So I want to be a teen mom. I'm only 13. Is what I want stupid?

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[deleted account]

Uhm. . . If im gonna be completely straight up then yes. Wanting a baby isnt stupid. Wanting a baby at 13 is. Can i ask you why you have a want/need for a baby right now at such a young age?? Do you know about everything that comes with having a baby? Like do you know what happens to your body? Do you know about labor and delivery?? Do you know how much it costs to have a baby? Are you prepared to continue going to school and take care of an infant? How are you gonna get a job? How are you gonna provde the simple nessecities such as diapers, and wipes? Bottles if you dont intend to breastfeed? Have u thought about if you would breastfeed or will you just formula feed? If you breast feed how are you gonna do that and go school? Are you even still going to go to school? Do you have a good support group? Or will you just be having a baby so that your parent(s) can take on the responsibility??



Please chat with me and let me know whats going on in your head why you are thinking that you want to be a teen mom? Or is it that you are already pregnant?? Please either talk to me or even someone close to you that had kids. Its hard to raise a child and once you are pregnant you can never take it back. I want to help u so please let me

-Maria

[deleted account]

Well if you really want this you should do it the right way.

step 1- get married, studies show children are much healthier in married families with two parents.

step 2- finish school. you don't want to be a mother without a good education.

step 3- finish growing physically. ladies who get pregnant before they're done growing put themselves and the health of the babies at high risks for defect and other serious health problems.

step 4- get a home. you'll need one of these, renting is okay too, but it should be your home.

step 5- call an ob/gyn. you'll need advice about which vitamins to take and appointments to set up.

step 6- get a car. you'll need one to take yourself and your baby to well baby check-ups.

if after you get all these things in order you are still somehow 13 then I'd say go for it... you'd be the most prepared 13 year old I've ever heard of.

Vicki - posted on 06/09/2011

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13? wow.

I was 18 when I got pregnant (it wasn't planned) but we were happy about it and I've now got a beautiful two year old.

Thing is, whilst babies are lovely and cute, they grow up and with that comes great finical challenges as well as the worry and responsibility of this little person.

I'm now 21 and love being a mummy, but given the chance to go back to being 18, I would deffo have waited before becoming a mummy.

I no longer get to go out whenever I feel, my social life is virtually non existent and my time is all spent being a mum. It's not a game where you can just pass your child back when you get bored, it is a lifetime commitment.

Wanting a baby is natural but wanting it at such a young age is not really ideal. Nobody tells you what to do when the baby wont stop screaming, or wont eat and they do not come with a manual or instructions.

Please live your life first, finish school, go to parties, go to College/uni and then when you are more stable, and at a mature enough age, think then about becoming a mum xxx

Melissa - posted on 06/16/2011

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Ok, I'm going to be realistic with you. At 13 years of age, you can't legally consent to sex, so if you do get pregnant, they're going to go after the father of the child. If he is also under 16 (the age of legal consent) DCF will likely get involved and cause a lot of issues in your family as well as the family of the father of your child.



At 13 years of age, you can't legally work. Who will financially support your child? We're bargain shoppers in my family, so I'm going to tell you how much we spend only on my son every month: diapers, $80, wipes, $32, clothing, $50 (and yes, you will need to buy clothes constantly, especially in their first couple of years children grow VERY quickly), food, $200. Then you have to consider all of the things a baby requires: a crib (even a used one will run you at least a couple hundred dollars, any cheaper and it's likely to be in poor condition and be a danger to your baby), a stroller which is at least $150 for a good one that will last, a carseat is about $150, and it's only good for about a year, then you'll need a bigger one. Then you'll also need a medicine kit in case the baby gets sick, a baby bath, baby toys, so on and so forth.



At 13 years of age you can't legally drive or have your license. Even in the first year of having your license there are a LOT of restrictions on who you can drive with. Who would be the one to drive you to all of your doctors appointments while pregnant? What about after the baby is born? The first year of a babies life involves several doctors appointments; check ups, immunizations, so on and so forth. Who would be paying for the gas to get you to and from these doctors appointments?



