TEEN MUM AND EFFING PROUD

Beverly - posted on 08/17/2011

Amanda, I'd be interested in hearing exactly how you are taking responsibility for your daughter. Do you support her financially? Are you (and/or your boyfriend) completely responsible for her, or do your parents help? Exactly what "sacrifices" have you made?

Terra - posted on 08/17/2011

Wow, so many are showing just how "mature" you are. calling people names, insisting that they are awful mom's because they are older, etc. The plain and simple fact is that if you were really as mature as you claim to be you would have been smart enough to realize that you were to young to have a baby. Yes your bodies are physically capable, but in this society being physically capable of have a child isn't enough. You need to have an education, a job, a home and a stable relationship with the babies father. Being proud that you have multiple babies by multiple men is not mature. Being proud that you lived with your parents and they took care of your baby while you finished school and got a job is not something to be proud of. Sure you can be proud that you made it through a difficult situation and have a beautiful child but you shouldn't be pushing it as a wonderful thing to do. And I'm sorry, there is a HUGE difference between having a child at 18 (both my own Mother and my older sister started their families at the age of 18 but they were also both married, had finished school, had their own homes, etc) and having a child at 14. At 18 you are more likely to be graduated and are more capable of getting a job some place other them McDonald's. You are old enough that places will rent you a home, sell you a car, and are old enough so actually support your child yourself instead of letting someone else support your child while you "grow up". As so many of you have been bringing up (and it just emphasizes your lack of education and maturity) girls as you as 10-12 did have babies 100+ years ago. They were also married to the father who was most likely much older then her, already had a home, had a job, worked the land, raised live stock, oh and the woman was most likely one as educated as her parents were willing to teach them. The girl was expected to stay home, take care of the babies, cook, clean and what ever chores needed doing around the home. Times were MUCH different, life spans were MUCH different (living to 40 was seen as OLD so you HAD to start young). Things have changed so much in the last 100+ years and one of those things are the age at which we have children.



I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't be proud for over coming adversity, being a good mom and having beautiful children but you should not be proud or even encourage the choice to become a Mom before you were 100% capable of taking care of your child or yourself on your own.



Yes, a mom at any age can be a great one, and a mom at any age can be a horrible one. That doesn't mean that just because you think you are mature and responsable enough at 14, 15, 16 to be a "great" mom that you should make an effort to have children. With maturity and responsibility comes the knowledge that there are right and wrong choices in this world and that those choices effect not just you but everyone else in your life and most importantly the innocent children you are choosing to bring into this world.

Teresa - posted on 08/16/2011

Fall pg is a term lots of ladies use. But so true...you become pregnant from a conscious choice not to use birth control and have unprotected sex.

Beverly - posted on 08/16/2011

What is this term "fall pregnant" all about? Sorry, you don't "fall" pregnant, you BECOME pregnant as a consequence of your actions. Sounds almost as though you're trying to abdicate responsibility.

Teresa - posted on 08/16/2011

You should be proud if you are doing right by the child you conceived. There is no reason to be proud of falling pg at 15. It only means you exercised poor judgement.

Teresa - posted on 08/16/2011

You should be proud if you are doing right by the child you conceived. There is no reason to be proud of falling pg at 15. It only means you exercised poor judgement.

Jessica - posted on 08/09/2011

i agree completley, im 16 with a 12month old.. im fed up of being slated when i do a bloody good job of bringing up my son. I used to look down at teen mums, now i am one myself - i take my hat off to any good teen mum!

Rose - posted on 03/29/2011

I am now almost 37 , but I had my first baby when I was 16 she is now 20 . Mostpeople think we are sisters (lol) good for me not so much for her! I screwed up alot along the way , I was not always responsible & missed out on all of teenage adventures, but, I wouldnt change it for the world . I now have 4 daughters youngest being 4 . Your adventures in life is what makes YOU who YOU are. As long as you love your kids & do the best you can by them, and for them then I dont think any one should discriminate. I was shipped off to Bethany Centre Home for young Mums in Grey Lynn. It was great , dont what it is like now, but the youngest girl there at that time was 13. Most of us ranged from 15 to18 yrs. I was a kid havn a kid , trying to be adult, for the most part I suceeded.

