What Advice Would You Give A ttenage Girl Who Wants To Have A Baby Or A Teenage Girl Who IS Already

Jaleela - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 29 moms have responded )

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For Someone Who Wants A baby Now, I Wuld Tell Them That There Is No Rush, Live YA Life, Travel, Finish School And Have Fun... For Someone Already Expecting I Would Tell Them that It is Not Easy Rising A Child So Young But Try To Always Have A Positive Mind Set And To Remember That Babies Are A Blessing!

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Leeinda - posted on 10/20/2009

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I was 15 when I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter. Although I love her and would never give back a moment of time with her, but lord I missed prom and graduation and grew apart from all my friends. Kids are rewarding and a joy, but I would love to have been able to do some of the things the other kids my age were doing.Although I am still married to her daddy I feel like I missed a lot. I'd tell any girl who wanted a baby to wait. But to someone who is already pregnant to suck it up cause the biggest blessing of your life is coming. Responsibility isnt the worst part, and you will live. Don't start thinking "oh me what am I gonna do?" Now is not the time to be selfish.

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Brooke - posted on 03/07/2011

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when I first posted on this convo my daughter was 9 months old..
Now she is 2 and I am 20, pregnant with our second... getting married in November. For me still, raising my daughter isn't hard.. For a lot of people it is. But that is why there are people in cirtain circumstances who should not have children at that point in there life..

Christina - posted on 03/07/2011

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Oh, I would also warn teenagers that babies might look cute, but what if you end up having a disabled child? Raising a child with disabilities makes the job ten times harder. I have two autistic children. No ultrasound could have prepared me for what I have gone through raising these children. They are miracles and I love all my children and feel they are all perfect. However, girls need to remember that not every baby is born healthy, and having a child is hard, especially when you have to worry every day about your child's health.

Christina - posted on 03/07/2011

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Raising a child IS hard. Taking care of a baby is not. For those who still have young children, just wait. They get older and raising kids is hard work. Besides, there is more to raising kids besides taking care of them; there is providing for them.
I tell teenage girls who WANT babies that they are stupid if they run out and get pregnant on purpose. (And no, I'm not talking about those who are living on their own ect; I'm taking about those who are living with mommy and daddy still.) If you are not financially able to PROVIDE your own home that you pay ALL your own bills, then you are not ready to have a baby. Being completely financially responsible for your child is part of being a parent.
For those teenagers who are expecting, I would tell them to pursue their education. That was the best decision I ever made. I was a nurse before my 20th birthday, and expecting my second child. I was married, and had a "happy life." Seven years into my marriage (and four kids later) my ex-husband ruined our lives and I had to take my four kids and start over from scratch. My nursing license saved us because I can provide for my four children alone.

Brandi - posted on 03/07/2011

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For a girl who wants to have a baby as a teen I would say that it does have its ups and downs. At least you will be there to watch your baby grow up. But make sure you can truly handle the responsibility because it is not all fun and games. It is draining work, and literally 24/7. Better make sure you think it through, and be ready to never sleep again.
To a girl that is pregnant, I would say that nothing anyone is saying in this forum will prepare you for what you are about to experience. All I can do is wish you the best of luck and tell you to cherish every moment because babies dont take long to grow into toddlers and then into kids and soon enough theyll be teenagers just like us.

Rhonda - posted on 03/04/2011

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Whatever age you are life with a child will be difficult. If you are pregnant and you are wondering what decision to make when looking at your options, please make the decision that WORKS FOR YOU and is in the BEST interest for your baby. No baby wants to be brought into this world and placed in the arms of someone who cant love them b/c of who the dad is or who has great resentment. You need to think can you devote your whole life meaning energy, love, self, time, sleep,social life, space anything you think is yours to that baby because you will need to share all of it. You need to think would you be able ( it wil be hard) to drop everything for that baby on a dime, spend your money on that baby instead of that new cd or shoes, not worry about your appearance ( a little but not as great as you may now) b/c you will need to get used to sporting the sent of dirty diapers and vomit and some stuff in your hair and on clothes including and not limited to the above. Any opportunities you might have now or is set for the future might not happen or it might be delayed. Having a baby in your life is not a burden but a struggle and blessing. Parenting is definitely hard and not for everyone, its not always what you expect!! Whatever your decision your thinking for more then yourself remember. Abortion, Parenting, Adoption its your decision you have to live with your choices:) If you are thinking about getting pregnant look at stability, maturity,and capability. Its not recommended to be a teen parent but hey lots of teen mom and dads have done it and many have made the best of it and moved on to have wonderful, educated, structured lives. Sit back and look around you, environment, family, peers ect thats where you start Good luck best of wishes

