two daddies for son

JPatrick - posted on 04/09/2013

Why did he suddenly want a DNA test, did you go after the bio-dad for support or something? If yes, you can't have it both ways -- if you want his financial support, he has rights to his child. if you don't care and your new man is OK playing daddy, then marry the BF and have the bio-dad sign over his rights, if you're willing. Hard to advise when you haven't said much about the situation.

Carlyn - posted on 07/14/2011

Depending on your situation with the babys father, every father has a right to be in his childs life. If he wants to step up and be a father to your baby that is great! But your son should know who is father is and you should talk to your sons father and ask him how he feels about his son calling your boyfriend dad. It's only right for him to call his real father dad.

Brittany - posted on 05/30/2011

Seeing as how he needed to take a DNA test to prove he was the dad my guess is that he is not on the Birth Certificate. IF he is not on the BC then he has no rights to the child.

If he is a stand-up guy then it is only right for you to let the child be around his real father. There is nothing wrong with him being around his real father and your b/f.

Let the real one know that you are not playing any games. You will not stand for him coming and going out of the babies life whenever he sees fit. The first time he leaves will be the last time he sees the baby.

Lyndsay - posted on 11/08/2009

Well you can't help who got you pregnant. Regardless of what you say or think he is the father and he has his rights too. So your boyfriend is just going to have to deal with that.

Florence - posted on 11/08/2009

The one who takes care of a child and all the responsibility of a parent should be the dad and in this case its your boyfriend.The biological father wasn't there when you really needed him let him feel it now without being called dad,but later you will have to explain to your son the facts if his biological father insists to be in his life.All the best

Katie - posted on 11/05/2009

i would say if your bf wants to be the father of your son then let him...not many men out there would be fathers of someone elses baby and treat them like their own..im very happy that your bf is taking the stand and wants to be a father to your son..it only takes a real man to do that....but also i wouldnt let the real father not be in your sons life either..i dont think your son would be confused...i also think that the real father should have been there for you and your son but he wasnt...so really that is his fault and its too late for him to be the father and make up for that last time.. i wouldnt let the biological father be there all the time for your son and see him all the time but if he wants to be a father to his son then i would make him help pay for a few things..also he prove it to you that he wants to have his son in his life. good luck!

Heaven - posted on 11/05/2009

You cant expect the child to call his bio father "dad" when he hasnt been there. When in reality the step dad has been there for the entire time. Your lil boy knows who her dad is. The bio father needs to prove himself to you and your son before he calls him dad. It will all work out. Just give it time and keep doing things as if the bio dad wasn't there. Once the dad has proved hes there and not going ne where. everything will fall into place

Alisa - posted on 11/04/2009

I have two dad's, my biological one and my grandfather who adopted me who is now my dad. It's not all that confusing I call my biological dad by his name and I call my grandfather who adopted me dad. If you want the biological father to be in the picture you can just have your son call him something other then dad...I mean if your son is a year old and the birth father is just now wanting to come around that is kinda messed up. But it's your choice, I'd just have my child call him by his name.

Stuetina - posted on 11/04/2009

wow you know i have the same type of sit except me and my bf were 2geva when i was 12weeks pregenant so basically is the dad but now the reall dad wants to have something to do with her a YR LATER, im so confused, what to do, you dont wanna hurt the boyfriend but you cant stop the dad apparently..

Emm - posted on 11/04/2009

ulgh1 i hear you on that one. im in the same kinda situation... my son is now almost 16 months old and he calls my boyfriend dadda, he dosent really call his bio dad anything( although i have said that calling him by his real name(trevor) would be best) i will still explain to my son that trevor is his dad to and explain the situation to him lightly but since my ex is very inconsistant and not a good example (and my boyfriend has raised my son from 3 months untill now so far) i think it is appropriate at this time for my boyfriend to remain as daddy...
things may change but since his bio dad dosent really want to be there for him and my boyfriend dose/will be then he is daddy

Samantha - posted on 11/03/2009

A child is definetely allowed to have more than 1 father these days...and if your boyfriend has been there for both you and your son regardless of whether he was the biological father or not dont push him away...and if the biological father wants to be in his life as well thats great for him 2 because he can have the best of both worlds

Sam - posted on 11/02/2009

There is no problem growing up with 2 dads. There is more positive rold models. Your son is only one and won't understand anything to get confused about. When he is a little older, you could tell him, and he still may not understand but he will one day.