- - posted on 03/19/2011

I'm with Christina - I'm proud that I've raised my son well, and I'm proud of him, but i'm NOT proud of being a teen mother. I wish I would've taken sex more seriously.. but it happened, and I wouldn't change my son for the world. He's my everything. ♥

Christina - posted on 03/08/2011

Are you REALLY proud that you are a teenage mom? Really? Or are you proud of your daughter? I think teenagers forget that these are two different things. You can be PROUD of your child and PROUD you are a GOOD MOM, but not proud of the fact that you were/are a teenage mom.

Shari - posted on 09/03/2010

Just like to say, it is MUM in Australia, that is how it is spelt here, we are not all American. And both sides of this argument are correct, im 18, with 5 weeks to go until my first baby boy will be here, and i couldn't be happier, but at first it was a shock to my system, there is nothing wrong with being a teen mum at all, but i would much rather have been out with my friends right now, experiencing everything they are, without hearing about it on a Sunday night about how much fun they had in the Valley over the weekend clubbing ect. I would of loved to have done my hairdressing apprenticeship, which i had to give up once i found out i was pregnant. Although i wouldn't change the fact my son will be here in 5 weeks for the world, me and his father couldn't be more excited, i know deep down, he feels the same way as me, we have had to tame our wild ways of how we were 9 months ago, to mature so quickly to prepare ourselves for this whole new lifestyle, and i must admit i am petrified, but willing to live with my decision. I don't mean to critisis, but i was 17 when i found out i was pregnant, i could not imagine being 13/14 and trying to get my head around it. I wasn't even thinking about babies back then, let alone what i was going to wear to school the next day. The only main part i think is wrong about some teen mums, is if they are say 14 and plan to have a child with there "boyfriends" no relationships is forever at that age, let alone know the full extent of the world outside of the school yard.

Samiya - posted on 09/02/2010

Hey, I just wanted to say you're so right!! I'm 16 with a 3 month old, I got pregnant when I was 15. And in my opinion, NOBODY has the right to say bad things about young mothers, because we are all here from a young mother sometime through our family history.

Karalyn - posted on 08/04/2010

PS. I also find that at a younger age (im 21) mothers tend to have more patience with kids. I know alot of older moms (30+) and they snap at their kids for small things, where as I have the patience to sit down and discuss and issue with a child instead of yelling. It's also easier for me to scoop down to a child's level to have fun with them. ALSO us younger moms have MORE energy to enjoy whatever a child can throw at you lol =)

Karalyn - posted on 08/04/2010

I beleive that it is about maturity and stability. If your ready to be a mom be one, just own up to your responsabilities. If your a good mom, age shouldnt matter. I got pregnant at 19, and I was very well prepared in my heart, mind and at home. I beleive that im a great mom. My entire life revolves around my daughter, and my boyfreind couldnt be anymore proud of having a beautiful daughter. Becoming a mother was all ive ever wanted, and I wouldnt change it for the world. IF YOUR HAPPY...BE PROUD! I know I am too =)

Lavinda - posted on 08/04/2010

i agree, people used to have babies AND get married at ages 14+, theres not even a REASON to judge a pregnant teen, its been going for forever, and honestly i dont think its changing much, but about planning a pregnancy, i dont find that necessary at all while were this young

Amanda - posted on 08/03/2010

thats exactly right! u stole the words from my mouth!

Meghan - posted on 08/03/2010

I am also a teen mom. Was 15 when I got pregnant and 16 when I had my wonderful son. People ask me if I coud go back in time, if i would take it back. I said not if my life depended on it. I love my son and if I would take it back, the baby that i would have is not the same baby i have now. I love him with every fibre in my body. He was not a mistake, and never will be. you are very strong and i'm glad to know that there is someone else that feels the way i do.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/01/2010