Emily - posted on 10/31/2009

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Quoting Brooke:



Quoting Emily:

Make sure your with a guy that is going to stick around, you and he both have good jobs, you have a place to live and a car.
Ask yourself if you are ready to be completely selfless and care more about your child then what your going to wear today or what your friends are doing tonight. Being a teen mother isn't hard I'm doing it and it is pretty easy but you have to be a certain kind of person to be able to handle it well...but if your a planing a child and your under the age of 16 and don't have a job and are depend on your parents for everything its not a good idea at all.






finally!! so I am not the only one who thinks it is NOT hard??





Yeah being a mother is easy if you have your head in the right place. You don't have to give up your dreams or your goal's when you become a younge mother.  You just have to plan them around taking care of your child too. However, you can't live a wild lifestyle but I wouldn't want to live my life like that anyway.

Brooke - posted on 10/31/2009

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Quoting Emily:

Make sure your with a guy that is going to stick around, you and he both have good jobs, you have a place to live and a car.
Ask yourself if you are ready to be completely selfless and care more about your child then what your going to wear today or what your friends are doing tonight. Being a teen mother isn't hard I'm doing it and it is pretty easy but you have to be a certain kind of person to be able to handle it well...but if your a planing a child and your under the age of 16 and don't have a job and are depend on your parents for everything its not a good idea at all.



finally!! so I am not the only one who thinks it is NOT hard??

Emily - posted on 10/28/2009

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Make sure your with a guy that is going to stick around, you and he both have good jobs, you have a place to live and a car.
Ask yourself if you are ready to be completely selfless and care more about your child then what your going to wear today or what your friends are doing tonight. Being a teen mother isn't hard I'm doing it and it is pretty easy but you have to be a certain kind of person to be able to handle it well...but if your a planing a child and your under the age of 16 and don't have a job and are depend on your parents for everything its not a good idea at all.

Brooke - posted on 10/28/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:



Quoting Brooke:

It is an easy decision!! if you cant handle the responsibility then keeps your legs shut... simple...
This is why so many older mothers look down on us young ones, we shouldn't have to struggle to juggle a job, school and being a mum let alone also trying to have a life. I am lucky in that way.. no I didn't finish school and I do regret it.. but I didn't bail cause I fell pregnant I left cause I wasn't cooperating with teachers and other students. I don't have to work!! I have that support of my partner.. but I choose to work one day a week to give me time out..






You've said that you don't have it easy??? You've had it incredibly easy!!! I'm glad that things have worked out well for you but what happens if you're partner gets laid off???? Mine did for nine months and I finished school. You need to take a look at how good you have it and not tell people that having a baby isn't hard





oh you have no idea.. I have had no parental support. I lost my mother at 14 and my dad isn't around. I got kicked out of home 16 and was in a foster home for a while. I relyed on everyone to get me by!! My partner is always guarenteed a job so we dont have that worry.



How many of you can say that at 17 you were living in a house with just you and your partner, not getting any support off anyone?? I have never recieved money of friends or family. I have never had any generosity just handed to me..



what my partner and I have we work dam hard for!!



live a day in my life and then tell me how easy I have it!!



I am greatful for what I have and I know I'm lucky.. but I have my mother to thank for bringing me up this way.



 



Having a baby shouldn't be hard though!! yes the late nights and early mornings can be shattering. when your child is sick it is heart breaking.



If you have the knowledge then you can set your life up so raising a child isn't hard.

Lyndsay - posted on 10/28/2009

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You know... I always knew that I would have a baby by the time I was 19, it was part of my life plan. When I got pregnant at 18 everybody tried to tell me these things but I didn't care. My son is now 2 (I am almost 21) and I would not change a single thing about him, including the age at which I had him. I think that as long as you have a real perception of what life will be like as a parent, and you are willing to assert yourself in whatever ways are necessary to become a good parent (such as prenatal/parenting classes, finishing school, working, etc.) then it really doesn't matter how old you are when you become a parent. Age is just a number, it all depends on your mentality.

HOWEVER... if you are a pregnant teen who likes to party it up, stay out all night with your friends, and skank around like the town's bicycle, then I would say don't even bother with the kid. Adoption or abortion are both better options than attempting to raise a child when you are unfit to do so.