Then, once the baby comes, who will be paying for the delivery? Insurance doesn't always cover everything. Here's a general run down of costs. They're not exact, just an average from hospitals across the country:

Maternity (all of your check ups) ---- 3420.00

Private room (a shared room is not much cheaper, and really, after having a baby, you'll want your own room) --- 1456.00

Ancillaries (A person whose work provides necessary support to the primary activities of an organization, institution, or industry, they're active and present in every hospital and you will be charged for it) --1527.89

Lab (every pregnancy requires blood work MANY times from the time you get pregnant to the time you deliver. This is the cost just from delivery blood work) --521.00

Anesthesia (If you get an epidural, or a spinal in the case of a c-section) --342.00

Operating room (if you get a c-section) --3732.72



I'll also point out, your body still has a LOT of growing to do, so if you were to get pregnant you would require a LOT more medical attention than if you waited until you were older. You would need a much stricter diet, and a lot more nutritional suppliments to keep your body AND your babies body healthy and properly growing. Teens are more likely to deliver pre-term, have children with low birth weight, and have children that require time in the NICU. Premature delivery and low birth weight can lead to other issues such as impared brain development and physical disabilities. Because of the potential issues associated with teen pregnancy (especially a younger teen such as yourself) c-sections are done a lot more. Children born via c-section have a higher risk of respiratory issues.



Not to mention that after the baby does arrive, babies wake up every 2 hours on average to eat. Some babies have difficulties eating in the beginning, so it can be a struggle for both of you once feeding time comes. Do you think you could handle waking up at 11pm, feeding until possibly midnight, sleeping until 2, feeding until possible 3, sleeping until 5, feeding until possibly 6, so on and so forth? And that's assuming the baby falls back asleep after eating! What if (s)he is gassy? Collicy? Or, sometimes babies just need to cry - it's how they exercise their vocal cords. Could you handle having a baby crying non-stopped for hours on end? Because believe, me, it does happen. Do you think it would be fair to your parent(s) to expect them to lose sleep due to a baby crying all night? They have jobs that they need to be rested for, they can't be losing sleep over a baby that isn't theirs. Also, would you breastfeed or bottle feed? Do you know the benefits of either? Do you know there are BIG differences in both? What would you do about school? Childcare? A large number of teens who do have children, unfortunately don't finish their schooling. Childcare is also a very scary world - do you really know when you can trust someone?



Are you prepared to no longer be allowed to attend slumber parties? Who would be keeping your baby overnight? And it's really not fair to expect your friends who are still enjoying THEIR childhood to accomodate your baby. As mean as it sounds, people who don't have children don't really want other peoples babies around all the time. It will cause a lot of your friendships to fade. No one wants them to, and no one expects them to, but you'll have different priorities than your friends, and it'll be sure to happen. What about dances? Who would be watching your baby for you to go to school dances? Parties? It's not really fair to expect your parent(s) to take on that responsibility - they already had their children, they handled their responsibilities, if you have a baby, YOU are responsible for watching and caring for them.



Having a baby is a wonderful, life changing event. But honey, 13 is FAR too young to worry about bringing a baby into the world. When I was your age I felt I could have handled having a baby, too. I had my first when I was a month shy of 24, and I am SO GRATEFUL that I waited. It is a LOT of work, it is a HUGE responsibility, it is EXHAUSTING. And as wonderful as it all really is, it wouldn't be nearly as wonderful if I weren't financially stable, and established in my own home with a family of my own. Please, please wait. Do not rush your childhood.

Toni - posted on 02/06/2012

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All I have to say is, If you are even reading these comments, You are a very selfish person if you truely want a baby so young.

You have no way to support yourself, let alone a baby, so you must expect the government or your parents to support the baby.

Yes, I had a baby young, I was 17, but I was renting my own house, I had a job, and I was in a stable relationship. That was 4 years ago and now I have saved the money to buy a house and I am still with the babies father, we are about to get married.

Having a baby will take up your energy, money and patience for the rest of your life. Dont be stupid and think that it stops when your child is 18.

What did you expect us to say? Go for it! Having a kid is great fun!? No. Not going to happen. At your age you shouldnt even be thinking about sex.

Im done with my rant now.

I am going to close this post to futher comments as it is not worth our time to try to talk you out of being a moron.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

177 Comments

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Renee - posted on 02/04/2012

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I hope you are joking here because at 13 you barely have gotten over boys having cooties!

