girlfriend. However when he was born his mother bailed and my brother died about two weeks after Beckett died. I took up the responsibility of both children because they both mean the world to me. I think most guys don't understand how amazing it is to be a dad, until they hold it, but most teen dads are just like whatever and bail not wanting anything to do with them. I thank god that i have my two cuties in my life, because they are my whole. I also thank god for my amazing boyfriend who is in the children's like he is amazing with the kids. I honestly am happy with where i am at.

Joanna - posted on 02/14/2013

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Hello Everyone. I'm 20 years old and my daughter is almost 2. The father is not a part of her life. Ever since we found out I was pregnant, we moved in together and he totally changed. All he wanted to do was smoke pot, drink, and hit on other girls. I was a full time student and had to work 2 jobs because he didn't work. He beat me 4 times when I was about 5 months pregnant so I developed a very bad depression. He was never like this until we moved in together. One day he beat me so bad throughout the whole night, I got my things and left. Thank god my mom was willing to take me back under her roof. I tried to give him a chance and include him in my daughters life but he wanted to control everything and always threatened to kill me. Only reason he wanted to be in her life was to get to me and ruin my life. So now, I raise my beautiful daughter by myself and its for the better. She is the smartest, brightest little girl that I am thankful for every single day. I can honestly say she is my miracle baby. I don't know how she came out health after all I been put through, the beatings and depression. She is the only reason why I am living today and wake up each morning with a smile on my face. It's tough being a young single mom. Thank you everyone for choosing life for your babies and all the sacrifices you all face.

Amber - posted on 02/01/2013

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i am a 18 year old single mom i had my little girl at 17 her dad somes and gose as he pleases leving a mas ever time he comes around my mom dose not like him and wants me to not let him see her i cant do that thow i grow up with my mom hatein my dad my dad hateing me and a step dad who hurt me a lot and i know he would never do that but i just cant kick him out of her life

Annie - posted on 02/01/2013

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I'm only 17 & a future single mom due in July. I respect every single one of you. I'm so scared of what to come ahead

Bridin - posted on 01/28/2013

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I feel you. I'm Bridin,18 years old, no education, no job, in the poverty generation of England and 28 weeks pregnant. My baby daddy's in the army so he went off cheating on me all the time, he tried beating me up at the beginning of the pregnancy to kill the baby, then we split up and he tried saying for the first 4/5 months it wasn't his. He got back in contact and wanted to be a dad, he's an alcoholic who spends all his money on booze, he doesn't even own a proper phone or laptop and he's on £1700 a month.
I'm now living with my grandparents because my parents are suicidal alcoholics and don't want me, i'm very lucky to be getting support off my big brother, sister in law, big sister, nan, step grandad, grandad and uncle Bob. I couldn't be any happier with who i have support from now.
I don't need to dad, i have a boyfriend now who's a year younger than me but he's so amazing and affectionate, understanding and caring. I think you just need to look at the good things you have in your life and realise you don't need the scum :)

Natalia - posted on 01/28/2013

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I'm 19 and a single mama , my son is three weeks old and my bd continues to be a loser. Well so be it, I e tried to involve him, I've tried to come get him to see his son but he doesn't want to. And sad part is is , he's 26 , you'd think by now he'd have his priorities in check, or atleast a conscious!! But like many mamas have said already, it's their loss!! Good riddance

Yvette - posted on 08/13/2012

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Alexis - posted on 08/02/2012

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I'm 18 and my first is due March 8, 2013. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and have been living together for just over a year. Since finding out we are pregnant he's been very mean and has been drinking, smoking pot, and I believe he's cheated on me (again). He's also been not coming home and he doesn't call or text or anything. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do../:

Tabby - posted on 08/11/2010

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I'm 18 and a single mother i have a son thats 7 months, well my sons dad wanted the same thing i guess, like he wants to go out drinking, smoke weed, and cheat. Idk why he wants that but my sons dad did the same thing during my pregnancy he cheated on me with 3 other girls that didnt have kids. So now he doesnt answer my emails or anything so i just thought why bother with the guy when he lies to me and so called tries to be there for his kid when he doesnt.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/11/2010

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Im 18 and my son is about to turn 3. My son is the oldest of his fathers three children. So yeah he has 3 kids under 3 and Ive been told he is involved in the lives of the younger two, but not my son. He spent the afternoon with my son one day then told me he would call to set up another day to see him, but I never heard from him again.
At this point Im only relieved that he is gone. He was emotionally/mentally abusive to me throughout my pregnancy and I dont want my son to grow up thinking that its okay to treat women that way.