Jennifer - posted on 10/27/2009

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Quoting Brooke:

It is an easy decision!! if you cant handle the responsibility then keeps your legs shut... simple...
This is why so many older mothers look down on us young ones, we shouldn't have to struggle to juggle a job, school and being a mum let alone also trying to have a life. I am lucky in that way.. no I didn't finish school and I do regret it.. but I didn't bail cause I fell pregnant I left cause I wasn't cooperating with teachers and other students. I don't have to work!! I have that support of my partner.. but I choose to work one day a week to give me time out..



You've said that you don't have it easy??? You've had it incredibly easy!!! I'm glad that things have worked out well for you but what happens if you're partner gets laid off???? Mine did for nine months and I finished school. You need to take a look at how good you have it and not tell people that having a baby isn't hard

Tenisha - posted on 10/27/2009

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Be ready to make serious sacrifices, to put someone(baby) before them always, and the bond from a child is the most amazing feeling! ( also make sure your finances, credit are in order, babies cost a ton of money!!

Brooke - posted on 10/27/2009

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It is an easy decision!! if you cant handle the responsibility then keeps your legs shut... simple...

This is why so many older mothers look down on us young ones, we shouldn't have to struggle to juggle a job, school and being a mum let alone also trying to have a life. I am lucky in that way.. no I didn't finish school and I do regret it.. but I didn't bail cause I fell pregnant I left cause I wasn't cooperating with teachers and other students. I don't have to work!! I have that support of my partner.. but I choose to work one day a week to give me time out..

Alexandria - posted on 10/26/2009

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I would tell them to chill. Having a baby isnt easy, and being pregnant without the support of everyone is even harder. My baby father left me for his ex girlfriend when I was like 3 months pregnant, I was devastated. My father still doesnt support me & I just had to get a job so I can start saving up. Im 18, my baby's father thinks he is going to the NBA, Im in school full time and I have a part time job. it is not fun. lol

Brandie - posted on 10/26/2009

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i would tell them to wait....make sure they're with a guy thats going to be there for them and not skip out on them at the last minute. for a teen thats expecting start saving up now. its not as easy as our parents make it look.

Dasia - posted on 10/24/2009

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i'm about to b 21yrs on Halloween. my son is 16mths. i love him 2 death, but if i had a choice i would have waited 2 finish skool or at least until i turned 22 i would have. u cant come and go like u want, sleep like u want(day or night), stay out as late or go out as much, and if ure not good with budgeting money,when u go preggo u will learn real quick. its not easy at all especially if u dont have the time or money. its a blessing and u have great moments, but life will change. i didnt understand wen ppl would say that to me while i was preggo, now i get it.

Angela - posted on 10/21/2009

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Everything happens for a reason...if it was meant for that girl to have a baby she would...but if you are planning it don't because no matter how much you plan or how good of a job you have or how in love you are NO ONE is really ready to bring in a new life....not even me....I don't regret having my boys but having kids will change your life. be better prepare for your child so when you do have them you are not struggling or have regrets that you had them....once you have kids evrything STOPS so if you are willing to do that and give someone else food, clothes, shoes, etc before yourself...

Cassy - posted on 10/21/2009

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i would say having a baby is fucking hard, n one of the most stressful things u will probably have to go thru in life, but thats for any age, no matter how easy it can b sometimes, theres the times when there sick or teething or tired n they just whinge and whinge and whinge n theres nothin u can do but soothe them, n yet they still whinge, u have less time to do anythin for yourself because a baby relies 100% on u and its your responsibility to look after them and raise them, its a lifelong commitment not a novelty

Rebekah - posted on 10/21/2009

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Babies are a blessing! If you are already pregnant or have a baby I would tell you to take as much help and advice as you can get, reading childcare books really helped me. If you can wait to have kids though - please do. I speak from experience! I had my first baby when I was 16, and now at 28 I also have a 3 year old and 2 month old. Life experience will assist you in raising your children. You will never know how wonderfully difficult it is to be a parent until you actually are one and then there is no turning back!

Brooke - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

this is exactly what I was saying but making comments about how its not that hard is naive just becuase you've had an easy go of it doesn't mean anyone else has and to say anyone can do it is wrong not every teen mother is a good mother and to plan to have a baby before you're even done High School is just plain selfish



it's not naive it's just the way it is, I wouldn't recommend anyone under 18 even having sex let alone a baby but if the girl is pregnant then there are still many things she can do to make a life for her and her child!!



