So I want to be a teen mom. I'm only 13. Is what I want stupid?
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Karalyn - posted on 06/14/2011
When I was your age, I wanted a baby aswell. But I knew I had to meet someone that shared my same views, and I had to finish school first. I got pregnant about 2 years after I graduated highschool. Just wait until your finished school first. And really think if having baby now is the best not only for you but your future child. Its not going to be as easy as you think!
Coley - posted on 06/14/2011
Hi, Im an wrting as a teen mum myself, although i was 17 with my first child i am now 22 and have two children. I can tell you it is extremely hard doing it at such a young age you lose alot of your friends as they are living their lives as children/teenagers. Being a mum is the most rewarding thing i could have ever done but i also know i should have waited. 13 is stil very young live your life and find that special someone, as you could have a child now and in a few years down the line you and your baby will be alone and im sure you dont want that. It is stupid what you want but i strongly suggest you wait being a mum isnt easy xx
Brittany - posted on 06/13/2011
I don't think its stupid but I will definitely be a challenge. You can't live your life the same way you do now. Its hard, really hard. People don't think about being up every 2 he's that first week. Some people even give up. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but just think about it do you really want to give up your teenage years?
Melissa - posted on 06/13/2011
yes. no other way to put it, but please please think about this, because it is much harder then you think. You may think you are ready a 30 yr old may think their ready but no one is ready for motherhood so can you imagine how is is for people your age who are still developing themselves. You dont have the maturity yet, your not developed enough hun. Please think about this. This is coming from someone who started wanting a baby at your age and who was trying for baby soon as I got a serious bf at 16 and conceived at 18 I am married with 2 children now at 22 but I can tell you that , the way I was with my first child was a direct result of being a young mother (along with some other issues she had) I knew nothing about it I was so unprepared. Please listen to me.
Tina - posted on 06/13/2011
definately wait if you want something bad enough it's worth waiting for. Being a mum isn't easy at any age. Enjoy being young while you can it only comes once and you never get it back again. If you really like kids try doing child studies or baby sitting. Atleast you can give them back. With you own it they cry, are sick teething, grumpy poop and whatever you just have to deal with it there no one to hand it back too. If you like sleeping that's something you'll really miss. You sleep when baby sleeps. And just when you think you can relax and put you're feet up chances are that's when they play up. I'd just wait.
Chelsea - posted on 06/12/2011
I had Sarah when I was a teen. Her father wants nothing to do with her and my mother is constantly wanting to take her from me. I live another state from my mother and have to work at a hotel and random odd jobs to provide for her. I am lucky only in that I met a family who allow me to live in their guesthouse rent free as long as I clean for them. Please wait until you have a good job and are able to support a baby.
Kristen - posted on 06/12/2011
Honestly yes! How will you provide for that baby when you are just a baby yourself? I was 17 when i got pregnant and thankfully my babies father, my now husband, decided to stay in the picture and work 2 jobs and we were barely getting by with that. He did that until he joined the army. I am now 20 with 2 children, a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Please wait.
Alison - posted on 06/12/2011
Sorry but yes,your just a baby uself do u have any clue what u would be gettin urself into? pregnancy and havin a baby isnt all fun and games,and u know bein so young doesnt mean thing will turn out right either,im 20 years old and had my daughter 4 months early and u know what happens then??? u leave without that lil one and never get her back,u think mommy and daddy will pay for that? they would kick ur ass to be honest unless they are that pathetic of parents,i just hope this is a joke,u need to worry about school,and then gettin a job and then findin a place once ur old enough,u think ur lil bf will stick around?? i doubt it he will leave u all by urself to take care of that baby so id think twice
Jadine - posted on 06/12/2011
Im a teen mother... And its not as easy as u thnk.... my relationship with the father of my son is rocky... bt its somethn to expect with a child at a young age... My boyfriend and I are also financially unstable.... I Cn almost garantee if u hav a child now ur parents will be the one supporting he/she... ur too young to be thinking about stuff like that.... u need to enjoy ur life....