User - posted on 02/01/2012

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If you want to be a mom at 13 its you call, and your likely not really going to listen to what any one else has to say. HOWEVER you should know if you become a mom at 13 you will have social services at your door ever month for 5 years doing monthly check ins to see that you are a fit mother. You will be unable to got party drinking ect. You will need to be smoke and drug free.

Also you will get stretch marks from your mid thigh to above your belly button that will never go away. Meaning no more bikins.

Ultimately its your call,

However bear in mind that if you screw up just once child serves will take the baby you have learned to love away from you and you will be left broken hearted. A 15 year old girl I know had it happen to her.

Katherine - posted on 02/01/2012

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lol really your13 and on here why- do you already have a baby. 13 really- grow up then consider on having a baby.

Kathy - posted on 01/29/2012

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YES IT IS ! BEING A TEEN MOM IS NOT GLAMOROUS LIKE THE TV PORTRAYS IT !! Do not do it you have plenty of time to have a baby and you are WAY too young!

Mom2Be - posted on 01/25/2012

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Honey wanting a baby is fiine but not at the age of 13. You're still a child and you have a lot to look forward to. Having a baby at 13 wil make you grow up faster than what you should. I'm a soon-to-be teen mother but at the age of 13 the thought of a baby never crossed my mind. My advice to you would be to wait.

Heaven - posted on 01/24/2012

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im not even ganna be as nice as some of the people on here! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE! are you crazy? you shouldnt even be having sex. its ridiculous that some people are taking this so lightly! i cant believe some of you! if you were my child id have you put on a birthcontrol immedietly! because in this case, your parents would be raising your child, you cant even legally get a job to raise this child, it takes alot more than love to raise a child! so pretty much what you would be doing is putting a burden on your parents because they would be raising you & some other little boys baby, because you were to insensitive to realize that you cant raise your on child. & do you understand what medical issues could happen to you because of you being so young & having a child? i myself have a child, not by decision. I was 17 when i had my son, he is now 2 1/2 & his father is in the picture, but with both of us working, he works anywhere for 40-80 hrs a week & i only work a few days a week. i am also in school to become a obgyn. there is absolutely no time for us to go hang out with friends. I actually have NO friends, the only people i communicate with is our family. all of my friends were excited for me having my child during the pregnancy & i could still hang out without alot of chaos, but once i had my son & he was crying every 2 hrs to eat, or sick & crying all day long because he didnt feel good. its alot to give up to become a parent as a teen & for your age, your not even a full teenager yet, have you even had your period for more than a year or two? i mean aare you even through puberty yet?

Leanne Jones - posted on 01/24/2012

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yes, im 16 and i wish i left it a lil bit longer but ill never regret being pregnant, im 21 weeks gone and im loving every moment, if you want whats best for your baby you will leave it till your older at least 16, because im struggling myself and my lil girl is not even here yet, youll have everyone on your back, if you want a baby, and you love him/her you wait a while longer so you can give that baby everything ...hope you make the right choice

Ruth - posted on 01/23/2012

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its not stupid to want a child @ a young age but trust me hun u dont want a child @ 13yrs old have some fun explore the world a bit as u got plenty of time. i had a child @ 13 by accident and i regret it dont regret haveing my child but wish i had him @ an older age, as @ 13 i was a kid myself didnt reali have a clue how to look after a child let alone a child of my own. just go have fun give it some time wait til ur older hun x

Samantha - posted on 01/22/2012

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I will ask the very oblivous, are you stupid? Being a parent when you're only in middle school is highly stupid. Your life hasn't even started out yet and you want to ruin it by living the image of a parent. Being a parent is not like owning a pet. You can't just give it to someone else, though technically adoption is an option, or get rid of it. There would be the emotional side to deal with. Other parents on here are right about the medical aspect. Your body is NOT ready for it. Plus once you enter high school, how would you feel to have your classmates calling you a slut, hoe, shank, etc, because of this action? You are opening yourself and that child to a world of hardship.