Melissa - posted on 08/11/2010

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iM 17 AND MY DAUGHTERS FATHER iS 20 WE WERENT TOGETHER ANYMORE WHEN i FOUND OUT i WAS PREGNANT HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BE iN HER LiFE BUT HAS NOT DONE ANYTHiNG OR BOUGHT ANYTHiNG FOR HiS DAUGHTER HE SAiD THAT HE DONT THiNK SHE iS HiS BUT i KNOW SHE iS CONSiDERiNG HE iS THE ONLY GUY THAT i WAS WiTH WHEN i GOT PREGNANT GUYS SAY THAT THEY WiLL MAN UP AND BE THERE FOR THERE KiDS BUT MOST OF THEM DONT iT SUCKS i HAVE BOUGHT EVERYTHiNG FOR MY DAUGHTER WiTH OUT HiS HELP i REALLY DONT KNOW HOW A GUY COULD BE SO WRONG AS TO NOT WANT TO BE iN THERE CHiLDS LiFE i WiSH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WiTH YOUR BABY iF YOU NEED TO TALK im HERE TO TALK iM iN THE SAME POSiTiON :)

Macie - posted on 08/11/2010

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Im 18 and a single mom.
I was with my daughter Lanie's dad for four and a half years on and off from the time I was 13 until about three weeks after I found out I was pregnant. We were eachothers firsts for everything and we grew up together. After we found out he made all these promises about being a good dad and everything, then he cheated on me with this girl and was with her for a little bit, he promised me the world and since I was pregnant with his child and everything I gave him another chance, about two weeks later I had to go to north carolina to visit my dad and not even two days later he met this girl and left me for her. He played with my emotions the whole pregnancy saying how he loved me so much and how we would be together when the baby was born. I went into labor and he came in like we had been together the whole time, helped with the whole labor thing and even stuck around for the first week of her life. after that he slowly stopped coming around and eventually only saw her when his mom asked to see her. I'm not technically a 'single' mom because i'm now with this wonderful guy who treats lanie like his own and i've been with him since she was about a month old. But it's hard nothing having the financial help and everything that you need with the real father. i've done it for nine months without him now and there are things I wish I could change but then I think that maybe she's better off without him his addictions and drama.

Jasmine - posted on 07/15/2010

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Hi im 19 and have a 2 n a half yr old daughter!! for about the first year of her life we had an on again off again relationship. when we were together he was a pretty good dad. he helped me did what i asked visited her and all that. however wheneever we werent together or had another girlfriend he forgot about our daughter. he stopped visiting and calling. he was in my daughters life very little up until about 5 months ago. in the past 5 months he completly disappeared and we never see him. mostly because of his new immature younger girlfriend. he kicked my daughter out of his life and really has no interest in what goes on in her life. it hurt me at first when he started all of this. but now ive gotten over it. im happier than ever. im now im a great relationship with a wonderful man. i was hurt and alone for so long that i forgot what it had felt like to be happy again. if the father doesnt want to be in your childs life that really just sucks for him! because you should just worry about continuing to make your child happy and healthy. youre the one thats going to be showered with all the love and funny moments in your childs life and nothing is better then that!! sooner or later he'll realize what hes doing isnt right. dont expect it to be sooner though not everyones the same but my daughter has been in my life almost 3 yrs and her dads almost 20 n still hasnt grown up. he only pays child support because its automatically taken out of his check. dont force him to do anything either i tried everything i could for him to be apart of our daughters life and nothing worked. i finally gave up and im alot happier

Chantelle - posted on 07/14/2010

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im 19 years old and have a 2month old daughter.I left the father before i found out i was pregnant he didnt talk to me until i was 5 months pregnant and when he did he wanted to change my daughters name and also said he wanted to be a part of her life. I told him he couldn't change her name but he could see her when ever he wanted. Since then he hasn't talked to me once and hasn't even seen her. I just think of him as a sperm donor haha shes better off with out him and so is your little girl if hes being like that!

Nicole - posted on 07/14/2010

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I'm 19 years old. I am due with my first child on August 6th! The father left me when I was 2 months pregnant for another girl. He has doubts about him being the father, which is stupid he is the father but doesn't want to own up to it. He says he will be there for me. I don't know if I believe him. He wont even give me his number and will call me on a restricted number. I recently found out that his girlfriend is about 3 months pregnant.

Danielle - posted on 07/13/2010

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At Brittany Shehane - many of us mum's are still kids ourselves but we do the right thing and grow up for our children. why should it be any different for the blokes? We didn't get ourselves pregnant and it should be just as much the fellas resposibility as it is ours.

Danielle - posted on 07/13/2010

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I'm 19 with a beautiful 7 month old boy. his father is a complete douche. he lost complete interest in me and my son when he was born. he has moments every few months when he wants everything to do with Jaycob and then i don't hear from him for months. he has seen Jaycob twice in the last 4 months. I'm getting no financial support from him. But i am now with a wonderful man who dotes on my son and has been more of a father to him then his biological dad has ever been. :)

Kiersten - posted on 07/13/2010

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Guys are stupid!!!! I know you guys hear me on that one and I know that there is the emotional aspect of the whole situation but every father needs to man up so I suggest making him in the only way you can, financially! Make them pay child support, if you file for child support they will be legally bound!!

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At Courtney Luce...Men do take responsibility for their actions, but when the father of a baby is still a kid himself, how can you expect him to act like a man?