Constance - posted on 06/12/2011
Sweetie why do yoou want a baby so bad. You are only 13. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my oldest but it wasn't planned. I have had to struggle for everything because I became a mom in high school. I had to work, go to school, be a mom and I lost all my friends. I wa lucky that even now I am with the same man but in most cases that isn't reality. When sh was born we lived 6 hours apart so I had to do everything by myself. I am the one who got up in the middle of the night, made bottles, changed diapers, teething, ear infections, and everything else that goes along with being a mom. It may seem easy but it is a lot of hard work. You are a mom fulltime, you have to work fulltime, and you need to go to school fulltime. When you want to do something with friends you have to hire a babysitter. Then you can't just run all over and go all the time. If you have a baby say goodbye to verything your friends are doing because you are a mom.
You need to enjoy being a kid. Finish school including college. You have to be not only emotionally but finacially ready to have child. You are not ready. You have so much time to just have fun. The only responsibility that you should have is school and chores around the house. Don't rush into being a mom you want to be able to look back and say my teeage years rocked. Please don't follow in the footsteps a lot of us has laid before you. Take a different path. You will be a mom one day just not any time soon.
Ashley - posted on 06/12/2011
Well if you really want this you should do it the right way.
step 1- get married, studies show children are much healthier in married families with two parents.
step 2- finish school. you don't want to be a mother without a good education.
step 3- finish growing physically. ladies who get pregnant before they're done growing put themselves and the health of the babies at high risks for defect and other serious health problems.
step 4- get a home. you'll need one of these, renting is okay too, but it should be your home.
step 5- call an ob/gyn. you'll need advice about which vitamins to take and appointments to set up.
step 6- get a car. you'll need one to take yourself and your baby to well baby check-ups.
if after you get all these things in order you are still somehow 13 then I'd say go for it... you'd be the most prepared 13 year old I've ever heard of.
Abba - posted on 06/12/2011
Your still a baby sweety :) waaayyy to young to have one of your own ! they sell baby dolls @ the malls, you can maybe practise with them so that when the time comes where you wanna go play with your mates, you can just leave it sitting on your bed. Please darl, you've got your whole life ahead of you... Have fun, enjoy life girl !
Fiona-Rhiannon - posted on 06/11/2011
I always knew i wanted to be a Mum from an early age (maybe around 12/13)
When i was 18 i had my baby boy.
At first i was really excited, but then reality set in. Luckily i had a stable job and relationship, but the amount of money a baby costs still took its toll on us.
Not to mention what pregnancy does to your body. My boy was so big and stretched my stomach so much, i am covered in stretch marks and have found it hard to get back in shape. Then i developed whats called Pre Eclampsia. I had to have an emergancy c section and was really ill.
I breastfed my baby but afterwards he was a little poorly so after 3 months i had to start buying him formula milk.
Not only was i trying to survive off mine and my partners low incomes, i had to use it to pay the bills, buy food, buy clothes, napies, wipes, milk. We ended up just eating toast some days because i had no money.
And its not easy like most teens think when it comes to the council in the UK. You wont just get given a house, and because of your age you wouldnt be intitled to any benefits.
Soon i developed Post natel depression - i stayed in the house all day, couldnt go out with my friends and live the life i had been. I was always tired, struggling to find time to sleep, and you constantly worry about this little person you are caring for.
Having said all this, there are obviously plenty of cons, and when my son was 2 i fell pregnant again, because i did enjoy being a mum.
Currently i am a mum to 4yr old and 1 1/2 yro who is disabled. Im 22 and pregnant again.
I have a great support network but i am pretty much on my own.
My mum doesnt have the kids so i can go out, i rarely see my friends or go anywhere, and im always skint cause i have to feed and clothe them.
But being a mum can be very rewarding and i wouldnt change it. Besides, i dont agree with abortion unless its for the absoloute right reasons, not something like someone changing their mind.
What im trying to say is, having a baby is VERY hard work and will drain you mentally and emotionaly.
You need to think about what responsibilities you will have to take on. You cant have a lie in at the weekend, just pick up and go out with your friends. Your school work and grades might suffer then you wont be able to get a good job and support your child.
I think you should wait many years, finish school, go to college/uni, get a good job, find a nice partner that will stay with you and love and support you, and help you when you both decide its time to have a child.