I was 16 years old when I got pregnant with my first child. I was 17 years old when she was born. My daughter has been such a wonderful blessing from God. Being a mother has helped me to grow into the amazing woman that I am today. I would absolutely not ever say that I was proud to be pregnant at 16 & a mother at 17. I will say that I am proud that as a teenage mother I was able to be responsilble and care for my child and provide a loving and safe environment for her. At 16, I was a lot more mature than most of my peers. That being said, I don't think that the majority of teenagers are ready to parent their children. Being a parent is tough work! I can't imagine how I would have handled it at 17 without all the love and support I had from my family. I completely disagree with people saying that there should be no difference between a 17 year old mother and a mother in her late 20s or early 30s. Yes, physically and emotionally you have the potential to be just as good a mother at 17, as someone who is 30. However you can't ignore the fact that at 17, you obviously can't provide for your child's financial needs as well as someone who has waited until they were well established to have a child.

"I think a girl of any age can fall pregnant if they understand the responsibilties and are ready to make big sacrafises!"

I absolutely disagree with that statement. I believe that ideally, you shouldn't become a mother until you are prepared. You shouldn't plan to make big sacrifices. Enjoy your youth! I would be a liar if I tried to sit here and pretend that I wouldn't like to go out to dinner with my husband more often, or that I wouldn't like to just pick up and travel around the world. Being a young mother has been so rewarding for me. I love my children more than anything else in the world. I have three daughters, and I can only pray that they will not become teenage mothers like me. I want them to be able to move away for college, travel, do things that my husband and I are not able to at this time.

Adriana - posted on 08/01/2010

i think teenagers should enjoy there youth finish school then have a baby ....and no girls shouldnt have a baby at any age so your saying its right for a 12 yr old to get pregnent ???

Mahala - posted on 08/01/2010

good on you! im 17 and have a 21 month old daughter and am now expecting a little boy. i hate the descrimination against young mothers and families. the looks you get some times and the comment people make are disgusting. 100 years ago if you didnt have kids by 16 there was some thing wrong with you. i just hate the attitude people have toward the issue espessially wen most young mothers are just as capable to raise a child as a 30 yr old.

Kimberley - posted on 08/01/2010

hi i agree with you totally i think its pathetic how people drag young mums down im 19 and have 3 children and they couldnt be more looked after i think havin children young is a great thing you have more patience and can play with them a lot more i mean look at all the poor children that have older mums and dont get looked after people should respect young mums the same if not more than older mums as we give up our lives to look after our children older mums have had a life i would never change my children for the world me and my baby father have been together 4 years and are still totally i love we live together and support eachother i am in college doing a midwifery course as i want a great career to support my family and its true its not about age its about maturity so people need to start respecting us. :)

Amber - posted on 08/01/2010

I'm16 and had my first son and he is the cutest thing ever, and I didn't really have to sacrifice anything. I go to school my fiance has a job, lives with us, and helps out. My parents help a lot too. If you prioritize and not party like some ppl do you can make a great mom. I know ppl who are 30 and are more clueless than I am when it comes to their children. It is ALL about maturity. Not age.

Britney - posted on 08/01/2010

i would have to agree with you yes it is a major sacrifice and a mom should grow up at any age i have seen 20 30 even 40 year old moms partying like they just turned 21 and didnt have a care or resposibility in the world and it pisses me off. there are millions of moms who are responsible and millions of women having babies and partying, doing drugs, driving drunk. i agree age is a number and maturity responsibity and sacrifice are what counts

Gabrielle - posted on 08/01/2010

i'm 19, I had my daughter in January. I'm young, i had plans, but not for one second of my life would I want to relive any of those 9 months. She is such a joy, and the most perfect little person anyone could ever want. She wasn't planned, and i definately could have waited to have a child, but my "soon to be husband" are so happy. She has made our family so complete and so happy. I'm 19, and I'm damn proud of the way I'm raising my daughter. She has taught me to love in a different way. I never knew I could love and cry so much. ♥ She has changed me in a way no one ever could, and for that, there is no way a baby is having a baby, a mother just had a baby.