Nkechinyere - posted on 01/21/2012

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Did u not watch Teen Moms, it's hell. Even some of them manage 2 stay wit their partners but if u notice, they never look HAPPY!! I mean, they are even older than u n I am over 25 with a Nursing Degree and I'm also married 2 the man of my dreams and it's still F'in hard as hell. I have 1 son whose 18 months and another on the way and I still don't know how ppl do it on their own. Your not even close 2 my age and u want a kid??? Yes, that's the dumbest idea ever. Know this... when a baby is brought into this world, U don't matter anymore. The baby is always 1st now. Watch Maury Show or talk to other Teens, hold their babies. C if u can really handle this cause I bet anything, u will change ur mind. Being a parent is the best thing in the world but u have 2 b READY!!!!!

Sheree - posted on 01/16/2012

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You want to be a teen mom at 13. I would like to know why at this age sweetie? Are you lonely, not feeling loved by your family? Being a Mother is a full time job times 2. It may look simple on MTV but it is not. Babies are cute and cuddly but they do grow up to become young children, then young adults, then teenagers just like yourself. Not to mention doctors visits, they grow out of clothes,shoes every year. It cost money to be a mom have you thought about how you are going to take care of yourself and a child too? That would be a selfish decision and are you really ready to put your life on hold, your future on hold, your allowance on hold, your friends on hold for your baby? That is what happens when you become and mother. You sacrifice and be selfless, not selfish out of love for your child.

Andrea - posted on 01/16/2012

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This is normal, you're 13 you probably JUST ran into your hormones and they are in full swing. I remember these feelings that you are having, and let's be honest if you're thinking at all about having a baby the thing you must be thinking about is sex. It's completely normal as far as i'm concerned like I said because of the hormones. If you're 13 and you are thinking about or are having sex that is a crime for whoever involved and possible for yourself, not sure where you live but in the state I live in, any acts commited by a minor with a minor is still deemed against the law, depending on the circumstance though, the responsibility may or may not fall on you but for sure it will fall on your parents in some way. Very possibly you may be removed from your parents home, placed in state custody and you may never have a chance to keep your baby. Be very careful is my advice. There are many many years for you to have children and or explore the feelings you are feeling right now.

Krista - posted on 01/15/2012

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VERY yes! Not only will it ruin your life... it could kill you. Having a baby that young is EXTREMELY dangerous. Google it... having a baby that young could literally kill you during labor... if it doesnt, we are talking about uteran cancer in the future etc..



A 13 year cannot be a good mom. Babies arent about dressing them up pretty and playing with them.



See a therapist my dear.. Your craving love from the wrong place.

Leah - posted on 01/15/2012

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honestly 13 is very young for a baby i wasnt even thinking of sex at that age lol. i was 16 when i planned for a baby and i dont regret it i love been a mum im now 20 and i have 2 children 3 and half other 5 months old but i also had a partner who can support us completely as in money wise and there to help with the kids when i need it. i would probley babysit for now see how you can go maybe wait a couple more yrs also your partner must be on the same page wanting a baby to and you must have a strong relationship cause a baby can tear relationship apart if one is not ready or the relationship is not strong. you have to remember having a baby takes up all your time ruins ur body its may seem real easy watching other people do it but you have to to emotionally and physically ready for a baby.

Leah - posted on 01/15/2012

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honestly 13 is very young for a baby i wasnt even thinking of sex at that age lol. i was 16 when i planned for a baby and i dont regret it i love been a mum im now 20 and i have 2 children 3 and half other 5 months old but i also had a partner who can support us completely as in money wise and there to help with the kids when i need it. i would probley babysit for now see how you can go maybe wait a couple more yrs also your partner must be on the same page wanting a baby to and you must have a strong relationship cause a baby can tear relationship apart if one is not ready or the relationship is not strong. you have to remember having a baby takes up all your time ruins ur body its may seem real easy watching other people do it but you have to to emotionally and physically ready for a baby.

Robynne - posted on 01/12/2012

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not stupid, I can understand the desire to want to mother a little baby. But I would reccomend that you wait. Having a baby is not like playing doll, it sky-rockets you into adulthood at an alarming rate. at 13 you may think you have the maturity and wisdom to deal with all the things parenthood throws at you, but I can assure you, I struggle at 29! :-) The responsibilty is absolutely overwhelming at times, and the financial burden is immense. Allow yourself the time to grow up so that you can be a good mom to your kids one day, I can assure you, you are not yet equipped to be that just yet.