Your just a child yourself - dont waste your childhood, its precious.
Like someone suggested, look into babysitting to satisfy your cravings. It will also give you an insight into how much work you have to do to look after a baby
Casey - posted on 06/10/2011
Hunny wanting a baby is not stupid but wanting one at the age of 13 is not very smart. You have your whole life to be a mom, but it is very hard i mean you would have no more time to hang out with your friends, and how are you going to pay for diapers and all the other baby essentials, you need to finish school before you thank about a baby. please stop and thank for a moment what do you want your life to look like in the next couple of years
Christina - posted on 06/10/2011
It is totally stupid and a bad decision to purposely get pregnant at 13yrs old. You can not get a job to support your baby. You can't get a driver's license. If you get pregnant and your parents refuse to support your kid financially, how are you going to afford to put clothing on your baby? And diapers? How are you going to feed your kid? How are you going to pay for the EXPENSIVE medical needs of a baby? You can't even take your child to the doctor.
Babies are not toys. You could have a child that is disabled. That is a totally different ball game. How are you going to handle a baby who has colic and is crying for 5-6hrs NON STOP every night? How are you going to finish school? I was a teenage mom. Luckily I graduated HS at 16yrs old so when I got pregnant at 17 I was able to focus on working and saving money. I started going back to school to become a nurse when I was 18yrs old. I had no help with my son, who was a year old, and I would study until 2am almost every day, then turn around and get up again at 5am just to take him to daycare and go back to school. I was also pregnant. I barely survived!
Being a teenage mom is NOT fun or easy. You give up your entire life. You don't get to go have fun. You give up your youth to raise someone else. And since you aren't a grown up, you can't really comprehend how to raise a child because you are still being raised by your parents! If you have a baby at 13, the chances of you finishing highschool are slim to none. Do you really want your child to have nothing in life because it's mom is on welfare just because she was selfish and chose to get pregnant on purpose at 13?
Petrina - posted on 06/09/2011
to be completely honest, yes katalena, it is stupid. you are 13 years old...you are barely in your teens and you already want to be an adult? please, take everyones advice, and wait, if you are not pregnant already. let yourself grow up a little bit, babysit for family or friends who have infants and younger children. im 19 and i have a hard time caring for my 10 month old daughter. her father and i are still together, but sometimes i feel like i have 2 children. if you get pregnant this young, then be prepared to do it on your own. chances are the baby's daddy wont stick around, deny the baby is his, etc. you arenot even legally old enough to get a job. how were you expecting to financially provide for the child? you cant expect your parents to take the baby while you do what you want all day every day. i suggest that you wait a LONG while before you actually try to have a child. wait to be with someone you TRULY care about and are financially able to care for one. i love my daughter and my fiance (her father) to death, but i really wasnt ready, nor did i want, to be a teen mom. but it happened, and i grew up. i work 2 jobs, go to school, take care of my baby and do everything around the house we live in with my parents. i gave up hanging out with my friends, and being able to go where i want, when i want because i have a child that needs me more than my friends do. i gave HAVING friends in general, because a majority of my friends do not have kids. i gave up A LOT to be a teen mom. do you really think that you are prepared to be a 13/14 year old teen mother, who has barely had a chance to experience anything in life and be able to go through high school, knowing you have a child to go home to every day, rather than go to a friends house after school? i very much think you need to weigh the pros and cons of being a 13/14 year old teen mom, before you do anything drastic. because once you do it, you cant undo it. i ask you, as a teen mom myself, take into consideration everything that i, as well as all the other women on here, are saying.
Jane - posted on 06/09/2011
Yes, it is. There are different times in life for different activities. Babies need time, money, energy and mature decision-making, all of which will come when you are older. Now is the time for learning, growing, imagining what you want your future to be, and finding out what you need to do to get there.
The babies will come, but later.
