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To move out or not to move out..?

Ruby - posted on 05/26/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Me, my month old baby girl and her daddy/my boyfriend are currently living at my parents house where i have always lived. we was looking to find a falt/house to live in before i became pregnant. and now a lovely house has arised which we could never normally afford as its a family friends house who have decided to rent it. the only problem is its away from my family and next to his and his friends. its in the middle of no where so i would have to rely on his family to give me lifts everywhere as neither me or my boyfriend can drive. its a perfect oppurtuinty but im unsure as i will be stuck in the house all day unable to go out and i think my boyfriend might desert us a little to spend his time with his friends. should i let this oppurtunity go because of these two problems or should i go for it?

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Robin - posted on 05/27/2012

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Do whats best to make ur current situation better. Its not always best to make hasty decisions but sometimes there IS a reason why opportunity came knocking on your door. As a single mom, I've tried living away from my parents to secure a more independent life..i moved 3000 miles away from my home in New York, the first time I've ever left the comfort of my home. I knew no one there, except my aunt who would work most of the day but on the brighter side and the reason why I moved to California in the first place was that I was being helped there whereas I was unable to find help in NY. Tho i had the opportunity to go back to college which was my main goal from the start, I grew lonely and was very homesick. I missed my family, my friends, everyone whom I left. My family kept in touch with me over the phone but that still didn't take away how lonely I grew.

Being a new mom enough, you have the feeling that you're alone since you're basically at home 24/7. Having to be taken away from everyone you know and love, you get thrown out of your comfort zone. To me, I ended up living there for 5 months with my 5 month old and then hesitantly deciding to move back after finding out my parents missed me terribly too. Should I have stayed and just sucked it up, go to school, and make a better life for me and my daughter regardless of lonely I felt being so far away from everyone I knew? Probably. And if I had been more stronger, I would of stayed and have been already been finishing up Nursing school and started a career going. But my decision encircled what I imagined life was for me in the future and for my child too, I didn't want for her to grow up not being around my family and friends. It all depends on how you can handle new environments and if you can adapt to a BIG change like that, because you have to be comfortable in a place where you are raising your child. Like you said, you will have to depend on your boyfriend and his family and friends; will that be a struggle for you and can you get through it? Maybe its a little less lonely cuz you have your baby's father/boyfriend by ur side, but always keep in mind that your baby girl is a responsibility for the two of you and you should definitely have control regardless of where you are and who's house and rules you live under. Your best bet, I think, is to imagine yourself already living there and picture how daily life would be. Sometimes you never know unless you try. Hope I helped even a little bit, and Good luck with everything! :)

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