Terri - posted on 01/11/2012

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It is an extremely selfish thought. It also shows the lack of maturity which is required to raise a baby. By toying with this thought, you are showing you are too young to make responsible choices for yourself much less for a completely dependent infant. Babies are not cabbage patch dolls you can lay down and leave on the shelf when you want to go out to the mall. They are human beings that deserve a mother and father in a loving environment. There are already too many problems we will face in life, putting a child into a life with an unwedded single-teen parent, is about the least loving thing someone could do to another. Wait until you have matured, gotten married, settled down into a life and THEN consider children. This is the best situation for any child to be brought into and it shows that you are willing to put your child first in providing them the best scenario you can for them.

Steph - posted on 01/11/2012

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I think you know the answer to this... That's why you posted the question.

Genuinely falling pregnant by accident is one thing, doing it on purpose (and saying it was an "accident" is something else all together.

Remember it's a good idea to have a supportive partner who wants the same thing, don't trick him into getting you up the duff!!

Jesy - posted on 01/11/2012

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YES! That is CRAZY! Being a mom is the best thing in the world but wait until the time is right! You want to be in a solid, loving, secure marriage. You want to be financially stable. I know you think you are mature now. But honey, you are not yet there. Parenthood is sooo much work. You really have no idea until you are doing it. Do your future child a favor and wait!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!

[deleted account]

Not so much stupid as a not well thought out plan. I had my daughter when I was 17 and a junior in high school. It did not go well, though I had a hand in taking care of my younger siblings I had no idea what having full responsibility of a baby was all about. I had no support from my family and back then (28 years ago) there were very few support programs for teen mothers. In the end it was up to me, I didn't get to go back and finish my senior year settling for a GED instead. I didn't get to college until about 10 years ago, finally landing a really great job just this past year. Worst of all, I lost custody of my daughter through no other fault but my own when she was five. I just was not prepared for the reality of being a mother.



So much more than dressing babies up in the cutest clothes, showing off to your friends that you get to stay out of school, do what you want, maybe even having your own place away from your parents for the first time. It isn't a Lifetime movie where somehow everything works out in the end, sometimes it doesn't. It is an awesome responsibility that you cannot turn away from and you will never forget. Your life will change forever. Adulthood will happen soon enough, don't usher in this new phase of your life ill prepared. Having a child includes feeding, clothing, and diapering the kid. As well as making sure there is a safe place to live, lights, heat, phone, healthy and appropriate childcare, etc. It is expensive and time consuming. Good luck and take care.

Zipporah - posted on 01/11/2012

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Babies are a lot of work and very fun at the same time. I would say wait. Having a baby is a big deal. You need to have patience and money they are not cheap. You have your whole life in front of you and a lot of time to have babies later in life. I had my first at 16 and it is harder then you think.

Kayla - posted on 01/11/2012

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Katalena, I'm gonna put this plain and simple. If you have to ask if becoming a teen mom at 13 is stupid then yes it is hun. Let me put it another way as well. If you have to ask permission to do ANYTHING including having a child, then you're not ready for a baby sweetie.

Kayla - posted on 01/11/2012

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Katalena, I'm gonna put this plain and simple. If you have to ask if becoming a teen mom at 13 is stupid then yes it is hun. Let me put it another way as well. If you have to ask permission to do ANYTHING including having a child, then you're not ready for a baby sweetie.

Brittany - posted on 01/07/2012

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i had my daughter when I was 18 and i love her and i absolutely adore being a mom but in all reality its very hard. I feel like im missing out on things that i wish i could still do. I personally think you should enjoy being young and don't rush into being grown like I did. My daughter wasn't planned but we always talked about kids and didn't prevent it. I still get sad sometimes wishing i could go out with friends, my daughter is only 7 months now. It may seem great and it is but in reality it is very difficult. I really think you should wait.

Traci - posted on 01/05/2012

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Oh hunny. You need to be a kid. Enjoy your friends, babysit for others children, get your education, find yourself. I got pregnant when I was 17 and I love my son more than anything in the world. I wouldn't change things now, but I do wish I would have waited. I have a great job, but I do not have the degree I wish to have. Slow down, enjoy life right now.