Samantha - posted on 06/09/2011
Having a baby isnt playing doll and dress up, teens have babies everyday yes but it is a poor choice. I have a son and we have alot of problems his real father just commited suicide and where trying to figure out how to handle that. We own a house and with a recession its getting harder to pay bills. You cant even drive yet, how will you get your baby to appointments and even to the hospital when you have labor. You dont even know what labor is like and i cant even explain it to you. How will you deal with the babies father, at thirteen and relationship wont really last, do you really want to trap a guy that way? Are you prepared for a every 2-4 hour bottle feeding, getting up going to school, missing out on your friends to come home and take care of a baby, this isnt a weekend thing or anything its everyday. You will have to live with your parents how do they feel about this decision? What about childcare diapers clothing formula toys. You will loose most of your friends, life, parties, weekends and people will frown upon you.
I love my son i wouldnt give him up for anything, but he isnt easy ive had to replace my glasses, i have no social life and i deal with alot on a daily basis with starting school and my boyfriend working 2 jobs. I grew up faster than most kids before i had my son, i was prepared but are you?
Tiare - posted on 06/09/2011
Honestly I felt the same way at that age. I was always asking family friends if I could baby sit and I was really good with babies and I thought getting the love of a baby was the best feeling ever. And it is.. but what I didnt know at the time was hard hard it really is. I am now 24 with a 9 month old. I am very lucky to have a boyfriend that loves and supports me and lets me stay home to take care of the baby. But let me tell you that I have not had a good night sleep in almost a year. ( the last few months of pregnancy i was too uncomfortable to sleep) Sometimes I get so sleep deprived I feel like i cannot take another step but your baby continues to need you no matter if you are dead tired. Not to mention if you get sick. Before a baby you have the luxury of laying in bed all day watching tv eating chicken soup to recover. With a baby there is no rest. Even if you have people there to help you, its very hard to get up when your baby starts screaming for you and all you want to do is lay there. And then there is the anxiety! All I can think about when I leave my son with a sitter is "what if they arent as careful as I am and somethiing happends like their dog bites him or he falls off the couch or splits open his head on the coffee table or god forbid he drowns in their toilette because they left the bathroom door open!" I love being a mom more then anything else in the world but I am glad that I waited until I was out of my teens and got to live life a little. Even now at 24 all of my friends go out an party every weekend and go out to dinner with their boyfriends. I dont have the luxury of that because I have to put the baby down to sleep by a certain time and he constantly wakes up to breastfeed. An I dont have money to go out to dinner or the movies with my boyfriend because we have to provide a good home and daipers and toys and clothes for the baby. So just think about it. You have so much ahead of you. Wait until you are out of your teens atleast... enjoy life because the first few years with a child brings equal ammounts of stress and anxiety as it does happiness..
Karli - posted on 06/09/2011
Why do you want to be a Mom so young? What are you hoping to get by having a baby at 13? Can you list what responsibilities you think it takes to be a good Mom? How much do you think it costs to raise a baby? Where do you plan on working? What about school/education? What about your future? What do you want to be when you grow up?
Ruby - posted on 06/09/2011
All I can say it takes a lot of responsibility to become a mother. I know you might think it’s cute to have a child and how interesting it looks to have a baby. But maybe what your missing is real love and you might be thinking you’re going to find it by having a baby or keeping your baby’s daddy forever, well apparently it doesn’t work like that. It brings a lot of pressure for both parents where the money coming from or how you’re not going to be able to focus on school but more on your child. Think very well once your pregnant it’s done, and there is going to be a lot of stressing with you and your boyfriend such as jealousy, fights, unsupportive and all of that is going to bring you al to give up on being parents. Not just about you too but also for the child, think clearly what are you going to teach your child or are you just going to let him feed on your fights or bad words or just sit him all day watching cartoons. There are so many things you must learn in order to become a parent like focusing on your child’s life having a plan such as his daily activates, his meals, manners and much more. You don’t want to raise a child and let him or her become a child your where not expecting. Your very young and I believe that you want to have a baby but I also believe that your just searching love that never ends, well I am not going to be religious at all but being truthful. I wanted a baby so young at the age 16 without thinking I got pregnant, and it was a struggle many emotions hit you and I and my husband would fight a lot about parenting, jealousy, we had no more communication and all I thought was going to lose my baby’s daddy. And I loved and still love him so much I could not imagine losing him. Then I got pregnant again at the age 17 and more fights it was bad, at that time we would just regret being together as a couple very violently fights. It was very bad I mean my little girls where always watching us fight and say so many bad words us had no schedule for them or manners. It was very sad, but now at age 21yrs I and my husband have found the true love and now you can’t imagine how we have changed. What i am going to tell you is no religion but what changed us was Jesus Christ himself. Yes, he freed us from all fights and anger ect. Now my children have a wonderful life and schedule. My little girls ages 4 soon to be 5 and the other one 3yrs they are well mannered and respectful also being homeschooled. We now live by the bible and it has been awesome. God never left us he is our Creator he is living and watching over us and he did send Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins to forgive us and give us a new heart and life he completes you and your boyfriend I mean anyone. All you have to do is accept him into your heart and he will do the rest. My advice to your baby girl is to go find out online what it takes to be a parent and ask God to reveal to you his will. God bless you. Anymore questions get o me here in circle mom.
