Allie - posted on 06/08/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
Okay. So I hope this doesnt turn out really long but I have so much t say. sorry for any typos I.m writing fom my phone and it lags it a lot.
Alright, so I'm 17, and I have a 7 months old baby. I got pregnant when I was 16. It was the first time, I was dumb and unexperienced, immatture... Anything along those lines, I recognize it. My ex told me that since it was my first time here as no risk of getting pregnant and I believed him like a fool. Weeks later I found out I was pregnant and after a week more of no sleeping I decided to tell my boyfriend then. I was hoping he would assume responsability and stay with us two. But when I told him he left me the day after. He asked me if I wanted to get an abortion, I said no and he said that he was too young and couldn't deal with the responsabilities of raising a child. I went through pregnancy all by myself, as well as giving birth. My parents own a company so they have never been too involved in my life. I grew up raised by babyaitters mainly, so my parents are no help.
Now after seven months from Jace's birth things seemed to finally fall into place. A guy I knew before got pregnant, who was my friend, started to come to my house. Hes now 19. At first I did not want to see him because he was involved with my ex, but he explained he had not seen him since we broke up and he just wanted to help me because he knew I was all alone. After some weeks of him trying to help I finally let him help me with my baby some hours of the day, sometimes while I took a quick nap or something like that. He turned out to be so, so, so sweet. He bonds with Jace perfectly and ia great with him, and always helps without telling him more than once. Couple months of having him around he told me he had always liked me before and that he wanted to be there with my son and me, involved in our lives. At first I did not want any romantic relationship with him, but after some more time I realized I was having feelings for him and it might be a good chance to reconstruct my life with him and give my son a father, even though he is not his biological dad. He also told me that my ex had been cheating on me with more than one girl for months, including having sexual relationships. Anyways, we have now hold a relationship for almost three months and I could not ask more of him. He changes Jace, feeds him, plays with him, falls asleep with him in the couch... Just the perfect dad, and my kid loves him. He has recognized to me that he does not want sex before marriage, and has never tried anything other than holding me and kissing me. I know it is only a couple of months of us sharimg a relationship, but he has been around for longer, and it just feels right with him. I dont want to jump into anything at all right.now, like we are going to be together forever or anything like that, but just take it one day at a time.
Now heres the problem. Two weeks ago I found at my door my ex, Jace's biological dad. Although the first time I closed the door on his face and refused to see him, he would not give up. He would call me, he would ring the door, he woukd wait for me outside my house, he would wait for me to get out of my job. He said he wanted to see his son, and he apologized for leaving, excusing himself that he was just too young and caught off guard and couldnt cope with it.
I talked to the guy I am with now, and after a really long talk we agreed to let him see my aon at least once. He saw him, and spent a day with him. That same day when he returned my son to me he confessed that he still loved me and wanted to get our lives back so we could be a family. I explained to him that the only interest I had of having him arouns was for my son. Still, I feep that I have a special place for him inside me, since he was the one that I lost my virginity to and now we have a child together. But I still like a lot to be around the guy I'm with now, and spend time with him. I'm a complete mess.
On one side I want to get rid of him Jace's father and not let him see my son, but on the other I find myself wondering if it is fair that I'm not allowing Jace to meet his biological father. Yet again, since the guy I'm with now, Bren, has been around him and taking care of him I am worried that it might cause confusion to my son when he grows older. I am also worried that hm being around mght harm my current relationship. Before he appeared everything was going great and now I'm just so confused and worried.
Okay sorry for the super long text, ladies! Advice please? I'm lost