Liz - posted on 09/07/2011

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Angela, why did you not report him ? You know he could be charged with rape...you are way under the age of consent, which is another reason you do not need a child at 13. You are under the age of consent, and the person who raped you is a pervert. If this really happened, you need to tell someone, someone needs to interceede and take that pervert to task and to the police. What he did is against the law. And Brandi if you do become pregnant at the age of 13, the person who makes you pregnant could be arrested and charged with rape, and he could be forced to register as a sexual prediator. That is the reality, you are not going to have a happy ever after life, you will have a life that will be hard, depressing, and just lonely. Boys, because real men don't just get a woman pregnant and leave them to raise the baby on her own, will leave you high and dry and you will be not only responsilbe for yourself but for the baby. Real men won't get a 13 year old girl pregnant, they will wait for the woman that they want to raise the baby with, make a committement with her, and be a part of the families life so the baby can grow up with dignity, love and respect. So Angela, contact the police if you were raped, and Brandi get some help, don't get pregnant and go to school and become a real woman who is confident and self respecting so her child can be proud of her. I have said my peace, as a mother, as an Aunt who has watched this happen to a niece of mine,and as a woman.

BRITTANY - posted on 09/07/2011

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Absolutely! Pregnancy and raising a baby is NOT easy...you are a child yourself. I got pregnant when I was 19 and I was (and still am estatic) however, it has been a ride like I could have never imagined. From the lack of support from the father...to realizing MY life is over and that I am forever #2. Its ALOT to digest when your a teenager. Enjoy your own life and get yourself established...a career, education, & stable relationship... before you bring a little one into it.

Nicole - posted on 09/04/2011

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I'm going to be straight up with you like everyone else that has given you advice in this thread. What you feel right now, i felt at your age. I wanted a baby really bad and didn't care that I was 13. Thus resulted in me becoming pregnant at 15. I am now a mother of two and I can honestly tell you doll, wait. Wait till you are done highschool and have a good stable job. It's horrible to have no money and try and raise a child. So, just wait on it : )

Mariah - posted on 09/03/2011

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yes u r lol its not funny but girl u don't need 1 it only gets harder trust me i have 2 n its soooooooooo hard

Liz - posted on 08/31/2011

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yes. my sister-in-law had her first child at age 15, and even though she loves her children(now she has 3 and 3 steps) she looks back and says"what was I thinking". She missed out on going to college,prom, all sorts of things that she saw her friends doing and could not do because she was a mommy. She dropped out of school, went to work, had issues with the fathers of her children,and now she looks back and says "what was I thinking?" and it is just not her, but my mother and father-in-law have blamed themselves also. It is just not your life, it is the entire families lives, that you distrupt. Any child will be loved and welcomed, at least in our family, but with a little bit of sorrow. So don't do it.saying this is a mom of 5 who is in her 50's.

Alicia - posted on 08/30/2011

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there are things you dont realize about having babies. labors can be long, 36 hours was how long mine was. the fact that you only get to sleep 5 hours a night, and no more than 2 hours at a time, for atleast a month. some kids dont sleep thru the night til they a year old. babies want to be held, a lot. formula:we were paying 23 dollars every 3 days just for food for a whole year! diapers: 43 dollars every 2 weeks to a month, for atleast 2 years. my daughters 2 and im still buying diapers. not to mention all the basics: crib, dresser, clothes, swing, carseat, a car to get to the multiple drs appts the first year. there are days you dont get to eat because you just dont have time, or youre so focused on your baby you forget. and dont even get me started on tired babies, collic babies, acid reflux, and sick babies. youre too young!! you cant legally drive, you cant legally work. and you would be throwing your education right down the toilet. you want to be grown up? make a grown up decision now to get your life in order before having children. theyre not toys! i was 19 when my daughter was born, i was married, able to stay home and not have to work, and my husband makes plenty of money. CHILDREN ARE A STRUGGLE!!!

