All Communities > teenage mothers/young mothers > this group seems to be getting very bitchy??

this group seems to be getting very bitchy??

Cassana - posted on 07/24/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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hello everyone! I think we need some more support on this page rather than being so judgemental to one another, everyone is entitled to an opinion but this is a group for TEENAGE mothers and yet everyone seems to be battering people who are under 16 for getting pregnant but can I just point out something... though 16 is the legal age to have sex, in the UK you are still not classed as an adult until 18 so as for those people who are 16/17 saying about kids having kids (under 16)... I didn't think 16/17 was an adult? I don't nessesarily agree to planning a baby when your that young but if its unplanned then who is everyone else to judge? at the end of the day as long as your baby has everything they need and they are loved is that not what we can only hope for as mothers? I would expect to read all this stuff on a page for older mums but as a group of young mothers should we not support each other. we cannot change what is now so why judge?? We all know what its like to be judged and have people stare at us so how can anyone say they are any better if they do the same. at the end of the day no one knows one another well enough to judge their situation or why they fell pregnant so young but it is what it is now and it cannot be changed. Everything just seems to get very bitchy on here and thats not what I thought thos was for. c'mon ladies lets give each other a bit of support rather than being judgemental all the time. I was 18 when I had my first baby, I will be 22 in october and I have 3 children now, (not having anymore lol) me and their daddy got married last year and rent our house. our second 2 babies were both very prem and sick, and our yougest (little girl) has had to have 2 surgeries, one when she was only just over 2lbs and another about 3 weeks ago. It has been very hard and has made it all the more difficult to find suitable jobs since my husband was made redundant a while ago... so yes at present we are having government help but this is not through any fault of our own or for lack of trying, I know some may read this and think we're scrounging off the state but thats for you to think, not to know. The reason I'm explaining this is because I'm trying to get a point accross about not knowing one anothers circumstances. our family has been under immense stress and it has been a struggle to find appropriate work yet people who don't know us just assume we're lazy etc etc without knowing the full story. It seems that this whole group is becoming very bitchy and that is a shame. it's certainly not what I signed up for and I doubt it is for many of you. lets just be a little nicer ay? xx

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6 Comments

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Cassana - posted on 07/27/2010

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I do agree that people shouldn't be planning pregnancies so young, that is mad, I had never intended on getting pregnant at 18 let alone 13/14. I was just thinking that there should be a bit more support, it will always be contraversial but it is what it is and teen pregnancy has been, and always will be around regardless of how much everyone argues about it. thanks for the response x

Denise - posted on 07/25/2010

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just for the record the name of this group is teenage mother./ YOUNG mothers. i am 23 and consider myself a young mother. i dont think babies should have babies. i have a friend who dropped out of school and she is my age and has a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old. she lives at home. works at mcdonalds and parties all the time. take the time to grow up first! i agree accidents happen but a 14 yr old planning a pregnancy. if i had a daughter i would flip out!

Brooke - posted on 07/25/2010

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its not so much about a 13, 14 or 15 yo being bad parents. it's the fact that legally they are not even close to be counted as adults. therefore they need a lot of support from others. Its not fair.

No matter what people are going to clash. There are thousands of us on here.

Maddi - posted on 07/24/2010

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i just responded to a post about that. why i 16 like the age for it to be okay? i was saying that even if you're older like in your 30s you can be a worse mom then someone whos 13! i dont think its much of a matter w ith age just maturity. if you're too immature to have a baby and you cant handle it then you shouldnt. i was 16 when i found out i was pregnant and im 17 now and people have given me bad looks before and stuff (thankfully we live in a state where there are a lot of teen prgnancies though so it isnt too bad lol) but i dont care anyway because i know im a good mom. so yeah the point is age doesnt really matter. my friends step sister had a baby at 13 and she was a great mom and then i know someone who was 14 when she had her kid and made her mom raise the baby. i also know people who are in their 40s who are TERRIBLE mothers. so it isnt much of an age issue and i really think people should quit being so judgemental. how would they like it if someone gave them crap for being 16 and having a baby? i know i wouldnt like it. and i dont think you are scrounging off the government cuz we have to get food stamps and wic to help us cuz my husband cant find a job:( so dont feel bad lol

Brooke - posted on 07/24/2010

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have I been bitchy? YES.
Why? cause I don't like seeing all these young 13, 14 yo PLANNING to have a baby. Sure accidents happen, but what these girls dont realise is it will be harder for them then anyone else and it WONT make them a hero. Many people can raise a child so if they put themselves in that position then they shouldn't expect help.

Brittany - posted on 07/24/2010

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Personally I haven't noticed "bitchy behavior" towards teen moms in general. It is usually directed towards teen moms who are trying to have more children or already have a brood of children, and understandably so, who does that benefit? The children? It is very annoying to people like myself who work for a living to know that someone who is already living off of government assistance is going to be getting even more out of my paycheck because instead of bettering themselves before having more children, they choose not to and just keep popping them out. You can tell whatever stories you like but when your 17 and have 3 kids and you live on your own with "no support" it is my paycheck along with every other working American that is supporting you and the opening of your legs. If a young women gets pregnant once and has the baby, good for her. I hope that she shows the initiative that it takes to be a good mom and successful care provider, but when you have one and then without a diploma, degree, established career, savings account, college fund for already existing child, decide to pop out more, it tends to make those of us who will be paying for all that angry. Government aid is only distributed by the government, but it comes from the working people of America.

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