Ashley - posted on 08/01/2010

i think your right in alot of ways. 15 is VERY YOUNG. i didn't loose my verginity untill i was 16 so i can only imagine how hard it is to raise a baby so young. im 23 and struggling with my 14 month old. but it all depends on if your a good mommy or not, not how old you are and im proud of you for being a good parent. dont worry about what that rude lady says. obviously you have it handeled and ur doing just fine

Corrine - posted on 08/01/2010

I agree with you...I dont think it matters what age you are some people are 30+ and cant cope with a kid...age is nothing as long as the mum is at home & loves that baby they it doesnt mean nothing!!!!!!

Kirsty - posted on 08/01/2010

I was 17 when i got pregnant, in my mind i was not ready for it, i was terrified
my babies father left me
so now i'm a single mother
but i am a proud mother
and i think having a baby when your just a teen and getting through it and caring for that baby IS something to be proud of.
I think that the world has a warped view of teenage mother
they think we were all irresponsible and didn't care for our actions
well i know for a fact i was being responsible
but accidents happen
no matter what precations you go through to protect yourself you can still get pregnant
now i think that if you feel ready to have sex, your ready to take on the responsibilties of being a parent
and if your not.
stop having sex.

Laura - posted on 08/01/2010

I found out i was preg for my 18th birthday and was far from ready to have or support a child, but i strongly disagree with abortions so i stuck with it. Now i have my BEAUTIFUL 8month old daughter and couldn't be any more proud. I make sure she has everything she needs (and then some) I Take 100% care of her and breastfeed her still. I agree with you that age is NOT restriction, but only a number. Things should be judged on maturity. i planned to have children at the age of 22 or 23, Which i am noticing is still classified as a young mum.

Crystal - posted on 08/01/2010

See this all depands on the person. I myself am a teenage mother, I had my daughter when I was 15 and my son just before my 17th birthday. But I grew up. I did drop out of high school, but got my GED and have been in college since I was 15, I'm almost done and about to get my first college degree. So for me being a teenage mother hasn't stopped me from being successful. And its actually a normal thing in my family to have kids at a young age. So it was nothing new, and I will be a successful mother, I have plans, and since i started them young, I will be done adn still be young. My kids will be young and love me more for doing this. But on the other hand, I do have a friend who is older than me, has a child younger than my youngest, and she chooses drugs, sex, acohol and everything else over her son. She was older when she had him than I was when I had my daughter. And the father wants to be part of the child's life, but no she's using her son as a toy. Where as my son's father hasn't even made an attempt to see him and my daughters is a rapist. I am a proud SINGLE teenage mother of TWO. Noting and no one will ever change that. Its all psychological and that's it.

Zaquiah - posted on 08/01/2010

luvn da status..........

Harley - posted on 07/31/2010

I love this! So true!

Ashley - posted on 07/31/2010

no 15 year old should PLAN to have a baby.It happens i was 15 when i first got pregnant unfortunatly i lost that baby but it was on accident.No 15 should plan on a baby jsut for the fact that you can barely get a job at that age to support your baby so its more like your parents supporting you and you supporting your baby with that money.Of course some young girls are mature enouh and have the right emotional support for their baby but a 15 year old planning on a baby is jsut ridiculous. They need to live life be a kid.I am 16 now and pregnant with my second kid it was still a mistake and i am barely financially stable.

Latasha - posted on 07/31/2010

where is this other topic i really have some things to say to the b*tch that started it!

Latasha - posted on 07/31/2010

i was 18 i just graduated when i had my first... and u wanna know the funny thing!? IM DOING BETTER THEN 90% OF MY FELLOW GRADUATES.. so when someone says something to me i tell em to go eff themselves... we bought a house, my husband and i both drive brand new vehichles, he makes more then most peoples husbands do! (he was 20 when our daughter was born) he worked his ass off to give us a good life, i work as a an assit director at the local day care, so anyone who thinks young moms cant do it and have negitive thoughts on it can really go fuck themselves because i know someone who is 30 and having baby number one and me im 22 almost 23 having baby number 3 and way more financially stable then her!