Lindsay - posted on 06/09/2011
Sweetie please stop and rethink having a child this early in your life. I was also 18 when I got pregnant, and I have done it all on my own because my child's biological father refuses to help me with her. The first thing he said to me when I told him I was pregnant was that she wasnt his. So I was on my own from the beginning. Child are extremely hard to raise. They cost money from the time you get pregnant on. You have to pay for drs appointments and buy new clothes, and you dont want to go to school one day and realize your boobs have leaked through your shirt because you forgot to put pads in your bra that day. That happened to me when i went back to college after my daughter was born. I have made it through a 2 year college program while working and taking care of my daughter, but that has come with many nights where I have forgotten to eat or sleep because Im too worried about what my child needs or getting my homework done. When it is your time to have a child, you will know. Until then, finish high school and go to college so that when you do have a child you will be able to give them the best life possible.
Vicki - posted on 06/09/2011
I was 18 when I got pregnant (it wasn't planned) but we were happy about it and I've now got a beautiful two year old.
Thing is, whilst babies are lovely and cute, they grow up and with that comes great finical challenges as well as the worry and responsibility of this little person.
I'm now 21 and love being a mummy, but given the chance to go back to being 18, I would deffo have waited before becoming a mummy.
I no longer get to go out whenever I feel, my social life is virtually non existent and my time is all spent being a mum. It's not a game where you can just pass your child back when you get bored, it is a lifetime commitment.
Wanting a baby is natural but wanting it at such a young age is not really ideal. Nobody tells you what to do when the baby wont stop screaming, or wont eat and they do not come with a manual or instructions.
Please live your life first, finish school, go to parties, go to College/uni and then when you are more stable, and at a mature enough age, think then about becoming a mum xxx
Alison - posted on 06/09/2011
Being a mom is a worthy goal, but not for this stage in your life. Maybe you should look into babysitting or something to fill your craving for a kid until you're at least out of high school. You're not even legally allowed to work yet; how would you support a child? You can do so much better for yourself and future children by graduating from high school and finding a special guy to commit to and start a family with. Don't sell yourself short. That being said, if you're already pregnant, I don't support abortion. Being a mom is a serious responsibility and you should just enjoy being a teenager and focus on school and making good friends. There's lots of time for you to have kids.
Maria - posted on 06/09/2011
Uhm. . . If im gonna be completely straight up then yes. Wanting a baby isnt stupid. Wanting a baby at 13 is. Can i ask you why you have a want/need for a baby right now at such a young age?? Do you know about everything that comes with having a baby? Like do you know what happens to your body? Do you know about labor and delivery?? Do you know how much it costs to have a baby? Are you prepared to continue going to school and take care of an infant? How are you gonna get a job? How are you gonna provde the simple nessecities such as diapers, and wipes? Bottles if you dont intend to breastfeed? Have u thought about if you would breastfeed or will you just formula feed? If you breast feed how are you gonna do that and go school? Are you even still going to go to school? Do you have a good support group? Or will you just be having a baby so that your parent(s) can take on the responsibility??
Please chat with me and let me know whats going on in your head why you are thinking that you want to be a teen mom? Or is it that you are already pregnant?? Please either talk to me or even someone close to you that had kids. Its hard to raise a child and once you are pregnant you can never take it back. I want to help u so please let me