Kathy - posted on 08/30/2011

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I can see you're getting thousands of admonishing replies, so I won't go there - but please realize being a mom at any age is a full time job. You may think its better than school or you could possibly even think it wouldn't effect school. Trust me for both answers yes, everything will change if you get pregnant and even more change if you have the baby. My mom had my older sister at age 15 and me at age 16. I am lucky because mom was able to get married before she had my sister and was a married woman when she had me. I am not sure what your situation is - but remember it is careful to consider all aspects of your situation and know it takes a good support system to raise a child, either a husband or a loving family. THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Teresa - posted on 08/30/2011

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Hi Katalena, It obviously has been on your mind for a while for you to post the question on here, just like to say I am not here to judge you and tell you what you are thinking is wrong, its actually very normal and young adults like you often feel they would like to become a mom. However before you make any decsions why not talk it through with someone you really trust who may be a lttle older than you? or maybe someone you know who is already a teen mom? I am here anytime if you want to send a message and we can talk it through and see what your other options may be? You sound like a very sensible person who is trying to make the right choice and be happy I hope you will share what you are feeling and let someone help you to do just that. Keep in touch, and let me know how it all goes.

Mary - posted on 08/27/2011

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im not gonna call u stupid. its natural for girls to want babies. its part of what make us female. but i will tell u this. i had my first baby at 16. it as very hard and difficult what we have to go thru. me and her dad are both in school so we often times feel bad that we dont have lots of time to spend with her or money like we would if we wouldnt have gotten pregnant at young age. my best advise it to wait til you are older

Kelsey - posted on 08/27/2011

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Yes...you sure have got some attention here with all the post. If this were a poll, I think you have a pretty good idea where your question would stand.

Lilliana - posted on 08/27/2011

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You've been flooded with opinions.

Look, I get it. I've always wanted babies! For as long as I can remember.

You know what the most important part of being a mom is? Putting your baby first. So before you even conceive a baby, consider this-
Can you give a baby THE BEST life?
Can you provide everything your baby needs?

Doctors say your body isn't mature enough to carry a perfectly healthy baby until 19, because until then you are still growing also!

I'm praying for you sweet girl.

Kelsey - posted on 08/24/2011

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IT IS NOT STUPID TO GET PREGNANT, BUT it is to get pregnant at your age. you should seek some professional help in weighing out your decision......

Angel - posted on 08/23/2011

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if you decide to get pregnant at 13 years old then you will have to get use to sleepless nights,getting up every 3 4 hours to feed and change the baby and losing your teenage life.

Angel - posted on 08/23/2011

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i'm sure your tired of hearing this but wanting to have a baby isn't stupid but wanting to be a mom at 13 is..it's not easy being a young parent..you'll have to give up school,going out,hanging out with friends and buying yourself things..once you get pregnant it will no longer be about you.it will be about the baby..i'm not here too nag you or gang up on you but wanting a baby at 13 years old isn't the smartest thing to do when your just a baby yourself! if you got pregnant at this age i can tell you right now that the guy that got you pregnant won't stick around to help you..and if you think that getting pregnant will make a guy you like to stick around then your wrong..your only 13 years old my dear kids should be the last thing on your mind..go to school get your education and be a kid!

Cherie - posted on 08/23/2011

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Katalena, it's not stupid to want to be a teen mom it just shows your immaturity. My advice is be a kid. Enjoy playing with barbies, riding bikes, going out with friends. There is so much of life ahead of you and children are a responsibility that will take away your childhood. TV shows glamorize the idea of being a teen mom but the truth is it limits your life. You have to be responsible for another person. First be responsible for yourself. Love yourself, respect yourself. There is all of the time in the world to give your love to a child. Do things in order; grow up, find out what you need in life to be a responsible adult, find a mate, and then plan your lives (you and your mate) together, and then bring a child into the world with two adult people to care for him/her.
Be patient. Adulthood with adult responsibilities and adult privileges will come soon enough.

Doreen - posted on 08/20/2011

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Katalena, in all actuality it is a very stupid thing to only be 13 and want to have a child. My daughter was 16 when she got pregnant and 17 when she had my grandson. She is now 21 and he is almost 4. There are times now that she wishes she could have changed what she did. When you are young and have a child your entire life changes. You will have to give up life as you know it. You won't be able to hang out with your friends and do what ever you do know.