Liane - posted on 07/31/2010

I wouldn't agree with a young girl setting out to get pregnant, but pregnancy happens!! I do feel many teen mums do fantastic jobs raising their children and get very little acknowledgment for doing so. Some may need a little extra help, others take it in their stride but the same can be said for any new mum of any age. As long as mums of any age put their baby first, look after their needs and love and care for them teaching the right from wrong does it matter what age they are? Their are many mums of various ages who are too selfish to be good mums, refuse to make sacrafices for their children but they will not be judge half as much as a young girl doing a great job and the only thing going against her is her age!

Latwanna - posted on 07/31/2010

Elizabeth thank you for the encouragement but dont get me wrong I never said it was easy. I will never condone teenage pregnacies b/c the level of maturity isnt there. You have to be able to get there in your journey. I was always more mature than everyone my age but I can not say I knew all the responsibilities of being a mother. I can also say that if it wasnt for family support I dont know where I would be. They have also helped me get on my feet. So I never said it was easy, but I wouldnt trade it for anything.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/31/2010

Girl I feel ya Im 27 now I was 15yrs old when I had my first child an my kids are BMW's their Black,White and Mexican

Kimberley - posted on 07/31/2010

I know if nyone is in england watching BBC news the other night when that old cow was slating teenage mum live on telly. What the fuck does that dumb bitch know. If she slated an ethnic group it wuls b racist if she slated a gender it wuld b sexist but its fine to slate us just for r age. as if it not hard enough. but nw BBC have just told the nation that its acceptable to bully us its goin to get a lot worse

Elizabeth - posted on 07/31/2010

you have some truth to what you say but I wouldn't recommend teen pregnancy to anyone and I was 15 when I had my first child and she was premature and her intestines were growing on the outside of her stomach I didn't even get to hold her for the first time until she was over a month old. I wouldn't take her back but I wasn't ready for her either. There's alot to being a parent. trust me I understand you I've been through more things than a 40yr old woman has been through I'm 27yrs old now and I have 4 beautiful children with my ex husband and I'm on my 2nd marriage,but lets be real when I was 15 I wasn't thinking of responsibilities of having a child.It's alot of work and you have to grow up faster than you thought you would and I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would have a child with complications where she wasn't aloud to be in daycare. I was a baby having a baby but my advise to you would be don't give up and be proud of who you are, alot of mothers old and young don't have what it takes to be a MOTHER. Alot of us have it to be a mother and alot of us don't.Just know your not alone

Latwanna - posted on 07/30/2010

I am 18 and I have a 4 month old. I can say her dad and I did not plan as well as we thought but we are making our way. I believe that every first time parents are a little shaky in what to expect with a new baby on the way. I know that it is harder for some teens to sacrifice for a child growing inside of them. Furthermore, sometimes that could be with any mom, age may not be a factor. I am happy to be a mom and would not change it for the world. She had been my motivation and i have made straight A's in college while being pregnant and we both will return to college in Aug and stay there until I graduate. I was willing to give up my life as a college student for a live as a parent first, student second. Family is more important to me than anything. And that will never change.

Puja - posted on 07/30/2010

i saw that same thing that a mom wrote. it pissed me off so much... the funny part was that he said he got prego at 16 and 16 is a okay age but b4 that its not. makes no sence. im 20 and going to have a baby and inside im still a kid... everyone is you know, and i get that ya younge ppl like us may not have that much money or w.e but we still are able to take care of our baby. I know a chick who got prego at 23 and still got an abortion caz she didnt want to give up her needs.. oh buys what she wanted when she wanted so... that mom that says kids having kids is just not worth it you know.

Lizzy - posted on 07/30/2010

I was also a teen mom and I strongly dislike the stereotype of being a teen mom! It only takes a few teen girls to have babies and not take responsibility and except the consequences to make EVERY teen mom look bad! I got pregnant with my son when I was 18. I am now 20 and I love my son more then anything! I have been married to his father for a year now we live together and support our son all on our own! I believe that being a teen mom has nothing to do with what kind of mother you are, it's completely based on maturity level and willingness to change and make your child first priority no matter what. To all the teen moms out there doing what you need to do and stepping up keep up the good work!