I havn't had it easy, but I have worked hard and so has my partner. I am now 19 he is 21 we are paying off our house and a car... plus all the extras... this was not hard!! you just need to think about what is going to work..

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2009

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this is exactly what I was saying but making comments about how its not that hard is naive just becuase you've had an easy go of it doesn't mean anyone else has and to say anyone can do it is wrong not every teen mother is a good mother and to plan to have a baby before you're even done High School is just plain selfish

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2009

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I'm not really talking about 18 year old girls who have graduated and are in stable relationships I'm talking about 15 year old girls who think it'll be awesome to have a baby and yeah if you can step up to the plate and make it all work thats awesome but not everyone has supportive families and not everyone has a great boyfriend; I was broken up with my boyfriend for 11 months after our son was born because he desperately needed to grow up and I know its amazingly tough to try and juggle everything at once when your exhausted also your expeirences as a young mother depend a lot on your child, my son was sick and had to go to the children's hospital and have numerous tests done and he didin't sleep well or long beacuse of his illness. He's almost 3 and still won't sleeep through the night

Tiffany - posted on 10/20/2009

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Yeah some advise is to take it easy and don't give up on your dreams. If your still in igh schol keep going it is possible. I'm 19 and have a three month old son and I'm going to college if I can do it anyone can.

Brooke - posted on 10/19/2009

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Well my daughter was planned I had her when I was 18.. she is now 9 months old. How is it hard?? If you have your head screwed on, your in a loving supportive environment then it shouldn't be...

If she were planning then I would tell her to find a job first.. save up some money!!

make sure she is atleast 18, finished school.

She is with someone that is responsible, caring and wants to be there with her!!

set goals for yourself!!

-renting/buying a house

-getting your licence

-a safe car

-have a job...



I worked until I was 37 weeks pregnant... my partner and I are paying off our own house, a new car.

I work one day a week but lately atleast 2 days cause of xmas.. my partner has a full time job.

we have accomplished all that we have wanted in the last year!! there is no reason why others can not do the same..

Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009

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I personaly don't understand why any teen would want and plan to have a baby; I LOVE my kids but I would have waited if I had planned my son; I was 16 and in Grade 10 I was having a good time then I got pregnant I adapted but I know I missed out on a lot of stuff and I had to work twice as hard for anything if you want get pregnant stop and think about it; have you accomplished everything you wanted? are you ready to give up your dreams for a while? are you ready to devote all you have to providing for a child? and if your already pregnant congratulations and just remember if your willing to work hard yo can make it work

Kayla - posted on 10/19/2009

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For teen girls wanting to have a baby, I would tell them to wait and live their life. It's not as easy as it looks. I am 17 and I have a 3 month old baby and it is so hard raising a baby, but it is getting easier since he sleeps through the night now.

[deleted account]

mine was planned, but im not telling you to go get pregnant. my daughters dad and i are still together after 3 1/2 years. i was almost 17 when i had her. she has been a very easy bay and toddler (2 in november) and i feel like ive only missed out on a handful of things because i graduated on time, go to parties (but not every weekend), been to the clube (once), etc. my mom has only watched her about 7 times she she was born 2 years ago. her dad helps out alot and so does her other grandma. but this is only one happy story out of the millions of girls who get pregnant, dumped, and miss out on life. so i would say wait until your in college so you can go to the college parties w/o having to worry about a baby at home. and that way you can have fun in HS. Find yourself a boyfriend or lots of friends to hang out with so you stay busy

Michelle - posted on 09/26/2009

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Yes, I advise a young mother to wait.. Even though you think your ready to give up many things inorder to raise you child, you'll realise its not exactly what you expected.. Theres gonna be so many things you cannot do anymore, you never can realise how much you life changes or how much you rather of waited.. Live your life first, and when you've done almost everything you've wanted to do, settle down with children, cuz once you have them, its like its not about you life anymore, your life revolves around your childs life, its like your living in your childs shadow.. After all your not only helping yourself live, but your also helping your child with its life too.. more lifes to take on.. But for those expecting, congrats, it is a blessing, and in the end when you have your perfect little gift, you will be thankful, cuz another time or another place, their wouldn't be the baby you have now.. Its amazing to see your child grow, it makes you so happy with bliss to see your baby smile and be happy, its a wonderful unexplainable feeling to be the one you child relies on, especially when your their #1 in life..

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