Jessica - posted on 11/02/2009

My daughter calls her biological dad and my boyfriend now dad. I don't think he will be confused he will figure it out.

Brooke - posted on 11/01/2009

maybe get your son to call his biological father dad and your boyfriend daddy?? I dont know if this would work... you could give it a go though, atleast he would be calling them two sort of different names with the same meaning.

Elise - posted on 11/01/2009

there are many children who call both their stepfather and their biological father dad. they understand as they get older. if your boyfriends name is on the birth certificate, legally he is the father. it is your choice if you want to let the biological father into his life after showing no interest for so long. he has no rights as of right now if he was not on the certificate. think about it and if it is the right thing for him to be in your sons life. sounds like you have a wonderful boyfriend though! :) good luck!

Jeanie - posted on 11/01/2009

I was 16 when I had my daughter, and while this isn't the way most people are, this is what happened to us. My daughter was 3 months old when we got together. He was great, he jumped in as her dad. He worked and went to school. I ended up getting pregnant by him and marrying him. We had a son stayed married until my daughter was 6 years old. Her Bio Dad stayed away, I guess because he didn't want to interfere with my life. Well, when my son's dad left, he said that he had to look out for #1 that was him, and then his son. He didn't want to see my daughter anymore. I was shocked, and told him I didn't want any money from him, just to please visit with her. He refused. My daughter had nightmares for a year that she was orphaned. She never could understand why her daddy didn't love her, but he still loved her brother. I realized that this is probably not something that happens everyday, and he was on drugs. But now that I am older and have been through so much with my kids... If I had to do it over again, I would do everything I could to encourage a relationship with her Bio dad. I'm not saying that your son should be discouraged from having two fathers, but in my experience, it is VERY rare that someone will truly take that responsiblity on and maintain it for a life time. And with kids, that is what it is a Lifefime commitment. Ask yourself, if you and your boyfriend break up, will you be willing to send your son to visit with him even though he has a new girlfriend? & on the reverse will he be able to tell a new girlfriend that he is a father, even though he isn't a bio father to your son. If you & he cannot answer yes to that, then you might want to re-think the situation. Because even though your heart might break and you are angry, you still have to do what is best for your child. Kids need BOTH their parents their whole life. Best of luck!

Cindi - posted on 10/30/2009

I was in a similar ordeal when I was 16 yrs. old. I had my son then met my husband now when my son was 5 months old. His biological father started coming around again when he turned a yr. old. He knows who his bio. father is but he also knows the man that has raised him and provided for him in every way is his daddy. So your son will be be fine and your boyfriend should understand. He knows that in the end your son will be thankful that your boyfriend is in his life. There is enough love in your sons heart I am sure to love both. I hope I helped.

Denisha - posted on 10/30/2009

when I was younger I had 2 dads and i called one daddy david and one daddy bob. I went through the same thing but my daughter was 5 when she met met her biological dad and my boyfriend had been around since she was 8 days old. She knows she has 2 dads but she chooses to call my now husband dad and my ex by his name. I think if you let the the child know he has 2 dads he will call them whatever he wants and eventually probably both will be dad. Good luck!

Kayliecia - posted on 10/30/2009

I grew up with 2 dads..well i actually grew up with one because my moms boyfriend and my sister's dad was my dad...and my other dad biological signed off on his rights for me...I don't believe it would confuse him at all but if your boyfriend now wants to be the father and has been there i would keep it that way you know? and the father now, he should just be around...i would have to explain to your son what's going on..i just think if you want his biological father i would have to say its a little to late..tough luck! he should have been there...I hope this helps! and with the boyfriend hurting feelings thing...he shouldn't be hurt...because that is his biological father.