Jaimie - posted on 07/30/2010

why is it so horrible for a teenager to have a baby? Why do our bodies let us get pregnant at the age of 10-14 when we start our period if we are not suppose to. And if you decide you want a child when you are a teenager what is wrong with that? i'm 18 and i had my daughter when i was 17, i didn't plan it, but i deffinately don't regret it and i guarentee i'm a better than mother than have the 30-40yr old mothers. i have a job, her father has a job and we support her not the government or our parents, so just because your young and you have a child is no reason for you to say i dont understand the responsibility and all that. your just lazy and you don't want to grow up.

Arielle - posted on 07/30/2010

I agree completely. Just because we are younger than most doesn't mean we can't do it...and do it well at that! There are many people out there who are a lot older than us and are much more immature than us.

I became pregnant at 16, got kicked out of the private school I had attended since I was 3. Finished school through homeschooling and community college, and am now going to start pharmacy school here in 2 years.

Teen moms can still be successful. I'm also tired of hearing people say "Becoming a teen mother ruins your life!" I hate that SO much! It DOES NOT ruin your life unless YOU let it!! Children bring so much joy! I can't imagine my life without my little girl and my husband! And I'm still pushing forward and plan on having a very successful career as does my husband.

With God anything is possible. Just because we had babies younger than most people do doesn't make us incompetent, unsuccessful or immature. We can do anything we aspire and our babies will be proud of us! :)

Jessy - posted on 07/30/2010

i just wanna say i was 18 when i got prego and 19 when i had my son. my husband was 20 .... we have been together since we where 14! now we are expecting #2 now we 22 hubby 23 and our son will be 3 in oct!! being a parent female or male if you are 14 or 40. all that matters is you love your children and do what ever you can do for them. i tell my son 100 times a day i love him and hug him and tell him im proud of him in anything he does. in my eyes thats what a parent is. love respect understanding and do anything for them.

Britney - posted on 07/30/2010

from now on when i fill out a job application or rental agreement im gonna just write "i had a baby at 17 so im really mature" and see how that goes.

Sarah-Ann - posted on 07/30/2010

Im happy i had my daughter young, Its actually better! She wasn't planned no, but now im glad it happened. I was 15 when i fell pregnant, and had her at 16. I did get judged alot, But they can shove it! Because i see my daughter and she is just picture perfect, and shes got everything she needs plus more. Even trying for number #2 now!!! Its great cause im gunna be mid 20's when my kids will be in school, still young enough to persure what i wanna do in life. I love being a young mum, All my friends and family love my daughter too :)

Kristen - posted on 07/30/2010

I agree. I'm 16 & I'n proud as well. It's ALL about maturity.

Micha - posted on 07/30/2010

I don't really understand where you think it's right to get pregnant and not be able to work to support your baby because you're legally not allowed at most places. How can you say that YOU are taking care of all of your daughter's needs? You can't, because you're not. Other people are. I will not deny that stepping up and raising a child and sacraficing the remainder of your childhood for your own child is a huge responsibility, because it most definitely is, and I definitely commend you for that, because you ARE doing a great job with that. However, when you leave your child to go to work and make a paycheck to buy everything for her she needs - and wants, if you can - you will realize just how much harder parenting actually is. See, right now, you're only seeing half of the picture. Parenting is so much more than just taking care of a child. It's supporting you child monetarily, emotionally, etc.

I got pregnant when I was 17, hadn't worked for nearly a year, and just got a job when my son was around 6 weeks old. So, take it from me, it only gets more challenging, frustrating, exhausting, and wonderful once you start working.

Taylor - posted on 07/30/2010

My situation is a little different than most... I chose to be a mother. When I was 17 my then boyfriend got custody of his 6MO son who was at the physical and developmental level of a 2MO because his birth mom left him in his carseat all the time. Might I add that she was a "socially acceptable age" to have a baby but she didn't take care of him, she chose to party and drink and neglect him instead. Within a month of us having custody he was fully caught up and is now a completly normal 1.5 year old. I'm so proud to be his mommy even though I had to grow up fast and give up alot of my freedom to raise him. I wish I could tell everyone who gives me dirty looks or asks how old I am this story to prove that age isn't everything. It's whats in your heart and depends on the person. I had no clue what I was in for and no my life is not easy but I love my family and wouldn't change a thing.