Stressed, no friends, partner always lying. What do I do?

Lindsay - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm 21, I have a 2yr old little man, my partner (his dad) and I have been together 4.5 years and he also has a 4yr old son from his previous relationship.
I work full time 38hrs a week and earn $10 more an hour than him, who only works about 20hrs a week. All my money goes to bills and he just "chucks in". He smokes pot but lies to me about how much. When I catch him out he says it's a rare thing and keeps lying.
For the last 2 years he has been "hiding" girls. As in, he will be texting girls but putting them under his male friends names. He also private messages them on Facebook etc. last weekend he went out with his little brother and got drunk and started messaging another girl saying "I hope I didn't make u feel awkward I was really drunk" when I asked him how much he drank he said he wasn't drinking and denied knowing her. This was just a few hours after telling me how much he is trying as we are both under alot of financial stress right now. I dont trust him and he knows it.
I'm sick of him and everyone else having so much fun and getting everything they want when I work harder than the people I know, earn a little more and still have nothing to show because I have to pick up everyones slack because they choose to either drink, smoke etc their money away.
What do I do?
I can't afford Childcare full time. So my partner watches my son 3 days a week. I can't afford the rent we pay and it's the same if not double everywhere else in this city.

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5 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 04/26/2012

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:( Sounds a whole lot like me, I have a lot of relatives here but both our parents are in another province and all our friends there too. Its been lonely since my son was born. His dad is just a gamer so I dont spend quality time with him. Some days are good but many leave much to be desired. Im not sure anymore if its my negative views or really just reality why I feel that way sometimes.

Well if you ever need an listener Im here. Nasty threats he gave you!!

Lindsay - posted on 04/25/2012

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Nah not really. Just 2 friends that live ages away.

Sarah - posted on 04/25/2012

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That really sucks. Im clinging to the family aspect as well. I think kids deserve the whole mother and father thing. But it can feel ridiculous at times. Hope things improve. I wish you the best of luck. You have any support from friends online at least? People to listen to you vent?

Lindsay - posted on 04/25/2012

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He just flirts with them mostly. I don't know if he has done anything else.
I don't want to split custody. I chose to have our son so I told him its clean up and step up or he misses out on both of us. Plus he said if I ever tried taking our son away from him, he would either take him and leave and never contact me. Or he would just kill himself. He loves our son, but because we were 19 (he was 20) when we had him, he still is in that "I don't want to grow up" faze men dont seem to grow out of.
I work Monday to Friday so I'm def not only seeing my son on weekends.
I just wish I had friends and more support. I have no one where I live. And my mother is of traveling with her new boyfriend and doesnt seem to care much about us.
It's basically the "family" aspect and the financial support that I'm really clinging too. At the moment I'm paying 2100 in bills each fortnight. It's bulls&¡t. So I kinda need him to help with that. I wish he would step up. Sometimes he acts like he is but it is always ruined.

One of my best friend lives 3000kms away and the other is 4000kms away on the opposite side of the country. So I basically have no one.

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2012

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Wow you put up with other girls in your relationship for TWO years??

Get split custody of the baby, then work on the days off you have. When you do you have your LO then you can be free to watch them still and get plenty of quality time, without worrying about childcare. But get it all written out and have back up childcare just in case he decides to dick around trying to interfere with your job.

Sounds like a total loser though. Wouldnt it be easier if our hearts were not involved and we could just simply deal with things logically for once....

My life would be a hell of a lot simpler and richer had I not got sucked in to some peoples lives...