You also have to think about your parents or parent. It also would not be fair to the if you were to have a child at such a young age. It is a financial burden to them. Not only will they have to pay for all of your doctor appointments, they will also have to pay for the birth of your child. Also at a young age you are unable to get a job and support your self and a baby. Children, which you are, do not take into consideration the cost of raising a child. The birth alone could cost up to $10,000. Do you think it would be fair to your parents for the to have to pay this amount for you to have a child? Also there are a lot of BABY DADDY'S in the world that DO NOT pay for their children. Don't become a statistic. If you do get pregnant at such a young age, even if you consent to having sex, it is considered rape. Then where would you be? Your baby daddy would be in jail or prison and become a sexual predator and have to spend time registering with what every county he lives in so often. Depending on the tier of sexual offense it may be for the rest of his life.

Think long and hard about making such a grown decision at such a young age. You may know what you want to do in the future, but you won't be able to do that very easy with a baby.

Sam - posted on 08/17/2011

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my dear Katalena, from one women to another.Any female can be a mom,but to be a mother is entirely a different story.You need to understand what unconditional love is,wisdom to make the right decision and the understanding of what responsibilities come with being a parent. With that all said , i think a shopping spree with your good friends,will do you the world of good.Your time to bring babies into the world will come soon enough.For know enjoy yourself.

Beverly - posted on 08/16/2011

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Yes. How can someone who still needs a mom herself be ready in any way to be a mom? You have absolutely no idea what it takes. Grow up, graduate from school, find someone who's ready to take on that responsibility with you, and then, JUST MAYBE, you may be ready to think about becoming a mom.

Alisha - posted on 08/11/2011

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I think that you are having a fantasy of what having a baby will be like. Yes they are adorable and amazing, but they also take thousands of dollars every year, all of your time and careful planning for where they will be taken care of when you are in school/work etc. There really is nothing good about being a teen mom unless you happen to be married to a stable man who wants to be there for you. I think that at your age it would be awesome for you to get practice, you can babysit and volunteer to tutor children or work at an orphaniage with children who need attention. You will definitely want to give your baby the best life, so wait until you are with someone you can depend on when things get difficult. You need to figure out your life and grow up, then get married and have all the babies you want! I got pregnant at 18 and my daughter is amazing but it's not the life I want for her, having to explain why her dad isn't around much, why I am not with him and why she doesn't have a regular family. Be careful what type of family you bring children into because your decisions now are going to affect generations to come because that one little baby will have a family of his or her own and implement what a family is onto those generations. Seriously, people will be affected by your decisions, so please make them wisely. Not to mention you and your whole family now will be greatly stressed and negatively affected if you have a baby. I work at a pregnancy crisis center, and I see all of the young girls, it's not easy at all. Try setting your alarm for every hour or two, change a diaper and feed a baby then waking up early, getting both of you ready so you can finish school and your baby can go to daycare. Daycare is on average $160 per week for an infant and you have to provide diapers, formula/breastmilk, wipes, baby food. How will you provide basic needs for your baby to survive if you can't get a work permit to have a job?

Heather - posted on 08/09/2011

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Its not stupid but sweet, but please rethink it i got pregnant at 15 and im 17 know with a 11month old son, i was excited but its really hard, i droped out of school and im a stay at home mom, my husband works all the time. i mean i would not change a thing bec my son is my world and i love him so much, but while ur still young have fun and go to school then once you KNOW yu are ready to have a baby have a baby. i always up for a chat so hit me up.

Tania - posted on 08/09/2011

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I was like you always wanted a baby at a young age..... I have always loved wee babies , but then these wee babies grow up LOL , Its not all fun and games like i thought it would be , but in saying that it is rewarding. . I misscarried at 14 and again at 17 ....had my first baby at 20 . Everything happens for a reason . But when I look back now im glad that it happened they way it did. I feel i was far to young...wait a few years . Why dont you focus on school , and start buying things for when u go flating .Get after school job.By the time u finish school at 18 you should have everything. Then once ur in a place of ur own, and in a relationship then think about it.

Jessica - posted on 08/09/2011

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no one can stop you, im 16 with a 12 month old, i wouldnt change him for the world, i adore him but its not easy.. just think about it long and hard.

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