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This is kind of an old post but I'm 19 and single too. Me and my ex were only together for a week before I got pregnant so not really off to a great start lol. Him and his mom wanted me to get an abortion because I "ruined their lives" but I decided to keep the baby whether I did it alone or not. We broke up when I was 2 1/2 months pregnant and saw each other twice between then and when I had the baby. He didn't help me buy any baby stuff while I was pregnant or now that he's born but he tells people left, right and center how he's a dad and he has a little boy which makes me want to gag everytime i hear it lol. He's seen my son twice since we've been home from the hospital, the third time my son would have been exactly a week old and my ex just didn't show. When confronted I was told if I wasn't such a bitch maybe he would come around haha. I haven't spoken to him since April and that's the way I want it to stay. If he can't handle being 100% in his childs life that's his own problem. He made his choice so he can stick to it because I won't let him be in and out as he pleases. I wouldn't worry about your daughter blaming you. My suggestion is always be honest with her. If she asks questions tell her, you don't have to tell her in too much detail if she is still too young but within reason. If she knows pretty much what went on what will she have to blame you for? Just remind yourself he is the one missing out in the end!

Angela - posted on 07/04/2010

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I was a teenage mother 22 years ago. Teen fathers only think about how this baby will affect their lives and not how the baby will affect both the mother & father's life. You can't make a man be a father to his child. You just have to be the best mother you can be to your child. It doesn't get any better by calling & texting him; if he wants to be in his child life he will do what needs to be done. Just pray to God that God will be in your life and God will take care of you. I'm single again & I now have 5 kids and 1 grandson. God has taking care of me and my children. I have a good job, buying my own home and doing my hardest to be the best mom I can be. I hope it gets better for you and your child.

Courtney - posted on 07/03/2010

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Wow, I can't believe how many single mother are out there. I don't understand why men can't take responsibility for their actions. We didn't climb on top of ourselves and get ourselves pregnant! But, you all are right. If he is going to be how he is, then she is so much better without him in her life. I just hope that she doesn't grow up and blame me for it. He was the one who walked away, I tried to get him to stay :(

Amanda - posted on 07/03/2010

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aww thats sad im sorry to hear that. your baby doesnt deserve that though. im a 19 year old single mother myself. the father is not in her life because he is in jail.

Amanda - posted on 07/03/2010

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im a single mom i had my daughter at 16 n her bio dad only stayed around long enough to figure out he didnt want to be a dad n iv been single mom since. he hasnt seen my daughter since the day he walked away which was 3 years ago... but i did want i had to n took care of my child it was hard but i feel like im a stronger person for doin it. Now i have a boyfriend who loves me n my daughter n hes like a father to her.. more that her bio dad ever was

Raeleigh - posted on 07/02/2010

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I am 20 yrs old with a 2 yr old and a 8 month old...but my kids dad is around...lol

Ashley - posted on 07/02/2010

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hey hun, well i'm 21 now with 2 kids to 2 different fathers, my oldest boy is 2 now and his father has seen him twice once when he was 6 weeks and then again 2 months after his first birthday, he wanted dna done which was fine but then he said if baby is his he wants his last name changed to his when i said no he disappeared, my youngest is 3 1/2 months when i found out i was pregnant his dad was happy and wanting to keep him soon after i found out he had a 4month pregnant girlfriend. he's apparently going to pay child support but i haven't seen a cent and he hasn't bothered to come and see baby even though he visits his parents who live a 2 min walk from me...the way i see it is its their losts...my kids are better off not knowing them...

Katelyn - posted on 07/02/2010

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I am a 17 year old teenage mother.
My baby-daddy isn't in my daughter's life.
He was in her life for the first few months of her life and then I asked him to buy a pack of diapers for her and now he denies her.

Courtney - posted on 07/02/2010

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KATRINA- He is not on the birth certificate, I wanted to see if he would take the steps to be in her life, but has not He doesn't pay child support, and he doesn't even help me buy her diapers or formula. I try to invite him to see her, but apparently he has better things to do. SHELBY- That's exactly how her father is. He tells me he wants to be a good father and wants to help support us, yet...he always seems to be doing something other than that. I've pretty much given up and I am going to start ignoring his calls and texts just like he does me.

Shelby - posted on 07/02/2010

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I myself am in a very similar sitchuation with m daughters father also. We had broken up before finding out I was pregnant didn't talk for the first 8 months of my pregnancy, but he started talking to me and I tried to do the right thing and let him be the father he wanted to be but it seems he only wants to be a father when it's convient.He's only seen her twice and would rather be out with his friends being dumb I cannot say why he is that way,but it feels good to know i'm not alone

Katrina - posted on 07/02/2010

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Heyy,, I Cant Really Say Much As Im Not A Single Mum :) I Was 15 When I Had My Daughter And Still With The Dad Now. But All I Can Say Is That If He Doesnt Really Want To Be A Role Model To Your Daughter Then As Long As He Is Paying His Way Towards Your Daughter Then You Havnt Really Got Anything To Worry About :) But At Least Get Him To See Her twice A Week. Hope Everything Goes Well For You :) x

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